# Iraq: Bring on the dolphins! **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [March 26, 2003, 11:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/iraq-bring-on-the-dolphins/164269 "2003-03-26T11:08:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/iraq-bring-on-the-dolphins/164269/41 "2003-03-28T00:49:01Z")
Close, but no cigar. “They’ve learned how to weaponize flipper” Just so. ---
**Author:** ![december](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/838e76/32.png) [@december](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/december)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/iraq-bring-on-the-dolphins/164269/42 "2003-03-28T01:32:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by elucidator \* > \*\*Close, but no cigar. > > “They’ve learned how to weaponize flipper” > > Just so. \*\* An excellent improvement. ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Sam\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_Stone)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 6:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/iraq-bring-on-the-dolphins/164269/43 "2003-03-28T06:02:15Z")
Canada was going to contribute a Goldfish to the Marine division, but our funding was cut and we couldn’t afford the aquarium for transport. ---
**Author:** ![Lissa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lissa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissa)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 6:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/iraq-bring-on-the-dolphins/164269/44 "2003-03-28T06:35:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Sam Stone \* > \*\*Canada was going to contribute a Goldfish to the Marine division, but our funding was cut and we couldn’t afford the aquarium for transport. \*\* I’ll mail you guys a plastic baggie if you’d like. Just put the fish in there. He should be okay for a couple of hours. (That’s how I brought mine home from the carnival when I won at ring-toss.) ---
**Author:** ![The\_Ryan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7feea3/32.png) [@The\_Ryan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Ryan)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2003, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/iraq-bring-on-the-dolphins/164269/45 "2003-03-29T04:57:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by MSU 1978 \* > \*\*By the way, credit the above to Jay Leno \*\* Or his writing staff. Skogcat > [@](#): > > What’s so special about moneys? Bet I could train a herd of cows to detonate mines And if they had Mad Cow Disease, that would take care of two birds with one stone. Someone should make a game out of this! Debaser: > [@](#): > > How is this going to work? > > One monkey running ahead of an armoured column. He gets blown up, and they know there are mines ahead. > > Or: There is a field with 100 mines in it. Allies release 100 monkeys and wait a while. Or maybe they give 100 monkeys 100 typewriters, and wait for them to produce a list of where all the mines are. More seriously, this is morally troubling. What if other countries start killing off dolphins to stop them from finding the mines? I think there is a slippery slope here. ---
**Author:** ![Lissa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lissa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissa)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2003, 6:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/iraq-bring-on-the-dolphins/164269/46 "2003-03-29T06:23:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by The Ryan \* > \*\*More seriously, this is morally troubling. What if other countries start killing off dolphins to stop them from finding the mines? I think there is a slippery slope here. \*\* Perhaps we should start a campaign to demand bullet-proof vests for the dolphins. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Duality](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr.duality/32/4098_2.png) [@Mr.Duality](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Duality)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2003, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/iraq-bring-on-the-dolphins/164269/47 "2003-03-29T15:54:43Z")
One of the trained dolphins has apparently gone AWOL (away without leave). Will the the military prison at Leavenworth soon be installing a large aquarium? > **[The Times & The Sunday Times](https://www.thetimes.co.uk/)** > > News and opinion from The Times & The Sunday Times ---
**Author:** ![diffdam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@diffdam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/diffdam)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2003, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/iraq-bring-on-the-dolphins/164269/48 "2003-03-29T16:20:21Z")
More likely that the missing dophin has been attacked by local dolphins. This possibility has been reported by the press. Perhaps they dont see them as liberators. ---
**Author:** ![tilly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@tilly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tilly)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2003, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/iraq-bring-on-the-dolphins/164269/49 "2003-03-29T16:48:01Z")
Our Sea World down here in Miss. Gulf trained the dolphens. They specialize in dolphen and seal training for the military. The facility is right next to our YC and we have been watching them for the last year but did not know what they were training for. It is so neat that they are able to contribute in this way. They have part of the harbor as their home and take them out into the gulf all the time (kind of like freerange chickens). These little guys are great … 😃 I think it is so cool… 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Lissa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lissa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissa)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2003, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/iraq-bring-on-the-dolphins/164269/50 "2003-03-29T17:45:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by tilly \* > \*\*They have part of the harbor as their home and take them out into the gulf all the time (kind of like freerange chickens). \*\* Actually, I think they taste more like pork. Especially on rye bread with some mayonaise. ---
