# Insurance for the cataclysmically stupid **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 28, 2004, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/insurance-for-the-cataclysmically-stupid/226453 "2004-01-28T19:33:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2004, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/insurance-for-the-cataclysmically-stupid/226453/41 "2004-01-30T15:55:09Z")
**catsix** ’s comment got me to thinking. My state, like hers, also requires some proof of insurance before letting you drive the car off the lot. I wonder if the Sphinctercraniums (great name, btw) were in a similar situation when they acquired their new cars? Couldn’t you imagine the poor fellow at the dealership trying to explain to them they couldn’t drive the car without insurance. Mr. S: I have to have what? Sales Guy: Proof of Insurance. Mr. S: Oh, wait. I’ve got that. (Pulls out years out of date proof of insurance for that car that he doesn’t own any more). SG: Nnnnnnnnnnooooooooooo… After many hilarious hijinks ensue, SG arranges new insurance for them. Somehow. Could it be possible that they are actually covered by two different insurance companies for the same cars??? ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2004, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/insurance-for-the-cataclysmically-stupid/226453/42 "2004-01-30T15:56:26Z")
This: > [@](#): > > Yes, let’s focus on the speeding. That’s the issue. She probably never drives the car anyway. Just sits in her driveway making vroom noises. Probably forgets to get in a car before she does it, too.) is why my co-workers are wondering why I’m silently burying my face in the crook of my elbow. ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2004, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/insurance-for-the-cataclysmically-stupid/226453/43 "2004-01-30T16:32:54Z")
Their Daughter is a brain surgeon! I think the doting parents must have let her practice as a kid. “Can I borrow daddy’s power drill? Mommy just lie back in the chair, this won’t hurt a bit.” ---
**Author:** ![sperfur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9adbd/32.png) [@sperfur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sperfur)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2004, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/insurance-for-the-cataclysmically-stupid/226453/44 "2004-01-30T18:47:59Z")
> [@Dante](#): > > **BRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!!!** > **Dante** : Heavily Put Upon Insurance Brokers, may I help you? > **Man From a Country Who’s Name Has No Vowels** : Yes, I haf insurance? > **Dante** : Okey dokey. > _(Announcements aren’t really required, but that’s nice to hear)_ > **MFACWNHNV** : For the car? > **Dante** : I see. > _(Guess he’s determined to tell me all about it)_ I talked to this guy’s wife yesterday! **sperfur** : This is **sperfur** , how may I help you? MFACWNHNV’s wife: Yes. I have application. Tell me status of interview? _(The thing about interviews, they take your communication skills into consideration before they hire you…)_ **sperfur** : Did you interview with us? MFACWNHNV’s wife: Yes. I turned in interview last week. _(You ‘turned in’ interview? I think you mean ‘application’.)_ **sperfur** : Let me look you up in our system…your application shows that you’re applying for a position in Kansas City but I see that you live in St. Louis. Did you interview in Kansas City? MFACWNHNV’s wife: What is Kansas City? (Okaayyy…not familiar with the existence of Kansas City, huh?) **sperfur** : Have you interviewed with us, or did you just turn in an application? MFACWNHNV’s wife: No. No interview. I need a job! _(It frightens me that you’re applying for a teaching position.)_ ---
**Author:** ![Greywolf73](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d9b06d/32.png) [@Greywolf73](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greywolf73)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2004, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/insurance-for-the-cataclysmically-stupid/226453/45 "2004-01-30T19:37:37Z")
> [@Dog80](#): > > **I can’t believe it** :eek: > > This woman can actually use a fax machine??? Let alone, drive a car? But she _doesn’t_ drive, remember? She just sits in the driveway and makes “Vrooooom” noises. Sometimes without the car. 😃 After reading your rant, **Dante** , I am even more convinced that there oughta be a tax on stupidity. That’d pay off the national debt in a hurry! ---
**Author:** ![vibrotronica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a9a28c/32.png) [@vibrotronica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vibrotronica)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2004, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/insurance-for-the-cataclysmically-stupid/226453/46 "2004-01-30T20:55:32Z")
> [@](#): > > Bloody hell! I can’t believe her husband is dumber than she is. How do they make a living? You can’t possibly make a living in that state deep of ignorance. Oh yes you can. I am no longer surprised by any amount of ignorance, stupidity, and sheer bull headedness from anyone of any income level. And she’s got four cars. She probably makes a whole lot more money than you or I. Money!=smarts. > [@](#): > > There is a school of thought (to which one of my partners belongs) which says: “when you are approached by a client like this, no matter how attractive the profit you will make from them seems, just say no. Make up some bullshit excuse, refer them to your worst enemy and wash your hands.” This is similar to the “Brown Paper Bag Rule”: If you are ever approached by a potential client who is carrying all of their information in a brown paper bag, turn down the case. They’re crazy." ---
