# insincere things you say to kids who have a minor injury **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 13, 2003, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/insincere-things-you-say-to-kids-who-have-a-minor-injury/148319 "2003-01-13T16:58:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![aha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eada6e/32.png) [@aha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aha)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2003, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/insincere-things-you-say-to-kids-who-have-a-minor-injury/148319/1 "2003-01-13T16:58:20Z")
awwww…I’ve had worse places on my eyeball. ---
**Author:** ![johnboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e47c2d/32.png) [@johnboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnboy)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2003, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/insincere-things-you-say-to-kids-who-have-a-minor-injury/148319/2 "2003-01-13T17:23:36Z")
How about, “That 12-inch gash across your face makes you look kinda’ cool!” ---
**Author:** ![SandyHook](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dec6dc/32.png) [@SandyHook](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SandyHook)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2003, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/insincere-things-you-say-to-kids-who-have-a-minor-injury/148319/3 "2003-01-13T17:29:55Z")
No matter what - scrape, cut, bruise, fever, toothache - always offer to put a bandaid on them. ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2003, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/insincere-things-you-say-to-kids-who-have-a-minor-injury/148319/4 "2003-01-13T17:31:50Z")
Whenever one of us used to get injured, my dad would say, “Are you bleeding?” If the answer was “no,” that was the end of the conversation. Of course, once in a while we WERE bleeding. Which was a great moment: “OWWW! Dad, I fell off my bike! Waaaaa!” “Are you bleeding?” (triumphant kid voice) “YES! I AM!” “Wellll… it’s too far from your heart to kill you.” Gee, thanks, dad. ---
**Author:** ![lost4life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c4cdca/32.png) [@lost4life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lost4life)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2003, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/insincere-things-you-say-to-kids-who-have-a-minor-injury/148319/5 "2003-01-13T17:52:07Z")
If it’s not serious, I’ll ask them if it hurts. If they say yes, I’ll poke the wound and say “how about that, does that hurt too?” at first their stunned, but laughing so much they forget the injury. I also say things like “Oh no, this is horrible. Life is so unfair…first World War II and now this!” Okay, so I’m not dad of the year. ---
**Author:** ![MikeG](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mikeg/32/4329_2.png) [@MikeG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MikeG)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2003, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/insincere-things-you-say-to-kids-who-have-a-minor-injury/148319/6 "2003-01-13T18:08:50Z")
Another “Most Unlikely to get Dad Of The Year” #1 most common response: > [@](#): > > Did I or did I not tell you that would happen? #2 M.C.R. > [@](#): > > Good.I saw what you did to/threw at/said to \. What did you expect to happen? [sub] DISCLAIMER: I do not condone or allow retaliatory attacks; that said, what the hell do you expect them to do when you do something like that? Say “thank you, may I have another”?[/sub] #3 M.C.R. > [@](#): > > Are you Dead? #4 M.C.R. > [@](#): > > Uh huh. Go wash that and don’t get any blood on your clothes. 😃 P.S. Of course, these are always followed up by efficient medical care and application of ice cream except where contraindicated. ---
**Author:** ![auRa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c4cdca/32.png) [@auRa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/auRa)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2003, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/insincere-things-you-say-to-kids-who-have-a-minor-injury/148319/7 "2003-01-13T18:10:31Z")
“It can’t hurt, there’s no blood.” --learned from our wonderful boy scout friends 😃 [minor hijack]We had a nurse in our old school whose sole remedies for all ailments were charcoal tablets and bandaids. “My head hurts.” “Here, have a charcoal tablet.” “Nurse, I accidentally cut myself in Home Ec class.” “Here, have a bandaid.” “Nurse, I partially decapitated myself with a rusty hacksaw.” “Here, have a bandaid and a charcoal tablet.” Sure made us feel a lot more secure. If one of the Russian nuclear power plants close to the Finnish border ever blows up, I’ll be well prepared. No radiation-related problems for me, oh no! There’s probably enough charcoal in my body by now to host a fairly large barbecue.[/minor hijack] We always have “home sickness pills” with us on scout trips. (Fluoride tablets. Our children have very healthy teeth. :))When a kid comes to us crying, we give them a home sickness pill to make it better. The psychological effect is quite impressive. We tell the kid it’s a cure and it works about 90% of the time, especially if the pill is accompanied by “Okay, now how about you help us leaders [peel potatoes/fetch water/wipe the tables…]…” ---
**Author:** ![lno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a8b319/32.png) [@lno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lno)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2003, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/insincere-things-you-say-to-kids-who-have-a-minor-injury/148319/8 "2003-01-13T18:19:48Z")
Oh, just walk it off, you whining little weasel. Well, maybe that’s _sincere_… ---
