# Inspired by cichlidiot...Take this,fat bashers! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 21, 2003, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inspired-by-cichlidiot-take-this-fat-bashers/150041 "2003-01-21T19:52:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Hamadryad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6de8d8/32.png) [@Hamadryad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamadryad)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inspired-by-cichlidiot-take-this-fat-bashers/150041/81 "2003-01-22T16:45:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by I\_Dig\_Bad\_Boys \* > \*\*Actually, **Hamadryad** –go here [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=158110](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=158110) > In which I apologize for EVERYTHING I’ve ever done wrong.Ever. > > IDBB \*\* Cheers! That’s the funniest thing I’ve read all day. ---
**Author:** ![DeadlyAccurate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ac91a4/32.png) [@DeadlyAccurate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeadlyAccurate)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inspired-by-cichlidiot-take-this-fat-bashers/150041/82 "2003-01-22T16:46:36Z")
I thought I was fat when I weighed 115 lb. I thought I was fat when I weighed 125 lb. I thought I was fat when I weighed 194 lbs. **Your weight has absolutely no bearing on your _perceptions_ of your weight.** I’m trying to lose weight now (to 150 lbs), because I have trouble finding clothes to wear and because of some minor health problems that I don’t want to get worse. BTW, the Nutrisystem\* site ([www.nutrisystem.com](http://www.nutrisystem.com)) has a Virtual Model that tells you what you currently look like and what you’d look like under your goal weight. You can sign up for a free membership to get access to it. \*I’m not advocating their diet system. In fact, I’m doing Atkins. But my coworker is doing Nutrisystems and showed me the virtual model. It’s pretty neat. ---
**Author:** ![fatmac98](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3ec8ea/32.png) [@fatmac98](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fatmac98)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inspired-by-cichlidiot-take-this-fat-bashers/150041/83 "2003-01-22T16:53:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jarbabyj \* > \*\*And I’ll call bullshit on this. Have you ever been to a women’s clothing store at sale time? Clearance sales. Interestingly, all that’s left is Smalls, Mediums, 34A bras, size four dresses. There’s always a glut of small sized clothes, and this is because women need larger clothes, and women who wear larger sizes what FASHIONABLE clothes. > > Try to find a size 12 pant at a clearance sale. It ain’t happening. But fashion designers aren’t getting the message. \*\* Stores are not going to sell to their largest amount of customers at clearance. Clearance is for the leftovers. But I do not think getting into an argument over this is warranted in this forum. Besides my wife wears a 12, and she’s pretty hot, so I don’t really think that a 12 is jumbo sized. YMMV ---
**Author:** ![fatmac98](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3ec8ea/32.png) [@fatmac98](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fatmac98)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inspired-by-cichlidiot-take-this-fat-bashers/150041/84 "2003-01-22T17:13:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by I\_Dig\_Bad\_Boys \* > \*\*[I don’t think I"m bitter. I just think I have strong opinions about things that happen to be colored by a childhood growing up straddling the poverty line,living next to the ‘richies’ for 20 years and never having anything.Being from the South also figures into it somewhere, I think. So no…I’m not bitter. I just have an opinion.🙂 > > \*\* Yes you are, and it seems like it is everybody else’s fault but your own. ---
**Author:** ![Kayeby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9de0a6/32.png) [@Kayeby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kayeby)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inspired-by-cichlidiot-take-this-fat-bashers/150041/85 "2003-01-22T17:14:57Z")
I don’t want to add to what appears to be the beginnings of an admittedly well deserved pile-on since there seems to be a lot of hurt behind your words, **IDBB**. But looking at this thread and the one about your “princess” in-laws, it strikes me that you always have to be The Victim. Whether it’s thin people, “princesses”, your parents, your in-laws, or “richies”, you always think _someone_ is putting you down. Even then, you would probably find that many people sympathise with you - except, as Alice so aptly stated in the other thread - you act as if you have a monopoly on pain. Furthermore, you act as if this pain entitles you to say hurtful things to others, which as you can see, quite a few people disagree with. That’s just how I perceive it. YMMV. Oh, and with regards to finding sizes in clearance, my experience has always been the opposite - that larger sizes are more readily available. At my favourite clearance store, it’s an ocean of 12s and 14s (I think that’s US 8 and 10 but I’m not sure) and finding a size 8 is like winning the lottery. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inspired-by-cichlidiot-take-this-fat-bashers/150041/86 "2003-01-22T17:20:01Z")
fatmac, my point is that they have clearance sales to get rid of things they can’t sell. So instead of getting the idea that women of a more average size (10,12,14) are shopping at their stores, they still stock to the rafters with smalls and size fours and dresses for women with no boobs. You’d think they’d look at their stockroom and say “geez…maybe there ARE more women that are a size 12 than we thought” ---
