# Instead of studying, I made really lame "yo momma" jokes
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/instead-of-studying-i-made-really-lame-yo-momma-jokes/619986
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [April 26, 2012, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/instead-of-studying-i-made-really-lame-yo-momma-jokes/619986 "2012-04-26T03:52:30Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)
#### Post date: [April 26, 2012, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/instead-of-studying-i-made-really-lame-yo-momma-jokes/619986/1 "2012-04-26T03:52:30Z")
Yo momma so fat that she’d have to starve herself for two years in order to come down with kwashiorkor
Yo momma so dumb that when she was told she had Treponea pallidum she thought she got accepted into Hogwarts
Yo momma so lazy that when the Tsetse fly gave her trypanosomiasis no one could tell the difference
Yo momma so dumb that when she was bit by the dermacenter tick she thought, “Good, now I can go to Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory.”
Yo momma so fat that she’s immune from schistosomiasis: cercaria cannot get to her blood stream due to the fat in her legs
Yo momma so fat that cheeseburgers knock down the hookworms that try to latch on
Yo momma so dumb that when she got bit by aedes aegypti she thought she was getting free Adidas from Egypt
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### Author:  [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)
#### Post date: [April 26, 2012, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/instead-of-studying-i-made-really-lame-yo-momma-jokes/619986/2 "2012-04-26T04:04:49Z")
What’s the difference between yo momma and a laundry machine?
A laundry machine doesn’t follow me around for a week after I dump a load in it.
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### Author:  [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)
#### Post date: [April 26, 2012, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/instead-of-studying-i-made-really-lame-yo-momma-jokes/619986/3 "2012-04-26T04:39:11Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#):
>
> What’s the difference between yo momma and a laundry machine?
>
> A laundry machine doesn’t follow me around for a week after I dump a load in it.
You totally stole that from “30 Rock”!
Now, if I could just remember the one Jack said…
---
### Author:  [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)
#### Post date: [April 26, 2012, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/instead-of-studying-i-made-really-lame-yo-momma-jokes/619986/4 "2012-04-26T04:40:11Z")
Yo mama so fat, when she has to haul ass, she has to make two trips.
I stole that from someone on the Dope - I loved it! 😃
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### Author:  [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)
#### Post date: [April 26, 2012, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/instead-of-studying-i-made-really-lame-yo-momma-jokes/619986/5 "2012-04-26T04:46:12Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#):
>
> You totally stole that from “30 Rock”!
😃
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### Author:  [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)
#### Post date: [April 26, 2012, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/instead-of-studying-i-made-really-lame-yo-momma-jokes/619986/6 "2012-04-26T04:54:10Z")
Yo mama so fat, she got other fat ladies in orbit around her!
(I’ve always liked that one for the imagery. I picture all the ladies in question ecstatically dancing to the music of the spheres. Which is to say the music of yo mama.)
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### Author:  [@Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackknifed_Juggernaut)
#### Post date: [April 26, 2012, 11:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/instead-of-studying-i-made-really-lame-yo-momma-jokes/619986/7 "2012-04-26T11:14:18Z")
I don’t think that the OP is asking for regular ol’ Yo Momma jokes.
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### Author:  [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)
#### Post date: [April 26, 2012, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/instead-of-studying-i-made-really-lame-yo-momma-jokes/619986/8 "2012-04-26T14:04:13Z")
I don’t think so either, but you can’t always get what you want. 🙂
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### Author:  [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)
#### Post date: [April 26, 2012, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/instead-of-studying-i-made-really-lame-yo-momma-jokes/619986/9 "2012-04-26T17:06:31Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#):
>
> I don’t think so either, but you can’t always get what you want. 🙂
Indeed. I, for instance, got yo momma.
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### Author:  [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)
#### Post date: [April 26, 2012, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/instead-of-studying-i-made-really-lame-yo-momma-jokes/619986/10 "2012-04-26T17:11:25Z")
Yo momma so fat, her Schwarzschild radius is a meter!
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### Author:  [@xanthous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xanthous)
#### Post date: [April 26, 2012, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/instead-of-studying-i-made-really-lame-yo-momma-jokes/619986/11 "2012-04-26T18:29:33Z")
Yo momma’s armpits are so hairy it looks like she has Don King in a headlock.
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### Author:  [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)
#### Post date: [April 26, 2012, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/instead-of-studying-i-made-really-lame-yo-momma-jokes/619986/12 "2012-04-26T18:33:16Z")
Yo mamma so dumb that she thought manual labor was a Mexican actor.
