# Inside voice..outside voice **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 15, 2000, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inside-voice-outside-voice/16045 "2000-04-15T18:14:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2000, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inside-voice-outside-voice/16045/21 "2000-04-16T15:40:00Z")
Outside voice: (none) Inside: Bring in the bags. ---
**Author:** ![Gilligan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Gilligan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gilligan)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2000, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inside-voice-outside-voice/16045/22 "2000-04-16T16:50:00Z")
Boss’s outside voice: How are you coming along on that project? Boss’s inside voice: Do you ever do _any_ work? My outside voice: Almost done, I should have everything to you in a couple days. My inside voice: Better stop posting for a while, almost got caught that time. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2000, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inside-voice-outside-voice/16045/23 "2000-04-16T16:55:00Z")
Ex-husband: While you’re at the courthouse, can you get a copy of the decree for me? Inside voice: Are you serious? Outside voice: Get it yourself, you lazy bastard, you only work two blocks away. ---
**Author:** ![Osip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/4491bb/32.png) [@Osip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Osip)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2000, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inside-voice-outside-voice/16045/24 "2000-04-17T05:18:00Z")
Customer : “Can you make a key to my car I lost mine?” Outer Voice:" Sure would be glad to." Inner Voice" what kinda F\*\*king moron only has one key?" Cutsomer:" Why charge so much to unlock my car. It only took you 30 seconds?" Outer voice:" well, I have been doing this for 10 years." Inner voice: “Stinking carpet munching sniveling cunt fungus, have you seen what you husband the plumber charges for a clogged sink?” _sigh_ ok myabe I am a bit bitter. side note: Wally glad you back and healthy. I know now not to read your posts and drink at the same time. I do so hate to waste good alcohol by laughing so damn hard it comes out my nose. but hey my sinus problem has cleared!! * * * Oh your from Wales?? Do you know a fella named Jonah?? He used to live in whales for a while. ---
**Author:** ![casdave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c6cbf5/32.png) [@casdave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/casdave)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2000, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inside-voice-outside-voice/16045/25 "2000-04-16T18:56:00Z")
Outside voice - Certainly sir, I’ll completely redesign the entire electrical system and take out the one I’ve just installed for you-no problemo. Inside voice-Geez why can’t this putz make his mind up? Accountants inner voice- Rack em up!! ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2000, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inside-voice-outside-voice/16045/26 "2000-04-17T00:13:00Z")
I thought this was all about hearing voices inside, which would have made it all even for all of us. You know, that hearing voices kinda a thing…aka SonofSam ---
**Author:** ![Anti\_Pro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Anti\_Pro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anti_Pro)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2000, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inside-voice-outside-voice/16045/27 "2000-04-17T02:45:00Z")
handy, I guess Son O’ Sam (makes him sound kinda Irish, doesn’t it? 🙂 ) couldn’t tell the inside from the outside! aseymayo: I just snorted coke on the key pad again, but \* this time it was because of you! \* ‘la la la’ on the inside! 😃 Last night I tore my older son’s room to shreds trying to fix something, as my younger son prepared to go to bed in this same messy room, he comments on the mess I left: \*\* inside: \*\* ‘ya know, you COULD HAVE stopped playing video games and helped, so shut up!’ \*\* outside: \*\* “I’m sorry things are so hectic in here.” - Oh, the hypocrisy of it all!! \* * * * “I never saw so many words compressed into so small an idea.” Abraham Lincoln ---
**Author:** ![DAYIUZ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DAYIUZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DAYIUZ)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2000, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inside-voice-outside-voice/16045/28 "2000-04-17T04:28:00Z")
As my girlfriend sings along with every goddamn song there is, whether its the radio or a TV commercial… outer voice: “Babe, could you please stop singing, I really like this song.” inner voice: “JESUS!! If that band wanted your voice in their song, they would have asked for you to sing.” GFriend outer voice: “But its how I express myself.” GFriend inner voice: “Flowers and Kittens and Children with Mittins…lalalala…” my outer voice: “Ok, but do you need to express yourself with the Mr. Clean theme song?” my inner voice: “How pathetic is that? You can’t express yourself any other way than by mimicing other peoples songs?” GFriend outer voice: “But, but…nevermind.” GFriend outer voice: “Stupid guy, he’ll never understand. No sex for him.” My outer voice: “I’m sorry, its just annoying.” my inner voice: “You don’t even know most of the words and you can’t sing anyway!! Hmmm, this probally means no lovin tonight.” ::::10 minutes later::::: GFriends outer voice: “Mr. Clean, Mr Clean…” * * * Thats the truth and anyone who has heard otherwise has been misinformed. ---
**Author:** ![neuro-trash\_grrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3ab097/32.png) [@neuro-trash\_grrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neuro-trash_grrrl)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2000, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inside-voice-outside-voice/16045/29 "2000-04-17T04:43:00Z")
(telephone rings) Outer voice: Hello? Inner voice: This had fucking well better not be a telemarketer. Caller: Hello, is Christienne there? Outer voice: Speaking… Inner voice: No. She died. Got run over by a truck. Caller: I have your application for a platinum Visa card with 8.9% APR on the desk in front of me, and I just need to verify some information. You’re current address is (gives address)? Outer voice: I’m sorry, I’m not interested. Inner voice: But the state Attorney General’s office will be, if you keep calling this number! Caller: Are you sure? We are offering… (lengthy spiel) Inner voice: Why in the hemmorhaging buttfuck are you still listening to this dipshit? Hang up, dammit! Outer voice: No, I’m not at all interested. Inner voice: Are you listening to me? Dis-conn-ect! Can you say that? Sure you can! Caller: All right then, good-bye. Outer voice: Good-bye. Inner voice: Fuck you. (Hangs up) Outer voice: Well, I guess we showed them, didn’t we? Inner voice: Oh, shut up. * * * Heck is where you go when you don’t believe in Gosh. ---
**Author:** ![moriah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b2d939/32.png) [@moriah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moriah)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2000, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inside-voice-outside-voice/16045/30 "2000-04-17T05:34:00Z")
Outer voice: Of course, I have no problem with that. Inner voice: You imposing jerk, do it yourself. Inner voice #2: Oh shit, get me out of here! Inner voice #3: I’ll take over, I’ve dealt with this type before. Inner voice #1: Oh, no you don’t. The last time we hardly were able to hide the blood stains. Inner voice #2: Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Inner voice #3: I’m coming out! Inner voice #4: Oh no you don’t, I’m going to take over. I’m a magical astronaut, after all. Inner voice #2: Oh my God, I can’t deal with this now. I’m going… Outer voice: There. All done. Can I have a lollipop? * * * Peace. ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2000, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inside-voice-outside-voice/16045/31 "2000-04-17T15:38:00Z")
Anti Pro, my father’s name is Sam, I’m actually Son of Sam. Being deaf, I don’t hear outside voices [well, not clearly], but inside voices come in loud & clear. But then, it’s only insanity if you change to that channel. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inside-voice-outside-voice/16045.md?page=1)