# Is a Wheelchair a Turn-off?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-a-wheelchair-a-turn-off/643447
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [December 8, 2012, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-a-wheelchair-a-turn-off/643447 "2012-12-08T20:58:20Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 2
### Author:  [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)
#### Post date: [December 8, 2012, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-a-wheelchair-a-turn-off/643447/21 "2012-12-08T22:55:45Z")
I work with a guy in a chair, who happens to be exceptionally good looking. A bunch of women in the office were pondering whether “it still works” which rather amused me, because the dude has no legs. I mean, obviously it’s possible that whatever injury resulted in the loss of the legs may have damaged the junk (I have no idea what happened there, just to clarify), but it’s clearly not a spinal injury so the odds are everything works fine.
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### Author:  [@Zjestika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zjestika)
#### Post date: [December 8, 2012, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-a-wheelchair-a-turn-off/643447/22 "2012-12-08T23:01:20Z")
How many 9 or 10s do we have around here anyway? Show of hands, hotties!
Speaking as maybe a 6, my answer is probably. It just seems like a huge complication, like that my hypothetical single-lady apartment is totally not accessible. Will sex be awkward? And walking together might be strange- I’m not used to being taller than someone. On the other hand, a strong upper body is really attractive, and if the person seemed nice and fun and interesting and good looking to me I wouldn’t be turned off as in grossed out by the chair, but it would be complicated.
To be honest, **Ambivalid** , I might also wonder if every little thing will be about the wheelchair. I don’t have much interaction with people in wheelchairs, so my sample is really just you, and your identity seems really tied up in it. Obviously it’s a big deal to you, but I’m not sure I’d want it to be a big deal in my relationship.
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### Author:  [@fisha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fisha)
#### Post date: [December 8, 2012, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-a-wheelchair-a-turn-off/643447/23 "2012-12-08T23:02:09Z")
If I was in the market, and I’m not, I could be attracted to a guy who happened to be in a wheelchair, and could go out on a few dates, be friends, but no serious long term. That’s volunteering for a lot of work, and long term relationships are hard enough work when it’s perfect.
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### Author:  [@fisha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fisha)
#### Post date: [December 8, 2012, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-a-wheelchair-a-turn-off/643447/24 "2012-12-08T23:11:30Z")
Thinking more in depth about this. You could be in a wheelchair, just not sci. Amputee ok, I think my thought process is a percentage of non functioning body. Limp, missing a leg or arm, not a deal breaker if it was an accident. Double amputee, depends. Paralyzed, nope.
Dick has to work in all circumstances, though.
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### Author:  [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)
#### Post date: [December 8, 2012, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-a-wheelchair-a-turn-off/643447/25 "2012-12-08T23:16:56Z")
> [@Zjestika](#):
>
> How many 9 or 10s do we have around here anyway? Show of hands, hotties!
FWIW, my answer would be the same if I were a 2. I’m a happily single 8 because relationships are a lot of fucking work and I haven’t met anyone I want to be with enough to merit it. Not wanting to deal with the added burden of a disability isn’t because of my looks, it’s because of my (admittedly flawed :)) personality.
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### Author:  [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)
#### Post date: [December 8, 2012, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-a-wheelchair-a-turn-off/643447/26 "2012-12-08T23:16:56Z")
I’d just be concerned about sex but if that wasn’t a problem, it wouldn’t bother me. It would have to be pretty not a problem though. I know some men in wheelchairs can get it up but can’t feel anything and the woman still has sex with him. I could never do that. I also wouldn’t want a huge inconvenience. But if everything is all figured out as far as accessible transportation, self-care, etc., then great. I think.
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### Author:  [@Troppus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troppus)
#### Post date: [December 8, 2012, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-a-wheelchair-a-turn-off/643447/27 "2012-12-08T23:17:57Z")
Hmm, I’m all about some dick, but if hypothetical wheelchair guy indicates an interest in sex I’d be curious about what that entailed, but wouldn’t give the mechanics much thought. Maybe because sex is more of a cerebral thing for me, I’d be way more interested in getting in HWCG’s head than worrying about the plumbing. So put my vote in that jar.
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### Author:  [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)
#### Post date: [December 8, 2012, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-a-wheelchair-a-turn-off/643447/28 "2012-12-08T23:25:55Z")
> [@DianaG](#):
>
> I work with a guy in a chair, who happens to be exceptionally good looking. A bunch of women in the office were pondering whether “it still works” which rather amused me, because the dude has no legs.
I’m I the only person that this thought never occurred to? I guess in a work setting it’s a bit different, but if a fella were hitting on me I would sort of assume that everything was a-ok in that department (even if a-ok involved Viagra, or whatever).
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### Author:  [@Peremensoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peremensoe)
#### Post date: [December 8, 2012, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-a-wheelchair-a-turn-off/643447/29 "2012-12-08T23:33:16Z")
You would be wrong. Not speaking from direct personal knowledge here, but I have it on exceedingly good authority that sexual interest remains when the primary equipment is out of commission.
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### Author:  [@Zjestika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zjestika)
#### Post date: [December 8, 2012, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-a-wheelchair-a-turn-off/643447/30 "2012-12-08T23:33:34Z")
No, **alice** , it doesn’t occur to me either whether it works, I just wonder how it would go, like it would be weird and embarassing… but that’s the way most sex is anyway, so maybe it doesn’t matter.
