# Inkleberry!

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inkleberry/307932>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [June 12, 2005, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inkleberry/307932 "2005-06-12T03:47:21Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 18\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![35340](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/3/8baadc/32.png) [@35340](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/35340)\
**Post date:** [June 12, 2005, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inkleberry/307932/1 "2005-06-12T03:47:21Z")

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Before I get my brain back and stop taking these stupid migrane pills so I can go back out to the real world and get off of the computer, allow me to:

1. See how Tinkleberry is doing

2. Correct your assumption here:

[http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=5800705&highlight=mynn](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=5800705&highlight=mynn)

No, I meant rolling Wolfie in curry powder, not the beans.

And his allergic rash we thought was from the green beans was more likely from baby advil, as we recently realized is kinda allergic to.

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**Author:** ![inkleberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f17d59/32.png) [@inkleberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/inkleberry)\
**Post date:** [June 12, 2005, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inkleberry/307932/2 "2005-06-12T05:34:45Z")

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Hi! Wow, this was unexpected.

Tinkleberry is now 6 1/2 months. He is 28.5" long, but we won’t know about his weight until he gets a check-up in the next few weeks. DrLoveGun’s scholarly opinion is that Tink weighs “an assload”.

Tinkleberry has successfully weathered getting 3 teeth within a week and a half, and finally has regained his civilized schedule. This week he is getting only 1 tooth, but that’s a freakin’ cakewalk. In total, he now has 5 1/2 teeth.

Tinkleberry had his first swim today! We went swimming in an indoor heated pool for about 20 min today. He _loved_ it! Obviously, “swim” being “get held by mommy as she whirls him gently around and he does a lot of splashing and kicking” as opposed to “locomote in liquid under his own power”.

Swimming is mommy’s new best friend too. Mainly because a 20 min swim= 2 1/2 hour nap. Oh yes, there will be much swimming this summer.

Still hates the car seat, but is getting a bit better about it. We make sure he has plenty of toys and when possible a Daddy in the back seat to entertain him. But part of it is that he is growing and can now look out the window, which holds his attention.

There is still, as always, the question of “poop or just farts?” Speaking of which, there was an unfortunate car incident with a blowout diaper and a pair of shorts recently, in which I horrifiedly discovered him and the car seat covered in crap and _he was licking some off his fingers_, while in the mall parking lot.

The only behavioral thing we are struggling with right now is what I am now calling Dining With Napoleon. Basically, he _refuses_ to eat unless he is given a spoon of his own. Often, he will still steal the spoon you are trying to use. He demands to feed himself, and is successful about 50% of the time. Sadly, though, this results in a god awful mess and we have no idea any more about how much he eats vs. how much he wears/throws. Please send us a dog.

That is the current State of the Union of Tinkleberry. I will now stop boring you with information I find cute but most probably find annoying or mind-numbing.

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**Author:** ![inkleberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f17d59/32.png) [@inkleberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/inkleberry)\
**Post date:** [June 12, 2005, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inkleberry/307932/3 "2005-06-12T05:37:47Z")

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Oh, and his peeing is working out just fine. Except when he hits himself in the face. He gets mad. We laugh. He doesn’t take kindly to that.

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**Author:** ![Large\_Marge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/50afbb/32.png) [@Large\_Marge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Large_Marge)\
**Post date:** [June 12, 2005, 9:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inkleberry/307932/4 "2005-06-12T09:42:59Z")

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> [@inkleberry](#):
>
> There is still, as always, the question of “poop or just farts?” Speaking of which, there was an unfortunate car incident with a blowout diaper and a pair of shorts recently, in which I horrifiedly discovered him and the car seat covered in crap and _he was licking some off his fingers_, while in the mall parking lot.

Inkleberry, you should write a book about motherhood – an Erma Bombeck-like story about the joys of child-rearing. Your posts on the matter always make me laugh out loud.

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**Author:** ![lorene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@lorene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorene)\
**Post date:** [June 12, 2005, 10:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inkleberry/307932/5 "2005-06-12T10:42:16Z")

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Wait until **Tink** starts crawling. Then you can play the always-exciting game of _What the Hell Did You Just Put in Your Mouth_ . I think my kid has bionic vision, because he seems to find things on the floor that are very much invisible to the naked eye. And all of them go directly into his mouth. The other day, I was changing his diaper and there was a sparkly butterfly sticker which had evidently done the rounds and come out the other end.

