# Irony, thy name is "Safety Lecture" **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 1, 2006, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/irony-thy-name-is-safety-lecture/378758 "2006-11-01T18:16:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![photopat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e95f7d/32.png) [@photopat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/photopat)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2006, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/irony-thy-name-is-safety-lecture/378758/1 "2006-11-01T18:16:51Z")
Yesterday the owners of our company bought lunch for everybody because September was a good month. The billing is finally done and we made a good profit in what was one of our busiest months all year. Great. Of course, after lunch there was a general meeting and one of the owners reminded everybody to be careful; the equipment in the shop is dangerous and after all, just last week the foreman had just cut his finger badly enough to need seven stitches. Not an hour later the receptionist walks by my office and says “Jim fell off the ladder.” Now, there’s a built in ladder just outside my office. It’s a retractable one leading to the “attic” on this side of the building. There was a technician on the floor servicing our imagesetter (machine you deevs) and I thought she was making a joke. Wrong. A couple of minutes later I looked out toward the shop and noticed people gathered. I walked out and found out that Jim _had_ in fact fallen off a ladder. Evidently he was trying to get to some boxes stored on a high shelf and rather than use the extension ladder had used a step ladder that wasn’t quite tall enough. He’d done what all ladders say you must **never** do - climb all the way to the top - and naturally he lost his balance and the ladder went out from under him. He did manage to grab the shelf and slow his fall but still came down hard. Paramedics took him to the hospital and we later learned that luckily he had only sustained a hairline fracture above his ankle. Neverthe less, it was a warning for everybody regarding ladder use, and was humorous in a way, since Jim was the one who had been lecturing us on safety less than sixty minutes prior. Anybody else have any good irony stories? ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2006, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/irony-thy-name-is-safety-lecture/378758/2 "2006-11-01T18:19:34Z")
Didn’t happen to me, but there’s video circulating on the internet of a DEA officer giving a talk on gun safety, who then proceeds to shoot himself in the leg. Classic. ---
**Author:** ![Bearflag70](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Bearflag70](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bearflag70)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2006, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/irony-thy-name-is-safety-lecture/378758/3 "2006-11-01T18:27:25Z")
There’s also a QVC video on youtube where they are selling ladders and the demonstration guy falls off and slams against the floor. ---
**Author:** ![photopat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e95f7d/32.png) [@photopat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/photopat)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2006, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/irony-thy-name-is-safety-lecture/378758/4 "2006-11-01T18:32:31Z")
I just saw the DEA agent video. Damn! But he was calm about it. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2006, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/irony-thy-name-is-safety-lecture/378758/5 "2006-11-01T18:47:05Z")
The best part of that gun safety video is how the audience starts nervously yelling, “Put it down!” when he pulls out the next gun he’s trying to demonstrate. ---
**Author:** ![casdave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c6cbf5/32.png) [@casdave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/casdave)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2006, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/irony-thy-name-is-safety-lecture/378758/6 "2006-11-01T18:56:21Z")
Following a successful claimfor £220k by a nurse who had been disabled by lack of lifting equipment and training, all staff at the hospital where I used to work were put on a manual handling safety course. We were in small groups they had a schedule, first was to pick up a piece of A4 paper from the floor correctly, using the thigh muscles. The physio nurse demonstrating this steadily sank down toward the paper, showing us the correct way, and stood up smoothly and quickly, unfortunately she bashed her head rather hard on the First Aid cabinet mounted on the wall. I know I shouldn’t have laughed… ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2006, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/irony-thy-name-is-safety-lecture/378758/7 "2006-11-01T19:41:14Z")
[QUOTE=casdave] We were in small groups they had a schedule, first was to pick up a piece of A4 paper from the floor correctly, using the thigh muscles. [/qUOTE] Wow…that is _really_ talented. ---
