# Invention(s) Du Jour **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 27, 2000, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/invention-s-du-jour/13131 "2000-01-27T06:11:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![gouda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c77e96/32.png) [@gouda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gouda)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2002, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/invention-s-du-jour/13131/21 "2002-10-17T13:54:47Z")
A CD drive with the eject button _above_ the tray. ---
**Author:** ![gouda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c77e96/32.png) [@gouda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gouda)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2002, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/invention-s-du-jour/13131/22 "2002-10-17T13:58:17Z")
**Carine** , your idea is already being worked upon by several European car manufacturers. The intensity of the brake light will depend on how the pedal is depressed - slowly, suddenly, etc. ---
**Author:** ![Legomancer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/779978/32.png) [@Legomancer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Legomancer)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2002, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/invention-s-du-jour/13131/23 "2002-10-17T14:35:01Z")
**Carine** , I was just about to post the same thing. So I’ll offer my other car-related idea: THREE horns, with various tones. One is a cheery little thing for the “hey, I know you!” or “I’m honking because I love Jebus!” honk. The non-threatening honk. One would be a warning honk. It’s the “Hey, you’re backing up and I’m not sure if you see me” honk. The third is the “WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?” horn. It’s actually a really poor idea, but I think someone in Detroit would like it enough to give me money for it. ---
**Author:** ![Zazie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Zazie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zazie)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2002, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/invention-s-du-jour/13131/24 "2002-10-17T14:41:32Z")
What Gouda?!?!?! serious?! I am from Europe, I’ve never seen that? Somebody stole my idea!! I agree with your idea Legomancer!! I always though of having a neon sign on the back windshield saying either “sorry!” or “F.U.”!! so people know… ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2002, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/invention-s-du-jour/13131/25 "2002-10-17T15:01:34Z")
My car-related inventions: -First, I want Them to pass a law mandating this invention on all cars. If you want to make a turn – even switching lanes – you have to have had your turn signal on for at least 2 seconds. Forget to signal? Sorry, buddy – you missed your turn. It would have an emergency feature allowing you to make the turn without signaling first, but you’d only have 30 seconds to drive before your car shut down; you’d need a cop to turn your car back on. Similarly, once you switch your turn signal on, you have 10 seconds to make the turn, before your car automatically turns for you. Didja get onto the highway, (properly) signaling left, that you were merging, and then you forgot to turn the signal off? Bam! You’re on the center divider, buddy, and we’re all laughing at you! Okay, that’s my first invention. Second invention – and nobody gets this one but me – is a tractor beam on my car, like the one UFOs come equipped with. Are you tailgating me, you fool? Are you weaving in and out of traffic like a caffeinated wombat? Are you cutting me off? Watch as I lift you into the air with my tractor beam! Watch as I wave you around comically above the highway! Watch as I gently deposit you off to the side of the road where you can’t hurt anyone! I thought, of course, about laser beams and guided missiles and disintegrate-o-rays, but I think the tractor beam would be the most satisfying. Finally, an improvement on **cblackhand’s** invention: all telephones should come equipped with a robotic thumb and forefinger situated just above the earpiece. My telephone should have the flick-o-matic button on it, so that when I’m talking with someone particularly stupid, I can thump them on the forehead, even as I shout, “Hello! Helllooooo! Is there anybody home!” from a distance. Daniel ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2002, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/invention-s-du-jour/13131/26 "2002-10-17T15:25:46Z")
\*\*Another car related one \*\* If you are one your car phone while driving, there should be some kind of mechanism that a) automatically makes your car go into the slow/left lane b) a marquee light that lights up in back that tells everyone that “Driver On Cell” warning, so that people can avoid you like a Student Driver. I would also like to see some kind of system for vaccuuming out my car with lesser effort. All cars should just have rubber flooring like a work truck so that all that is needed is a garden hose to clean the thing out. So it would really stink on a hot day…minor problem. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2002, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/invention-s-du-jour/13131/27 "2002-10-17T15:29:09Z")
Another cell phone invention that a friend of mine in a manly job wants to see invented: A button for manly men to press when talking with their wives on the phone that give responses like “Yes dear” “I’m sorry. " " MMMM” and the ever popular , " I love you." so they can save face when surrounded by other manly men. ---