**Author:** ![Loneraven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c0e974/32.png) [@Loneraven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loneraven)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2003, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/insincere-things-you-say-to-kids-who-have-a-minor-injury/148319/9 "2003-01-13T18:25:02Z")
> [@](#): > > I also say things like “Oh no, this is horrible. Life is so unfair…first World War II and now this!” I love that. Must use… ---
**Author:** ![lauramarlane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a5b964/32.png) [@lauramarlane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lauramarlane)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2003, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/insincere-things-you-say-to-kids-who-have-a-minor-injury/148319/10 "2003-01-13T18:25:46Z")
Kid, “Mom! Cameron hit me!” Me, “Well obviously not hard enough since you’re still conscious.” Okay, don’t think I’m some kind of monster here, this was after a whole afternoon of listening to “he’s looking at me!”, “he took my lego and I had been playing with that three hours ago so I had it first!”, “he chews food funny, make him stop!” Personally, I’m amazed at my restraint! And I let them both live, too! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Danalan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/76d3ee/32.png) [@Danalan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Danalan)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2003, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/insincere-things-you-say-to-kids-who-have-a-minor-injury/148319/11 "2003-01-13T18:27:47Z")
“If that’s the worst thing that ever happens to you, you’ll be lucky.” - My Father, whenever I was injured, including two broken arms and innumerable stitches. I’ve never really thought before how insincere that is. ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2003, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/insincere-things-you-say-to-kids-who-have-a-minor-injury/148319/12 "2003-01-13T18:29:50Z")
My two favorites: Child: I hurt my finger. Daddy D\_Odds: Well, let’s cut off your hand at the wrist. Then your finger will no longer hurt. Child: I banged my elbow. Daddy D\_Odds: Don’t worry, it’ll heal by the time you’re married. Sometimes used after ‘real’ injuries too, but only after first aid to try and get a smile (or at least take their mind off of their pain and to trying to cause Daddy D\_Odds pain). ---
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2003, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/insincere-things-you-say-to-kids-who-have-a-minor-injury/148319/13 "2003-01-13T18:30:13Z")
“It’ll heal before you’re married” was one we always got as kids. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2003, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/insincere-things-you-say-to-kids-who-have-a-minor-injury/148319/14 "2003-01-13T18:34:06Z")
**Insincere things you say to kids who have a minor injury:** Pussy. ---
**Author:** ![rubes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@rubes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rubes)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2003, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/insincere-things-you-say-to-kids-who-have-a-minor-injury/148319/15 "2003-01-13T18:34:28Z")
I was in on the “It’ll heal before you’re married”, too! ---
**Author:** ![Banger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8491ac/32.png) [@Banger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Banger)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2003, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/insincere-things-you-say-to-kids-who-have-a-minor-injury/148319/16 "2003-01-13T18:49:23Z")
“Nobody likes you.” Oh wait… that’s an _insensitive_ thing that I say. ---
**Author:** ![lauramarlane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a5b964/32.png) [@lauramarlane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lauramarlane)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2003, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/insincere-things-you-say-to-kids-who-have-a-minor-injury/148319/17 "2003-01-13T18:58:54Z")
Whenever they fall on their butts I usually say “well, I’m not kissing THAT better!” That usually gets a giggle out of them. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2003, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/insincere-things-you-say-to-kids-who-have-a-minor-injury/148319/18 "2003-01-13T18:59:51Z")
“OWWW!!!” “What did you do?” “I stubbed my toe on that table!” “Well why did you do THAT? That was pretty silly thing to do.” What follows is usually me pretending to not understand that it was an accident and trying to get him to rationalize it, and him giggling hysterically telling me that I don’t understand. ---
**Author:** ![Mith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e36b37/32.png) [@Mith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mith)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2003, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/insincere-things-you-say-to-kids-who-have-a-minor-injury/148319/19 "2003-01-13T19:03:05Z")
“That oughta teach ya!” ---
**Author:** ![Mith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e36b37/32.png) [@Mith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mith)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2003, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/insincere-things-you-say-to-kids-who-have-a-minor-injury/148319/20 "2003-01-13T19:04:18Z")
“It hurts when I move” “Stop moving then” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/insincere-things-you-say-to-kids-who-have-a-minor-injury/148319.md?page=2)