# Interesting things that you family/parents say **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 8, 2012, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/interesting-things-that-you-family-parents-say/621297 "2012-05-08T17:23:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2012, 10:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/interesting-things-that-you-family-parents-say/621297/21 "2012-05-09T10:56:02Z")
> [@Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](#): > > My mother is a very odd person. I think I love your mom. I know I’m going to steal from your mom to torture my own children. > [@Autolycus](#): > > Whenever my family would be late to go somewhere, which was almost always, my dad would inevitably say, “And we’re off like a herd of turtles.” I have taken up the mantle and utter it from time to time. My SO says, “And we’re off like a turd of hurdles.” Every time. I’m glad he amuses himself. My daughter is 7 and I can still make her laugh when she says she’s hungry. “Oh, you’re hungry? Well then, we should feed you…to the alligators!” Sometimes we go through the whole zoo that way. “We should feed you…to the chimpanzees!” “No, no! Feed me to the hummingbirds, Mom!” 😃 I admit I sometimes use one of those g-d infuriating ones that my mother used on me: “Mom, where’s my book/shoes/bag/etc.?” “Oh, last time I had it I just threw it down anywhere, dear!” killkillkill ---
**Author:** ![freckafree](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/freckafree/32/3050_2.png) [@freckafree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/freckafree)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2012, 11:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/interesting-things-that-you-family-parents-say/621297/22 "2012-05-09T11:34:48Z")
If we ever asked where something was at, my mother would respond, “Up in Lizzie’s room behind the at.” Incidentally, my 16-y-o son does the “When a daddy [object] and a mommy [object]…” thing to me all the time! **WhyNot** , damn, I wish I’d thought of the “I just threw it down anywhere, dear” response! ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2012, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/interesting-things-that-you-family-parents-say/621297/23 "2012-05-09T16:33:53Z")
> [@Autolycus](#): > > Whenever my family would be late to go somewhere, which was almost always, my dad would inevitably say, “And we’re off like a herd of turtles.” I have taken up the mantle and utter it from time to time. My maternal grandpa would always say that and my mom and dad got it from him, I totally use it all the time now. Whenever we would go somewhere, my dad would say that we are going to “Buchstahoosen,” so for the longest time, I always thought that a certain park that we went to a lot was called that. THe closest I’ve come to a real place like that is buchstaben. > **[Google](https://www.google.com/#hl=en&safe=active&sa=X&ei=FpyqT8v2JpSk8QTw18CaAw&ved=0CCEQvwUoAA&q=buchstaben&spell=1&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.r_qf.,cf.osb&fp=88c82eca84f23f13&biw=1238&bih=695)** > > Search the world's information, including webpages, images, videos and more. Google has many special features to help you find exactly what you're looking for. ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2012, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/interesting-things-that-you-family-parents-say/621297/24 "2012-05-09T16:42:42Z")
Mr. Neville’s grandmother used to threaten to “ferschnuckle his schnuckle” (spelling highly approximate). He never had any idea what that would involve. The grandmother in question is dead now, so we can’t ask her. > [@Aspidistra](#): > > My Sister in law has some good ones. > > eg > > Kid: “I want …blah blah blah” > SIL: “Well _I_ want a million dollars and a trip to Tahiti” (my husband has co-opted this as "a million dollars and a trip to Antarctica. Not a hot weather person there) I might have to use this one in a few years. ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2012, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/interesting-things-that-you-family-parents-say/621297/25 "2012-05-09T17:03:27Z")
My father has some interesting ones he got from his father. “Why is a cow? Because it’s not a horse.” His response to “Hey!” is “Hay is for horses.” ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2012, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/interesting-things-that-you-family-parents-say/621297/26 "2012-05-09T17:05:10Z")
> [@IvoryTowerDenizen](#): > > When we’d say we hated something trivial my mom would say “We don’t hate (peas, eg), we hate Hitler”. > > (My parents are concentration camp survivors.) I was broken of saying ‘I hate X’ by my dad. Every time I’d say I hate something, he’d say “You don’t hate it, you dislke it intensely. Hate is like the ravening beaks of vultures descending upon a place of skulls.” The quote isn’t exact, but you get the idea. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2012, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/interesting-things-that-you-family-parents-say/621297/27 "2012-05-09T17:20:05Z")
My mom always used to the Indian version of the expression “more than one way to skin a cat”. I’ve picked it up, too. The way it goes is like this. You say “If you can’t grab your nose this way” (picture me holding my nose the normal way) then you grab it this way (picture your hand reaching over the top of your head to grab your nose from upside down)". ---
**Author:** ![Pixel\_Dent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bc8723/32.png) [@Pixel\_Dent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixel_Dent)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2012, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/interesting-things-that-you-family-parents-say/621297/28 "2012-05-09T18:02:16Z")
When we’d whine that we were bored my mother would say, “Intelligent people never get bored.” ---
**Author:** ![Neevil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Neevil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neevil)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2012, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/interesting-things-that-you-family-parents-say/621297/29 "2012-05-09T18:14:09Z")
My mother - ‘that’ll be the rock you perish on’ whenever we decided to even think about doing something we shouldn’t. In other words, don’t you dare. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2012, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/interesting-things-that-you-family-parents-say/621297/30 "2012-05-09T18:19:55Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > When we’d whine “I’m hungry!” Mom’s standard response was “I’m Loretta - nice to meet you, Hungry!” Mine too - drove me absolutely bonkers! ---
**Author:** ![Zyanthia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Zyanthia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zyanthia)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2012, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/interesting-things-that-you-family-parents-say/621297/31 "2012-05-09T18:35:14Z")
> [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](#): > > … > > His response to “Hey!” is “Hay is for horses.” That was my dad! But it was a whole poem. ``` *Hay is for horses, Cows eat it too. It's also for jackasses Kind of like you!* ``` One I got from my grandfather, was when we were lazy and pronounced “FOR” as “FUR” as in 'what fur?" My grandpa would say, “Cat fur for kitten britches” making sure to enunciate the two words differently. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2012, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/interesting-things-that-you-family-parents-say/621297/32 "2012-05-09T18:36:20Z")
