# Intelligently Design Yourself **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 10, 2011, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/intelligently-design-yourself/570913 "2011-02-10T17:09:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2011, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/intelligently-design-yourself/570913/21 "2011-02-10T19:31:33Z")
If I can step in as the OP to direct this a bit, while there are a lot of great suggestions here, some people seem to be straying a bit from the original idea. I was hoping that people would pick _existing features of other living things_. So, for example, the ability to smoke three packs a day and never get cancer wouldn’t be a valid option, but the ability to regenerate a limb like a starfish would. ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2011, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/intelligently-design-yourself/570913/22 "2011-02-10T20:10:51Z")
I’d definitely get rid of these damn headaches I’ve had since third grade. And my bad pancreas. And the voices. Dear Og, the voices. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2011, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/intelligently-design-yourself/570913/23 "2011-02-10T21:46:20Z")
For the guys: testicles and penis in a safer environment. As things hang now, it seems that those organs are just one baseball away from being rendered into uselessness. For the gals: voluntary ovulation. The default would be no ovulation, and women would have to learn how to ovulate. This education would take time and patience. I’m not sure if any species has this, though, so my second choice would be marsupialism. So, if a woman gets pregnant, she can easily just not allow the baby into the marsupial pouch, or remove it easily. For everyone: regenerating teeth. A shark’s smile isn’t as appealing as a human’s, but there would be far less misery in the world. I’ve had abcesses and root canals and just plain toothaches. Getting teeth fixed would be mostly a matter of determining whether to fill or pull a tooth. A minor cavity would be filled, while a tooth that would require a root canal would be pulled. I can think of a whole bunch of improvements, but most of them are for things that I’m not sure are available in real life species. ---
**Author:** ![Dread\_Pirate\_Jimbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dread_pirate_jimbo/32/3897_2.png) [@Dread\_Pirate\_Jimbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dread_Pirate_Jimbo)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2011, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/intelligently-design-yourself/570913/24 "2011-02-10T22:15:00Z")
Wings!!! ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2011, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/intelligently-design-yourself/570913/25 "2011-02-10T23:02:05Z")
Soft, silky, shiny fur. ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2011, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/intelligently-design-yourself/570913/26 "2011-02-10T23:15:57Z")
Whole-scale resign of the reproduction system. Especially menstruation. If you really want to know if you’re pregnant, we could install an indicator light or something\*. Just no more mess and cramps and mood swings. In the meanwhile, men need better protection for their dangly bits. Make them retractable, I think. As for the spine, and all the issues that come from bipedalism, I think people-centaurs would be a good compromise. You can have your weight spread out and your bigger birth canal, and you still get to have those opposable thumbs. \*I guess the OP would prefer “something”. Any suggestions? ---
**Author:** ![Tristan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tristan/32/18058_2.png) [@Tristan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tristan)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2011, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/intelligently-design-yourself/570913/27 "2011-02-10T23:35:02Z")
Honestly, as much as I dislike the idea, I think a specifically fertile period is a great idea. like, once or twice a year, a woman is fertile. The rest of the time, sex is just recreation. Want to not get pregnant? Don’t have sex during the time. Make last for a month, so those that do want to get pregnant can do so better. Women going into “heat” is also interesting, but I don’t like the idea of them being averse to sex outside of that period, soooo… I’m not sure if it’s muscle density, or if it’s the way the entry points are arranged, but the ability to have simian strength would be an asset across the board. Throw that in there. Hibernation ability at will would be very useful. And there aren’t any animals I can think of that won’t get fat, given unlimited food, so that idea is out. Add me to the list of folks clamoring for shark-teeth too. That’s an excellent idea. ---
**Author:** ![Mijin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mijin/32/9369_2.png) [@Mijin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mijin)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2011, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/intelligently-design-yourself/570913/28 "2011-02-10T23:36:52Z")
No depression, stronger spine and see more colours ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2011, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/intelligently-design-yourself/570913/29 "2011-02-10T23:41:58Z")
Mating seasons would be nice. We could plan vacations around them with the realization that everyone will be hardcore horny and humping for a week or two. Then the rest of the year sex drives would settle back into nothingness. I believe this would greatly increase our species’ productivity. And maxillary sinuses would drain downwards, not up. I don’t know if other species even have maxillary sinuses, though. ---
