# Introducing Iain... **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 17, 2001, 11:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/introducing-iain/65709 "2001-05-17T11:44:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2001, 11:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/introducing-iain/65709/1 "2001-05-17T11:44:55Z")
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Iain Paisley. Now, I could go into depth about how this man is an evil, depraved, two faced, incompetent, sectarian, disrespectful, hate filled soul, who deserves to be placed under Judas at the bottom of Dante’s inferno, but I’m not going to. I could tell you about how he promotes gerrymander, and the treatment of Catholics in the 6 counties as second class citizens (basically his own little Apartheid), but I wont. I could tell you about how he parades his doctorate that he was awarded by a Christian (and I use this in the loosest sense of the word) University in the bible belt, but I wont. I talk about his latest attack on the threat to his one true church. Line Dancing. Yes, not content with calling the Pope “Antichrist” to his face, or founding “Non Sectarian” associations like Ulster Defence, he has decided to safeguard the afterlives of all true christians by attacking this “incitement to lust” Full text of this can be read here. [http://breaking.examiner.ie/story.asp?j=9093280&p=9093986&n=9094040](http://breaking.examiner.ie/story.asp?j=9093280&p=9093986&n=9094040) You know its a good day when ignorance fights itself. ---
**Author:** ![tevya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4491bb/32.png) [@tevya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tevya)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2001, 11:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/introducing-iain/65709/2 "2001-05-17T11:56:21Z")
I’d say that line dancing was more evil than sinful. Not becuase it incites lust but instead because it makes an entire dance floor filled with people look like empty headed jackasses. But I don’t think that warrants destruction by God. Maybe just mandatory dance lessons at their local Arthur Miller School of Dance. ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2001, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/introducing-iain/65709/3 "2001-05-17T12:02:43Z")
Nice to know Ireland has its very own Pat Buchanan, too. I like this, though: > [@](#): > > “Christians who enjoy line-dancing will be ‘destroyed by God’”. ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Kumquat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4491bb/32.png) [@Gary\_Kumquat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Kumquat)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2001, 12:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/introducing-iain/65709/4 "2001-05-17T12:11:48Z")
Ah, good to see he’s being as diligent as ever in protecting the morally vulnerable (i.e. everyone other than himself) . I do like the way thought that he decries that > [@](#): > > Line dancing is as sinful as any other type of dancing, with its sexual gestures and touching How to stop kids from doing something - describe it as sexual and “sensual”. ---
**Author:** ![Tabithina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f04885/32.png) [@Tabithina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tabithina)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2001, 12:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/introducing-iain/65709/5 "2001-05-17T12:20:12Z")
Unbelievable! I wonder how many decent christians will end up in Line Dancing Hell. [sub]Wait a minute—Line Dancing Hell is just a few miles down the road from here, in a big corrugated metal building![/sub] ---
**Author:** ![TomH](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/90db22/32.png) [@TomH](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TomH)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2001, 12:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/introducing-iain/65709/6 "2001-05-17T12:46:15Z")
Well, I never thought I’d find myself agreeing with Ian (_sic_) Paisley, but I can’t help feeling that if God were to smite down line dancers it might not be such a bad thing. By the way, isn’t William McCrea, one of of his fellow DUP MPs, a gold-disc-winning country and western singer? > [@](#): > > I could tell you about how he parades his doctorate that he was awarded by a Christian (and I use this in the loosest sense of the word) University in the bible belt, but I wont. Don’t forget his status as a minister of religion which, IFAIK, he awarded himself. ---
**Author:** ![Sir\_Doris](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5ac83/32.png) [@Sir\_Doris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sir_Doris)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2001, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/introducing-iain/65709/7 "2001-05-17T12:50:14Z")
This is my favourite story of the day. He must have been listening to “The Archers” after the other night’s episode where dirty dancing met line dancing. It looks like you can still get to heaven so long as you don’t _enjoy_ line-dancing. So I’m ok then. ---
**Author:** ![Sir\_Doris](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5ac83/32.png) [@Sir\_Doris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sir_Doris)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2001, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/introducing-iain/65709/8 "2001-05-17T13:04:57Z")
This is my favourite story of the day. He must have been listening to “The Archers” after the other night’s episode where dirty dancing met line dancing. It looks like you can still get to heaven so long as you don’t _enjoy_ line-dancing. So I’m ok then. ---
**Author:** ![yojimbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yojimbo/32/232_2.png) [@yojimbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yojimbo)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2001, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/introducing-iain/65709/9 "2001-05-17T13:43:46Z")
Iain says **NO** to line dancing, well there’s a surprise :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![hawthorne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@hawthorne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hawthorne)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2001, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/introducing-iain/65709/10 "2001-05-17T15:49:36Z")
