# Inside voice..outside voice **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 15, 2000, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inside-voice-outside-voice/16045 "2000-04-15T18:14:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![aha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eada6e/32.png) [@aha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aha)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2000, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inside-voice-outside-voice/16045/1 "2000-04-15T18:14:00Z")
Wife: “aha could you please unload those groceries from the car?” My inside voice: “Would you please shut the fuck up and leave me alone? I am writing a topic for the Straightdope people, shittt can’t I do \* anything!?” \* My outside voice: Oooook honnney! I will be right there! * * * One of the few to be personally welcomed to this board by Ed Zotti. Yours truly, aha ---
**Author:** ![Squee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ba9def/32.png) [@Squee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Squee)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2000, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inside-voice-outside-voice/16045/2 "2000-04-15T18:19:00Z")
Outside voice: Aha, don’t worry. I’m sure it’s very common. Inside voice: This guy is a nutjob. Make a hasty exit… Outside voice: Good topic! Keep up the good work! 🙂 * * * “Penises don’t belong in the mouth, girls and boys. You’ve got the wrong hole there. Just like you wouldn’t shove pizza up your nose.” -From the **Brother Jed** flyer- ---
**Author:** ![Chloe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/839c29/32.png) [@Chloe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chloe)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2000, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inside-voice-outside-voice/16045/3 "2000-04-15T18:22:00Z")
wife’s inside voice: “Damn lazy piece of shit, playing on the computer again. The least you could do is unload the freakin groceries from the freakin car…” wife’s outside voice: “aha, will you please unload the groceries for the car?” hmmmm… ---
**Author:** ![BigRoryG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f07891/32.png) [@BigRoryG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigRoryG)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2000, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inside-voice-outside-voice/16045/4 "2000-04-15T19:34:00Z")
Outside Voice: Okay children, we’re inside now, we must use our inside voices. Inside Voice: Shut the f\*\*k up, All of you, before I eat you. - I work in childcare…\* * * * “My drinking team has a Rugby problem.” _This sig line has been brought to you by the creative mind of Wally_ If you need a graphic solution, [http:\ alk.to\Piglet](http://http:%5C%09alk.to%5CPiglet) ---
**Author:** ![Flutterby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Flutterby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flutterby)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2000, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inside-voice-outside-voice/16045/5 "2000-04-15T19:41:00Z")
Outside Voice: Yes… uh huh… okay… Inside voice: Why don’t you mind your f\*cking business? I’ll do what I want I don’t really give a damn what you think. I’m a teenager what can I say? At least I don’t give my inside voice reign over what I say to my parents… * * * Life is an exotic and sonorous nightmare, in which reason does not always play a role… - Exerpted from V:tM ```auto Dreams die hard and we hold them in our hands long after they have turned to dust. - Bowen in Dragonheart ``` Human beings can always be relied upon to assert, with vigor, their god-given right to be stupid. - Seize the Night by Dean Koontz ```auto You know why people call something impossible? Because it hasn't happened yet. - Robin Williams in What Dreams May Come ``` ---
**Author:** ![aha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eada6e/32.png) [@aha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aha)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2000, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inside-voice-outside-voice/16045/6 "2000-04-15T19:46:00Z")
Outside voice: TopazAntares, I can tell by the posts that you have posted so far that you are a nice kid!! Inside voice: \* I wish to heck TopazAntares would just choose one sig line and get rid of the rest. \* * * * One of the few to be personally welcomed to this board by Ed Zotti. Yours truly, aha ---
**Author:** ![Flutterby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Flutterby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flutterby)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2000, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inside-voice-outside-voice/16045/7 "2000-04-15T20:02:00Z")
Outside voice: Is this batter? Inside voice: Is it my fault I like to collect quotes and had trouble settling on just one?.. I’m going to be changing them regularily then since I have so many I like. * * * Never run from anything immortal, it attracts their attention. ---
**Author:** ![Satan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Satan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satan)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2000, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inside-voice-outside-voice/16045/8 "2000-04-15T21:25:00Z")
Inside Voice: So, are you into other girls? Ever had a threesome? Outside Voice: So, are you into other girls? Ever had a threesome? _Howard Stern_ * * * Yer pal, Satan [http://www.raleighmusic.com/board/Images/devil.gif](http://www.raleighmusic.com/board/Images/devil.gif) _TIME ELAPSED SINCE I QUIT SMOKING: Six days, 19 hours, 22 minutes and 22 seconds. 272 cigarettes not smoked, saving $34.03. Life saved: 22 hours, 40 minutes._ ---
**Author:** ![saucy\_potato](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/edb3f5/32.png) [@saucy\_potato](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saucy_potato)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2000, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inside-voice-outside-voice/16045/9 "2000-04-15T22:24:00Z")
Customer: Can you (fill in annoying request accompanied by annoying voice)? Outside Voice: Sure! That’s no problem at all. Here, let me help you with that! :😀: Inside Voice: What the f#_@?!? What the Hell is that?!? Stupid f#_@ing bitch! That’s not my job f#\*@stick!! I’m really a nice person. I swear. * * * _That was a well-plotted piece of non-claptrap that never made me want to retch._ ---