**Author:** ![Apos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/838e76/32.png) [@Apos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Apos)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2003, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/iraq-bring-on-the-dolphins/164269/51 "2003-03-30T20:33:35Z")
An update: one of the dolphins may be a dirty traitor! > **[The Times & The Sunday Times](https://www.thetimes.co.uk/)** > > News and opinion from The Times & The Sunday Times ---
**Author:** ![Emperor\_Penguin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c2a13f/32.png) [@Emperor\_Penguin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emperor_Penguin)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2003, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/iraq-bring-on-the-dolphins/164269/52 "2003-03-31T02:32:37Z")
> [@](#): > > _From the above article_ > \*\*Takoma has now been missing for 48 hours and the solitary figure of Petty Officer Whitaker could be seen yesterday patting the water, calling his name and offering his favourite fish, but there was no response. \*\* _Sniff_ This last line brings tears to my eyes… Poor guy. ---
**Author:** ![samboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cdc98d/32.png) [@samboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samboy)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2003, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/iraq-bring-on-the-dolphins/164269/53 "2003-03-31T03:52:15Z")
Us Aussies have looked into the situation and it appears that these ‘Mine detecting Dolphins’ are not all they are cracked up to be. From here [Flipper’s new trick going AWOL](http://www.news.com.au/common/story_page/0,4057,6213772%255E25777,00.html) An Australian diver: > [@](#): > > “Flipper’s f…ed, mate,” was how one diver saw things yesterday. > > “If you put one to work in Sydney Harbour it would mark a million things because it can’t tell the difference between a washing machine and a mine,” one diver said. > > "The bottom line, mate, is it’s a fish. > > "It’s also a very smart fish so how do you know it hasn’t just gone off for a feed instead of working and then thought ‘hang on, I’d better mark a few things or they won’t give me any fish when I get back’? ---
**Author:** ![Coriolanus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/coriolanus/32/18769_2.png) [@Coriolanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coriolanus)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2003, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/iraq-bring-on-the-dolphins/164269/54 "2003-03-31T04:14:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Emperor Penguin \* > \*\*_Sniff_ > > This last line brings tears to my eyes… > > Poor guy. \*\* > [@](#): > > Takoma has now been missing for 48 hours and the solitary figure of Petty Officer Whitaker could be seen yesterday patting the water, calling his name and offering his favourite fish, but there was no response. Drat! They don’t have a GPS transmitter? Takoma is an Atlantic Bottlenose Dolphin. I’ve no idea what sorts of porpoises are in the Persian Gulf. bummer. ---
**Author:** ![Jervoise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d2c977/32.png) [@Jervoise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jervoise)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2003, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/iraq-bring-on-the-dolphins/164269/55 "2003-03-31T04:27:42Z")
Clearly, what we need now is monkeys trained to carry dolphins on their backs overland. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Duality](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr.duality/32/4098_2.png) [@Mr.Duality](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Duality)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2003, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/iraq-bring-on-the-dolphins/164269/56 "2003-03-31T17:27:53Z")
The AWOL dolphin has returned. [http://www.news.com.au/common/story\_page/0,4057,6213096^25777,00.html](http://www.news.com.au/common/story_page/0,4057,6213096%5E25777,00.html) ---
**Author:** ![RandySpears](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/858c86/32.png) [@RandySpears](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandySpears)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2003, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/iraq-bring-on-the-dolphins/164269/57 "2003-03-31T18:42:52Z")
“The bottom line, mate, is it’s a fish.” What do they teach these kids in school nowadays? ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Duality](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr.duality/32/4098_2.png) [@Mr.Duality](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Duality)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2003, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/iraq-bring-on-the-dolphins/164269/58 "2003-03-31T21:29:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Narrad \* > \*\*Clearly, what we need now is monkeys trained to carry dolphins on their backs overland. \*\* Maybe we could retrain these mine-sweeper monkeys: > **[Morocco offers US monkeys to detonate mine](https://www.upi.com/Defense-News/2003/03/24/Morocco-offers-US-monkeys-to-detonate-mine/14431048506179/)** > > A Moroccan publication accused the government Monday of providing unusual assistance to U.S. troops fighting in Iraq by offering them 2,000 monkeys trained in detonating land mines. ---
**Author:** ![RandySpears](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/858c86/32.png) [@RandySpears](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandySpears)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2003, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/iraq-bring-on-the-dolphins/164269/59 "2003-03-31T21:36:51Z")
What happens the day when our animal friends are no longer content taking orders? Somwhere here there’s a sci-fi movie script waiting to be born. ---
**Author:** ![Sock\_Munkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aeb1de/32.png) [@Sock\_Munkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sock_Munkey)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2003, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/iraq-bring-on-the-dolphins/164269/60 "2003-04-01T16:17:00Z")
They did the dolphins taking over the world thing on one of the Simpsons halloween specials. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/iraq-bring-on-the-dolphins/164269.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/iraq-bring-on-the-dolphins/164269.md?page=4)