**Author:** ![Gazelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Gazelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gazelle)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2002, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/invention-s-du-jour/13131/28 "2002-10-17T16:31:27Z")
How about this one: [Tagless Shirts! Finally!](http://www.usatoday.com/life/2002-10-17-shirt_x.htm) ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2003, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/invention-s-du-jour/13131/29 "2003-02-08T04:32:33Z")
::::This Thread Is Not Dead Yet::::::::: \*\*All Shopping Related \*\* I would like to see some kind of coat check/valet parking service at all major grocery stores. In the winter, my coat and the kids’ coats take up a large chunk of the cart. Also, **I need this and have needed this for years:** Some kind of computer program that you type in what you need as you think of it for your list: Yogurt bologna soap shoes for Jr. And when you hit ‘enter’, it is all put into the catagory of the store: Aisle 1 - produce: need nothing. Aisle 2: Cereal- Two boxes of Life. Dairy - 2-gallons of milk… Aisle 4 - right side:Bag of Starbucks, box of herbal tea, creamer. Left side: Juice. This would make planning a shopping trip easier and more organized and the person buying the software would have to do the initial run through the store to put in what aisles are what at the store. Program options could help you route your trip through the megamarts in the most efficent manner, thus saving money and energy. If some one would invent this, all I ask if for 10% of sales and a life time supply of upgrades. Also, I would like to see some kind of radar system that allows people to monitor the check out lanes at any store. If I knew the lines were ungodly long at check out, I would grab some magazines in back and read them while in line, and deposit them next to the weekly world news’ when I am done. and I still want the peanut butter slices ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2003, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/invention-s-du-jour/13131/30 "2003-02-08T04:45:38Z")
Holy smokes! An artificial brain! That way when the program faults, we will have the ultimate excuse for being totally helpless and abjectly stupid! Cool ---
**Author:** ![LifeOnWry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/96bed5/32.png) [@LifeOnWry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LifeOnWry)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2003, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/invention-s-du-jour/13131/31 "2003-02-08T05:00:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Gazelle from Hell \* > \*\ ***A** house vacuum. Not a vacuum cleaner. A vacuum. > > Everything in the house would have to be nailed, glued or velcroed securely. Family leaves the house, then the master or mistress of the house flips a switch and the house vacuum turns on. It sucks all the free-floating dirt and dust out of the house in ten minutes. The dust is sucked into a large, conventional trashbag located in the garage. \*\* I have always wanted a flushable house. Or at the very least a “save” option for that moment when the cleaning lady leaves. Kids come in, make messes, I hit the switch: “Do you want to save changes made to this house since the cleaning lady left?” “No.” :::blink:::::PING! House is restored to its former sparkling glory. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2003, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/invention-s-du-jour/13131/32 "2003-02-08T22:37:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Gazelle from Hell \* > \*\ ***A** house vacuum. Not a vacuum cleaner. A vacuum. > > Everything in the house would have to be nailed, glued or velcroed securely. Family leaves the house, then the master or mistress of the house flips a switch and the house vacuum turns on. It sucks all the free-floating dirt and dust out of the house in ten minutes. The dust is sucked into a large, conventional trashbag located in the garage. \*\* The airflow required from a central suck system to pull resident dust from a coffee table would pull kitty off the litter pan. I’d go with Rosie from the Jetsons, a robotic maid. Unless she had a Windows based program. ---
**Author:** ![DirkGntly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d9b06d/32.png) [@DirkGntly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DirkGntly)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2003, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/invention-s-du-jour/13131/33 "2003-02-09T04:55:22Z")
> [@](#): > > Also, I need this and have needed this for years: Some kind of computer program that you type in what you need as you think of it for your list: > > Yogurt > bologna > soap > shoes for Jr. > > And when you hit ‘enter’, it is all put into the catagory of the store: > > Aisle 1 - produce: need nothing. > > Aisle 2: Cereal- Two boxes of Life. > > Dairy - 2-gallons of milk… > > Aisle 4 - right side:Bag of Starbucks, box of herbal tea, creamer. > Left side: Juice. > > This would make planning a shopping trip easier and more organized and the person buying the software would have to do the initial run through the store to put in what aisles are what at the store. Program options could help you route your trip through the megamarts in the most efficent manner, thus saving money and energy. Shirley: I’ve done this…this is how it works: Our local Megalo-Grocery-Mart actually has a STORE MAP that shows the items on each aisle, just like the signs on each aisle do. I took this map home, and created a nifty little spreadsheet that has all of our groceries categorized by aisle. When it’s shopping time, the spreadsheet gets updated with a “yes/no” checkbox and the quantity by each item. We then just go to the store and the appropriate aisle and BINGO, we’re done in HALF the time…the REALLY cool thing, is that ANYONE can do your shopping for you, if you’re in a pinch! It took a little while to setup the spreadsheet, but it wasn’t all that bad. Also, I have to update the “map” about twice a year, when they change their layout a bit, but that’s not too bad, either… ---