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2004, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/insurance-for-the-cataclysmically-stupid/226453/47 "2004-02-04T23:31:22Z")
May I reprint this in [Teemings Extras](http://www.teemings.com/extras)? ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2004, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/insurance-for-the-cataclysmically-stupid/226453/48 "2004-02-04T23:37:53Z")
Bravo! BraVO! ::Standing ovation::: ---
**Author:** ![Dante](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dante/32/9673_2.png) [@Dante](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dante)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2004, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/insurance-for-the-cataclysmically-stupid/226453/49 "2004-02-05T00:12:08Z")
> [@Eutychus](#): > > May I reprint this in [Teemings Extras](http://www.teemings.com/extras)? Sure thing. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2004, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/insurance-for-the-cataclysmically-stupid/226453/50 "2004-02-05T00:37:03Z")
> [@Eutychus](#): > > May I reprint this in [Teemings Extras](http://www.teemings.com/extras)? I’ve submitted it for Threadspotting, too. There’s enough funny for both, I think. GMTA and all that… ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2004, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/insurance-for-the-cataclysmically-stupid/226453/51 "2004-02-05T00:38:47Z")
> [@sperfur](#): > > I talked to this guy’s wife yesterday! > > **sperfur** : This is **sperfur** , how may I help you? > MFACWNHNV’s wife: Yes. I have application. Tell me status of interview? > _(The thing about interviews, they take your communication skills into consideration before they hire you…)_ > **sperfur** : Did you interview with us? > MFACWNHNV’s wife: Yes. I turned in interview last week. > _(You ‘turned in’ interview? I think you mean ‘application’.)_ > **sperfur** : Let me look you up in our system…your application shows that you’re applying for a position in Kansas City but I see that you live in St. Louis. Did you interview in Kansas City? > MFACWNHNV’s wife: What is Kansas City? > (Okaayyy…not familiar with the existence of Kansas City, huh?) > **sperfur** : Have you interviewed with us, or did you just turn in an application? > MFACWNHNV’s wife: No. No interview. I need a job! > _(It frightens me that you’re applying for a teaching position.)_ Hell, I think I’ve HAD her as a teacher! ---
**Author:** ![manuele](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cc9497/32.png) [@manuele](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manuele)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2004, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/insurance-for-the-cataclysmically-stupid/226453/52 "2004-02-06T17:04:00Z")
I’m not a mensa member - BUT, my guess is these people pay for their 4 cars & insurance through employment in politics. PLEEEEEZZZZZ, tell me I’m WRONG! manuele ---
**Author:** ![Manatee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/50afbb/32.png) [@Manatee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manatee)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2004, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/insurance-for-the-cataclysmically-stupid/226453/53 "2004-02-06T17:49:02Z")
> [@Greywolf73](#): > > But she _doesn’t_ drive, remember? She just sits in the driveway and makes “Vrooooom” noises. Sometimes without the car. 😃 > > After reading your rant, **Dante** , I am even more convinced that there oughta be a tax on stupidity. That’d pay off the national debt in a hurry! Odds are good that your state already has such a tax. It’s called the lottery. ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2004, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/insurance-for-the-cataclysmically-stupid/226453/54 "2004-02-06T17:58:40Z")
> [@manuele](#): > > I’m not a mensa member - BUT, my guess is these people pay for their 4 cars & insurance through employment in politics. PLEEEEEZZZZZ, tell me I’m WRONG! > manuele That’s a possibility, but there’s another. You see, I work in customer service for a company that has a service for R-- agents who help people sell large, valuable, immovable objects. The conversation with Mrs. Sphinctercranium reminded me of a lot of my own (Coffee hurts when it is snorted up your nose) right down to the plea for a faxed document. I’d bet they’re both an awhpslvimo. DD ---
