# Innocent phrases that sound dirty **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 8, 2004, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/innocent-phrases-that-sound-dirty/268152 "2004-10-08T03:29:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Blalron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@Blalron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blalron)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2004, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/innocent-phrases-that-sound-dirty/268152/1 "2004-10-08T03:29:14Z")
“And then I sucked it out with a straw” ---
**Author:** ![Mercury](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e95f7d/32.png) [@Mercury](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mercury)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2004, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/innocent-phrases-that-sound-dirty/268152/2 "2004-10-08T03:56:18Z")
We often use “stopcock grease” and “round bottoms” in our lab. Tee-hee. ---
**Author:** ![Keapon\_Laffin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e274bd/32.png) [@Keapon\_Laffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Keapon_Laffin)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2004, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/innocent-phrases-that-sound-dirty/268152/3 "2004-10-08T03:59:05Z")
Grandma’s Chicken Salad… ---
**Author:** ![fishbicycle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aeb1de/32.png) [@fishbicycle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fishbicycle)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2004, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/innocent-phrases-that-sound-dirty/268152/4 "2004-10-08T04:27:26Z")
“Yeah? Well your sister is a thespian.” I’m not sure whether it’s a fact or a legend that a very long time ago, a politician used that description of his opponent’s sibling to turn the people against him, counting on the fact that they weren’t educated enough to know the difference. ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2004, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/innocent-phrases-that-sound-dirty/268152/5 "2004-10-08T04:57:14Z")
> [@fishbicycle](#): > > “Yeah? Well your sister is a thespian.” > > I’m not sure whether it’s a fact or a legend that a very long time ago, a politician used that description of his opponent’s sibling to turn the people against him, counting on the fact that they weren’t educated enough to know the difference. [This](http://timblair.spleenville.com/archives/005443.php) is one of several pages that name former Senator George Smathers (D-Florida) as the “slanderer” of Claude Pepper, his opponent in the 1950 Democratic primary. Yet other sites dismiss the story as “an urban legend”, while Snopes doesn’t seem to address this particular chestnut. Unless a recording of Smathers’ utterance of the fabled phrases surfaces, the matter will remain the subject of conjecture. Here are [David Letterman’s nominations](http://comedygirl2001.tripod.com/letterman10.html#dirty) in the category. ---
**Author:** ![Tony\_Montana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/278dde/32.png) [@Tony\_Montana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tony_Montana)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2004, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/innocent-phrases-that-sound-dirty/268152/6 "2004-10-08T05:00:46Z")
“call me when you get off” ---
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2004, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/innocent-phrases-that-sound-dirty/268152/7 "2004-10-08T05:19:52Z")
“I’m seasoning my bag.” (piping reference) ---
**Author:** ![frenetic\_amnesic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f08c70/32.png) [@frenetic\_amnesic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/frenetic_amnesic)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2004, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/innocent-phrases-that-sound-dirty/268152/8 "2004-10-08T05:40:15Z")
I masticate so I won’t choke! ---
**Author:** ![Keapon\_Laffin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e274bd/32.png) [@Keapon\_Laffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Keapon_Laffin)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2004, 6:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/innocent-phrases-that-sound-dirty/268152/9 "2004-10-08T06:18:14Z")
I helped my uncle jack off a horse… :eek: Oops. Capitalization mistake. Thats _Uncle Jack_… :o ---
**Author:** ![GrizzRich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7ba0ec/32.png) [@GrizzRich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrizzRich)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2004, 7:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/innocent-phrases-that-sound-dirty/268152/10 "2004-10-08T07:17:47Z")
…then loosen the petcock… ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2004, 7:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/innocent-phrases-that-sound-dirty/268152/11 "2004-10-08T07:43:49Z")
Two words: “Butt plate.” ---
**Author:** ![t-keela](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a3d4f5/32.png) [@t-keela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/t-keela)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2004, 8:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/innocent-phrases-that-sound-dirty/268152/12 "2004-10-08T08:33:22Z")
> [@Keapon Laffin](#): > > I helped my uncle jack off a horse… > :eek: > > Oops. Capitalization mistake. Thats _Uncle Jack_… > :o That sounded pretty bad **K/L** … on that, you can bet your ass. I mean …er well, not literally of course. ---
**Author:** ![Coil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Coil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coil)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2004, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/innocent-phrases-that-sound-dirty/268152/13 "2004-10-08T12:12:51Z")
Right up your alley. ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2004, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/innocent-phrases-that-sound-dirty/268152/14 "2004-10-08T12:31:57Z")
> [@Sternvogel](#): > > Here are [David Letterman’s nominations](http://comedygirl2001.tripod.com/letterman10.html#dirty) in the category. Thanks - I have been looking for that list for a while - for some reason I think that is one of Dave’s all-time best… ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2004, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/innocent-phrases-that-sound-dirty/268152/15 "2004-10-08T13:31:35Z")
Today in bayonet drill we practiced the vertical butt stroke… ---
**Author:** ![TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tellmei_mnotcrazy/32/3419_2.png) [@TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TellMeI_mNotCrazy)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2004, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/innocent-phrases-that-sound-dirty/268152/16 "2004-10-08T14:11:23Z")
> [@Keapon Laffin](#): > > Grandma’s Chicken Salad… Beaten to the punch, yet again. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![t-keela](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a3d4f5/32.png) [@t-keela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/t-keela)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2004, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/innocent-phrases-that-sound-dirty/268152/17 "2004-10-08T18:22:47Z")
Anyone here guilty of … giving the dog a bone? ---
**Author:** ![Ghanima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Ghanima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ghanima)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2004, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/innocent-phrases-that-sound-dirty/268152/18 "2004-10-08T18:26:38Z")
I had to beat him off with a stick! :o ---
**Author:** ![t-keela](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a3d4f5/32.png) [@t-keela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/t-keela)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2004, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/innocent-phrases-that-sound-dirty/268152/19 "2004-10-08T18:29:19Z")
> [@Ghanima](#): > > I had to beat him off with a stick! :o just **ouch** :smack: ---
**Author:** ![yellowval](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/919ad9/32.png) [@yellowval](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yellowval)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2004, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/innocent-phrases-that-sound-dirty/268152/20 "2004-10-08T18:30:11Z")
My favorite thing to say while playing cards: “I’m just one jack off.” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/innocent-phrases-that-sound-dirty/268152.md?page=2)