# Invitation to all child-beaters **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 10, 2008, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/invitation-to-all-child-beaters/467345 "2008-10-10T17:01:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 11
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2008, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/invitation-to-all-child-beaters/467345/201 "2008-10-12T18:39:41Z")
> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#): > > Make me, “diddums”. > > My smarm must go wherever shirts are stuffed and scrub away the perspiration stains of self-importance, leaving only the lemony smell of a new day. You got a problem with that, deal with it. Love yourself much, Bryan? And I don’t just mean manually. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2008, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/invitation-to-all-child-beaters/467345/202 "2008-10-12T18:50:58Z")
> [@ivan\_astikov](#): > > Love yourself much, Bryan? And I don’t just mean manually. Hey, at least somebody loves me. By all evidence everyone, including you, dislikes you. ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2008, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/invitation-to-all-child-beaters/467345/203 "2008-10-12T18:58:11Z")
> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#): > > Hey, at least somebody loves me. By all evidence everyone, including you, dislikes you. Hey, you’re the one who takes popularity contests seriously. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2008, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/invitation-to-all-child-beaters/467345/204 "2008-10-12T19:24:10Z")
> [@ivan\_astikov](#): > > Hey, you’re the one who takes popularity contests seriously. I guess simple chance made it inevitable - you’re sort-of correct. As is typical (I’ll assume, though I lack the requisite psychology/sociology training to offer anything but a lay opinion) of class-clown/office-cutup types myself, we like to tell jokes and make quips and get reactions reinforcing our self-image of cleverness and wit. I remember fondly a number of quips I’ve made over the years, with the memory reinforced if the quip got the intended positive reaction, an unintended negative reaction, or no reaction when I felt one was particularly deserved (one particularly bitter example of the last was a pretty good _Star Trek_-related joke I made that happened to be the last post in that thread). I don’t believe this makes me a troll, but if it does - thanks for feeding me. I just love to talk about myself. ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2008, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/invitation-to-all-child-beaters/467345/205 "2008-10-12T19:38:55Z")
> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#): > > I guess simple chance made it inevitable - you’re sort-of correct. As is typical (I’ll assume, though I lack the requisite psychology/sociology training to offer anything but a lay opinion) of class-clown/office-cutup types myself, we like to tell jokes and make quips and get reactions reinforcing our self-image of cleverness and wit. I remember fondly a number of quips I’ve made over the years, with the memory reinforced if the quip got the intended positive reaction, an unintended negative reaction, or no reaction when I felt one was particularly deserved (one particularly bitter example of the last was a pretty good _Star Trek_-related joke I made that happened to be the last post in that thread). > > I don’t believe this makes me a troll, but if it does - thanks for feeding me. I just love to talk about myself. Thought so. Are you also one of those who can’t have a lull in a conversation, without gushing forth with your opinions on everything from baking bread, to saving the world? You must be a wow at parties.\* - Assuming you get invited to many. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2008, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/invitation-to-all-child-beaters/467345/206 "2008-10-12T19:53:19Z")
> [@ivan\_astikov](#): > > Thought so. Are you also one of those who can’t have a lull in a conversation, without gushing forth with your opinions on everything from baking bread, to saving the world? You must be a wow at parties.\* > > - Assuming you get invited to many. I do okay. (_nom nom nom_) And yet, I don’t start a lot of threads just so I can gush forth on bread and world-saving. Go figure. In fact, I believe you have considerably more thread starts than I do, despite being a member for about one-twentieth as long. There; I’m generously giving you an opening to talk about yourself. Run with it. ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2008, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/invitation-to-all-child-beaters/467345/207 "2008-10-12T20:09:09Z")
> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#): > > I do okay. (_nom nom nom_) > > And yet, I don’t start a lot of threads just so I can gush forth on bread and world-saving. Go figure. In fact, I believe you have considerably more thread starts than I do, despite being a member for about one-twentieth as long. > > There; I’m generously giving you an opening to talk about yourself. Run with it. Nah! Find something else to try and amuse yourself with. And besides, the people all want to listen to you. ---
