# Iraq: Bring on the dolphins! **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [March 26, 2003, 11:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/iraq-bring-on-the-dolphins/164269 "2003-03-26T11:08:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Lissa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lissa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissa)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2003, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/iraq-bring-on-the-dolphins/164269/21 "2003-03-27T04:47:36Z")
[According to this site](http://www.cdi.org/adm/510/transcript.html) there was an attempt at training dolphins for “swimmer nullification.” The dolphins would basically be equipped with C0-2 guns. > [@](#): > > MR. O’BARRY: There’s some talk about a “swimmer nullification system,” and – You can see the training of this in Key West; it’s very hard for them to hide that. > > INTERVIEWER: But that’s a pretty nice euphemism. That means killing people? > > MR. O’BARRY: Yes. > > INTERVIEWER: And do you think that dolphins are being trained to kill people? > > MR. O’BARRY: I think so, yes. In the sixties, the “swimmer nullification system,” as I understand it, involved an injection system of CO-2. It sends a blast of CO-2 into the body cavity and will literally shove your insides out your mouth and your rectum. I’ve heard this same story from another source which said that the “gun” was put on the dolphin’s snout. When the dolphin rammed a diver, it would shoot out the CO-2. Who needs lasers when we can make your insides blow out of your ass? ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2003, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/iraq-bring-on-the-dolphins/164269/22 "2003-03-27T04:56:53Z")
Of course, a tuna net is dolphin kryptonite. ---
**Author:** ![Coriolanus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/coriolanus/32/18769_2.png) [@Coriolanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coriolanus)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2003, 7:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/iraq-bring-on-the-dolphins/164269/23 "2003-03-27T07:04:20Z")
From UPI: [Morocco offers US monkeys to detonate mine](http://www.upi.com/view.cfm?StoryID=20030324-064259-1443r) > [@](#): > > RABAT, D.C., Morocco, March 24 (UPI) – A Moroccan publication accused the government Monday of providing unusual assistance to U.S. troops fighting in Iraq by offering them 2,000 monkeys trained in detonating land mines. > > The weekly al-Usbu’ al-Siyassi reported that Morocco offered the U.S. forces a large number of monkeys, some from Morocco’s Atlas Mountains and others imported, to use them for detonating land mines planted by the Iraqis. > > The publication quoted a highly-informed source as saying, “that is not a scientific illusion but a well-known military tactic.” > > Copyright © 2001-2003 United Press International ---
**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2003, 7:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/iraq-bring-on-the-dolphins/164269/24 "2003-03-27T07:31:32Z")
monkeys. cool. ---
**Author:** ![Richard\_Pearse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/richard_pearse/32/13144_2.png) [@Richard\_Pearse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Richard_Pearse)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2003, 7:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/iraq-bring-on-the-dolphins/164269/25 "2003-03-27T07:45:03Z")
What’s so special about moneys? Bet I could train a herd of cows to detonate mines 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Richard\_Pearse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/richard_pearse/32/13144_2.png) [@Richard\_Pearse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Richard_Pearse)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2003, 7:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/iraq-bring-on-the-dolphins/164269/26 "2003-03-27T07:46:10Z")
Monkeys! ---
**Author:** ![istara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e79b87/32.png) [@istara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/istara)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2003, 8:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/iraq-bring-on-the-dolphins/164269/27 "2003-03-27T08:31:55Z")
I covered this story - the dolphins were so cute! They are trained not to approach mines, but to leave markers nearby, to minimise risk to themselves. Obviously a lot of time, money and effort goes into training these animals,so they are arguably _less_ expendable than troops (from an operational if not a moral perspective). The dolphins are used because they have in-built sonar. The sea floor where the mines are is pitch black and muddy, and it’s near impossible for divers to safely detect many of the mines using visual means. Quote from Lt Commander John Herriman, Royal Navy diver: \*“It’s hard graft for the guys in the water. The diving conditions are appalling. There’s tidal streams, visibility is pretty much nil and the sea bed is just thick mud – one or two metres of mud – and they’re having to crawl through that, looking up and down the pylons under the berths to find anything that’s down there.” \* ---
**Author:** ![Coriolanus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/coriolanus/32/18769_2.png) [@Coriolanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coriolanus)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2003, 8:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/iraq-bring-on-the-dolphins/164269/28 "2003-03-27T08:50:54Z")
I can only believe the dolphins _know_ what they’re doing and the inherent danger involved. If they’re just trained to find a hot mine and put a beacon on it to get a fish - that wouldn’t be fair. [A sequel?](http://us.imdb.com/Title?0069946) ---
**Author:** ![Debaser](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3da27b/32.png) [@Debaser](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Debaser)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2003, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/iraq-bring-on-the-dolphins/164269/29 "2003-03-27T15:06:56Z")
How is this going to work? One monkey running ahead of an armoured column. He gets blown up, and they know there are mines ahead. Or: There is a field with 100 mines in it. Allies release 100 monkeys and wait a while. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![tagos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@tagos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tagos)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2003, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/iraq-bring-on-the-dolphins/164269/30 "2003-03-27T15:12:35Z")