As for the poop, do you also get to utter the memorable requests at every diaper change, “Please don’t touch the poop” and/or “Please don’t put your feet in the poop”? Parenthood is full of things I never thought I’d have occasion to say.

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**Author:** ![DrLoveGun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@DrLoveGun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrLoveGun)\
**Post date:** [June 12, 2005, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inkleberry/307932/6 "2005-06-12T14:38:56Z")

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> [@lorene](#):
>
> As for the poop, do you also get to utter the memorable requests at every diaper change, “Please don’t touch the poop” and/or “Please don’t put your feet in the poop”? Parenthood is full of things I never thought I’d have occasion to say.

Unfortunately, I’m not always fast enough with the please don’ts, so I usually end up with “Now why did you stick your foot in there?”. I will learn one of these days.

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**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\
**Post date:** [June 12, 2005, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inkleberry/307932/7 "2005-06-12T15:17:51Z")

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Not really an IMHO-type thread. It starts with a question, but I think it turned into more of an update on a previous thread. Moving this from IMHO to MPSIMS.

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**Author:** ![Batsinma\_Belfry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ea5d25/32.png) [@Batsinma\_Belfry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Batsinma_Belfry)\
**Post date:** [June 12, 2005, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inkleberry/307932/8 "2005-06-12T15:43:22Z")

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Wait until he learns to fingerpaint the walls and TV screen with his poop. And smeared poop dries fast, so removal of the poop, involves scraping with your fingernails.

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**Author:** ![Elza\_B](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Elza\_B](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elza_B)\
**Post date:** [June 12, 2005, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inkleberry/307932/9 "2005-06-12T16:22:36Z")

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> [@inkleberry](#):
>
> That is the current State of the Union of Tinkleberry. I will now stop boring you with information I find cute but most probably find annoying or mind-numbing.

Will you give me Parenthood Lessons? Seriously. I want to be just like you as a mom.

E.

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**Author:** ![inkleberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f17d59/32.png) [@inkleberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/inkleberry)\
**Post date:** [June 13, 2005, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inkleberry/307932/10 "2005-06-13T02:27:05Z")

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> [@Large Marge](#):
>
> Inkleberry, you should write a book about motherhood – an Erma Bombeck-like story about the joys of child-rearing. Your posts on the matter always make me laugh out loud.

Erma Bombeck?! Oh god, you have just put the final coffin nail in my previous punk-rock street cred. My inner 14 year old is wilting with shame.

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**Author:** ![inkleberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f17d59/32.png) [@inkleberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/inkleberry)\
**Post date:** [June 13, 2005, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inkleberry/307932/11 "2005-06-13T02:32:30Z")

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> [@Elza B](#):
>
> Will you give me Parenthood Lessons? Seriously. I want to be just like you as a mom.
> 
> E.

Awwwww…

But do realize I _hate_ being a stay-at-home mom, can’t tell you the joy I feel about the possibility of going back to work, and tonight the kid fell asleep before I could give him his solid food dinner.

Also, I am secretly awaiting the day when Tink craps on his Daddy in the shower.

I’m a terrible human being.\*

- Do keep in mind though that I am cranky and exhausted today, having been up til 4 am trying to break up a fight/drunken gathering of my Indian Gangsta teen neighbor from downstairs, which occurred in the parking lot directly below our windows. If it happens again tonight, vengence shall be mine- and they will be meeting the business end of a water balloon filled with a mixture of pee and Mrs. Butterworth’s.

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**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\
**Post date:** [June 13, 2005, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inkleberry/307932/12 "2005-06-13T03:10:23Z")

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> [@inkleberry](#):
>
> If it happens again tonight, vengence shall be mine- and they will be meeting the business end of a water balloon filled with a mixture of pee and Mrs. Butterworth’s.

I bet I know where you could get some poop to put in there…

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**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\
**Post date:** [June 13, 2005, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inkleberry/307932/13 "2005-06-13T03:40:01Z")

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Glad to know that the recent insanity had a cause (teeth).  
My son had a blow out at Disneyworld that was sooo bad (second one of the day-so no spare outfit)…we ended up having to buy him a whole new outfit, right there, right then.