**Author:** ![Aspidistra](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspidistra/32/3894_2.png) [@Aspidistra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspidistra)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2008, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/invitation-to-all-child-beaters/467345/208 "2008-10-12T20:17:18Z")
> [@ivan\_astikov](#): > > And besides, the people all want to listen to you. Twice a day _is_ the amount a broken clock is supposed to be right, isn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![magellan01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@magellan01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magellan01)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2008, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/invitation-to-all-child-beaters/467345/209 "2008-10-12T20:19:34Z")
> [@Terrifel](#): > > Anyone else here feel the urge to go beat a child just because of this thread? > > Halloween’s just around the corner, isn’t it? They come right to your door! 😃 Brilliant. And yes. I’ll have to start decorating. Note to the obviously not “beat” enough OP: you’re intentional conflation of “spanking” and “beating” is laughable and pathetic. Somehow that’s not surprising. ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2008, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/invitation-to-all-child-beaters/467345/210 "2008-10-12T21:09:55Z")
> [@ivan\_astikov](#): > > Well don’t just stop there! Do elaborate Sigmund Finn. I’m sure the board would love to hear your expert psychoanalysis of my personality. Tres droll. But no, I don’t need any psychoanalysis, as you clearly admitted to what your problem is. Specifically, you view people getting angry at a troll, in a forum designed and intended for venting anger, as people who are so potentially unstable that some may be preparing for physical violence at this very moment. That’s a rather ignorant, paranoid inflammatory statement, but then again, you’ve been defending pseudo, eh? Obviously, your fantasy about other posters in meatspace doesn’t have any relevance to what they’re actually doing or thinking. But the fact that that’s what you think they’re doing or thinking reveals your own thought processes. ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2008, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/invitation-to-all-child-beaters/467345/211 "2008-10-12T22:48:30Z")
> [@FinnAgain](#): > > Tres droll. > But no, I don’t need any psychoanalysis, as you clearly admitted to what your problem is. > > Specifically, you view people getting angry at a troll, in a forum designed and intended for venting anger, as people who are so potentially unstable that some may be preparing for physical violence at this very moment. That’s a rather ignorant, paranoid inflammatory statement, but then again, you’ve been defending pseudo, eh? > > Obviously, your fantasy about other posters in meatspace doesn’t have any relevance to what they’re actually doing or thinking. But the fact that that’s what you think they’re doing or thinking reveals your own thought processes. Ah, but if I’d just said some posters would like to be administering a good spanking, you’d have had nothing to pull me on, and where would you be then? ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2008, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/invitation-to-all-child-beaters/467345/212 "2008-10-12T22:51:48Z")
> [@Aspidistra](#): > > Twice a day _is_ the amount a broken clock is supposed to be right, isn’t it? Stop tongueing Bryan’s prostrate, it’s very unseemly. Or at least do it in private! ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2008, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/invitation-to-all-child-beaters/467345/213 "2008-10-12T22:53:21Z")
> [@ivan\_astikov](#): > > Ah, but if I’d just said some posters would like to be administering a good spanking, you’d have had nothing to pull me on, and where would you be then? Well, if you’d actually made a joke, he might’ve chuckled and either added his own joke or thrown a smiley your way or something. If I may speculate, that is. ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2008, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/invitation-to-all-child-beaters/467345/214 "2008-10-12T22:57:04Z")
> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#): > > Well, if you’d actually made a joke, he might’ve chuckled and either added his own joke or thrown a smiley your way or something. > > If I may speculate, that is. You don’t really think I imagined Dopers were wrapping belts around their fists, do you? You know all about using words for effect, I’m sure. p.s. And I’m sure Finn appreciates you replying for him, being as how you are so good at it! ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2008, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/invitation-to-all-child-beaters/467345/215 "2008-10-12T23:01:54Z")