**Author:** ![zoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zoid/32/336_2.png) [@zoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoid)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2006, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/irony-thy-name-is-safety-lecture/378758/8 "2006-11-01T19:46:43Z")
[QUOTE=Anaamika] Wow…that is _really_ talented. [/QUOTE] You should see what **casdave** can do with a ping-pong ball! ---
**Author:** ![slaphead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@slaphead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slaphead)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2006, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/irony-thy-name-is-safety-lecture/378758/9 "2006-11-01T20:16:07Z")
[QUOTE=casdave] demonstrating … correct way … bashed her head… First Aid cabinet [/QUOTE] A double dose of irony. Anyone not laughing at that is some sort of freak. ---
**Author:** ![Sailboat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sailboat/32/461_2.png) [@Sailboat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sailboat)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2006, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/irony-thy-name-is-safety-lecture/378758/10 "2006-11-01T20:26:59Z")
[QUOTE=Max Torque] The best part of that gun safety video is how the audience starts nervously yelling, “Put it down!” when he pulls out the next gun he’s trying to demonstrate. [/QUOTE] I thought the best part was when he self-importantly says “I am the only person in this room qualified to safely handle this gun” or something very similar, followed IMMEDIATELY by the _bang_ of him shooting himself. I read somewhere he sued the DEA over releasing that video. Sailboat ---
**Author:** ![Hirundo82](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/919ad9/32.png) [@Hirundo82](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hirundo82)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2006, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/irony-thy-name-is-safety-lecture/378758/11 "2006-11-01T21:22:09Z")
[QUOTE=Sailboat] I read somewhere he sued the DEA over releasing that video. [/QUOTE] [Indeed he did.](http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/0411061foot1.html) ---
**Author:** ![Lissa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lissa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissa)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2006, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/irony-thy-name-is-safety-lecture/378758/12 "2006-11-01T22:08:13Z")
My state has spent millions training state employees how to deal with terrorism threats and what to do in case of a suspected terrorist attack. After going to this training for two weeks, the warden’s secretary opened an envelope that was sent through the office mail and was showered with white powder. So, what does she do? Does she think back to the lessons she just learned of what to do if there’s a potential biological weapon? No. No, she doesn’t. She got up from her desk, carried the leaking envelope down the hall, up a flight of stairs, through the building to the investigator’s office where my husband was and tossed it onto his desk. When he learned what it was, he recoiled. “Don’t worry,” she said. “I don’t think it’s anthrax. It smells a little like cocoa powder.” Hubby stared at her. “You-- You\* SNIFFED\* it?” he asked. “You actually _put your nose into an envelope of unknown powder and inhaled_?” “Mm hmm,” she nodded. “Sally, tell me-- what does anthrax smell like?” “Oh. Uh . . . . _Oh!_” Sally finally realized her stupidity. Luckily, they had a field testing kit which showed that the powder was benign. (It was sent off for further testing with the same results.) Hubby said his head ached just _thinking_ about the problems her little journey would have created if it had come up positive. He would have had to shut down two floors of the building, and she had exposed God-knows how many people as she passed. Your tax dollars at work, folks! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![photopat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e95f7d/32.png) [@photopat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/photopat)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2006, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/irony-thy-name-is-safety-lecture/378758/13 "2006-11-02T00:58:30Z")
[QUOTE=Lissa] “Oh. Uh . . . . _Oh!_” Sally finally realized her stupidity. [/QUOTE] Does Sally still work there? She sounds like she’d be the perfect person for testing mortar shells a’la Bugs Bunny. “Okay Sally, as the shells come down the assembly line you hit each one with a hammer. If nothing happens you write DUD on it. Got it?” ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2006, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/irony-thy-name-is-safety-lecture/378758/14 "2006-11-02T03:05:30Z")