Oh, here’s another one! Whenever my dad got stuck in traffic he’d look at me and grin and tell me he was about to engage the “flying gear”. Oh, dad, if only! ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2012, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/interesting-things-that-you-family-parents-say/621297/33 "2012-05-09T18:42:06Z")
> [@freckafree](#): > > If we ever asked where something was at, my mother would respond, “Up in Lizzie’s room behind the at.” My ex-husband had a pathological aversion to answering questions, usually countering with something trite, like “Why? Ya writin’ a book?” But his response to every question beginning with where was always, “If it was up your butt you’d know.” And that has somehow become a saying in our family. :o It is his legacy. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2012, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/interesting-things-that-you-family-parents-say/621297/34 "2012-05-09T18:43:15Z")
A lot of time, when I borrowed the car on weekends, my dad would say to me as I was leaving “Don’t be a statistic.” We did a lot of backroad touring with alcohol back in the day, and he knew it. We called it _crop touring_. ---
**Author:** ![StuffLikeThatThere](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc8723/32.png) [@StuffLikeThatThere](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StuffLikeThatThere)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2012, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/interesting-things-that-you-family-parents-say/621297/35 "2012-05-09T18:43:36Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > I admit I sometimes use one of those g-d infuriating ones that my mother used on me: > “Mom, where’s my book/shoes/bag/etc.?” > “Oh, last time I had it I just threw it down anywhere, dear!” killkillkill I use “Well, where did you leave it, dear?” and I’ll try to remember this as a more exciting (if no less irritating) variation. When my nephew has forgotten his manners and makes demands like, “Make me a sandwich!!!” my brother is fond of saying, “POOF! You’re a sandwich!” ---
**Author:** ![SticksAndString](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3bc359/32.png) [@SticksAndString](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SticksAndString)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2012, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/interesting-things-that-you-family-parents-say/621297/36 "2012-05-09T18:52:52Z")
> [@Cub\_Mistress](#): > > One thing my mom used to say that never failed to crack us up was “Lies have short legs.” It’s still funny. > > Another thing mom would do would be to stutter through all of our names to finally hit on the name of the perp-of-the-moment. Sometimes even the dog’s name or the cats’ names got thrown into the mix! When I had teenagers of my own, I found myself doing the same thing. My stepdad (who, in his defense, DID have six other kids besides my sister, brother and I) would do that. “STOP DOING THAT A, B, C, D, E, F, G..no wait. Who are you again?” ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2012, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/interesting-things-that-you-family-parents-say/621297/37 "2012-05-09T18:56:16Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > I admit I sometimes use one of those g-d infuriating ones that my mother used on me: > “Mom, where’s my book/shoes/bag/etc.?” > “Oh, last time I had it I just threw it down anywhere, dear!” killkillkill My mom managed to make this even MORE infuriating. Her response was, “Wherever you left it”. A simple “I don’t know” would have sufficed. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2012, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/interesting-things-that-you-family-parents-say/621297/38 "2012-05-09T18:58:23Z")
> [@Anne\_Neville](#): > > My mom managed to make this even MORE infuriating. Her response was, “Wherever you left it”. > > A simple “I don’t know” would have sufficed. I think that’s a standard phrase in the _Parent Handbook_. Along with: “life’s not fair,” and “because I said so, that’s why.” ---
**Author:** ![Snickers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Snickers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snickers)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2012, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/interesting-things-that-you-family-parents-say/621297/39 "2012-05-09T19:02:17Z")
We’re “off like a herd/terd of turtles/hurtles” pretty often in my family. If he ever needs to stop quickly (as in traffic), my father usually will bring out the “whoa, horses! Whoa, horses!” too. I find myself doing this as well. I also find myself using “It’s my turn” a lot at stoplights - I got this from my aunt. We also pronounce a lot of initalisms. For example, we pronounce UCLA as a word: “you-cla.” Similarly with the University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire - my mom graduated from UWEC, or “you-eck.” (One of my friends how also graduated from UWEC doesn’t pronounce it, and looks at me funny when I do.) ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Il\_Palazzo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Lord\_Il\_Palazzo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Il_Palazzo)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2012, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/interesting-things-that-you-family-parents-say/621297/40 "2012-05-09T19:12:10Z")
> [@Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](#): > > Me: “Hey mom, I’ve got a question.” > > Mom: “I’ve got an answer, let’s see if they match!” > > Me: (for example) “Where did you put that paperwork I gave you to fill out?” > > Mom: “Oooh sorry, my answer was ‘an Eggplant’ (or something similarly silly), no match!” > My mother is a very odd person. Huh. I’ve used that one before, but I don’t run into other people who do very often. (I mean, I’m pretty sure I’m not **Maggie** ’s mother…) My grandmother has some interesting expressions and stories she uses from time to time. Of a small house or room, I once heard her say “the isn’t room in there to cuss a cat without getting fur in your mouth.” Of a person with a large gap in his teeth, she says “he could bit a pumpkin through a picket fence.” (This one was made even more interesting when my little brother misremembered it as “he could bit a rabbit through a picket fence.”) She occasionally talks about how, when she was a girl, she was taught that if she ever did any sewing on Sunday, the devil would someday make her pick out every stitch with her nose. (She usually mentions this while she sews on Sunday.) I know there are more, but I just can’t think of them. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/interesting-things-that-you-family-parents-say/621297.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/interesting-things-that-you-family-parents-say/621297.md?page=3)