**Author:** ![aseymayo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a88e57/32.png) [@aseymayo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aseymayo)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2000, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inside-voice-outside-voice/16045/10 "2000-04-15T22:56:00Z")
Outside voice: Well, I’m going to think seriously and deeply about what you’ve all said so far, so I can come up with a really meaningful response. Inside voice: _La la la la la la …_ ---
**Author:** ![WallyM7](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5e925/32.png) [@WallyM7](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WallyM7)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2000, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inside-voice-outside-voice/16045/11 "2000-04-15T23:23:00Z")
Wife: Did you take your medicine this morning? Inner voice: I’m not a baby, for crying out loud! Outer voice: I’m not a baby, for crying out loud! Wife: You didn’t answer my question. Outer voice: No, I forgot, honey. Inner voice: Bitch. ---
**Author:** ![Andy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/aeb1de/32.png) [@Andy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Andy)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2000, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inside-voice-outside-voice/16045/12 "2000-04-16T01:29:00Z")
G/F : ‘I don’t know about tonight, i’m broke and have work tomorrow don’t feel so good’ Outer: ‘That’s OK, I understand, we’ll do something tomorrow night’ Inner: ‘This is not a spontaneous decision, is it? Why the fuck couldn’t you have told me earlier before I told everyone else that I was going out with you and that they should leave me out of their plans? Now I have to walkj to the store and buy lots of bere and get shit-faced on my own thanks to you.’ Cool thread 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Andy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/aeb1de/32.png) [@Andy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Andy)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2000, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inside-voice-outside-voice/16045/13 "2000-04-16T01:30:00Z")
I kan’t spill wenn im madd. ---
**Author:** ![Sterra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8c91f0/32.png) [@Sterra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sterra)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2000, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inside-voice-outside-voice/16045/14 "2000-04-16T02:28:00Z")
Outer: Yes Inner: What? ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2000, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inside-voice-outside-voice/16045/15 "2000-04-16T02:33:00Z")
My inner voice: I want ice cream. My outer voice: Honey, would you like some ice cream? Husband’s outer voice: Yeah! Sounds great! My outer voice: Well, while you’re up, could you get some for me, too? Husband’s inner voice: F\*\*\*. She gets me with that every damn time. When am I gonna learn… * * * Cristi, Slayer of Peeps I made my husband join a bridge club. He jumps next Tuesday. (title & sig courtesy of UncleBeer and WallyM7!) ---
**Author:** ![Ayesha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c0e974/32.png) [@Ayesha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ayesha)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2000, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inside-voice-outside-voice/16045/16 "2000-04-16T02:50:00Z")
outside voice “Wally’s wife is gonna kill him for posting that” inside voice “hmmm, if that’s what Lion’s inside voice is saying when I talk to him, I’ll have to kill him” * * * “Ayesha, Who can bend minds with her spoon” WallyM7 Voted SDMB Biggest Flirt (Female) and Least Shy (No Mom, I have no idea why they think that) ---
**Author:** ![aha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eada6e/32.png) [@aha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aha)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2000, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inside-voice-outside-voice/16045/17 "2000-04-16T02:57:00Z")
Wally…wait till your wife catches you thinking out loud…your ass will be grass man. * * * One of the few to be personally welcomed to this board by Ed Zotti. Yours truly, aha ---
**Author:** ![Angkins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/fbc32d/32.png) [@Angkins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angkins)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2000, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inside-voice-outside-voice/16045/18 "2000-04-16T02:59:00Z")
inside voice: mmmm… icecream outside voice: Would you like some ice cream? inside voice: Shit! I’m home alone…d’uh outside voice: Come here, Maggie and Ginger (my dogs) you guys want some ice cream? outside voice (theirs): WOOF! ---
**Author:** ![WallyM7](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5e925/32.png) [@WallyM7](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WallyM7)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2000, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inside-voice-outside-voice/16045/19 "2000-04-16T03:14:00Z")
She don’t scare me, aha. Earlier, she was on her hands and knees, begging and pleading with me. She said: “Honey, please come out from under the bed.” ---
**Author:** ![Ayesha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c0e974/32.png) [@Ayesha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ayesha)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2000, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inside-voice-outside-voice/16045/20 "2000-04-16T03:21:00Z")
ROFLMAO ! * * * “Ayesha, Who can bend minds with her spoon” WallyM7 Voted SDMB Biggest Flirt (Female) and Least Shy (No Mom, I have no idea why they think that) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inside-voice-outside-voice/16045.md?page=2)