# Iran claims bin Laden captured **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 28, 2004, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/iran-claims-bin-laden-captured/231622 "2004-02-28T15:04:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2004, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/iran-claims-bin-laden-captured/231622/1 "2004-02-28T15:04:36Z")
[Link](http://news.google.com/url?ntc=0M0A2&q=http://www.indolink.com/displayArticleS.php%3Fid%3D022804041811). Wow, I just saw this as an unquestioning headline on Google News and I started shouting to my American houseguest that they got the bastard, but it’s been [denied](http://news.google.com/url?ntc=0M0A1&q=http://www.heraldsun.news.com.au/common/story_page/0,5478,8824755%25255E663,00.html) by the US and Pakistan. Could it be anti-US propaganda? A mistake? Or is there a grain of truth in it - and the reason for Rumsfeld’s visit to Kabul? ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2004, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/iran-claims-bin-laden-captured/231622/2 "2004-02-28T15:17:06Z")
Totally unreliable, but interesting. If Osama Bin Laden was captured, what would happen? He really wouldn’t be a prisoner of war, anymore than Timothy McVeigh would have. So he would have to enter the criminal justice system, right? And if so, do you extradite him here, or try him under international law? If he’s ever caught I’d like to see him tried in Saudi, since the penalty would be his public beheading and they carry out sentences vary swiftly there. Which would reduce the odds of a terrorist plot to get him released. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2004, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/iran-claims-bin-laden-captured/231622/3 "2004-02-28T16:15:07Z")
Why wouldn’t be be a prisoner of war? He started the damn thing. These persistent rumours keep coming up. I will believe it when I see his sorry ass on tv while they inspect his hair for lice and check his teeth. ---
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2004, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/iran-claims-bin-laden-captured/231622/4 "2004-02-28T16:30:44Z")
[http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/ap/20040228/ap\_on\_re\_mi\_ea/bin\_laden&cid=540&ncid=716](http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/ap/20040228/ap_on_re_mi_ea/bin_laden&cid=540&ncid=716)]Yahoo link I’ve been figuring since I first heard the rumors they they had him surrounded, that the US would wait till, oh, say, October 20th or so before releasing the lice-inspection videos. Comes this Iran report that says almost exactly that. If he HAS been captured, it ought to break for real soon. It’s on Yahoo’s front page; the genie’s out of the bottle, which does not bode well for any plan the administration might have had for pulling him out of their asses in October. “No, we don’t have him, no way, uh-uh, nope, it’s just been a lingering rumor for the past 8 months…Oh look, here he is!” ---
**Author:** ![Diceman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Diceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diceman)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2004, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/iran-claims-bin-laden-captured/231622/5 "2004-02-28T16:49:45Z")
I’d heard rumors about it once or twice, but this is the first time it’s appeared in a major news source. (It’s on [MSN.com](http://MSN.com)’s front page.) I’m thinking that Kerry would be smart to say something about this. ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2004, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/iran-claims-bin-laden-captured/231622/6 "2004-02-28T16:54:21Z")
It’s been pointed out that the Iranians are only broadcasting the news in Pashtun, one of the main languages of Afghanistan, not their own Farsi. [They’re also saying](http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/ap/20040228/ap_on_re_mi_ea/bin_laden&cid=540&ncid=716) that Bush is waiting for an opportune moment to release the news. Sounds like they’re just trying to stir up trouble. ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2004, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/iran-claims-bin-laden-captured/231622/7 "2004-02-28T16:57:06Z")
OTOH I hope they have captured the blighter. ---
**Author:** ![HPL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2004, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/iran-claims-bin-laden-captured/231622/8 "2004-02-28T17:56:05Z")
If, in fact, they have captured the bastard and haven’t told him yet, there is one legitmate reason I can think of for keeping him under wraps. Namely, that they are interrogating him and want to gain as much information as possible before making his capture public, for fear that the moment they annouce his arrest, a bunch of high level AQ operatives/leaders who he might have information on are going to start changing locations/e-mail addresses/phone numbers/etc. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2004, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/iran-claims-bin-laden-captured/231622/9 "2004-02-29T02:46:55Z")
**HPL** has a very good point. Once his capture is made public, his value as an information source becomes nil. In which case, I think the Bush administration is doing the best thing for the country…getting as much info as possible, rather than trying to make political hay out of his capture. If it’s true, of course. ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2004, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/iran-claims-bin-laden-captured/231622/10 "2004-02-29T04:03:07Z")
**Ivylass** , if/when he is captured, the current administration will certainly make political hay out of it. When they make the hay is the only question. Any administration, Dem or Pub, would be silly not to. The reason I say that he’s a criminal and not a prisoner of war is that he is not a government member, military member or anything similar. He’s just a lunatic. In fact to treat him as a prisoner of war would to some extent legitamize him and it would keep him from facing criminal charges, although I suppose that war crimes could be brought. And just because the Bush Administration says there is a “War on Terrorism” does not make Bin Laden a soldier. He’s still a thug and common criminal. Just like Pablo Escobar was when he was captured as part of the war on drugs. He still faced murder and drug charges, not a tribunal to evaluate war crimes. Through what logic could you consider Bin Laden a prisoner of war? ---
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2004, 7:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/iran-claims-bin-laden-captured/231622/11 "2004-02-29T07:21:36Z")