**Author:** ![lezlers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@lezlers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lezlers)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inspired-by-cichlidiot-take-this-fat-bashers/150041/87 "2003-01-22T18:33:30Z")
I’ve always noticed that at Clearence sales there’s always a bunch of 2’s and 4’s and a bunch of 12’s and 14’s actually. I’m an 8, and I usually don’t even bother. And “Richies?” Someone’s been watching _Pretty in Pink_ recently. **IDBB** , I definatly get “The Victim” vibe from you. And when people mention this, and your overall attitude, you never, ever respond. In any of your threads. So I think that you realize this too, you just don’t want to face it head on and deal with it. You come across as looking for validation for your bitterness, but I don’t think you’re going to find it here. Wrong crowd. Everyone’s got their problems. Everyone’s got their skeletons. I’ve known a lot of people who’s childhoods make yours look like you were raised in Disneyland, who are perfectly happy, well adjusted people now. It all boils down to this: what happened in the past is in the past. Some things cannot be helped. But what really matters is how you deal with those things, _that’s_ what really makes or breaks you, and _that_ is what determines the kind of person you really are. You’ve put yourself in a hole and you can either climb out of it, or you can stay there and when the rain comes you can drown, your choice. ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inspired-by-cichlidiot-take-this-fat-bashers/150041/88 "2003-01-22T18:37:30Z")
Hey! IDBB, you’re that chick from Breakfast Club aren’t you. Do you always carry this much shit in your bag? ---
**Author:** ![lezlers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@lezlers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lezlers)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inspired-by-cichlidiot-take-this-fat-bashers/150041/89 "2003-01-22T18:46:11Z")
mmmmmm sugar and potato chip sandwich… **That** oughta pack on the pounds… Oh, and **IDBB** , If you or CorvetteGuy have health insurance, it would probably cover a breast reduction. Mine was covered 5 years ago, best thing I ever did. Lost 10 lbs just from that, and looked like I lost about 30 since my clothes weren’t always hanging off 'em. ---
**Author:** ![Nocturne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/9fc348/32.png) [@Nocturne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nocturne)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inspired-by-cichlidiot-take-this-fat-bashers/150041/90 "2003-01-22T19:06:47Z")
**IDBB** … I too, come from a quite abusive household. Many descriptions of your mother and stepfather’s actions match what my mother and father did to me. Also, I am a size 12. I was continually teased in school for being “fat.” I’m still young. I’m 19. And I’m still a size 12. I eat healthily, but I eat what I want, when I want it, and I make sure to get physical exercise as much as possible. I’m very happy with who I am, mentally, physically, and emotionally. I certainly have my low-self-esteem days and my paranoid days, but I would estimate those are about 1 out of every 50. People tell me how pretty I am all the time, or how nice my clothes look on me, or how content with myself I seem. I don’t know what your answer is. For me, it was a combination of self-acceptance and Celexa. I hope that you find what you’re looking for. ---
**Author:** ![Hamlet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hamlet/32/2818_2.png) [@Hamlet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamlet)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inspired-by-cichlidiot-take-this-fat-bashers/150041/91 "2003-01-22T19:17:28Z")
All this arguing is making me hungry… ---
**Author:** ![Banger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8491ac/32.png) [@Banger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Banger)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inspired-by-cichlidiot-take-this-fat-bashers/150041/92 "2003-01-22T19:21:49Z")
Isn’t it great when a raving mad-man or -woman can come here and unite all of us together? ---
**Author:** ![Epimetheus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c4cdca/32.png) [@Epimetheus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Epimetheus)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inspired-by-cichlidiot-take-this-fat-bashers/150041/93 "2003-01-22T19:29:51Z")
Well, I wouldn’t consider a 12 “Fat” unless you were 4’11 or something. Even then it is only “slightly overweight” with about 5-10 lbs extra weight. Far cry from fat. (which IMO is 20lbs+) Looking on the Plus size model webpage at some of the 10-12’s I would say that many of them are what I consider healthy and very, very, very lovely. 😃 > **[PlusModels](http://plusmodels.com)** > > Plus-size Modeling Information and Education Since 1999 Some of them have a bit extra meat, but nothing unattractive or horrendous. (yes, I am shallow in that I am not attracted to very large women,[i.e obese] but I am not attracted to guys either, does that make me shallow as well?) ---
**Author:** ![Epimetheus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c4cdca/32.png) [@Epimetheus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Epimetheus)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inspired-by-cichlidiot-take-this-fat-bashers/150041/94 "2003-01-22T19:35:19Z")
For those that cannot get that link to work here is an example of a size 12/14 girl: [http://www.plusmodels.com/Rosalee/](http://www.plusmodels.com/Rosalee/) ---
**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inspired-by-cichlidiot-take-this-fat-bashers/150041/95 "2003-01-22T19:35:20Z")
> [@](#): > > but I am not attracted to guys either SOME OF US CANNOT HELP IT!! ---
**Author:** ![Maeglin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Maeglin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maeglin)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inspired-by-cichlidiot-take-this-fat-bashers/150041/96 "2003-01-22T19:35:56Z")
I thought I would let you all know that I just got back from the gym, and I feel _fabulous_. ---
