# Instant reporting of "naughty girls" to Santa **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 24, 2005, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/instant-reporting-of-naughty-girls-to-santa/337114 "2005-12-24T22:17:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2005, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/instant-reporting-of-naughty-girls-to-santa/337114/1 "2005-12-24T22:17:23Z")
No, it’s not like that, you deves! My friend Ed had last week off, and he spent it with his young daughters, ages 6 and 4. While driving back home from a matinee, the young ladies became quarrelsome. Tiring of the exchange, my friend contacted OnStar, his navigation/rescue service. Activating the device, he quickly got a response. “Yes, Dr. Ed! How can I help you?” “I’ve got two naughty girls in the car and I need to report them to Santa immediately!” Fortunately the OnStar operator played along with him, and “made ready to file a report.” This did have the intended effectof immediately making both girls plead for mercy and promise good behavior. So my friend Ed relented, told the OnStar operator to hold the report for now, but keep it on file just in case. If you’re gonna have your kids believe in Santa, might as well get some leverage from the belief, no? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Ice\_Wolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/dfb087/32.png) [@Ice\_Wolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ice_Wolf)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2005, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/instant-reporting-of-naughty-girls-to-santa/337114/2 "2005-12-24T22:26:51Z")
Cool story. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Johanna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johanna/32/8318_2.png) [@Johanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johanna)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2005, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/instant-reporting-of-naughty-girls-to-santa/337114/3 "2005-12-24T22:28:02Z")
So instead of rescuing stranded motorists, he did funs on the job. :rolleyes: All in the name of coercing behavior by telling people they’re under 24-hour surveillance by some supernaturally powerful white bearded daddy figure. Just skip this part and cough up the presents already, Daddy O! ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2005, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/instant-reporting-of-naughty-girls-to-santa/337114/4 "2005-12-24T22:29:59Z")
> [@Johanna](#): > > So instead of rescuing stranded motorists, he did funs on the job. :rolleyes: To be fair, OnStar isn’t just emergency service. They have a push-button help feature that can give directions, tell you about nearby restaurants, etc. I suspect that was more fun for the operator than figuring out what Italian restaurants were in the area for the Nth time. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2005, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/instant-reporting-of-naughty-girls-to-santa/337114/5 "2005-12-24T22:32:48Z")
> [@Johanna](#): > > So instead of rescuing stranded motorists, he did funs on the job. :rolleyes: It’s hardly like he called 911 for this, **Johanna**. He pays for the service to use at any time for general info. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Rhiannon8404](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rhiannon8404/32/17929_2.png) [@Rhiannon8404](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhiannon8404)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2005, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/instant-reporting-of-naughty-girls-to-santa/337114/6 "2005-12-24T22:36:16Z")
> [@Johanna](#): > > So instead of rescuing stranded motorists, he did funs on the job. :rolleyes: All in the name of coercing behavior by telling people they’re under 24-hour surveillance by some supernaturally powerful white bearded daddy figure. Just skip this part and cough up the presents already, Daddy O! Somebody needs some Christmas cheer! ---
**Author:** ![Johanna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johanna/32/8318_2.png) [@Johanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johanna)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2005, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/instant-reporting-of-naughty-girls-to-santa/337114/7 "2005-12-24T22:36:56Z")
Sorry, the political implications of the Santa mythos are just too Orwellian for me. (The challenges of raising anarchist kids would make a whole other thread in itself.) ---
**Author:** ![clairobscur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/839c29/32.png) [@clairobscur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clairobscur)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2005, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/instant-reporting-of-naughty-girls-to-santa/337114/8 "2005-12-24T22:39:44Z")
> [@Rhiannon8404](#): > > Somebody needs some Christmas cheer! A file report about \*\* Johanna \*\* has been sent to the North Pole… ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2005, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/instant-reporting-of-naughty-girls-to-santa/337114/9 "2005-12-24T22:45:07Z")
My parents used to do that with my sister and I-if we were bad, they’d start “dialing Santa” to tell him we’d been naughty. Lighten up, **Johanna**. It’s a cute story that will most likely become family legend. ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2005, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/instant-reporting-of-naughty-girls-to-santa/337114/10 "2005-12-24T23:07:54Z")