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### Author:  [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)
#### Post date: [December 8, 2012, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-a-wheelchair-a-turn-off/643447/31 "2012-12-08T23:34:01Z")
As Permensoe said, the desire for sexual activity isn’t reliant upon erection, nor is the desire for companionship. Even if not everything “works” there’s other stuff to do.
That said, as Blackberry mentioned, I would be profoundly uncomfortable having sex with someone who I knew wasn’t enjoying it the way I am. That’s not a reflection on them, by the way.
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### Author:  [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)
#### Post date: [December 8, 2012, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-a-wheelchair-a-turn-off/643447/32 "2012-12-08T23:35:45Z")
> [@Peremensoe](#):
>
> You would be wrong. Not speaking from direct personal knowledge here, but I have it on exceedingly good authority that sexual interest remains when the primary equipment is out of commission.
Well good to know then. This particular issue has never come up for me so it’s not really on my radar I guess.
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### Author:  [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)
#### Post date: [December 8, 2012, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-a-wheelchair-a-turn-off/643447/33 "2012-12-08T23:45:58Z")
> [@John\_Mace](#):
>
> When adding up the pros and cons, it would almost certainly be a con.
>
> That is not to say it would be deal breaker, but it probably wouldn’t help.
Agreed. Basically what I said in the limp thread.
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### Author:  [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)
#### Post date: [December 8, 2012, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-a-wheelchair-a-turn-off/643447/34 "2012-12-08T23:56:55Z")
A wheelchair wouldn’t matter for me.
But a guy only interested in the opinions of, “a 9 or a 10”?
So you don’t want to be callously eliminated from the dating pool by something such as a chair, which isn’t who you are, or all you are. Yet you eliminate anyone not a 9/10 without recognizing it’s not who they are, or all they are?
It’s not the wheelchair that’s doing the offputting, in my humble opinion.
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### Author:  [@Troppus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troppus)
#### Post date: [December 9, 2012, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-a-wheelchair-a-turn-off/643447/35 "2012-12-09T00:00:52Z")
> [@elbows](#):
>
> A wheelchair wouldn’t matter for me.
>
> But a guy only interested in the opinions of, “a 9 or a 10”?
>
> So you don’t want to be callously eliminated from the dating pool by something such as a chair, which isn’t who you are, or all you are. Yet you eliminate anyone not a 9/10 without recognizing it’s not who they are, or all they are?
>
> It’s not the wheelchair that’s doing the offputting, in my humble opinion.
Ruh-ealy good point.
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### Author:  [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)
#### Post date: [December 9, 2012, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-a-wheelchair-a-turn-off/643447/36 "2012-12-09T00:01:31Z")
Oh, the OP has always been quite vocal about what makes a woman unattractive (and not just to him, but _in general_), so let’s not feel the need to tiptoe here.
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### Author:  [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)
#### Post date: [December 9, 2012, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-a-wheelchair-a-turn-off/643447/37 "2012-12-09T00:08:35Z")
> [@elbows](#):
>
> A wheelchair wouldn’t matter for me.
>
> But a guy only interested in the opinions of, “a 9 or a 10”?
>
> So you don’t want to be callously eliminated from the dating pool by something such as a chair, which isn’t who you are, or all you are. Yet you eliminate anyone not a 9/10 without recognizing it’s not who they are, or all they are?
>
> It’s not the wheelchair that’s doing the offputting, in my humble opinion.
Ugh, I get so sick of your combative attitude. The only reason I put the “9 or 10” question in my OP was to make a point. It had NOTHING to do with not wanting to hear the input from those who weren’t in that category. But for those who are recognizably “beautiful”, would someone in a wheelchair even be visible to them?
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### Author:  [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)
#### Post date: [December 9, 2012, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-a-wheelchair-a-turn-off/643447/38 "2012-12-09T00:12:23Z")
Depends. Am I looking down?
(I kid, I kid. 😉 That said; kid, you don’t get to bitch about anyone else’s combative attitude.)
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### Author:  [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)
#### Post date: [December 9, 2012, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-a-wheelchair-a-turn-off/643447/39 "2012-12-09T00:12:29Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#):
>
> But for those who are recognizably “beautiful”, would someone in a wheelchair even be visible to them?
So you got your answer - probably not, unless you ran over her foot.
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### Author:  [@taskmgr.exe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/taskmgr.exe)
#### Post date: [December 9, 2012, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-a-wheelchair-a-turn-off/643447/40 "2012-12-09T00:14:21Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#):
>
> And please, don’t let the idea of “being a shallow or bad person” stop you from being honest. I don’t think there is anything inherently wrong with saying people in wheelchairs just aren’t attractive and you could not see yourself in a relationship with that person. However, whenever this question comes up, people just fall over themselves rushing to say how much the wheelchair DOESN’T matter and its the personality that counts. Well ask any person who uses a chair if their chair “matters” when it comes to dating. Hell to the yeah.
My brother,
> [@Why do some people mock the ones who are suicidal?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-some-people-mock-the-ones-who-are-suicidal/612537/32):
>
> People demonize the weak because they don’t want to be them, be associated with them, empathize with them, experience in any way the hopeless circles they travel in.
I do think it’s a turn-off, to be honest.
I believe you will happiness anyway!
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