# Insults Only **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 18, 2017, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/insults-only/791606 "2017-07-18T23:05:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![boson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boson/32/11407_2.png) [@boson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/boson)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2017, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/insults-only/791606/61 "2017-08-27T05:49:40Z")
Unknown Comic (on The Gong Show): Hey Chuck, come here. I want to tell you a joke that will make you look stupid. Chuck Barris approaches him. Unknown Comic: Oh, I see you’ve already heard it. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2017, 6:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/insults-only/791606/62 "2017-08-27T06:21:10Z")
Does your face hurt? Because it’s killing me! ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2017, 7:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/insults-only/791606/63 "2017-08-27T07:09:37Z")
“I don’t _positively_ hate you _all_ of the time.” – _The Razor’s Edge_, by W. Somerset Maugham ---
**Author:** ![4d3fect](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/4d3fect/32/9728_2.png) [@4d3fect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/4d3fect)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2017, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/insults-only/791606/64 "2017-08-27T19:45:52Z")
Kneebiter. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2017, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/insults-only/791606/65 "2017-08-27T21:07:30Z")
**Jeor Mormont:** Honor made you leave, and honor brought you back. **Jon Snow:** My friends brought me back. **Jeor Mormont:** I didn’t say it was _your_ honor. ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2017, 6:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/insults-only/791606/66 "2017-08-29T06:16:21Z")
Winston Churchill and George Bernard Shaw traded famous insults for decades. Shaw once sent Churchill tickets to the opening night of his play, and said “Here are two tickets – bring a friend – if you have one.” Churchill replied “Sorry, I have an engagement that night. I’ll come the second night – if you have one.” ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2017, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/insults-only/791606/67 "2017-08-29T12:10:32Z")
“She means well.” (From R. R. Knudsen’s Zan Hagen novels. The ultimate insult in them.) ---
**Author:** ![boson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boson/32/11407_2.png) [@boson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/boson)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2017, 7:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/insults-only/791606/68 "2017-08-31T07:49:35Z")
You are such an interesting man when you are in denial. E.Tedrow ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2017, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/insults-only/791606/69 "2017-08-31T22:25:36Z")
Ladies and Gentlemen, you are under no obligation to laugh. However, if you don’t, we have a brand new audience warming up in the basement. My wife has a slight impediment in her speech – every now and then she stops to breathe. –Jimmy Durante ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2017, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/insults-only/791606/70 "2017-09-02T00:39:48Z")
You know what, Mom? You know what I’m going to get you next Christmas? A big wooden cross. So anytime you feel unappreciated for all your sacrifices, you can climb on up and nail yourself to it! ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2017, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/insults-only/791606/71 "2017-09-02T00:58:14Z")
Dennis Hopper, when asked why he’d acted in SUPER MARIO BROTHERS, had one hell of a comeback for his son: _“I did that so you could have shoes.”_ His son replied, _“Dad, I don’t need shoes that badly.”_ ---
**Author:** ![boson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boson/32/11407_2.png) [@boson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/boson)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2017, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/insults-only/791606/72 "2017-09-03T05:35:34Z")
Your casserole was almost good. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2017, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/insults-only/791606/73 "2017-09-10T18:42:17Z")
If my dog had a face like yours, I’d shave his ass and teach him to walk backwards! ---
**Author:** ![Murderface](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/779978/32.png) [@Murderface](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Murderface)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2017, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/insults-only/791606/74 "2017-09-10T19:01:41Z")
At least I know who my daddy is… ---
**Author:** ![boson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boson/32/11407_2.png) [@boson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/boson)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2017, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/insults-only/791606/75 "2017-09-19T04:49:55Z")
Oh, go gargle with razor blades. from talk show host Joe Pine. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2017, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/insults-only/791606/76 "2017-09-19T12:51:13Z")
I swear, I’ve scraped things off the bottom of my boots that were smarter than you. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2017, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/insults-only/791606/77 "2017-09-19T16:58:31Z")
Yeah, you LOOK like the kind of guy who steps in dog poop constantly. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2017, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/insults-only/791606/78 "2017-09-22T05:02:26Z")
Well, you _smell_ like one. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_the\_Immortal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@Max\_the\_Immortal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_the_Immortal)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2017, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/insults-only/791606/79 "2017-09-22T05:12:58Z")
You’re like the end piece of a loaf of bread; everyone touches you, but nobody wants you. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/insults-only/791606.md?page=3)