Mommy and Daddy’s budget hadn’t planned on a $50 dollar 2T short set…

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**Author:** ![inkleberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f17d59/32.png) [@inkleberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/inkleberry)\
**Post date:** [June 13, 2005, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inkleberry/307932/14 "2005-06-13T03:56:18Z")

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> [@eleanorigby](#):
>
> Glad to know that the recent insanity had a cause (teeth).  
> My son had a blow out at Disneyworld that was sooo bad (second one of the day-so no spare outfit)…we ended up having to buy him a whole new outfit, right there, right then.
> 
> Mommy and Daddy’s budget hadn’t planned on a $50 dollar 2T short set…

:smack: Of course, that _only_ happens when you are in a tourist trap. Had you been, say, at Target, it would never have happened.

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**Author:** ![Large\_Marge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/50afbb/32.png) [@Large\_Marge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Large_Marge)\
**Post date:** [June 13, 2005, 6:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inkleberry/307932/15 "2005-06-13T06:49:42Z")

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> [@inkleberry](#):
>
> Erma Bombeck?! Oh god, you have just put the final coffin nail in my previous punk-rock street cred. My inner 14 year old is wilting with shame.

Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you feel like an old housewife! I loved Erma Bombeck not because of _what_ she wrote (I don’t have kids) but because she had a writing style I connected with; and, of course, she was the queen of sarcasm.

I just think you have a writing style that people connect with; it makes them feel like they know you somehow. That’s a rare gift. Have you tried your hand at writing for money?

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**Author:** ![inkleberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f17d59/32.png) [@inkleberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/inkleberry)\
**Post date:** [June 13, 2005, 7:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inkleberry/307932/16 "2005-06-13T07:03:24Z")

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> [@Large Marge](#):
>
> Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you feel like an old housewife! I loved Erma Bombeck not because of _what_ she wrote (I don’t have kids) but because she had a writing style I connected with; and, of course, she was the queen of sarcasm.
> 
> I just think you have a writing style that people connect with; it makes them feel like they know you somehow. That’s a rare gift. Have you tried your hand at writing for money?

So this _doesn’t_ mean I have to break out a pair of pleated Mom jeans, Keds, and a t-shirt with puff paint flowers on it?

Does writing resumes for others count? No, probably not. I’m rarely amusing in professional correspondence.

[Some of my writings](http://www.livejournal.com/community/weirdjews/156677.html) have been reprinted in cyberspace and on tree paper. I was recently interviewed for an article about postpartum depression for Pregnancy magazine. If you google my birth name, you’ll find me a random quote of mine about nuclear energy archived in Spanish newpaper files. I’m also writing a book tentitively titled, “So You Got Knocked Up…” about dealing with unexpected pregnancy as an adult, because everything else on the market assumes you’ve just been waiting and trying for your lil’ spunkster and are over the moon about being pregnant. And the ones about surprise pregnancies tend to be aimed at teens, which is a VASTLY different kettle of fish. But I’m pretty lazy about my writing right now, so who knows.

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**Author:** ![35340](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/3/8baadc/32.png) [@35340](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/35340)\
**Post date:** [June 17, 2005, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inkleberry/307932/17 "2005-06-17T15:57:06Z")

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so that’s where this thread got off to!

🙂

Glad to hear you’re doing well - and good luck on getting back out. I know I sucked at the SAP thing and was glad to be back in the office a while, but now that I’ve got Wolfie’s first two years uner my belt, I figure I can handle full time SAP with the next one so long as Wolfie continues daycare part time.

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**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\
**Post date:** [June 17, 2005, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inkleberry/307932/18 "2005-06-17T18:12:12Z")

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> [@inkleberry](#):
>
> :smack: Of course, that _only_ happens when you are in a tourist trap. Had you been, say, at Target, it would never have happened.

Well now…it DID have a kick ass pic of Donald Duck on the front of it…  
“tree paper” eh? Love the phrase!

Have you ever read Annie Lamott’s **Operating Instructions**? It’s a fabulous anti-Bush (the first) baby book. Check it out, if you havent’ read it–it rings so true for ALL moms, really.