**Author:** ![Alma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecd19e/32.png) [@Alma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alma)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inspired-by-cichlidiot-take-this-fat-bashers/150041/97 "2003-01-22T19:39:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by I\_Dig\_Bad\_Boys \* > \*\*And for everyone who called me bitter, you try surviving shit like that and end up not bitter. \*\* I wasn’t going to say anything in your thread or the other one **IDBB**. I really didn’t want to, but now I feel compelled. I had a shitty childhood. I don’t think you need all the horrific little details, but my mother was undiagnosed bi-polar, and when she finally got it diagnosed (sort of) she denied it and refused treatment. All the women in her family, including her mother, were obsessive about weight. None of them were skinny, but weight and weight management (or lack thereof) was pretty much a constant topic of conversation. I was coerced, blamed, and ridiculed by my mother constantly when I was in high school because she said I was getting fat or I was fat. Well, I wasn’t fat. When I got to college, I did, in fact, get fat. This was the end of the freakin’ world for my mother as far as I was concerned. I grew up learning to hate my body and myself and when I finally got “officially” fat I loathed myself even more. To this day I am still fat (size 22-24) and I still hate myself and my body. My mother got cancer a few years ago and died from it. It was a slow and disgusting process in which her body literally wasted away. I would not wish it on any human being. But when she first was diagnosed, she had a surgery which was basically an experimental type of gastric bypass (I think). She couldn’t eat much anymore and so lost a bunch of weight. And she was CONGRATULATED by her family. It was sort of a joke, I hope, but really they were commenting all the time on her weight loss. I guess it wasn’t until about a year in, when she really got frighteningly thin, that the jokes stopped. This is just an example to show how messed up my learning and attitudes have been about weight and body image. I read **chiclidiot’s** thread and I thought something a little along the lines of what you said. I wanted to scream because I thought it was unfair. Skinny people could never feel as terrible as fat people, because fat people are evil and therefore I’m evil and these skinny bitches better shut up. _Then_, after my initial period of feeling sorry for myself, I got real. I stepped outside my own little hell for one second and realized that yeah, other people have it rough too. That other thread had nothing to do with me and in fact they made me question my own attitudes toward thinness. Nobody was saying that if you sympathize with the underweight you can’t sympathize with the overweight. Your attitude stinks. Yeah, I’m bitter about my life so far, but I know it’s **my** problem. We’ve all had our crosses to bear and mine may be somewhat similar to yours, but I have learned that I’m not the only person on earth with issues. In fact, acknowledging and accepting other people’s problems helps me in turn feel better about myself. You might want to try it. ---
**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inspired-by-cichlidiot-take-this-fat-bashers/150041/98 "2003-01-22T19:59:09Z")
Well said, **l2000**. Peace. ---
**Author:** ![amarinth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3be4f8/32.png) [@amarinth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amarinth)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inspired-by-cichlidiot-take-this-fat-bashers/150041/99 "2003-01-22T20:17:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by XJETGIRLX \* > \*\*Love, Not Diet, Key to Weight Loss, Report Says > \*\* Am I the only person to whom this screamed “well, there’s a nasty vicious circle!” And **fatmac98** > [@](#): > > Besides my wife wears a 12, and she’s pretty hot, so I don’t really think that a 12 is jumbo sized. YMMV While I don’t want to think a 12 is jumbo sized, and while I try and fight the image of a 12 being jumbo sized, the fact of the matter is that many clothing stores (generic chain, not catering to petite or smaller sizes) don’t sell size 12 clothes at all. To those stores, a 12 is gigantic - and a person who is a 12 needs to go shopping at a store for larger women, not a store for “normal sized people.” ---
**Author:** ![fatmac98](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3ec8ea/32.png) [@fatmac98](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fatmac98)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inspired-by-cichlidiot-take-this-fat-bashers/150041/100 "2003-01-22T20:57:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by amarinth \* > \*\* > > And **fatmac98** While I don’t want to think a 12 is jumbo sized, and while I try and fight the image of a 12 being jumbo sized, the fact of the matter is that many clothing stores (generic chain, not catering to petite or smaller sizes) don’t sell size 12 clothes at all. To those stores, a 12 is gigantic - and a person who is a 12 needs to go shopping at a store for larger women, not a store for “normal sized people.” \*\* Not sure where you are shopping, but have never had a prob finding the wife pants/jeans/dresses/shirts in Gap, Express, Old Navy, Dillard’s, Foley’s, Talbot’s, Ann Taylor, etc. She tells me that the cutoff for the big girls store is a 16 or a 16 i think. Lord knows I am no expert. She’s 5’9", goes about 155 so I am pretty sure that is her size. She never takes back the stuff I get her. Thanks for your input. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inspired-by-cichlidiot-take-this-fat-bashers/150041.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inspired-by-cichlidiot-take-this-fat-bashers/150041.md?page=6)