The link goes to a [PDF report](http://www.vasa.org.au/pdf/memberlibrary/hydrocarbons/maclaine-cross.pdf), but here’s the gist: > [@](#): > > **Car explosion leads to prosecution against leading hydrocarbon promoter** > The academic whose research work has been pivotal in the push for the use of hydrocarbon (flammable) refrigerants in vehicle air conditioning systems in Australia, Dr. Ian MacLaine Cross, has been convicted in the Chief Industrial Magistrate’s Court in Sydney as a result of a hydrocarbon demonstration that went wrong, injuring MacLaine Cross and several other observers from the hydrocarbon industry. > > Workcover NSW had prosecuted Ian MacLaine Cross, of the University of New South Wales, on two breaches of the Dangerous Goods Act. > > MacLaine Cross was charged that on 12 July 2001, in a University of New South Wales carpark at Kensington, he negligently and carelessly used a hydrocarbon gas, in such a manner and circumstance as to cause or to be likely to cause injury to himself. Basically, to demonstrate that hydrocarbon gas is safe to use in motor vehicles for… something or other, he gets into a car, opens a can to completely release the contents, then strikes a match. And more importantly, there’s video goodness: [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k0K1WPCWm2k](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k0K1WPCWm2k) The earth-shattering kaboom comes at about the 4:15 mark, followed by a clip of folks in the emergency room having a chuckle at his expense. ---
**Author:** ![Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19adc/32.png) [@Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2006, 7:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/irony-thy-name-is-safety-lecture/378758/15 "2006-11-02T07:03:30Z")
I fractured my knee earlier this year stepping over a child-safety gate. That’s irony. ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2006, 7:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/irony-thy-name-is-safety-lecture/378758/16 "2006-11-02T07:31:32Z")
[QUOTE=Barbarian] I fractured my knee earlier this year stepping over a child-safety gate. That’s irony. [/QUOTE] Well, it wasn’t an _adult_-safety gate, you know. ---
**Author:** ![pullin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c57346/32.png) [@pullin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pullin)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2006, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/irony-thy-name-is-safety-lecture/378758/17 "2006-11-02T14:01:50Z")
About once a month our corporate newsletter carries an article worrying over the declining state of education (and it’s likely effect on our hi-tech business in the future). This month’s column-o-worry carried a statement that we should be concerned about “loosing our technological edge” due to declining education rates. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2006, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/irony-thy-name-is-safety-lecture/378758/18 "2006-11-02T15:01:36Z")
A couple years back, the themes of the yearly safety session were announced: hand and head injuries. In the week between the posters being put up and the actual meeting, a guy injured his hand (broke a finger pretty bad, sick leave for a couple months, recovered nicely) and another his head (they kept him at the hospital for 24h and released him, no damage done except for his pride being hurt when people remarked on his head not being a delicate organ at all). So the EHS manager started the session by saying “well, we’d gone over two years without an on-the-job injury and when I got the orders from HQ I thought it sounded like a silly pair of subjects. Should I ask HQ to please not make new year’s meeting be about ‘mortal accidents’ or will you remember that your heads are for thinking and not for banging them?” ---
**Author:** ![muldoonthief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muldoonthief/32/3188_2.png) [@muldoonthief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/muldoonthief)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2006, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/irony-thy-name-is-safety-lecture/378758/19 "2006-11-02T16:50:30Z")
The OSHA poster where I work (and probably where you work too if you’re in the USA) has a picture on it with 2 safety violations - an electrician with a large loose coil of cable on his belt, and a cook carrying a large unsheathed knife. Here’s a pdf of the [poster](http://www.osha.gov/Publications/osha3165.pdf). Apparently someone noticed something wrong, since the knife has been photoshopped out - it’s the woman 3rd from the right, with the large pan of sausages. She was holding the knife in her right fist by her leg. You can still she the shadow of the knife on her white coat. The electrician with the cable is still present though. ---
**Author:** ![ouryL](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ouryl/32/6067_2.png) [@ouryL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ouryL)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2006, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/irony-thy-name-is-safety-lecture/378758/20 "2006-11-02T19:18:19Z")
Seasoned sporting goods store employee to rookie: “_Never_ test fire a pellet gun. Leave it to us more experienced employees to determine if a returned gun is defective.” In walks customer with defective gun. Ambulance called because more experienced employee shoots his own hand. :eek: [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/irony-thy-name-is-safety-lecture/378758.md?page=2)