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### Author:  [@mozchron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mozchron)
#### Post date: [April 26, 2012, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/instead-of-studying-i-made-really-lame-yo-momma-jokes/619986/13 "2012-04-26T18:53:38Z")
> [@RandMcnally](#):
>
> Yo momma so fat that she’d have to starve herself for two years in order to come down with kwashiorkor
>
> Yo momma so dumb that when she was told she had Treponea pallidum she thought she got accepted into Hogwarts
>
> Yo momma so lazy that when the Tsetse fly gave her trypanosomiasis no one could tell the difference
>
> Yo momma so dumb that when she was bit by the dermacenter tick she thought, “Good, now I can go to Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory.”
>
> Yo momma so fat that she’s immune from schistosomiasis: cercaria cannot get to her blood stream due to the fat in her legs
>
> Yo momma so fat that cheeseburgers knock down the hookworms that try to latch on
>
> Yo momma so dumb that when she got bit by aedes aegypti she thought she was getting free Adidas from Egypt
You’re not one of my parasitology students, are you? I’d probably give you an extra credit point if you wrote that on an exam.
Of course, you’d lose points for not capitalizing “Aedes” and “Dermacentor”
---
### Author:  [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)
#### Post date: [April 26, 2012, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/instead-of-studying-i-made-really-lame-yo-momma-jokes/619986/14 "2012-04-26T19:15:16Z")
Do you know who ELSE loved dogs? Yo momma.
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### Author:  [@Punoqllads](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Punoqllads)
#### Post date: [April 26, 2012, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/instead-of-studying-i-made-really-lame-yo-momma-jokes/619986/15 "2012-04-26T20:27:24Z")
Yo mama so dumb when I said I was having trouble with a regular expression she told me to eat more fiber.
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### Author:  [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)
#### Post date: [April 26, 2012, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/instead-of-studying-i-made-really-lame-yo-momma-jokes/619986/16 "2012-04-26T20:44:37Z")
Your momma is so fat that it negatively affects her self-esteem.
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### Author:  [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)
#### Post date: [April 26, 2012, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/instead-of-studying-i-made-really-lame-yo-momma-jokes/619986/17 "2012-04-26T22:42:36Z")
Yo momma so fat that the Dope is universally agreed that she should eat less and take some exercise.
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### Author:  [@Digital\_is\_the\_new\_Analog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Digital_is_the_new_Analog)
#### Post date: [April 26, 2012, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/instead-of-studying-i-made-really-lame-yo-momma-jokes/619986/18 "2012-04-26T23:17:45Z")
> [@Malacandra](#):
>
> Yo momma so fat that the Dope is universally agreed that she should eat less and take some exercise.
I call BS on this. The Dope doesn’t universally agree on anything! It’s part of our charm.
Yo mamma.
-D/a
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### Author:  [@minlokwat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/minlokwat)
#### Post date: [April 27, 2012, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/instead-of-studying-i-made-really-lame-yo-momma-jokes/619986/19 "2012-04-27T00:58:28Z")
Yo momma’s so fat her blood type is gravy.
Yo momma’s so fat when she goes to an all-you-can-eat buffet she pulls up a chair.
Yo momma’s so fat she went to a restaurant and the waiter handed her the menu. She looked at it for a minute and said, “O.K.”
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### Author:  [@Jaguars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jaguars)
#### Post date: [April 27, 2012, 10:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/instead-of-studying-i-made-really-lame-yo-momma-jokes/619986/20 "2012-04-27T10:04:12Z")
Last night I worked yo mamma from the whole to the part - she fitted class B tolerances quite nicely. 😉 However, she so nasty she gave me a site induction before I plowed her.
Yo Mamma so fat they measure her in geodesics.
Yo Mamma so fat she upsets the bubbles in spirit levels.
Yo Mamma so fat, when she lies down, yo can do a resection using her nose, tits and toes- and stay out of the danger circle. _Kinda proud of this one_ 😃
Yo Mamma so fat she causes distortions in the geodetic datum.
Yo Mamma so poor she still uses a Troughton & Simms Theodolite and a Gunther’s chain. _whyyy???_
Yo Mamma so old all her hanging lines have been chained and observed twice
Yo Mamma so easy they declared between her legs a legal road (20.12m wide, formed, unsealed).
What a silly thread. **Jaguars**! disapproves.