# Iron Chef Part Deux **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 30, 2001, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/iron-chef-part-deux/60109 "2001-03-30T14:45:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2001, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/iron-chef-part-deux/60109/141 "2001-04-26T01:32:04Z")
However disappointing this turn of events may be, I will leave it to your discretion **Scylla**. Your judgement in all matters (save choosing judges) has been excellent. I will happily mail you a gallon of shellac for sundry application. As to a solution, all I can suggest is to recruit another judge or two, or do it yourself. [Reily] What a revoltin’ development. [/Reily] ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2001, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/iron-chef-part-deux/60109/142 "2001-04-26T02:13:59Z")
I’m gonna email a participant in this thread, and see if I can’t get them to give scores, as I’d like to have at least 3 judges. ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2001, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/iron-chef-part-deux/60109/143 "2001-04-26T02:37:51Z")
Ninjas dispatched. They shall return with a judge, or a corpse. I won’t Shellack the absent judges now, as I’ll assume dire circumstances due to the fact that both are regular posters who have gone inexplicably absent recently. And here I gave Verrain a tough time to be double sure, and Verrain’s judging was truly exemplary. Clearly I’m no judge of judges. {What do you expect from I guy that dresses like me, and grins like an idiot every time he bites something?) ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2001, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/iron-chef-part-deux/60109/144 "2001-04-26T02:51:57Z")
If nothing else, let’s drag the cameraman kicking and screaming over to the judges table. Whaddya think **Scylla-san**? I think **Veb** would do us all proud. ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2001, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/iron-chef-part-deux/60109/145 "2001-04-26T02:57:31Z")
Shhhh. ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2001, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/iron-chef-part-deux/60109/146 "2001-04-27T14:47:37Z")
Out of sheer boredom, **Iron Chef Cajun/Creole** starts making a batch of peach bread pudding in a cast-iron dutch oven. Using a mix of day-old french bread (crusts removed) and stale pound cake, he infuses it with a custard of egg, cream, sugar, cinnamon, nutmeg, and peach nectar until it’s saturated, then studs the mixture with chunks of diced fresh peaches before baking it until the top is browned. Spooning it into bowls and topping each serving with a scoop of french vanilla ice cream, he whips up some hard sauce with powdered sugar and french peach brandy, drizzling it over the top. Then he hands the bowls to his fellow Iron Chefs, murmuring, “Just to keep our spirits up.” ---
**Author:** ![robgruver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/13edae/32.png) [@robgruver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robgruver)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2001, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/iron-chef-part-deux/60109/147 "2001-04-28T03:15:46Z")
**Iron Chef robgruver** stands paitently looking over the crowd waiting on the judges. I suggest we at least make up some scores or the good Chairman or our lovely camera operator provide the third set of scores. I for one am a little agitated. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2001, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/iron-chef-part-deux/60109/148 "2001-04-28T04:21:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Chef Troy \* > \*\*Out of sheer boredom, **Iron Chef Cajun/Creole** starts making a batch of peach bread pudding in a cast-iron dutch oven. Using a mix of day-old french bread (crusts removed) and stale pound cake, he infuses it with a custard of egg, cream, sugar, cinnamon, nutmeg, and peach nectar until it’s saturated, then studs the mixture with chunks of diced fresh peaches before baking it until the top is browned. Spooning it into bowls and topping each serving with a scoop of french vanilla ice cream, he whips up some hard sauce with powdered sugar and french peach brandy, drizzling it over the top. Then he hands the bowls to his fellow Iron Chefs, murmuring, “Just to keep our spirits up.” \*\* With great apologies, **robgruver** , honorable **Iron Chef Cajun** has the best idea here. Although, we should all lift our kilts in the “general” direction. Best Wishes, Chris PS: You had me from the “French Vanilla” **Cheffie** … ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2001, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/iron-chef-part-deux/60109/149 "2001-04-28T04:28:52Z")
Gotta do the unforgivably bad thing here… Let’s think about (with **Scylla** san’s permission here), doing the **Iron Chef** judging among ourselves. The only limitation would be that we could not vote for our own menus. Whaddya think? Do not munch me and smile, oh, venerable master… ---
**Author:** ![JavaMaven1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/cab0a1/32.png) [@JavaMaven1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JavaMaven1)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2001, 6:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/iron-chef-part-deux/60109/150 "2001-04-28T06:21:01Z")
Wanna talk 'bout keeping our spirits up? ::cracks open a wooden box, revealing several bottles of '96 Bryant Family Cabernet Sauvignon:: Ever see an Iron Chef schnockered on expensive wine? ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2001, 12:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/iron-chef-part-deux/60109/151 "2001-04-28T12:35:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by TVeblen \* > **::silent but annoying cameraman Veb bolts back, panting, into Kitchen Stadium after having to clobber creepy The Lower House Member, who’s grabbier than hell but whose “member” couldn’t be found with an electron microscope, much less chopsticks.::** Just as an aside, The Lower House Member is nicknamed “homopants”, after a book he wrote with that title. He also believes in the International Jewish Conspiracy. In addition, given the “member” comment, he’s also told us he’s impotent and damned proud of young Japanese men who have “plenty of testosterone” (which, frankly, is more information than I wanted to know). He shares all this with us [here](http://www.homopants.com/english/column/index.html). And you can go to [http://www.homopants.com/english/](http://www.homopants.com/english/) to see more of his words of wisdom. Fenris (who thinks Kurimoto is the one blemish on an otherwise great show) ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2001, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/iron-chef-part-deux/60109/152 "2001-04-28T18:28:59Z")
