# Is 6months to early for promise ring? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 9, 2013, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-6months-to-early-for-promise-ring/663009 "2013-07-09T03:58:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![H\_dog\_3\_13](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8491ac/32.png) [@H\_dog\_3\_13](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/H_dog_3_13)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2013, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-6months-to-early-for-promise-ring/663009/1 "2013-07-09T03:58:59Z")
I want to get my girlfriend a promise ring for our 6 month aniversry this wednesday. i believe that i am truly in love with her but my mom and sister say its to early. is it? im 18 ---
**Author:** ![Ranger\_Jeff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranger_jeff/32/2065_2.png) [@Ranger\_Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger_Jeff)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2013, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-6months-to-early-for-promise-ring/663009/2 "2013-07-09T04:00:55Z")
Your mother and sister are right. ---
**Author:** ![Duckster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duckster/32/1244_2.png) [@Duckster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duckster)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2013, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-6months-to-early-for-promise-ring/663009/3 "2013-07-09T04:19:23Z")
> [@Ranger\_Jeff](#): > > Your mother and sister are right. Word. ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2013, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-6months-to-early-for-promise-ring/663009/4 "2013-07-09T04:21:37Z")
> [@Ranger\_Jeff](#): > > Your mother and sister are right. Agred. No hurry. Trust us. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2013, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-6months-to-early-for-promise-ring/663009/5 "2013-07-09T04:28:04Z")
Since the OP is looking for advice, let’s move this to IMHO. Colibri General Questions Moderator ---
**Author:** ![Pai325](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@Pai325](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pai325)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2013, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-6months-to-early-for-promise-ring/663009/6 "2013-07-09T04:34:32Z")
I agree with your mother and sister. Six months isn’t long enough to get out of the starry-eyed feeling that everything she does is cute, and into the part where some of the things she does annoy you, and you have to deal with it. Give yourselves some time to get to know each other. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2013, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-6months-to-early-for-promise-ring/663009/7 "2013-07-09T04:39:32Z")
Oh, yes, I remember the whole “promise ring” thing, and every single couple I ever heard of who did it broke up within a matter of days. ---
**Author:** ![opossum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/2bfe46/32.png) [@opossum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/opossum)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2013, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-6months-to-early-for-promise-ring/663009/8 "2013-07-09T04:55:26Z")
> [@H\_dog\_3\_13](#): > > I want to get my girlfriend a promise ring for our 6 month aniversry this wednesday. i believe that i am truly in love with her but my mom and sister say its to early. is it? im 18 What is a promise ring? ---
**Author:** ![sisu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@sisu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sisu)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2013, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-6months-to-early-for-promise-ring/663009/9 "2013-07-09T04:58:28Z")
aw so cute, yeah do it mate and if it works awesome but if it doesn’t remember what doesn’t kill you etc… Why do people feel the need to protect people from making mistakes and feeling pain, go for it mate! ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2013, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-6months-to-early-for-promise-ring/663009/10 "2013-07-09T05:12:52Z")
> [@opossum](#): > > What is a promise ring? > **[Pre-engagement ring](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pre-engagement_ring)** > > A pre-engagement ring, sometimes referred to as a friendship ring or promise ring, is a ring given as a gift to a romantic partner to signify a commitment to a monogamous relationship, often as a precursor to an engagement ring. A heterosexual couple typically has the man presenting a ring or both exchanging rings, though women may present one as well. They may be worn on any finger due to not being as serious as an engagement ring, though they are sometimes worn on a necklace. These rings are ty... > [@](#): > > A pre-engagement ring (also known as a promise ring) is a ring given to a romantic partner to signify a commitment to a monogamous relationship, often as a precursor to an engagement ring.[1][2] Promise rings can be worn on any finger, but those symbolizing pre-engagement are generally worn on the left ring finger; sometimes, the left middle finger or right ring finger is used instead to prevent confusion with an actual engagement ring. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2013, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-6months-to-early-for-promise-ring/663009/11 "2013-07-09T05:18:03Z")
Just as an FYI don’t be surprised if she does not take it well. A promise ring after 6 months just stinks of clammy, puppy-like, please love me desperation. Women usually don’t like that. It’s not something a self confident man would do. ---
**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2013, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-6months-to-early-for-promise-ring/663009/12 "2013-07-09T05:21:44Z")
I really doubt you should do anything super extra special for your 6th month-iversary, but that’s just me. I mean, you can if you both want to, but don’t feel pressured into it. Look, if she likes pretty jewelry, get her a nice not-too-expensive ring. I don’t mean $5 claw machine trash – I just mean don’t break the bank on it, no elaborate $400 monstrosities. No silly promises or engagements or strings attached, just as a “I was thinking of you and thought you might like this” present. That’s a nice gift and will make her feel happy (IF SHE LIKES JEWELRY and IS NOT TOO PICKY ABOUT IT). But don’t attach some weird promise or significance to it beyond “I was thinking of you when I saw this”. If you do a “promise ring” at all, I agree with mom and sis, it’s too soon. It’s not too soon to get her a nice no-strings-attached present, though. Or hell, just say you’d like to buy her a cute ring as a present some time when you’re out together near a ring shop. That way you don’t have to move heaven and earth to figure out her ring size, and she gets to tell you before you potentially waste your money on it whether she actually likes it or not. Basically: if the key is the “promise” part of “promise ring” it’s way too soon, and kind of clingy and weird. If the ring is the key part, there’s plenty of avenues to go about that that are closer to “sweet” than “clingy and creepy”. ---