Slight hijack: I remember seeing a debate between Jerry Falwell and (then NZ PM) David Lange from the Oxford Debating Union in the mid 1980s. Students may interpose questions, and during Falwell’s speech a weedy student approached the lecturn and prefaced his question with, “You are welcome here as the American answer to Iain Paisley…” to much laughter. Falwell looked confused. “Who is Iain Paisley?” The reply: “He is the Irish Ayatolla Khomeini.” ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2001, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/introducing-iain/65709/11 "2001-05-17T15:54:51Z")
I can guarantee that Iain spouted off at least one fact. There WILL be linedancing in hell. ---
**Author:** ![ruadh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d2c977/32.png) [@ruadh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ruadh)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2001, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/introducing-iain/65709/12 "2001-05-17T20:30:28Z")
> [@](#): > > I could tell you about how he parades his doctorate that he was awarded by a Christian (and I use this in the loosest sense of the word) University in the bible belt That would be Bob Jones University … the one that wouldn’t let black folk attend until they were forced to, and then barred them from dating their white wimmin. My only question is - with Northern demographics going the way they’re going, shouldn’t Big Ian be **encouraging** his people to breed? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![kellibelli](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e480ec/32.png) [@kellibelli](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kellibelli)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2001, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/introducing-iain/65709/13 "2001-05-17T22:13:14Z")
The more I hear people say: “You are going to hell”… the more I think “GOOD!!” Honestly, if there WAS a ‘god’ would he appoint losers like this to ‘spread the word’? And shouldnt ‘god’ be more concerned with REAL problems in the world other than LINE DANCING??? (like helping people win grammies for example) \*\*I dont line dance, but I have seen it done and while the cool part of me automatically puts them down, the part of me that sings in the car thinks: “I wish I could do that!” ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2001, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/introducing-iain/65709/14 "2001-05-17T22:49:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ruadh \* > That would be Bob Jones University … the one that wouldn’t let black folk attend until they were forced to, and then barred them from dating their white wimmin. More accurately: BJU permits interracial dating **provided the parents of the individuals dating interracially approve _in writing in advance_ of said interracial dating.** ---
**Author:** ![beagledave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6de8d8/32.png) [@beagledave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beagledave)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2001, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/introducing-iain/65709/15 "2001-05-17T22:52:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by kellibelli \* > Honestly, if there WAS a ‘god’ would he appoint losers like this to ‘spread the word’? Oh please. God did not appoint numb-nuts Paisley… I think it’s fair to say we could find morons in just about any belief system, political party or social cause that is interested in “spreading the word” about its beliefs. Do eco-terrorists (like Earth First) who proudly burn down houses in suburbia make the Sierra Club, or the Audubon Society a meaningless organization? ---
**Author:** ![Odieman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a87d85/32.png) [@Odieman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odieman)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2001, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/introducing-iain/65709/16 "2001-05-17T23:10:00Z")
I have been following Iain Paisley’s antics for a long time, I always figured when he dies his tomb stone will read “Here Lies Iain Paisley Born:xxxx -died :xxxx , brain death occuring approximately fifty years before physical date of death.” ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2001, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/introducing-iain/65709/17 "2001-05-17T23:15:45Z")
Hey, hey, hey, now! Obviously none of you have ever seen _me_ line dance. Or two-step. Or waltz or swing or shuffle. The charm, the grace, the splendor, the artistry that is… _Esprix_ in a cowboy hat. 😉 Esprix ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2001, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/introducing-iain/65709/18 "2001-05-17T23:34:45Z")
I had to take line dancing in gym…it was kinda fun, actually. Although I prefer a good polka. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2001, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/introducing-iain/65709/19 "2001-05-18T00:23:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Esprix \* > \*\*Hey, hey, hey, now! > > Obviously none of you have ever seen _me_ line dance. Or two-step. Or waltz or swing or shuffle. The charm, the grace, the splendor, the artistry that is… _Esprix_ in a cowboy hat. > > 😉 > > Esprix \*\* _ **jayjay** thinks of Esprix in tight jeans, cowboy shirt and hat, and boots, doin’ the Boot Scoot Boogie…_ . . . . . . . . . Hunh?! Wha?! Um…carry on… 😃 jayjay ---
**Author:** ![The\_Man\_Who](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c2a13f/32.png) [@The\_Man\_Who](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Man_Who)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2001, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/introducing-iain/65709/20 "2001-05-18T00:25:35Z")
If you don’t know Jesus in your heart, Your achy-breaky heart, I just don’t think you’d understand. Cuz if you don’t know Jesus in your heart, Your achy-breaky heart, God will surely reach down and smite that man. -Myron [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/introducing-iain/65709.md?page=2)