Great news, with dolphin-kind added to the Coalition of the Willing who can any longer doubt the cause of Operation Piss Off the World (with thanks to the Onion)? ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2003, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/iraq-bring-on-the-dolphins/164269/31 "2003-03-27T15:45:45Z")
I would think it more likely that the monkeys have been trained to find and pick up mines, then trigger them (probably by hiding food items inside dummy mines that are opened by bashing them or some such). ---
**Author:** ![december](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/838e76/32.png) [@december](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/december)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2003, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/iraq-bring-on-the-dolphins/164269/32 "2003-03-27T16:02:34Z")
See Rumsfeld and Blair feeling chipper, Their resources just became hipper. …In addition to drones, …And radiophones, They’ve learned how to utilize Flipper. ---
**Author:** ![MSU\_1978](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac8455/32.png) [@MSU\_1978](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MSU_1978)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2003, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/iraq-bring-on-the-dolphins/164269/33 "2003-03-27T16:04:31Z")
don’t quit your day job, december. ---
**Author:** ![elfje](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e19b73/32.png) [@elfje](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfje)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2003, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/iraq-bring-on-the-dolphins/164269/34 "2003-03-27T16:19:15Z")
I heard somewehere once, that Dolphins were used to attache bombs to submarines (don’t ask me how they did it), but that the dolphins, after seeing what the bombs would do, refused to co-operate! is this true? Has anyone else heard this story? Where can i find a link? thanks ---
**Author:** ![december](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/838e76/32.png) [@december](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/december)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2003, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/iraq-bring-on-the-dolphins/164269/35 "2003-03-27T16:25:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by MSU 1978 \* > \*\*don’t quit your day job, december. \*\* _Now_ you tell me, 6 months after retirement. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![CasperQ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f0a364/32.png) [@CasperQ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CasperQ)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2003, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/iraq-bring-on-the-dolphins/164269/36 "2003-03-27T19:15:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by elfje \* **I heard somewehere once, that Dolphins were used to attache bombs to submarines (don’t ask me how they did it), but that the dolphins, after seeing what the bombs would do, refused to co-operate!** I haven’t read the [full story](http://www.ukdiving.co.uk/ukdiving/conservation/c698/index.html) yet, but apparently they DO have a moral code… “_If an intruder was located then they would ‘report back’ to their handlers, acting as an effective early warning system. The Soviets, however, gave this apparently benign activity a potentially fatal twist. Its ‘guards’ would carry a titanium clamp on a harness, and be trained to simply bump into any diver they found before returning to raise the alarm. The clamp was designed to attach itself to the diver when the dolphin bumped him in a way that it could not be removed, and in it was a device about the size of a table tennis ball capable of injecting the high-pressure charge of CO2 into the diver’s body. This was not done immediately, however, because the preference was to take any intruders alive. Only if a search failed to locate the enemy, or force him to the surface, was the device activated remotely… ‘As the commander there said to me: “That would bring him to the surface,” ’ says Cartlidge, imitating a Ukrainian accent ‘It would, of course. But it would be with his guts spewing out both ends.’ Delightful. And friendly ‘Flipper’ would know nothing about it._” [sub] I KNEW they were smart! 🙂 [/sub] ---
**Author:** ![CasperQ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f0a364/32.png) [@CasperQ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CasperQ)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2003, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/iraq-bring-on-the-dolphins/164269/37 "2003-03-27T19:19:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by yawndave \*…Whether it’s just wishful thinking that they have some sort of higher level of conciousness, or just anthropomorphization on my part, I just don’t think that dolphins deserve to be ‘used’ this way. \*\* I don’t have too much of an objection to ‘employing’ dolphins so long as they are treated humanely… What I object to is the haphazard way that the older ‘soldiers’ are retired… Cannot they be retrained to go back into the wild, released in pods?? Hey, man - Flipper did it! :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2003, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/iraq-bring-on-the-dolphins/164269/38 "2003-03-27T19:25:18Z")
Actually, that was a pretty good limerick. One of his best. ---
**Author:** ![medstar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f07891/32.png) [@medstar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/medstar)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/iraq-bring-on-the-dolphins/164269/39 "2003-03-28T00:38:34Z")
MSU 1978 says: > [@](#): > > They’ve got dolphins to hunt for mines, sea lions to look for enemy divers. The only animal that wouldn’t help was the French poodle . You mean, a _freedom poodle_, don’t you? ::d&r:: ---
**Author:** ![leander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/bcef8e/32.png) [@leander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leander)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/iraq-bring-on-the-dolphins/164269/40 "2003-03-28T00:47:43Z")
This has to be one of the funniest damn threads ever in GD. God bless the dolphins!! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/iraq-bring-on-the-dolphins/164269.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/iraq-bring-on-the-dolphins/164269.md?page=3)