# Inmate sues Vick for $63 billion. Alleges Al Qaeda ties. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 16, 2007, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inmate-sues-vick-for-63-billion-alleges-al-qaeda-ties/415782 "2007-08-16T03:53:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![SenorBeef](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senorbeef/32/2220_2.png) [@SenorBeef](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SenorBeef)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2007, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inmate-sues-vick-for-63-billion-alleges-al-qaeda-ties/415782/1 "2007-08-16T03:53:22Z")
And you thought dog fighting was bad enough. Oh no, this goes much deeper. > **[Fox News - Breaking News Updates | Latest News Headlines | Photos & News...](https://www.foxnews.com/)** > > Breaking News, Latest News and Current News from FOXNews.com. Breaking news and video. Latest Current News: U.S., World, Entertainment, Health, Business, Technology, Politics, Sports. ---
**Author:** ![bbs2k](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e495f1/32.png) [@bbs2k](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bbs2k)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2007, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inmate-sues-vick-for-63-billion-alleges-al-qaeda-ties/415782/2 "2007-08-16T04:28:42Z")
I am printing a copy of this right now, and then going to bed with it under my pillow. In the morning I’ll let you all know how fucked up my dreams were. ---
**Author:** ![neutron\_star](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/51bf81/32.png) [@neutron\_star](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neutron_star)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2007, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inmate-sues-vick-for-63-billion-alleges-al-qaeda-ties/415782/3 "2007-08-16T05:21:03Z")
That’s actually “$63,000,000,000 billion,” or 63 billion billion dollars, as named in the suit. A much more hilarious read, though, is a prisoner civil rights suit filed last year by the same guy, the defendant list for which is a stunning 57 pages long ([PDF here](http://www.citypaper.net/articles/2006-04-13/NC_FP_Lawsuit.pdf)), and lists hundreds of entities, non-entities, and… uh… time periods that have wronged him. Among them: **BENEDICT XVI** _POPE_ **CLEO** _MISS_ **[WWW.ACCUWEATHER.COM](http://WWW.ACCUWEATHER.COM)** **JOHN DEERE** _TRACTORS_ **GAMBINO** _CRIME FAMILY_ **NUCLEAR POWER PLANT** **THE SALVATION ARMY** **MAGNA CARTA** **MEDIEVAL TIMES** **MEALS ON WHEELS** **LINCOLN MEMORIAL** **MT. RUSHMORE** **VARIOUS BUDDHIST MONKS** **MEIN KAMPF** **THE DA VINCI CODE** **HOLOCAUST SURVIVORS** **PHILADELPHIA EAGLES** _2005 ROSTER, INCLUDING DONOVAN MCNABB_ **MING DYNASTY** **GANGS IN HONG KONG** **MERRIAM WEBSTERS DICTIONARY 10TH EDITION** Pages and pages and pages of this. It’s the funniest thing I’ve read in ages. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2007, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inmate-sues-vick-for-63-billion-alleges-al-qaeda-ties/415782/4 "2007-08-16T05:34:15Z")
[Dr. Evil] “I demand…1 billion, gagillion, fafillion, shabolubalu million illion yillion…yen.” [/Dr. Evil] ---
**Author:** ![RandMcnally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2007, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inmate-sues-vick-for-63-billion-alleges-al-qaeda-ties/415782/5 "2007-08-16T05:35:23Z")
I’m just happy to know that I’m not the only one the Magna Carta has screwed over. ---
**Author:** ![bbs2k](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e495f1/32.png) [@bbs2k](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bbs2k)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2007, 6:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inmate-sues-vick-for-63-billion-alleges-al-qaeda-ties/415782/6 "2007-08-16T06:54:09Z")
[QUOTE=RandMcnally] I’m just happy to know that I’m not the only one the Magna Carta has screwed over. [/QUOTE] Personally, I was expecting the Spanish Inquisition to make the list. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2007, 7:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inmate-sues-vick-for-63-billion-alleges-al-qaeda-ties/415782/7 "2007-08-16T07:05:24Z")
[QUOTE=bigbabysweets2000] Personally, I was expecting the Spanish Inquisition to make the list. [/QUOTE] Ooh, me! Me! NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![brendon\_small](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/brendon_small/32/17101_2.png) [@brendon\_small](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brendon_small)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2007, 7:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inmate-sues-vick-for-63-billion-alleges-al-qaeda-ties/415782/8 "2007-08-16T07:16:15Z")
I love the very end of the PDF linked from the news article. “Vick has to stop physically hurting my feelings and dashing my hopes.” I mean, physically hurting the guy’s feelings is one thing, but dashing his hopes is out of line. Brendon Small ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2007, 8:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inmate-sues-vick-for-63-billion-alleges-al-qaeda-ties/415782/9 "2007-08-16T08:27:01Z")
Oh that we could get money from athletes who dash our hopes. ---
**Author:** ![MHaye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/bbe5ce/32.png) [@MHaye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MHaye)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2007, 12:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inmate-sues-vick-for-63-billion-alleges-al-qaeda-ties/415782/10 "2007-08-16T12:19:13Z")
I only got a third of the way through. I think my favourite was :- > [@](#): > > **JAMES HOFFA** > _PRESIDENT INTERNATIONAL > BROTHERHOOD OF TEAMSTERS_ I was under the impression that he’d given that post up, being as how he’s been missing for over 30 years now. Or does the plaintiff know something no-one else does? ---
