# Introversion **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 22, 2010, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/introversion/547551 "2010-07-22T02:33:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 6\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Perciful](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b38774/32.png) [@Perciful](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Perciful)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2010, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/introversion/547551/41 "2010-07-25T13:17:55Z")
> [@salinqmind](#): > > I’ve always been an introvert, as a child I could entertain myself for hours on end. At age 14, I was so shy it was disgusting. I remember the sheer agony of getting dressed up and walking to a school dance (I forced myself, it was something I HAD to do for my own good - couldn’t spend the rest of my life sitting in my room reading!)… I still don’t like crowds, but I can deal with them as long as I know there’s a definite “I really have to leave now” time!. I can go to the beach or the state fair or a movie, and actually have a better time going alone, I can blend in, do my thing, leave when I’m ready… One thing about getting older, you sort of turn invisible. If I’m at a meeting or wedding reception or whatever, filled with strangers, I can exchange a few polite words with someone at my table and sit there quietly in my own little world without worrying how I look, how I sound, how I’m coming across. Chill! If someone wants to talk to me, I manage to talk back. If not, well, I’m that harmless, quiet woman taking up space over there, no big deal. Oh my God we must be soul sisters. I honestly could have wrote this myself. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2010, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/introversion/547551/42 "2010-07-25T13:19:52Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > Inigo: I, at least, find a gathering of introverts to be more comfortable. Especially if there are lots of beanbag chairs, lava lamps and Pink Floyd. So everyone’s got a good reason to kick back and not talk much. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2010, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/introversion/547551/43 "2010-07-26T21:22:12Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > Inigo: I, at least, find a gathering of introverts to be more comfortable. Interesting. I find hanging out with other introverts exclusively to be far **more** uncomfortable than being with a mixed group or only extroverts. Why? I feel more pressure to think of things to say to other introverts, and that’s stressful - probably because I’m not _so_ introverted that I like “companionable silences.” Extroverts are thrilled to carry a conversation, so there’s less to worry about with some of them around. ---
**Author:** ![Perciful](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b38774/32.png) [@Perciful](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Perciful)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2010, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/introversion/547551/44 "2010-07-28T00:16:43Z")
> [@elfkin477](#): > > > [@BigT](#): > > > > Inigo: I, at least, find a gathering of introverts to be more comfortable. > > Interesting. I find hanging out with other introverts exclusively to be far **more** uncomfortable than being with a mixed group or only extroverts. Why? I feel more pressure to think of things to say to other introverts, and that’s stressful - probably because I’m not _so_ introverted that I like “companionable silences.” Extroverts are thrilled to carry a conversation, so there’s less to worry about with some of them around. I’m only an introvert at home. In public I’m friendly and talkative at times. At work I’m nose to the grindstone but friendly. I just could not be that way all the time. I like the term “compatable silences”. Some people just hit you with non stop chatter it feels like being hit with bullets. Talk to me, not at me. It exhausts me and I need to go home to get some silence. I Am Much Too Alone in This World, Yet Not Alone by Rainer Maria Rilke Translated by Annemarie S. Kidder I am much too alone in this world, yet not alone enough to truly consecrate the hour. I am much too small in this world, yet not small enough to be to you just object and thing, dark and smart. I want my free will and want it accompanying the path which leads to action; and want during times that beg questions, where something is up, to be among those in the know, or else be alone. ---
**Author:** ![john\_b\_2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a9a28c/32.png) [@john\_b\_2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/john_b_2)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2010, 6:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/introversion/547551/45 "2010-07-28T06:46:42Z")
I like people and I like solitude. Problem is: in my opinion, we live in a very extroverted or (if you will) other-directed culture, in America, I mean, and the vast majority of even highly educated people I know are essentially extroverts, which isn’t to say they’re social butterflies or blabbermouths but they take their “social clues” from their class, think and behave in ways appropriate to that class, whether it’s reading matter. movies, music, politics or theater. This is what drives me up and wall and far more into inner directedness than I would wish. The “small, still voice” is no longer valued these days, or so it seems, and we live in what’s coming to feel increasing like a “groupthink” world. As a result, I’m highly introverted. I’d rather only moderately introverted. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2010, 6:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/introversion/547551/46 "2010-07-28T06:56:17Z")
> [@elfkin477](#): > > > [@BigT](#): > > > > Inigo: I, at least, find a gathering of introverts to be more comfortable. > > Interesting. I find hanging out with other introverts exclusively to be far **more** uncomfortable than being with a mixed group or only extroverts. Why? I feel more pressure to think of things to say to other introverts, and that’s stressful - probably because I’m not _so_ introverted that I like “companionable silences.” Extroverts are thrilled to carry a conversation, so there’s less to worry about with some of them around. I don’t “hang out” with groups that are majority introverts, but I do go to gatherings where most people are introverts. The difference is that the gatherings have calendars, goals, activities, i.e., something to talk about if you want; at the same time, if someone is sitting on a sofa with a soda in his hand, just “watching the crowds go by”, nobody feels an obligation to sit down with them or “draw them out”, watching the crowds go by is a perfectly acceptable activity in crowds of introverts. I’ve had introverts ask (and I’ve asked it myself) “you ok there?” and if the answer is “yep”, it’s believed and the person is left alone. When they want to talk with someone, they will. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/introversion/547551.md?page=2)