# Invading someone else's space? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 29, 2022, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/invading-someone-elses-space/961934 "2022-03-29T19:45:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Machine\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2022, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/invading-someone-elses-space/961934/1 "2022-03-29T19:45:00Z")
> [@So Will Smith punched Chris Rock at the Oscars last night](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-will-smith-punched-chris-rock-at-the-oscars-last-night/961826/122): > > Mrs. Odesio and I were car shopping in Little Rock and at the first dealer we went to she would ask the sales associate a question and instead of answering her he would look at me and answer the question. I was bemused by this at first but as this continued I could see that my wife was hurt and angry. No, I didn’t respond by slugging the salesman in his face. But I invaded his space, got right in his face, and raised my voice telling him that when she asked him a question he needed to answer her and not _me._ > [@So Will Smith punched Chris Rock at the Oscars last night](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-will-smith-punched-chris-rock-at-the-oscars-last-night/961826/246): > > My intention was to make him both uncomfortable and for him to understand why I was unhappy with the situation. Basically I decided the relationship could not be salvaged as I would not purchase an automobile from these people no matter what. As I had no intention of hitting him, it didn’t occur to me that he might strike me. Can you explain what you meant by making him “uncomfortable?” If I’m talking to someone and they raise their voice, OK, I understand they’re angry. But if that’s accompanied by the person also invading my space, getting right in my face, that would feel to me like a threat of physical violence. Have you ever tried doing that to a police officer? If so, how did they react? ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2022, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/invading-someone-elses-space/961934/2 "2022-03-29T20:52:56Z")
I’m going to launch this question to a new thread. It doesn’t belong in this thread. ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2022, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/invading-someone-elses-space/961934/3 "2022-03-29T20:58:40Z")
I just want to say, I was heartily amused when I saw a thread that showed the avatar of the latest poster (you, with a Ukrainian flag) and the title, “Invading someone else’s space?” ---
**Author:** ![UltraVires](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ecccb3/32.png) [@UltraVires](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UltraVires)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2022, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/invading-someone-elses-space/961934/4 "2022-03-29T22:23:14Z")
> [@Machine\_Elf](#): > > If I’m talking to someone and they raise their voice, OK, I understand they’re angry. But if that’s accompanied by the person also invading my space, getting right in my face, that would feel to me like a threat of physical violence. I agree. It sounds like a textbook assault to me. That is you are intentionally committing an act which would put a reasonable person in fear of an imminent battery. Of course, it is always to be decided by a jury, but others in the other thread mentioned Buzz Aldrin. I think he would have had a good argument that by him repeatedly trying to disengage and the lunatic pushing the Bible at him to swear on it that what the other guy did was an assault that he was defending himself from. ---
**Author:** ![Odesio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/odesio/32/20003_2.png) [@Odesio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odesio)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2022, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/invading-someone-elses-space/961934/5 "2022-03-29T22:36:49Z")
> [@Machine\_Elf](#): > > Can you explain what you meant by making him “uncomfortable?” If I’m talking to someone and they raise their voice, OK, I understand they’re angry. But if that’s accompanied by the person also invading my space, getting right in my face, that would feel to me like a threat of physical violence. I intended for him to feel awkward and uneasy. You know, the opposite of comfortable. > [@Machine\_Elf](#): > > Have you ever tried doing that to a police officer? If so, how did they react? I think the worst I’ve ever done to a police officer was give him a stern look and ask, “Do you _really_ need to see my ID?” But given that police officers currently have a reputation for being trigger happy, no, I’ve not behaved that way to one. But then I’m not black, so I’d probably be able to get away with it just fine. > [@UltraVires](#): > > I agree. It sounds like a textbook assault to me. That is you are intentionally committing an act which would put a reasonable person in fear of an imminent battery. Here in Arkansas, “A person commits assault in the third degree if he or she purposely creates apprehension of imminent physical injury in another person.” I wonder how many people are arrested in Arkansas for getting close to someone and raising their voices? Anyone have any idea? ---
**Author:** ![UltraVires](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ecccb3/32.png) [@UltraVires](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UltraVires)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2022, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/invading-someone-elses-space/961934/6 "2022-03-29T22:42:53Z")
I’m not the OP, but I don’t think the OP was asking the probability of you getting away with the crime. As discussed in the other thread, assaults and batteries happen all of the time, and they are mostly not reported for various reasons. If the question is, did you commit an assault, then the answer is likely yes as the OP said. If the question is, would you get caught, or would you be arrested, the answer is “it depends.” ---
**Author:** ![Odesio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/odesio/32/20003_2.png) [@Odesio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odesio)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2022, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/invading-someone-elses-space/961934/7 "2022-03-29T22:43:47Z")
Can you please cite a source that I likely committed assault as defined by the state of Arkansas? ---
**Author:** ![UltraVires](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ecccb3/32.png) [@UltraVires](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UltraVires)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2022, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/invading-someone-elses-space/961934/8 "2022-03-29T22:44:48Z")
Your own. You are in his face, angry, and yelling at him. It would be reasonable to fear that the next step is a shove or a punch. ---
**Author:** ![Odesio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/odesio/32/20003_2.png) [@Odesio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odesio)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2022, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/invading-someone-elses-space/961934/9 "2022-03-29T22:46:39Z")
Woah, you’re creating a different scenario here. At no point did I say I yelled at him all I said was that I raised my voice. Yes, other people heard me raise my voice but I wasn’t yelling. ---
