# Inscrutable fortune cookies **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 12, 2008, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inscrutable-fortune-cookies/476910 "2008-12-12T17:46:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![JR\_Brown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d6d6ee/32.png) [@JR\_Brown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JR_Brown)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inscrutable-fortune-cookies/476910/1 "2008-12-12T17:46:44Z")
My “Manager’s special lunch box with orange chicken” came with a fortune cookie. > [@fortune cookie](#): > > The rubber bands are heading in the right direction. 😕 I suppose they were having a very slow day at the fortune factory… ---
**Author:** ![JR\_Brown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d6d6ee/32.png) [@JR\_Brown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JR_Brown)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inscrutable-fortune-cookies/476910/2 "2008-12-12T17:54:08Z")
\But wait - IT GETS BETTER!\ Having mentioned the above to my coworkers, they shared some fortunes they have received from the same restaurant recently: > [@grad student #1's fortune](#): > > Success is going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm. > [@grad student #2's fortune](#): > > There’s a reason why you are getting ulcers. I hope the China Bowl got a BIG discount on this batch of cookies… ---
**Author:** ![SiXSwordS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/49beb7/32.png) [@SiXSwordS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SiXSwordS)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inscrutable-fortune-cookies/476910/3 "2008-12-12T17:58:38Z")
> [@](#): > > There’s a reason why you are getting ulcers. > Success is going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm. > The rubber bands are heading in the right direction. I hope these aren’t messages from the chef. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Mindfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mindfield/32/19759_2.png) [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inscrutable-fortune-cookies/476910/4 "2008-12-12T18:00:51Z")
When you get one that says, “That wasn’t chicken,” then you can start to worry. ---
**Author:** ![rhythmonly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ee59a6/32.png) [@rhythmonly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rhythmonly)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inscrutable-fortune-cookies/476910/5 "2008-12-12T18:00:51Z")
Please remember, you should always add “…in bed.” to the end of each fortune. ---
**Author:** ![MovingTarget](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/edb3f5/32.png) [@MovingTarget](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovingTarget)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inscrutable-fortune-cookies/476910/6 "2008-12-12T18:01:39Z")
I will keep eating Chinese food and getting fortune cookies untill I get my favorite fortune of all time, quoted from and episode of Rocko’s modern life from Nickolodean “Bad luck and extreme misfortune will infest your pathetic soul for all eternity.” Man I really want that fortune. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inscrutable-fortune-cookies/476910/7 "2008-12-12T18:17:16Z")
> [@](#): > > Success is going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm. This one, at least, makes sense to me. It’s basically saying try try again. ---
**Author:** ![SiXSwordS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/49beb7/32.png) [@SiXSwordS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SiXSwordS)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inscrutable-fortune-cookies/476910/8 "2008-12-12T18:39:20Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > .. It’s basically saying try try again. …in bed. ---
**Author:** ![Monks\_mama](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9f8e36/32.png) [@Monks\_mama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monks_mama)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inscrutable-fortune-cookies/476910/9 "2008-12-12T18:49:51Z")
The best one I ever got simply said “don’t panic” Words to live by ---
**Author:** ![bellybean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9d8465/32.png) [@bellybean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bellybean)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inscrutable-fortune-cookies/476910/10 "2008-12-12T19:32:53Z")
My favourite is, “You like Chinese food.” Cracked me up. ---
**Author:** ![Arglefraster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3bc359/32.png) [@Arglefraster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arglefraster)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inscrutable-fortune-cookies/476910/11 "2008-12-12T19:34:59Z")
I got one once that said “I think you’re pretty.” Just a wee bit creepy. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inscrutable-fortune-cookies/476910/12 "2008-12-12T20:56:04Z")
More pineapple, please. ---
**Author:** ![Katriona](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/katriona/32/113_2.png) [@Katriona](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Katriona)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inscrutable-fortune-cookies/476910/13 "2008-12-12T20:59:16Z")
> [@rhythmonly](#): > > Please remember, you should always add “…in bed.” to the end of each fortune. My boss got tired of that and started adding, “…if you weren’t such an asshole” to the end. It gets interesting sometimes! ---
**Author:** ![EpicNonsense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c37758/32.png) [@EpicNonsense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EpicNonsense)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inscrutable-fortune-cookies/476910/14 "2008-12-12T21:06:12Z")
“A good position and a comfortable salary will be yours”… in bed. I think this one was meant for Rob Schneider. or “A good position and a comfortable salary will be yours”… if you weren’t such an asshole. Definitely for me. ---
**Author:** ![Hi\_Neighbor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hi_neighbor/32/494_2.png) [@Hi\_Neighbor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hi_Neighbor)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inscrutable-fortune-cookies/476910/15 "2008-12-12T21:15:30Z")
I remember getting one that said: “Sssssoorrrryyy ddduupppllleeeexxx maaccchiinnee ooonnn.” I showed it to my friend, and she never gave it back. It was the most unique fortune I had ever received. Damn bitch. ---
**Author:** ![ENugent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/4af34b/32.png) [@ENugent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ENugent)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inscrutable-fortune-cookies/476910/16 "2008-12-12T23:55:55Z")
I once saw, “Life is not as serious as it seems to the waiter.” Rather than “in bed,” my husband and I have taken to adding “with a laser” to the end of fortune cookies.