# Innocent phrases that sound dirty **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 8, 2004, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/innocent-phrases-that-sound-dirty/268152 "2004-10-08T03:29:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2004, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/innocent-phrases-that-sound-dirty/268152/41 "2004-10-09T18:13:40Z")
A friend of mine in high school got in trouble for trying to use this: “Don’t pull on that…you don’t know what it’s attached to.” for his yearbook quote. For goodness sake, it’s about brain surgery. School administrators have such dirty minds 😛 . Then there’s always “Bowling a maiden over”… (waits to see if any other American dopers will get that one.) ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2004, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/innocent-phrases-that-sound-dirty/268152/42 "2004-10-09T18:21:14Z")
One of the English (language, not lit) textbooks I teach from has a dialogue where a man explains to a florist why he’s buying so many roses. It’s his anniversary, and his wife is still mad at him about what he did the previous year. “I gave her a hammer.” ---
**Author:** ![SteveG1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2004, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/innocent-phrases-that-sound-dirty/268152/43 "2004-10-09T18:39:46Z")
Well, my mind is in the gutter. “Gave her a hammer” sounds too much like wild mad sex on the dining room table 😃 ---
**Author:** ![scr4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/59ef9b/32.png) [@scr4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scr4)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2004, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/innocent-phrases-that-sound-dirty/268152/44 "2004-10-09T18:42:32Z")
Mounting a hard drive… ---
**Author:** ![pyrrthon1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/2acd7d/32.png) [@pyrrthon1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pyrrthon1)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2004, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/innocent-phrases-that-sound-dirty/268152/45 "2004-10-09T20:13:04Z")
[Ballcock assembly](http://www.dinapoli.com/dinapoliuser/images/ballcock.gif) ---
**Author:** ![Nightwatch\_Trailer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/9dc877/32.png) [@Nightwatch\_Trailer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nightwatch_Trailer)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2004, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/innocent-phrases-that-sound-dirty/268152/46 "2004-10-09T20:37:09Z")
All right - I’m the first: “Need some wood?” Highlight of last night’s debate. ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2004, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/innocent-phrases-that-sound-dirty/268152/47 "2004-10-09T21:49:19Z")
Aunt Millie’s Buns® ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2004, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/innocent-phrases-that-sound-dirty/268152/48 "2004-10-09T22:02:51Z")
If something is fairly zesty, my husband will say that “It’s got a big of wang to it.” Some of the bills we get at work are for nipples and clamps. ---
**Author:** ![t-keela](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a3d4f5/32.png) [@t-keela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/t-keela)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2004, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/innocent-phrases-that-sound-dirty/268152/49 "2004-10-09T23:42:14Z")
Let’s not forget the planet **Uranus** That is always good for a joke and smile. ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2004, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/innocent-phrases-that-sound-dirty/268152/50 "2004-10-09T23:55:54Z")
> [@Coil](#): > > Right up your alley. I’ve always thought that one was pretty dirty, but people throw it around so casually. I have a lot of trouble saying it with a straight face, myself. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2004, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/innocent-phrases-that-sound-dirty/268152/51 "2004-10-10T00:03:59Z")
“I spent the summer beating off ex-boyfriends.” Uttered by someone at the school newspaper. ---
**Author:** ![TeaElle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8491ac/32.png) [@TeaElle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TeaElle)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2004, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/innocent-phrases-that-sound-dirty/268152/52 "2004-10-10T00:35:37Z")
> [@fishbicycle](#): > > “Yeah? Well your sister is a thespian.”. If we really want innocent phrases that sound dirty, how about: “While we were at drama camp, my sister and I became thespians together.”😃 And my personal favorite, from a baby-care book, explaining that both mother and child will appreciate when rectal thermometers are coated with vaseline or KY Jelly before use: “Once well-lubricated, insertion will be much more comfortable for both parties.” :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2004, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/innocent-phrases-that-sound-dirty/268152/53 "2004-10-10T01:18:58Z")
> [@SteveG1](#): > > Well, my mind is in the gutter. “Gave her a hammer” sounds too much like wild mad sex on the dining room table 😃 As I said to one of my fellow teachers, “This guy had _better_ be using that as some sort of filthy slang, otherwise…well, what the hell kind of an anniversary gift is a _hammer_?” ---
**Author:** ![hlanelee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3bc359/32.png) [@hlanelee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hlanelee)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2004, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/innocent-phrases-that-sound-dirty/268152/54 "2004-10-10T02:24:54Z")
When I ran heavy equipment we frequently “mucked out holes in the road.” ---
**Author:** ![chaoticbear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f07891/32.png) [@chaoticbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chaoticbear)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2004, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/innocent-phrases-that-sound-dirty/268152/55 "2004-10-10T04:46:18Z")
I do a lot of reading for our quiz bowl team. “Titular” comes up a lot. I giggle. (Once, there was a question about a particularly well-endowed woman. There was an editor’s note stating that he really did mean “titular”. I giggled.) ---
**Author:** ![rjk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ed655f/32.png) [@rjk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjk)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2004, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/innocent-phrases-that-sound-dirty/268152/56 "2004-10-10T06:19:23Z")
> [@SteveG1](#): > > The British have a lot of phrases that make some of us do a double take. I got beat to the punch with “knock you up”. But apparently Brits enjoy having a fag (cigarette) after dinner too. Don’t get me started on bangers or spotted dick :eek: Just don’t offer a British girl a “fanny pack”. (:eek: again!) ---
**Author:** ![smartini](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/22d042/32.png) [@smartini](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smartini)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2004, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/innocent-phrases-that-sound-dirty/268152/57 "2004-10-10T06:28:21Z")
I broke my toe this week and went today to get those socks that have separate toes so I can wear flip flops for a few days. Putting them on I told my daughter – “Oh heck, I put two piggies in the same hole.” ---
**Author:** ![Keapon\_Laffin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e274bd/32.png) [@Keapon\_Laffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Keapon_Laffin)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2004, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/innocent-phrases-that-sound-dirty/268152/58 "2004-10-10T15:07:17Z")
If anyone’s ever played the boardgame _Settlers of Catan_, you’ll know that its a game about trading resources. After a successful trade, some people have been known to happily say, “I got wood for sheep!” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Sir\_Dirx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b77776/32.png) [@Sir\_Dirx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sir_Dirx)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2004, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/innocent-phrases-that-sound-dirty/268152/59 "2004-10-10T15:19:38Z")
In highschool, one of my friends was having fun turning _any_ normal, innocent phrase into something sexual. I was trying to stump her. As I explained to another friend: "I’ve been trying to think of a phrase that can’t be turned dirty. _I’ve been at it all day!"_ I still haven’t lived that one down. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2004, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/innocent-phrases-that-sound-dirty/268152/60 "2004-10-10T15:31:50Z")
I had a roomie who bought a new scratching post for his cat. Weeks later, he was talking about a female coworker and identified her with the phrase, “She’s the one I gave the ol’ scratchin’ post.” But I do love, “…She had the most beautiful face I’ve ever come across.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/innocent-phrases-that-sound-dirty/268152.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/innocent-phrases-that-sound-dirty/268152.md?page=4)