**Author:** ![UltraVires](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ecccb3/32.png) [@UltraVires](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UltraVires)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2022, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/invading-someone-elses-space/961934/10 "2022-03-29T22:48:45Z")
Okay, but you got in his face. And you admitted that you did it to make him feel “uncomfortable.” Uncomfortable about what? You could have sat across the desk and yelled at him. The close proximity would lead a reasonable person to think that you were ready to throw down. ---
**Author:** ![Odesio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/odesio/32/20003_2.png) [@Odesio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odesio)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2022, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/invading-someone-elses-space/961934/11 "2022-03-29T22:50:30Z")
> [@UltraVires](#): > > Okay, but you got in his face. And you admitted that you did it to make him feel “uncomfortable.” Uncomfortable about what? Uncomfortable about his comments. > [@UltraVires](#): > > You could have sat across the desk and yelled at him. The close proximity would lead a reasonable person to think that you were ready to throw down. As we were all standing at the time it would have been rather odd for us to have a nice little sit down at that point. All it required was me taking a step or two forward. ---
**Author:** ![Retzbu\_Tox](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/retzbu_tox/32/11829_2.png) [@Retzbu\_Tox](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Retzbu_Tox)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2022, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/invading-someone-elses-space/961934/12 "2022-03-29T23:11:06Z")
It sounds like Odesio was trying to use nonverbal communication and posturing to convey assertiveness, not aggressiveness. “Pay attention to what I am saying because I am serious”, and not “I am getting ready to knock your block off.” There can be a fine line, and sometimes you gotta be there and witness it yourself to see the difference. If your face is red, your expression is angry, and your hands are making fists, then you are more likely over the line. 😁 ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Bravo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_bravo/32/493_2.png) [@Johnny\_Bravo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Bravo)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2022, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/invading-someone-elses-space/961934/13 "2022-03-29T23:19:28Z")
> [@Odesio](#): > > Woah, you’re creating a different scenario here. At no point did I say I yelled at him all I said was that I raised my voice. Yes, other people heard me raise my voice but I wasn’t yelling. If **he** felt that you were likely to escalate to violence, you may have committed assault. It doesn’t matter if, in your head, you were going to follow through. A more extreme situation: I pull a knife out and waggle my eyebrows while running it across my tongue. I would never in a million years actually stab him, but he doesn’t know that. He thinks I might do it. That is assault. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2022, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/invading-someone-elses-space/961934/14 "2022-03-29T23:20:40Z")
> [@UltraVires](#): > > Okay, but you got in his face. And you admitted that you did it to make him feel “uncomfortable.” Uncomfortable about what? Uncomfortable about upsetting a Big Man. ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2022, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/invading-someone-elses-space/961934/15 "2022-03-29T23:38:21Z")
I had a similar situation occur when the Mrs. and I were looking at new cars for her. Never felt the need to intimidate or make the sales guy uneasy. Just reolved it by wandering away for a while and let her do all the talking. Didn’t take long for the guy to realize trying to direct his salesmanship at me was like talking to a blank wall or someone who dien’t really care. He immediately engaged with my wife and the transaction went fine. ---
**Author:** ![Icarus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/icarus/32/72_2.png) [@Icarus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Icarus)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2022, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/invading-someone-elses-space/961934/16 "2022-03-29T23:39:59Z")
Honestly, the quotes in the OP references a car salesman. I would say that many of them are very accustomed to people getting heated with them (in their face, raised voices, name calling), as a negotiating stance. So, in this case, no big deal. ---
**Author:** ![Machine\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2022, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/invading-someone-elses-space/961934/17 "2022-03-30T01:52:11Z")
> [@Odesio](#): > > I intended for him to feel awkward and uneasy. You know, the opposite of comfortable. Invading a stranger’s personal space and making sexual overtures is likely to make them feel awkward and uneasy. Invading a stranger’s personal space - “[getting] right in his face”, as you put it - and raising your voice is likely to make them feel a sense of imminent danger. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2022, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/invading-someone-elses-space/961934/18 "2022-03-30T02:18:37Z")
> [@Johnny\_Bravo](#): > > If **he** felt that you were likely to escalate to violence, you may have committed assault. It doesn’t matter if, in your head, you were going to follow through. > > A more extreme situation: I pull a knife out and waggle my eyebrows while running it across my tongue. I would never in a million years actually stab him, but he doesn’t know that. He thinks I might do it. That is assault. As an aside: what is it if you point a fake pistol at someone and — while they believe it’s a for-real loaded gun — you pull the trigger? ---
**Author:** ![Odesio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/odesio/32/20003_2.png) [@Odesio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odesio)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2022, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/invading-someone-elses-space/961934/19 "2022-03-30T02:48:57Z")
> [@Machine\_Elf](#): > > Invading a stranger’s personal space and making sexual overtures is likely to make them feel awkward and uneasy. I wish I had thought of that instead. ---
**Author:** ![UltraVires](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ecccb3/32.png) [@UltraVires](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UltraVires)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2022, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/invading-someone-elses-space/961934/20 "2022-03-30T03:14:23Z")
> [@Johnny\_Bravo](#): > > If **he** felt that you were likely to escalate to violence, you may have committed assault. It doesn’t matter if, in your head, you were going to follow through. Nitpick: AR law seems different, but at common law, and in most states, it is not whether he subjectively felt it may escalate to violence. It is whether a reasonable person in his situation, given the facts, circumstances, and surroundings would fear imminent offensive or harmful contact. So, generally, if I get in Mike Tyson’s face and scream and yell that I’m going to kick his ass or throw a punch at him and miss, I am guilty of assault, even if Mike testifies that a punch from me would be like a fly landing on his head. Likewise, if Karen McKarenson, an unreasonable person who fears everything including her own shadow, is subjectively afraid of something I did, but no reasonable person would have been, then I am not guilty. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/invading-someone-elses-space/961934.md?page=2)