**Author:** ![Sean\_Factotum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Sean\_Factotum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sean_Factotum)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2007, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inmate-sues-vick-for-63-billion-alleges-al-qaeda-ties/415782/11 "2007-08-16T12:29:38Z")
[QUOTE=MHaye] I only got a third of the way through. I think my favourite was :-I was under the impression that he’d given that post up, being as how he’s been missing for over 30 years now. Or does the plaintiff know something no-one else does? [/QUOTE] Are you kidding? This guy knows things that nobody _wants_ to know. ---
**Author:** ![neutron\_star](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/51bf81/32.png) [@neutron\_star](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neutron_star)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2007, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inmate-sues-vick-for-63-billion-alleges-al-qaeda-ties/415782/12 "2007-08-16T12:32:12Z")
He’s probably referring to James P. Hoffa, Jimmy’s only son, and president of the Teamsters since 1999. Then again, he also names George Orwell, Nostradamus, and the Roman Empire in his suit, so who knows. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Sarahfeena](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sarahfeena/32/519_2.png) [@Sarahfeena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sarahfeena)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2007, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inmate-sues-vick-for-63-billion-alleges-al-qaeda-ties/415782/13 "2007-08-16T12:42:54Z")
[QUOTE=TokyoPlayer] Oh that we could get money from athletes who dash our hopes. [/QUOTE] I’m a Cubs fan…I’m sure they owe me at LEAST 63 billion by now. ---
**Author:** ![fachverwirrt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/94ad74/32.png) [@fachverwirrt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fachverwirrt)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2007, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inmate-sues-vick-for-63-billion-alleges-al-qaeda-ties/415782/14 "2007-08-16T12:48:37Z")
He sued Zeus. Apparently Zeus violated his civil rights. Not to mention the Virgin Mary and the Holy Grail. ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2007, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inmate-sues-vick-for-63-billion-alleges-al-qaeda-ties/415782/15 "2007-08-16T15:51:51Z")
I love that he’s suing for use of his copywrited, personal name. That is awesome. ---
**Author:** ![saoirse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@saoirse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saoirse)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2007, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inmate-sues-vick-for-63-billion-alleges-al-qaeda-ties/415782/16 "2007-08-16T16:10:51Z")
[QUOTE=Sarahfeena] I’m a Cubs fan…I’m sure they owe me at LEAST 63 billion by now. [/QUOTE] But you’d have to take into account contributory negligence. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2007, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inmate-sues-vick-for-63-billion-alleges-al-qaeda-ties/415782/17 "2007-08-16T16:12:18Z")
**HOLOCAUST SURVIVORS** Seriously! Those selfish assholes living totally fucked over his chance at that promotion last year. Here’s my question: how can he be anti Mein Kampf, but also anti Holocaust Survivors? Maybe he thinks Mein Kampf didn’t go far enough? **MERRIAM WEBSTERS DICTIONARY 10TH EDITION** Yeah, the 9th edition is cool, but that fucking 10th edition is just \*awful. \* I mean, when you look up idiot, it’s got this guy’s picture and if that isn’t a personal affront, I don’t know what is. ---
**Author:** ![Sarahfeena](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sarahfeena/32/519_2.png) [@Sarahfeena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sarahfeena)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2007, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inmate-sues-vick-for-63-billion-alleges-al-qaeda-ties/415782/18 "2007-08-16T16:21:36Z")
[QUOTE=saoirse] But you’d have to take into account contributory negligence. [/QUOTE] An excellent point. I have always thought that the Cubs fans’ anthem should be that old Joan Jett song “I Hate Myself for Loving You.” ---
**Author:** ![Gangster\_Octopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a8b319/32.png) [@Gangster\_Octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gangster_Octopus)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2007, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inmate-sues-vick-for-63-billion-alleges-al-qaeda-ties/415782/19 "2007-08-16T16:27:27Z")
You guys laugh, but if manages to settle with Vick for just (1/10)^10 of 1% of that, he’ll make a cool $63,000,000. ---
**Author:** ![drm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a88e57/32.png) [@drm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drm)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2007, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inmate-sues-vick-for-63-billion-alleges-al-qaeda-ties/415782/20 "2007-08-16T17:20:31Z")
…reminds me of the Married with Children episode where someone in the Bundy clan gets in an accident with a Mercedes owner (and naturally, his car) and the owner proceeds to sue the Bundys as it was their fault. The Bundy’s countersued for 1 gillion dollars. Such a great show… I love how he wrote out the filing against vick by hand. Also, he seems to have copyrighted his name. Great stuff. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inmate-sues-vick-for-63-billion-alleges-al-qaeda-ties/415782.md?page=2)