# Interesting things that you family/parents say **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 8, 2012, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/interesting-things-that-you-family-parents-say/621297 "2012-05-08T17:23:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![gvozd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gvozd/32/7301_2.png) [@gvozd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gvozd)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2012, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/interesting-things-that-you-family-parents-say/621297/1 "2012-05-08T17:23:40Z")
What are the funny or interesting things that your family or parents say to you when they are angry or mad at you or frustrated on by? My father never ever appreciates what I do and always criticize in a strong way as a hobby. And at the end of his sermon he says: “Be a man! Stop feeling pity for yourself. And stop looking so unhappy or I will give you something that will make you really unhappy.” Sorry mods if it’s in wrong section. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2012, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/interesting-things-that-you-family-parents-say/621297/2 "2012-05-08T17:27:39Z")
That’s your father’s way of being funny or interesting? Sounds like a riot. ---
**Author:** ![Capt\_Kirk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@Capt\_Kirk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capt_Kirk)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2012, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/interesting-things-that-you-family-parents-say/621297/3 "2012-05-08T17:36:05Z")
Mom says “You are a wart on the pickle of progress” I had no idea for years that she is the only person on the planet who says this, I assumed it was a common expression. ---
**Author:** ![gvozd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gvozd/32/7301_2.png) [@gvozd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gvozd)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2012, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/interesting-things-that-you-family-parents-say/621297/4 "2012-05-08T17:37:03Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > That’s your father’s way of being funny or interesting? Sounds like a riot. Nope, I find the way of his being angry at me interesting and funny. ---
**Author:** ![Sudden\_Kestrel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecd19e/32.png) [@Sudden\_Kestrel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sudden_Kestrel)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2012, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/interesting-things-that-you-family-parents-say/621297/5 "2012-05-08T21:11:02Z")
> [@gvozd](#): > > What are the funny or interesting things that your family or parents say to you when they are angry or mad at you or frustrated on by? > > My father never ever appreciates what I do and always criticize in a strong way as a hobby. And at the end of his sermon he says: > > “Be a man! Stop feeling pity for yourself. And stop looking so unhappy or I will give you something that will make you really unhappy.” > > Sorry mods if it’s in wrong section. I think your dad is my mother. ---
**Author:** ![florez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b9e5f3/32.png) [@florez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/florez)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2012, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/interesting-things-that-you-family-parents-say/621297/6 "2012-05-08T21:26:41Z")
“An idle mind is the devil’s playground” when we were bored, and “idle hands are the devil’s playground” when we were lazy. ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2012, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/interesting-things-that-you-family-parents-say/621297/7 "2012-05-08T21:29:24Z")
When one of us kids would do something to really rile my Mom up: “I am going to MURDER someone!” ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2012, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/interesting-things-that-you-family-parents-say/621297/8 "2012-05-08T22:52:49Z")
> [@Capt\_Kirk](#): > > Mom says “You are a wart on the pickle of progress” I had no idea for years that she is the only person on the planet who says this, I assumed it was a common expression. This is the greatest expression! My Mom always used to say, ‘‘talk is cheap.’’ Despite all of our conflict in the past, I have to admit she was certainly right about that. ---
**Author:** ![Capt\_Kirk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@Capt\_Kirk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capt_Kirk)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2012, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/interesting-things-that-you-family-parents-say/621297/9 "2012-05-08T22:56:30Z")
> [@olivesmarch4th](#): > > This is the greatest expression! > > My Mom always used to say, ‘‘talk is cheap.’’ Despite all of our conflict in the past, I have to admit she was certainly right about that. OM I completely agree, just try it out on someone and watch how they look at you.😃 ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2012, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/interesting-things-that-you-family-parents-say/621297/10 "2012-05-08T23:04:59Z")
When we’d say we hated something trivial my mom would say “We don’t hate (peas, eg), we hate Hitler”. (My parents are concentration camp survivors.) ---
**Author:** ![Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maggie_the_Ocelot)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2012, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/interesting-things-that-you-family-parents-say/621297/11 "2012-05-08T23:53:25Z")
Me: “Hey mom, I’ve got a question.” Mom: “I’ve got an answer, let’s see if they match!” Me: (for example) “Where did you put that paperwork I gave you to fill out?” Mom: “Oooh sorry, my answer was ‘an Eggplant’ (or something similarly silly), no match!” My mother is a very odd person. ---