**Author:** ![Dante](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dante/32/9673_2.png) [@Dante](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dante)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2004, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/insurance-for-the-cataclysmically-stupid/226453/55 "2004-02-06T18:05:01Z")
> [@manuele](#): > > I’m not a mensa member - BUT, my guess is these people pay for their 4 cars & insurance through employment in politics. PLEEEEEZZZZZ, tell me I’m WRONG! > manuele Nope, they’re not in politics. Mr. Sphinctercranium owns a wildly successful property management company, and Mrs. Sphinctercranium used to be… DRUMROLL …a teacher. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Carrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f0a364/32.png) [@Captain\_Carrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Carrot)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2004, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/insurance-for-the-cataclysmically-stupid/226453/56 "2004-02-06T19:19:36Z")
> [@DesertDog](#): > > awhpslvimo What does that stand for? ---
**Author:** ![jellytoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/eb9ed0/32.png) [@jellytoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jellytoes)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2004, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/insurance-for-the-cataclysmically-stupid/226453/57 "2004-02-06T19:46:07Z")
**A** rticulate **W** ombat **H** aters **P** osing as **S** tupid **L** arge **V** ermin **I** n **M** y **O** ffice ??? ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2004, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/insurance-for-the-cataclysmically-stupid/226453/58 "2004-02-06T21:08:59Z")
\*\*Dante \*\* I know this is a bit sudden, but, I lov:::::ooooooh pretty! Our accountant was from Yugoslavia. She did all the tax stuff on the side for the entire Yugo ( not Croats. Not Serbs. No Herzamahwatevers. Yugos!) community in Michigan on the side of running her tiny little fiefdom at our office. Sidebar: We all asked Anna once to explain to us what exact was the problem with her home country and what the reason behind all the fighting and killing. After the first three minutes, she had lost everyone of us in total confusion with who was killing whom and whom worshipped what. I think I have met every Yugo in the state. I am not kidding. Their english was nearly non existant and, in fairness, my Yugo was only (phoentically) " cok-u-see" which is " How are you?" Anna was the only member of her community that I swear spoke excellent english. So, a passle of them would waltz into our office, and because I was closest to Mrs. Anna, I would haf to deel wit zem. **Large Woman With No Front teeth:** Mrs. Anna! - (Not a question. A statement, like Yul Brynner in The King and I.) \* **Me:** She’s at lunch. She should be back in 45 minutes. _Oh, why do you do that, Shirley? It is always the same. You have to talk simply down to their level of talk so that they understand. K.I.S.S. and all. And yes, by the way, I can wave my magic wand to make Mrs Anna magically appear from her spot of invisibility at her desk right there::::poof::::_ \*\*Large Woman \*\* Huh? \*\*Me \*\*: Mrs. Anna no here. Back one hour. \*It would even be more comical if I could do it in an asian accent \* \*\*Large Woman \*\* Okey Dokey. A while later Anna returns from lunch and I tell her she had a client with her posse stop by. **Anna** What she look like? \*\*Me \*\* Big boned, Large. Foot ball linebacker large, but more scary. peasant style garb… \*You know, the average looking woman out there. \* \*\*Anna \*\* No front teeth? \*\*Me \*\* Yeah. \*\*Anna \*\* Oh, that is Sophie’s third cousin’s brother in laws next door neighbor. she’s ok. Pays her bills on time and she’s a great cook…oooohhh, she makes ( insert gastromonical delight of Yugo’s here) **Me** : How long has she been here? \*I have to interupt on the gastromonical discourse or I will start gagging. \* \*\*Anna \*\* Ahhhh, she arrived here two weeks before I did. So…twenty six years. She works as a janitor at a hospital…(looking out the window) ohhh, there she is…she got her new car! \*\*Me \*\* _looking outside_ A lincoln town car! She’s got no teeth on the top row, but she can afford a Lincoln! _Does not compute. Abort conversation. Anna’s world and My World clearly exist on different levels._ This happened damn near every time one of her clients came into the office. And I have nothing against Yugo’s or fiats. Dante, yours was a masterpiece. ---
**Author:** ![Marvel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/779978/32.png) [@Marvel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marvel)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2004, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/insurance-for-the-cataclysmically-stupid/226453/59 "2004-02-07T01:38:49Z")
Dante: “The ones that aren’t on the application.” (And off the track we go into the cornfields. Oooh, pretty!) That last line made me bust up in the middle of the library!!! DAMN YOU TO HELL, DANTE!!! (Oh, sorry, you’ve already been there…) Fanning Away the Vapahs, Patty ---
**Author:** ![Alma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecd19e/32.png) [@Alma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alma)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2004, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/insurance-for-the-cataclysmically-stupid/226453/60 "2004-02-09T04:26:45Z")
My coworker recently had someone refuse to fax her proof of employment to us because it was the only copy she had. My coworker didn’t even try to explain it to her. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/insurance-for-the-cataclysmically-stupid/226453.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/insurance-for-the-cataclysmically-stupid/226453.md?page=4)