> [@ivan\_astikov](#): > > You don’t really think I imagined Dopers were wrapping belts around their fists, do you? You know all about using words for effect, I’m sure. Yes, that’s awesome. Using insulting exaggerating to characterize Dopers as hyper-violent thugs when all you “mean to do” is have a calm discussion about whether or not their disposition is the best course of action. Often I find it’s best that when one is using satire or exaggeration to make a point, they distort the reality so far beyond recognition that it not only becomes an absurdity, but an inflammatory one, to boot. That sure helps discussion. I can understand why you like pseudo. ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2008, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/invitation-to-all-child-beaters/467345/216 "2008-10-12T23:30:11Z")
> [@FinnAgain](#): > > Yes, that’s awesome. Using insulting exaggerating to characterize Dopers as hyper-violent thugs when all you “mean to do” is have a calm discussion about whether or not their disposition is the best course of action. > > Often I find it’s best that when one is using satire or exaggeration to make a point, they distort the reality so far beyond recognition that it not only becomes an absurdity, but an inflammatory one, to boot. That sure helps discussion. > > I can understand why you like pseudo. If you want to take my exaggeration as a serious reflection of the posters in this thread, never mind ALL Dopers, there’s nothing I can do to stop that. But carry on making yourself look silly, if you want. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2008, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/invitation-to-all-child-beaters/467345/217 "2008-10-12T23:40:04Z")
> [@ivan\_astikov](#): > > You don’t really think I imagined Dopers were wrapping belts around their fists, do you? You know all about using words for effect, I’m sure. I honestly don’t know what you imagined. As I understood it, you were suggesting that prr’s statements were so antagonizing (and/or the respondents were so sensitive) that some were considering violence against him. Whether or not literal fists and belts were involved is irrelevant. I don’t think you really think I thought you thought fists were actually being wrapped (heh), but as also indicated by your reference to tongues and prostates, your verbal arsenal is limited. I fully expect you’ll make a disparaging remark about Montreal or Canada eventually (maybe you already have and I’ve just forgotten). You haven’t demonstrated the wit for anything better. ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2008, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/invitation-to-all-child-beaters/467345/218 "2008-10-12T23:40:32Z")
> [@ivan\_astikov](#): > > If you want to take my exaggeration as a serious reflection of the posters in this thread, never mind ALL Dopers, there’s nothing I can do to stop that. Man, I really can see why you like pseudo, you both read at the same grade level, like to invent things people have said, and don’t deal with reading for comprehension all that well. Please show anywhere I claimed that you’d submitted anything “serious” let alone a “serious reflection” or applying to “all Dopers” or “all posters in this thread”, rather than “distort[ing] the reality so far beyond recognition that it not only becomes an absurdity, but an inflammatory one, to boot.” I’ll wait. In case you need a hint, the point isn’t that I’m trying to gague your real thoughts or how serious you are about other Dopers, but that your hyperbolic bombast was bizarrely inflammatory and served no purpose other than being flame bait. ---
**Author:** ![Interconnected\_Series\_of\_Tubes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/13edae/32.png) [@Interconnected\_Series\_of\_Tubes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Interconnected_Series_of_Tubes)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2008, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/invitation-to-all-child-beaters/467345/219 "2008-10-12T23:46:33Z")
Are **ivan** and **prr** having some contest to see who can post the most over-reactionary, hyperbole-bloated pissing contest drivel? Just because so many people here think you’re both a pair of fucking morons doesn’t mean there’s some kind of strange self-congratulatory felching club to bitchslap every moronic post you guys make. Although I’d join one in a heartbeat. ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2008, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/invitation-to-all-child-beaters/467345/220 "2008-10-12T23:55:18Z")
> [@FinnAgain](#): > > Please show anywhere I claimed that you’d submitted anything “serious” let alone a “serious reflection” or applying to “all Dopers” or “all posters in this thread”, rather than “distort[ing] the reality so far beyond recognition that it not only becomes an absurdity, but an inflammatory one, to boot.” I’ll wait. Talk about poor reading comprehension; you don’t even read your own posts properly. > [@FinnAgain](#): > > Yes, that’s awesome. Using insulting exaggerating to characterize Dopers as hyper-violent thugs Whatever ‘insulting exaggerating’ is. Hey, **'tubes**. GFY. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/invitation-to-all-child-beaters/467345.md?page=10) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/invitation-to-all-child-beaters/467345.md?page=12)