As I have mentioned on other threads long before this “scoop” from the trusted Iranian press…like an old Siegfried and Roy trick, Osama will suddenly appear in chains on the floor of Madison Square Garden as the highlight of the Republican Convention…or is anyone naive enough to think Dubya won’t milk this for every vote he can get, and it is too early to present this trump card. I used to think I was beginning to be too cynical…and then there was the cheap, vote-pandering announcement about creating an Amendment to the Constitution to ensure second class status for Gays and Lesbians. I don’t doubt for a minute that if Osama has indeed been captured, they will hold him for all the above reasons, and then announce the fact at just the right (politically convenient) moment. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2004, 8:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/iran-claims-bin-laden-captured/231622/12 "2004-02-29T08:54:53Z")
Suppose that he _has_ been captured, and is under wraps… What if… what if they could have caught him all along? Suppose the Administration has been deliberately letting him slip through their grasp this whole time, waiting for the opportune moment to announce they had him? Nah. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2004, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/iran-claims-bin-laden-captured/231622/13 "2004-02-29T13:14:21Z")
I suspect the Iranians are trying to cause trouble. Several people in the US have expressed confidence that we will capture ObL in the near future. The Iranians might be hoping that we do, and that their announcement will make it look as if the US has already captured ObL but were keeping it secret for maximum political benefit. Thus, if he is captured in the next week or two, they can claim that they forced the US to come clean about it, thus making it look in the eyes of the anti-US, anti-Bush tinfoil hat brigade/cheese-eating surrender monkeys as if the Bush administration did something wrong. My confidence in the truth of the Iranian declaration approaches zero as a limit. I hope ObL is taken ASAP, alive if possible. Then glean as much information out of him as possible, execute him, and burn the body to ashes and sprinkle them at sea. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Ruby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/13edae/32.png) [@Ruby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruby)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2004, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/iran-claims-bin-laden-captured/231622/14 "2004-02-29T14:23:01Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > \burn the body to ashes and sprinkle them at sea. Surely there are some anti-pollution laws that would prohibit the ashes of a vile human from being introduced into the world’s water supply. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![french\_frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c77e96/32.png) [@french\_frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/french_frog)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2004, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/iran-claims-bin-laden-captured/231622/15 "2004-02-29T14:28:15Z")
Iran “capturing” Bin Laden? If they really do, I think they will elect him at a proeminent government position such as head of bureau of terrorism, nuclear weapons project manager in chief or dean of the suicide attack university… ☹ More seriously if those news were true, would you see Iran give BL to the US for a trial? No way… ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2004, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/iran-claims-bin-laden-captured/231622/16 "2004-02-29T14:31:51Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > Several people in the US have expressed confidence that we will capture ObL in the near future. The Iranians might be hoping that we do, and that their announcement will make it look as if the US has already captured ObL but were keeping it secret for maximum political benefit. Thus, if he is captured in the next week or two, they can claim that they forced the US to come clean about it, thus making it look in the eyes of the anti-US, anti-Bush tinfoil hat brigade/cheese-eating surrender monkeys as if the Bush administration did something wrong. Though I wouldn’t have expressed it in _quite_ those terms, this was indeed my second thought. Another thing I’ve been thinking is that, in the event that he is in custody already, maybe the Pentagon reckons the negative effect of him being publically captured (revenge terror acts, hostage situations calling for his release, etc.) might be greater than of not ever revealing that they have him. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2004, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/iran-claims-bin-laden-captured/231622/17 "2004-02-29T14:33:44Z")
> [@french frog](#): > > Iran “capturing” Bin Laden? If they really do, I think they will elect him at a proeminent government position such as head of bureau of terrorism, nuclear weapons project manager in chief or dean of the suicide attack university… ☹ > More seriously if those news were true, would you see Iran give BL to the US for a trial? No way… You didn’t read the link, did you? Iran claims that the _US_ (and Pakistan) have captured him. ---
**Author:** ![drewbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drewbert/32/15890_2.png) [@drewbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewbert)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2004, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/iran-claims-bin-laden-captured/231622/18 "2004-02-29T15:01:31Z")
Seems to me the thing for the administration to do is keep ObL’s status ambiguous for as long as possible. Capture him, get information out of him, and act on the information while it’s still relevant. In the meantime, have it so Al Queda won’t know whether to declare him a martyr or demand his release. Maybe we can put him in Schroedinger’s Box… [/physics geek] [sub]::celebrates post number 1000 with a handful of friends over a decent brew, quietly so as not to disturb the mods::[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2004, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/iran-claims-bin-laden-captured/231622/19 "2004-02-29T15:15:25Z")
I think if I were in charge I would also arrange a Paris Hilton-style internet release of OBL’s shenanigans with a chicken, a sheep, women’s underwear and a big jar of lube. ---
**Author:** ![OttoDaFe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ottodafe/32/356_2.png) [@OttoDaFe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OttoDaFe)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2004, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/iran-claims-bin-laden-captured/231622/20 "2004-02-29T17:32:48Z")
> [@jjimm](#): > > I think if I were in charge I would also arrange a Paris Hilton-style internet release of OBL’s shenanigans with a chicken, a sheep, women’s underwear and a big jar of lube. Not a sheep—sheep are _halal_. Better make it a pig. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/iran-claims-bin-laden-captured/231622.md?page=2)