**Author:** ![opossum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/2bfe46/32.png) [@opossum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/opossum)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2013, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-6months-to-early-for-promise-ring/663009/13 "2013-07-09T05:38:54Z")
> [@astro](#): > > [Pre-engagement ring - Wikipedia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pre-engagement_ring) Agreeing to be monogamous is an important step, and if you both want to celebrate it with a ring, go ahead and have that fun. You might want to discuss it first, to avoid any surprises (ie “you want me to be what?” or “we weren’t monogamous before?”). Best of luck! ---
**Author:** ![Strainger](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/strainger/32/244_2.png) [@Strainger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Strainger)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2013, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-6months-to-early-for-promise-ring/663009/14 "2013-07-09T05:40:48Z")
Too early. Wait until you’re 90. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2013, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-6months-to-early-for-promise-ring/663009/15 "2013-07-09T05:43:21Z")
Just do a pinkie-swear and call it a day. ---
**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2013, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-6months-to-early-for-promise-ring/663009/16 "2013-07-09T05:43:23Z")
> [@opossum](#): > > Agreeing to be monogamous is an important step, and if you both want to celebrate it with a ring, go ahead and have that fun. You might want to discuss it first, to avoid any surprises (ie “you want me to be what?” or “we weren’t monogamous before?”). Best of luck! I’d agree with this. Agreeing that you’re “together” is important to clear up, but I think springing a ring out of nowhere and “proposing monogamy” is sort of strange. If you both want to celebrate being official with a gift that’s another thing entirely. I was mostly just assuming the OP was going to play some weird “spring a ring on her and ask her to not-marry me”. ---
**Author:** ![opossum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/2bfe46/32.png) [@opossum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/opossum)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2013, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-6months-to-early-for-promise-ring/663009/17 "2013-07-09T05:54:46Z")
> [@Jragon](#): > > I’d agree with this. Agreeing that you’re “together” is important to clear up, but I think springing a ring out of nowhere and “proposing monogamy” is sort of strange. If you both want to celebrate being official with a gift that’s another thing entirely. I was mostly just assuming the OP was going to play some weird “spring a ring on her and ask her to not-marry me”. I assumed the same thing. Bad idea. ETA: Ambivalid’s idea works, as an alternative. ---
**Author:** ![B.Serum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/b.serum/32/14266_2.png) [@B.Serum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/B.Serum)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2013, 6:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-6months-to-early-for-promise-ring/663009/18 "2013-07-09T06:35:20Z")
I know that a promise ring isn’t exactly an engagement which isn’t exactly marriage. However, let me share some food for thought… **1. Permit me share you a personal anecdote** My wonderful, beloved live-in girlfriend of 6 years is a divorcé, formerly married to her high-school sweetie. **2. An innocent, please-take-at-face-value-question** Do you come from a fairly religious background? **3. Experience** At your age, I have to assume you don’t have an immense wealth of sexual and relationship experience. A lot of kids in their 20’s and early 30’s are hooking up with a number of partners. Typically, it takes people a few tries to make mistakes and learning from them before they’re “qualified” for the wealth of challenges of a lasting, monogamous (I’m assuming), life-long relationship. **4. Please avail yourself to this reading list.** [ul] [li][Marriage Expectations: Young People Expect Marriages To Last, Study Says](http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/08/17/marriage-expectations_n_1784371.html)[/li][li][Divorce Rates For Teen Marriages Revealed](http://remotecontrol.mtv.com/2012/02/14/divorce-rates-teen-marriages/)[/li][li][Why the Teenage Divorce Rate Is High](http://www.smart-teenagers.com/teenage-divorce-rate.html)[/li][li][Early Teen Marriage and Future Poverty](http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3000061/)[/li][li][Now, the Bad News on Teenage Marriage](http://www.nytimes.com/2008/09/04/fashion/04marriage.html?partner=rssuserland&emc=rss&pagewanted=all&_r=0)[/li][/ul] I don’t mean to trivialize your life experiences, but you’ve only just begun on what will be a very long road. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2013, 10:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-6months-to-early-for-promise-ring/663009/19 "2013-07-09T10:56:31Z")
When I was 19, I met and dated a guy who I was so sure was _The One_[sup]TM[/sup]. I met his folks and really liked them. I thought about him all the time. It’s 40 years later - he’s been married 4 times, widowed once, divorced 3 times, tho never once to me. Moral of my story, such as it is - don’t rush it. When it’s right for you, you won’t be asking for advice on a message board. At 18, there’s so much ahead of you - no need settle your future so soon! ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2013, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-6months-to-early-for-promise-ring/663009/20 "2013-07-09T12:53:28Z")
[If](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Promise_Ring) you’re a best looking boy, there’s no emergency or s.o.s: you might find April over bread and coffee or in the Sea of Cortez. But later, you might say goodbye good or even “why did we ever meet?” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-6months-to-early-for-promise-ring/663009.md?page=2)