# Internet doctors, please lend assistance **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 17, 2012, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/internet-doctors-please-lend-assistance/619009 "2012-04-17T04:04:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![CheeseDonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecae2f/32.png) [@CheeseDonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CheeseDonkey)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2012, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/internet-doctors-please-lend-assistance/619009/1 "2012-04-17T04:04:13Z")
What strange malady do you think is afflicting me? Symptoms: Raspy voice/lost voice Green poop Minimal coughing Occasional sneeze Minimal mucous No fever I don’t really “feel” sick. I just have peculiar symptoms. Just curious. And kindly no “just go see a doctor” responses…I can’t really go see a doctor at 12 o clock at night. I know that if I can’t kick this on my own in a couple days, I’ll have to see one. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2012, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/internet-doctors-please-lend-assistance/619009/2 "2012-04-17T04:10:29Z")
Medical advice is more appropriate for IMHO than GQ. Colibri General Questions Moderator ---
**Author:** ![voltaire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voltaire/32/313_2.png) [@voltaire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voltaire)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2012, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/internet-doctors-please-lend-assistance/619009/3 "2012-04-17T04:25:19Z")
The green poop is probably just the food coloring/dye in something you’re eating. I know I get neon green poop from artificially purple stuff, like grape-flavored drinks. ETA: I think I’ve also gotten it from black jellybeans. ---
**Author:** ![heavyarms553](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/779978/32.png) [@heavyarms553](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/heavyarms553)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2012, 5:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/internet-doctors-please-lend-assistance/619009/4 "2012-04-17T05:47:25Z")
Anxiety. ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2012, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/internet-doctors-please-lend-assistance/619009/5 "2012-04-17T16:04:54Z")
Green poop can also come from iron suppliments, or a diet heavy in iron [iron rich water, or cooking exclusively in cast iron cooking tools that are inadequately seasoned] ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_I\_Am](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e495f1/32.png) [@Sam\_I\_Am](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_I_Am)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2012, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/internet-doctors-please-lend-assistance/619009/6 "2012-04-17T20:30:10Z")
mild virus or allergy causing post nasal drip. It does wacky things to poop! ---
**Author:** ![TheChileanBlob](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thechileanblob/32/435_2.png) [@TheChileanBlob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheChileanBlob)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2012, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/internet-doctors-please-lend-assistance/619009/7 "2012-04-17T20:32:54Z")
> [@Sam\_I\_Am](#): > > mild virus or allergy causing post nasal drip. It does wacky things to poop! I concur with my fellow internet physician. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2012, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/internet-doctors-please-lend-assistance/619009/8 "2012-04-17T20:37:55Z")
I love how the green poop is the symptom that everyone’s latching onto. Just for fun, I googled “green poop,” and I came up with—I shit you not—[http://www.greenpoop.org/](http://www.greenpoop.org/) and [http://www.greenpoop.net/](http://www.greenpoop.net/). ---
**Author:** ![voltaire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voltaire/32/313_2.png) [@voltaire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voltaire)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2012, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/internet-doctors-please-lend-assistance/619009/9 "2012-04-17T20:56:30Z")
> [@Thudlow\_Boink](#): > > I love how the green poop is the symptom that everyone’s latching onto. Other than the rather mundane raspy voice, there really aren’t any other significant symptoms there to latch onto. ---
**Author:** ![CheeseDonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecae2f/32.png) [@CheeseDonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CheeseDonkey)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2012, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/internet-doctors-please-lend-assistance/619009/10 "2012-04-17T22:27:02Z")
I went to WebMD and according to their symptom program, I have a “common cold.”