**Author:** ![TravisFromOR](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cc9497/32.png) [@TravisFromOR](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TravisFromOR)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2011, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/intelligently-design-yourself/570913/30 "2011-02-10T23:42:46Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > Soft, silky, shiny fur. Just on the head, or all over? I can see how all over would be nice, but then, Utah would be uninhabitable (or at least more so…) ---
**Author:** ![Trubie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/71c47a/32.png) [@Trubie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trubie)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2011, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/intelligently-design-yourself/570913/31 "2011-02-11T01:31:20Z")
It might be my profession talking, I don’t get as many bathroom breaks as regular workers do, but this idea has always been appealing to me. I don’t know how it would be possible, but I’d love if people were able to relieve themselves in the morning for the whole day. Like use the bathroom for say a half hour and be done with it. Not only that. Like say blow your nose for 10 minutes and not have any gunk or snot all day. ---
**Author:** ![Kevbo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e47774/32.png) [@Kevbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kevbo)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2011, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/intelligently-design-yourself/570913/32 "2011-02-11T01:37:09Z")
[George Carlin Voice] Put the wet, drippy, upside-down nose UNDER the mouth. [/GCV] ---
**Author:** ![Sr\_Siete](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6de8d8/32.png) [@Sr\_Siete](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sr_Siete)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2011, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/intelligently-design-yourself/570913/33 "2011-02-11T01:48:45Z")
Third dentition for everyone who reaches forty or so. Hell, make it a new set of teeth every couple of decades. Clearly, whoever designed teeth wasn’t expecting humans to survive their twenties. ---
**Author:** ![Sr\_Siete](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6de8d8/32.png) [@Sr\_Siete](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sr_Siete)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2011, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/intelligently-design-yourself/570913/34 "2011-02-11T01:52:40Z")
> [@rachelellogram](#): > > Then the rest of the year sex drives would settle back into nothingness. I believe this would greatly increase our species’ productivity. However, the lifespan would be so much shorter, due to tedium-caused suicide. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2011, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/intelligently-design-yourself/570913/35 "2011-02-11T02:15:39Z")
The eyes of a raptor would be good. Regrowing a lost limb would also be handy. I think a couple of creatures have that ability. ---
**Author:** ![emmaliminal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7bcc69/32.png) [@emmaliminal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/emmaliminal)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2011, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/intelligently-design-yourself/570913/36 "2011-02-11T02:22:56Z")
It would be extremely cool to be able to do like [octopuses](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7NQUqR_YpsA) can do and change not only color but also texture at will. Teenagers would not have to worry nearly as much about acne, and you’d not only not have to worry about blushing, we could have a whole new range of voluntary body language. ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2011, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/intelligently-design-yourself/570913/37 "2011-02-11T02:31:44Z")
DNA conjugation would be nice if it worked. If there are species of animal that do not have symptoms of depression and do not experience aging beyond maturity that’d be nice to have. I’ve heard turtles do not grow geriatric once they hit maturity (they stabalize at middle age biologies), but I think that is an urban legend. ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2011, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/intelligently-design-yourself/570913/38 "2011-02-11T02:53:30Z")
> [@Sr\_Siete](#): > > However, the lifespan would be so much shorter, due to tedium-caused suicide. Only if you weren’t used to it. And you would be. ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2011, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/intelligently-design-yourself/570913/39 "2011-02-11T03:45:39Z")
> [@Trubie](#): > > It might be my profession talking, I don’t get as many bathroom breaks as regular workers do, but this idea has always been appealing to me. I don’t know how it would be possible, but I’d love if people were able to relieve themselves in the morning for the whole day. Like use the bathroom for say a half hour and be done with it. I think some species are able to re-uptake (if that’s a word) water that’s sitting in their bladder. Like if they’re thirsty and really have to pee at the same time. The problems cancel out. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2011, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/intelligently-design-yourself/570913/40 "2011-02-11T04:33:24Z")
> [@Tristan](#): > > Honestly, as much as I dislike the idea, I think a specifically fertile period is a great idea. like, once or twice a year, a woman is fertile. The rest of the time, sex is just recreation. Want to not get pregnant? Don’t have sex during the time. Make last for a month, so those that do want to get pregnant can do so better. Women going into “heat” is also interesting, but I don’t like the idea of them being averse to sex outside of that period, soooo… Yes, I think we’d quite like not having to deal with the mess and bother of the current 28 (or 26 in my case, grrr) day cycle, without having to resort to chemical means of altering it. It’s not like we don’t have enough people so 12 chances at pregnancy are needed every year to keep the species going. I don’t think women would necessarily be adverse to sex the rest of the year, given we’re smarter than the animals who have a mating season and can understand other benefits to sex. Lubricants might be required during non-heat times, though. I also like the idea of hibernation. Picture it: as it gets towards the holiday season, you need to eat a lot, so everyone guiltlessly gorges themselves on Halloween-Thanksgiving-Christmas treats. Then, after Christmas, you enter hibernation, and are spared the tedium and frustration of winter. In the spring you wake up, the snow is gone and you are thin. What’s not to love? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/intelligently-design-yourself/570913.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/intelligently-design-yourself/570913.md?page=3)