Thank you! I refused to tell my eleven year old daughter what that phrase meant. We are rather open and honest, but I have my limits. I think this is evidence that I did the right thing.
The cremation story just gave me the idea of death in space, I would be very alive during the trip.
That’s been done. Slim Pickens did it in Dr Strangelove.
I would have to gorge myself on several pounds of popcorn kernels and beer and then stagger over to the El tracks. Then, 1 in front of a bunch of people waiting for the train proceed to pee on the third rail. Trauma and snacks for everyone.
Could someone tell me what it means? I’m afraid to do a search on the internet.
I’d rent a Ferrari convertable, buy a good length of rope, and find a relatively empty stretch of city street. Then I’d fashion one end of the rope to a noose, and throw it over a convenient streetlamp. I’d tie the other end of the rope to the bumper of the Ferrari. I’d get in the Ferrari, and put the noose around my neck.
Then I’d buckle my seatbelt, and floor it.
Some people get off on being choked or strangled, which is the “asphyxiation” part. Some of these people have trouble finding other people who are willing to play along, and so try to do it to themselves, which is the “autoerotic” part. Occasionally, these attempts at self-gratification go terribly wrong, and the person inadvertantly kills him-or-herself, which is the “death by” part.
I believe the lead singer for INXS died by autoerotic asphyxiation.
Well, I considered going ‘by cop’, a hail of gunfire and what have you, but I want something a little more epic. So, with the synthesizer music of Vangelis playing in the background…
Scene: Maryland State Cross Country Running Course.
Character: Me.
Well, I’m running. Having been nothing spectacular before, the crowds are amazed to see me leading the race, and even extending the lead.
Around mile 2, it becomes apparent that I’m giving it all I got. My ragged breath cuts the air, and you can see my chest heaving spastically, but I’m going.
Finish line in sight. I’m leading by minutes, I cross the line, in record time, and stumble, eventually crashing hard into the muddy ground. The fans rush on me, despite the race official’s warnings of disqualification. And I’m gone.
Yes sir, running myself straight to death would be my way to go. I was tempted to have done it at a higher stake race, olympic trials or something, but let’s keep this remotely possible, eh?
Well… almost.
It’s not the asphyxiation that’s pleasurable, but the rush of oxygen after the asphyxiation stops. I know, it sounds like “not pounding your head against a brick wall feels good after you’ve been pounding awhile” but adherents swear there’s some sort of additional ecstatic response.
So, in pursuit of this unique pleasure many lonely gents have been known to devise mechanical means of self-asphyxiation which they can apply to themselves during self-gratification… the “autoerotic” part.
However, sometimes these gents miscalculate or fail entirely to consider that their noose arrangements must be designed with a failsafe so that if they pass out from lack of oxygen, their air supply is restored automatically.
Otherwise, the coroner will soon be taking pictures of them with their head in a noose and their tallywacker in their hand. And considering the lifestyles of people inclined towards such behaviors, [url"http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=266158"]this thread may become applicable.
Definately NOT this way:
http://www.sptimes.com/2004/07/14/Hillsborough/Man_rescued_from_sept.shtml
:eek:
Wow, what kind of crap is that, talk about shitty ways to go.
Good thing I don’t believe in Hell cause I’m so going.
I’d like to be zapped by a 1920’s Style Death Ray.
Miller, bughunter, thank you for the information. Learn something new everyday. Well worth the five bucks I spent here.
…What would the cops say to a grieving mother when she asked how her son died?
Having checked the big dictionary, I now realize I’ve been using that word wrong my entire life! :eek:
Kaotic Newtral, as soon as I stop laughing, I’m coming over to pummel you 
This post is a bit long, so bear with me.
I’m writing a fantasy story where the free peoples of the world have been almost all killed by the demons, called Nokha:tuya. They’re basically giant insects (I realize this isn’t biologically possible, but hey, it’s a fantasy story. Bear with me.) created by a malevolent god. They are pure evil.
There are maybe 300 people left, on an island in a shallow, marshy lake. Surrounding them on the shore of the lake are literally thousands of Nokha:tuya, ready to rush and kill what’s left of the free peoples. The people are scared, and many are loudly crying and wailing.
Then, a man named Tasala:nni steps out of the island, and walks through the marsh to the dry land. With a look of peace and serenity on his face, he steps in front of the leader of the Nokha:tuya. The closest demons rush in to gut him with their giant claws.
But then Tasala:nni begins to sing, and the demons find themselves unable to kill him. Tasala:nni’s song is a prayer song, simultaneously pleading with the Gods to assist the free peoples and expressing Tasala:nni’s absolute faith that the Gods will come through for him. The demons still cannot seem to harm him as long as he continues the prayer-song.
Suddenly, the song ends. Then, a blue-white beam of light descends from the heavens, and it strikes Tasala:nni. A voice is heard, saying “We grant to you the power of the Gods. If you have faith, you will use it well”.
It then appeared as if Tasala:nni was glowing with a blue-white light. The Nokha:tuya came out of their song-induced trance and began to rush towards him, but he simply cried “It is finished”. A bright wall of light then appeared around his body, and it began to move outwards. As the wall struck the closest Nokha:tuya, it fell dead, and its body turned into black dust, and dissappeared.
The wall of light spread further. Although it passed through the throng of free people without harming them, all the Nokha:tuya touched by it were killed. The wall spread throughout the entire planet, killing the demons everywhere that they were.
When at last the light was ended, a man rushed from the island to where Tasala:nni had stood. He found his body lying on the grass, nearly dead, and still glowing faintly blue-white. Tasala:nni looked up at the man, smiled, and said “They are gone now. Lead the free peoples to a glorious future.” Then he died.
OK, so it’s not an incredibly well written story, and it has many flaws. The important thing is, killing yourself with Divine power in order to kill a planetful of demons has got to be one of the most interesting ways to die.
Well, If I ever got the urge, I suppose I’d simply walk into Sheba’s enclosure with a chicken under each arm, after rubbing myself with rotten fish juice.
That ought to do it.
Oh yeah, Sheba’s the zoo’s American Alligator. There’s a fair amount of her.
In his book To Ride, Shoot Straight, and Speak the Truth, Jeff Cooper tells the (true) story of how his neighbor committed suicide. He was the first person on the scene. The guy managed to shoot himself in the head with a 30-caliber Enfield rifle.
The tongue was the highest part of the body. One eye was lying in the middle of the living room. On either side of the chair were the two haves of the cerebellum, perfectly separated down the center.
Jeff looked at the ceiling to find the bullet hole. There was none.
A subsequent investigation revealed that the neighbor removed the bullet from a cartridge, then carefully loaded the cartridge (still containing the propellant) into the gun’s chamber. Only gas came out of the barrel, albeit at a very high velocity. The gas entered his skull and split his head open like a cantaloupe.