**Iron Chef Zenster** trots out a plate of Stilton, Camenbert, Chevre, Danish Blue, St. Andre and Vermont sharp white Cheddar and carefully adorns it with slices of black twig apple, Bosc pear, Tokay flame grapes, Fuji pear apple, some low bush blueberries and a cluster of Champagne grapes to accompany the fine Cabernets that **Iron Chef Javamaven** is breathing and beginning to pour. Perhaps **Iron Chef Cajun** will profer a platter of mud bugs and **Iron Chef Scot** will bring a filet of cold smoked Scottish salmon from a Highland Loch to round out the affair. Speculation runs rampant in the kitchen stadium as the Iron Chefs begin to sharpen their knives for another less obvious but foreboding task. ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2001, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/iron-chef-part-deux/60109/153 "2001-04-28T18:53:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by JavaMaven1 \* > \*\*Wanna talk 'bout keeping our spirits up? > > ::cracks open a wooden box, revealing several bottles of '96 Bryant Family Cabernet Sauvignon:: > > Ever see an Iron Chef schnockered on expensive wine? \*\* ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2001, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/iron-chef-part-deux/60109/154 "2001-04-28T18:57:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by JavaMaven1 \* > \*\*Wanna talk 'bout keeping our spirits up? > > ::cracks open a wooden box, revealing several bottles of '96 Bryant Family Cabernet Sauvignon:: > > Ever see an Iron Chef schnockered on expensive wine? \*\* \*\* [/QUOTE] sorry, my computer interpreted my trembling fingers as a double click. Hey **Javamaven,** you know what goes surprisingly well with a nice full-bodied Cabernet? Chocolate. Here… _passes the bunny ears_ good thing I opted for the dark chocolate on some of these… the milk chocolate is too sweet. _sings_ “Life is a _cabernet_, old chum…” ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2001, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/iron-chef-part-deux/60109/155 "2001-04-29T00:11:40Z")
I have still not heard back from the remaining judges. Immediately (and I mean minutes) before Zenster’s suggestion, I had emailed Veb with a request to fill in. I had not yet heard back, and I see that she hasn’t posted since then. I think we have had extremely bad luck with our judges, as they seem to disapear from the board once they’ve been selected. COincidence? Perhaps. At any rate, I have emailed a third candidate (who I feel would be acceptable,) and await an answer. WIth as many emails out there and requests as I’ve made I feel it’s very likely we’ll get a 3rd set of scores shortly (but then I thought the same 5 days ago.) I would judge myself, but I am privy to the previous scores, and would not want there to be the possibility that I could be unduly influenced by any preexisting trends. I had set forth in the OP that we would need at least three judges, and for a fair contest, I think that’s still the case. In order to speed things up, let me suggest that each Iron Chef nominate 3 posters who they think would do a good job. If I have not heard back from my candidate within 24 hours, I would like to email the candidate whose name appears most often among the nominees. I will do a quick cross-check to ensure that that person has posted in the last day or so. That way we can have 3 judges to score from, and I will rest contented knowing that everything possible has been done to ensure a fair contest among you folks who have so clearly outdone yourselves. You deserve nothing less. Thoughts? ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2001, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/iron-chef-part-deux/60109/156 "2001-04-29T00:15:28Z")
I have heard back from my candidate, and he seems agreeable. I will finalize shortly. ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2001, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/iron-chef-part-deux/60109/157 "2001-04-29T00:43:34Z")
Iron Chefs, allow me to introduce your new judge: \*\* Eutychus!\*\* I am grateful to such a distinguished member of this community step into the breach. I know he’ll do a fantastic job! He mentions that he should be able to post and email scores by tomorrow night, no less. As soon as I have final results, I will announce the winner. **Let me warn you** I have noticed that judges for this contest have a strange habit of disapearing. Eutychus is a swell guy and if anything bad happens to him, I am going to hold some of the people in this thread responsible. Listen to Chairmen Scylla. Kidnapping judges and cooking them up like you were Hannibal Lecter is poor sportsmanship and unacceptable behavior in an Iron Chef. I know competitive spirit runs hot, and you occasionally forget yourselves, but let’s have no more of this, OK? ---
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2001, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/iron-chef-part-deux/60109/158 "2001-04-29T00:47:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Scylla \* > \*\*Kidnapping judges and cooking them up like you were Hannibal Lecter is poor sportsmanship and unacceptable behavior in an Iron Chef. I know competitive spirit runs hot, and you occasionally forget yourselves, but let’s have no more of this, OK? \*\* Not to mention that I’m tough and stringy. ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2001, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/iron-chef-part-deux/60109/159 "2001-04-29T04:16:01Z")
::pinches a fold of **Eutychus** ’ flesh:: Twenty minutes per pound, a little salt, pepper and herbs will take care of that… ---
**Author:** ![JavaMaven1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/cab0a1/32.png) [@JavaMaven1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JavaMaven1)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2001, 7:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/iron-chef-part-deux/60109/160 "2001-04-29T07:06:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eutychus55 \* > \*\*Not to mention that I’m tough and stringy. \*\* That’s why the cooking method of braising (especially in wine) was invented–for them tough and stringy types. Anyone for a pot of _Euty au Vin_ and buttered noodles? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/iron-chef-part-deux/60109.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/iron-chef-part-deux/60109.md?page=9)