**Author:** ![Lissa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lissa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissa)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2003, 6:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/invention-s-du-jour/13131/34 "2003-02-09T06:38:48Z")
A microwave refrigerator: basically, it would chill food as quickly as a microwave heats. No more warm beer! No more waiting for the jello to set! Make ice cubes in an instant! An automatic de-stinker. Dog farting? Fried some fish for dinner? \* Burned \* the fish you fried for dinner? Contingent of smokers visited? Someone left the bathroom in a malodorous condition? Well, gasp and choke no more! It’s the whole house de-stinker! A sensor is plugged into an ordinary electrical outlet in each room which detects odors, simultaneously filters the air and dispenses a pleasing scent. ---
**Author:** ![petcat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/5fc32e/32.png) [@petcat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/petcat)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2003, 7:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/invention-s-du-jour/13131/35 "2003-02-09T07:19:32Z")
> [@](#): > > I would also like to see some kind of system for vaccuuming out my car with lesser effort. All cars should just have rubber flooring like a work truck so that all that is needed is a garden hose to clean the thing out. So it would really stink on a hot day…minor problem. - Shirley Ujest I agree, but lately I’ve been wanting a 12v car vacuum with no bag. Just hang it out the door or window and suck the crumbs and stuff back outside! (This means you should deal with paper yourself) And for you cigarette users who think it’s ok to toss a butt out the window let me just say I hope YOU get one caught inside your motorcycle helmet one day - jerks. ---
**Author:** ![Black\_Train\_Song](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4da419/32.png) [@Black\_Train\_Song](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Black_Train_Song)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2003, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/invention-s-du-jour/13131/36 "2003-04-11T15:02:08Z")
What do you guys think of this… HEATED windshield wipers? So those clumps of ice don’t freeze up your wipers in the winter. They would be timed like your rear defrosters. I wanna know what you think because I submitted the idea to an auto maker and they sent me a rejection letter. Hahaha! ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2003, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/invention-s-du-jour/13131/37 "2003-04-11T15:13:14Z")
A two-part car. I could just economically drive the front seat to work and back but could attach the rest a SUV when I need to transport additional people or large objects. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2003, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/invention-s-du-jour/13131/38 "2003-04-11T15:14:34Z")
My idea when I was in electronics school: the _customisable_ car horn. There would be several buttons for various severities of warning, as **Legomancer** mentioned, but _this_ horn would play back sound samples. At deafening volume, if desired. The default sound samples would be regular car-type beeps, but there would be a facility to download your own samples into the horn unit. And there would be a microphone. You could record your own samples right in the car, or you could go onto the internet and get premade samples from others. “Hmm. What shall I sould like today? My default Toyota horn, a bicycle, an 18-wheeler, a train, or Don Cherry yelling ‘Get out of the way, you idiot!’?” 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![modro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@modro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/modro)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2003, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/invention-s-du-jour/13131/39 "2003-04-11T16:54:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Shirley Ujest \* > \*\*Other ideas that have wafted thru the space between my ears: > > For the businessman who lives out of his car, the ability to get rid of the back seat entirely and put a filing system, small desk and anything else essential. He could turn his bucket seat around and have it right there neatly and organized instead of crammed in a case or strewn all over the car, Thus leaving the front seat free for important things like fast food bags. > \*\* Here’s something really close, just take out the back seat. [The 1967 Imperial Mobile Director Coupe](http://www.imperialclub.com/Varieties/Special/FactorySpecials/1960s/MobileDirector/1967/Amodt/index.html) ---
**Author:** ![lightingtool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/57b2e6/32.png) [@lightingtool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lightingtool)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2003, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/invention-s-du-jour/13131/40 "2003-04-11T19:00:13Z")
Here’s one I’ve always wanted for myself: **A Cell phone with a breathalyzer installed**. If your BAC is too high, you can’t make that embarrasing phone call to your ex or current girlfriend. I could make a fortune!! And I completely agree with all the car ideas listed so far. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/invention-s-du-jour/13131.md?page=1)