> [@Johanna](#): > > Sorry, the political implications of the Santa mythos are just too Orwellian for me. At least he didn’t threaten to send them to “Room 101”, or invite them to assist the Ministry of Information to help with their enquiries. :eek: That might be a bit over the top. As it is, I think this one will make for a modestly entertaining/embarassing story once the girls reach the age of majority. On the 1-10 scale of emotional abuse that parents levy against children, I think this rates about a .25. Stranger ---
**Author:** ![Johanna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johanna/32/8318_2.png) [@Johanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johanna)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2005, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/instant-reporting-of-naughty-girls-to-santa/337114/11 "2005-12-25T00:11:20Z")
OK, I get it, fair is fair. But Shakespeare’s Witches said “Fair is foul and foul is fair.” Some referees they would make! ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2005, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/instant-reporting-of-naughty-girls-to-santa/337114/12 "2005-12-25T00:22:19Z")
> [@Johanna](#): > > But Shakespeare’s Witches said “Fair is foul and foul is fair.” Some referees they would make! “Hover through the fog and filthy air.” Stranger ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_MuD\_PhuD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/2bfe46/32.png) [@Elmer\_MuD\_PhuD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_MuD_PhuD)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2005, 6:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/instant-reporting-of-naughty-girls-to-santa/337114/13 "2005-12-25T06:18:37Z")
> [@Qadgop the Mercotan](#): > > No, it’s not like that, you deves! Yeah, but still, do you think OnStar would be willing to release their files on all those \*other \*naughty girls, over the age of 18, that live in the San Diego area? ---
**Author:** ![Rysto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ecccb3/32.png) [@Rysto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysto)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2005, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/instant-reporting-of-naughty-girls-to-santa/337114/14 "2005-12-25T15:36:38Z")
> [@Qadgop the Mercotan](#): > > “Yes, Dr. Ed! How can I help you?” > > “I’ve got two naughty girls in the car and I need to report them to Santa immediately!” Anybody else expect to see this conversation in an On Star commercial soon? ---
**Author:** ![Savannah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@Savannah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Savannah)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2005, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/instant-reporting-of-naughty-girls-to-santa/337114/15 "2005-12-25T16:12:12Z")
> [@Qadgop the Mercotan](#): > > “Yes, Dr. Ed! How can I help you?” > > “I’ve got two naughty girls in the car and I need to report them to Santa immediately!” Heh. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2005, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/instant-reporting-of-naughty-girls-to-santa/337114/16 "2005-12-25T17:13:19Z")
> [@Rysto](#): > > Anybody else expect to see this conversation in an On Star commercial soon? Not until next Christmas. ---
**Author:** ![CynicalGabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@CynicalGabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CynicalGabe)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2005, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/instant-reporting-of-naughty-girls-to-santa/337114/17 "2005-12-25T17:20:45Z")
> [@Johanna](#): > > Sorry, the political implications of the Santa mythos are just too Orwellian for me. (The challenges of raising anarchist kids would make a whole other thread in itself.) Someone needs a visit from Cindy-Lou Who… ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2005, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/instant-reporting-of-naughty-girls-to-santa/337114/18 "2005-12-25T17:28:03Z")
> [@Johanna](#): > > Sorry, the political implications of the Santa mythos are just too Orwellian for me. I must agree. I don’t see how it differs than someone I knew being told as a child that the Devil was going to get them if they were bad. Whatever. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Declan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecae2f/32.png) [@Declan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Declan)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2005, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/instant-reporting-of-naughty-girls-to-santa/337114/19 "2005-12-25T17:33:16Z")
> [@Qadgop the Mercotan](#): > > "I’ve got two naughty girls in the car and I need to report them to Santa immediately! > 😃 Oh nice , these same two girls are gonna pick his retirement home , lol I can see it now , karma Declan ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2005, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/instant-reporting-of-naughty-girls-to-santa/337114/20 "2005-12-25T17:49:37Z")
> [@Declan](#): > > Oh nice , these same two girls are gonna pick his retirement homel A much better point than mine, Declan. “Now Daddy, if you don’t sign these papers, we’ll tell Nurse Ratched to take away your TV privilges for _Golden Girls_.” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/instant-reporting-of-naughty-girls-to-santa/337114.md?page=2)