**Author:** ![Cub\_Mistress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea666f/32.png) [@Cub\_Mistress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cub_Mistress)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2012, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/interesting-things-that-you-family-parents-say/621297/12 "2012-05-08T23:55:17Z")
One thing my mom used to say that never failed to crack us up was “Lies have short legs.” It’s still funny. Another thing mom would do would be to stutter through all of our names to finally hit on the name of the perp-of-the-moment. Sometimes even the dog’s name or the cats’ names got thrown into the mix! When I had teenagers of my own, I found myself doing the same thing. ---
**Author:** ![dexter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dc4da7/32.png) [@dexter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dexter)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2012, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/interesting-things-that-you-family-parents-say/621297/13 "2012-05-09T00:03:35Z")
> [@Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](#): > > Me: “Hey mom, I’ve got a question.” > > Mom: “I’ve got an answer, let’s see if they match!” > > Me: (for example) “Where did you put that paperwork I gave you to fill out?” > > Mom: “Oooh sorry, my answer was ‘an Eggplant’ (or something similarly silly), no match!” > My mother is a very odd person. Maggie, your mom sounds like a hoot to me.😛 I was known to disassemble toys (or non-toys) to see how they worked. I was told more than once that I would “tear up the devil himself, if you could get your hands on him”. ---
**Author:** ![Aspidistra](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspidistra/32/3894_2.png) [@Aspidistra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspidistra)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2012, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/interesting-things-that-you-family-parents-say/621297/14 "2012-05-09T00:07:10Z")
My Sister in law has some good ones. eg Kid: “I want …blah blah blah” SIL: “Well _I_ want a million dollars and a trip to Tahiti” (my husband has co-opted this as "a million dollars and a trip to Antarctica. Not a hot weather person there) ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2012, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/interesting-things-that-you-family-parents-say/621297/15 "2012-05-09T02:49:57Z")
Whenever my family would be late to go somewhere, which was almost always, my dad would inevitably say, “And we’re off like a herd of turtles.” I have taken up the mantle and utter it from time to time. ---
**Author:** ![wheresmymind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/91b2a8/32.png) [@wheresmymind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wheresmymind)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2012, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/interesting-things-that-you-family-parents-say/621297/16 "2012-05-09T05:05:58Z")
When my mom got exasperated with us as kids, not when we were really bad but if we were being really silly or annoying she’d tell us to stop it “or I’ll Beat You TO A BLOODY PULP!!!” with her voice crescendoing at “pulp.” None of us even knew what a “bloody pulp” was, it was just a funny thing Mom said when she was tired of our shenanigans. She had an embarrassing moment in the grocery store one day when she chastised me and I jokingly said “Oh no Mom, please don’t beat me to a bloody pulp!” I remember all the other moms looking shocked at her as she sheepishly tried to explain that she never beat me to a pulp, she just often said she would. They didn’t get it. Without thinking I once said it to my girlfriend in college when she did something annoying, much to her abject horror. I explained that it was just something my Mom used to say to us growing up, and that it was meant to be funny. She didn’t get it either. ---
**Author:** ![MissTake](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misstake/32/3189_2.png) [@MissTake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissTake)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2012, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/interesting-things-that-you-family-parents-say/621297/17 "2012-05-09T05:17:55Z")
My dad, bless him, used to say “If it cost a nickel to pee, I’d have to wet myself” whenever my sister or I would ask for money. His opinion of family? “Ya gotta love them, but you sure don’t have to _like_ them!” I say many things to drive TheKid nuts. If she announces she’s going to ask me something, my response never makes any sense. The favorite non-responses are “lavender salamander” or “7,892”. If she asks where something came from? “Well, when a daddy [object] and a mommy [object] really love each other…” Yes. I am that parent. ---
**Author:** ![manila](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e5b9ba/32.png) [@manila](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manila)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2012, 6:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/interesting-things-that-you-family-parents-say/621297/18 "2012-05-09T06:48:51Z")
When my sisters were competing excitedly trying to be the first to tell my dad something he would raise his hand and say " Hey you two, not so fast, slow down to a frenzy!" ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2012, 10:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/interesting-things-that-you-family-parents-say/621297/19 "2012-05-09T10:12:36Z")
> [@MissTake](#): > > If she asks where something came from? “Well, when a daddy [object] and a mommy [object] really love each other…” > Yes. I am that parent. I do this! It’s hysterical! I don’t know why the kids don’t seem to appreciate it… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2012, 10:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/interesting-things-that-you-family-parents-say/621297/20 "2012-05-09T10:28:32Z")
When we’d whine “I’m hungry!” Mom’s standard response was “I’m Loretta - nice to meet you, Hungry!” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/interesting-things-that-you-family-parents-say/621297.md?page=2)