# Is adding preferred pronouns to the chat boxes possible? **URL:** \ **Category:** Site Feedback\ **Created:** [December 30, 2023, 8:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-adding-preferred-pronouns-to-the-chat-boxes-possible/995336 "2023-12-30T08:40:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![nightshadea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7ba0ec/32.png) [@nightshadea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nightshadea)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2023, 8:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-adding-preferred-pronouns-to-the-chat-boxes-possible/995336/1 "2023-12-30T08:40:02Z")
OK theres a debate about using pronouns here > [@Please stop using singular they for posters who have an established gender](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-stop-using-singular-they-for-posters-who-have-an-established-gender/995306): > > This is not a pit thread and I’m not calling anyone out in particular. I’ve just noticed a growing trend on this board. Poster A is male, (or female). Poster B has interacted with A enough, or is in a thread where the preponderance of he or she pronouns about A clearly show A’s gender. B makes a long post about A consistently using they/them. I’m not a fan of singular they for known individuals at the best of times. Although I’d respect if and use it for someone who specifically requests if for… and a debate on doing this from a year ago > [@Adding a "Pronouns" custom user field? Good idea, or the worst idea?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/adding-a-pronouns-custom-user-field-good-idea-or-the-worst-idea/973025/101): > > i think we should put in the option just to make debates like this obslete [https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-stop-using-singular-they-for-posters-who-have-an-established-gender/995306](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-stop-using-singular-they-for-posters-who-have-an-established-gender/995306) … but what im asking is can the option get done technically on the board or will ya have to rewrite stuff ? ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2023, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-adding-preferred-pronouns-to-the-chat-boxes-possible/995336/2 "2023-12-30T12:56:42Z")
What’s do you mean by “chat box”? Anyone can now post their pronouns into their profile. Just stuff them in the “name”, “location”, or “About me” fields of their user profile. Those are found under Preferences \>\> Account or Preferences \>\> Profile. Then when someone clicks your avatar/icon (the big sorta light blue N in your case) they can see them. Many users have already done that. It’s still a minority interest, but more people all the time. ---
**Author:** ![pjd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pjd/32/3009_2.png) [@pjd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pjd)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2023, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-adding-preferred-pronouns-to-the-chat-boxes-possible/995336/3 "2023-12-30T19:26:09Z")
It’s definitely possible… I think it could be achieved with the following settings :- - Full name is a required field of a user’s profile. (This adds a new field - Name - to the user’s Account page in Preferences which can be used to display pronouns) - Show the user’s full name on their profile, user card, and emails. - Show a user’s full name on their posts in addition to their @username. - Show username first on user page, user card and posts (So it appears as “ **pjd** He/Him”. If not set it would show as “ **He/Him** pjd”) As usual, it would require admin/mod approval. Maybe @engineer_comp_geek could look into it if enough users were interested. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2023, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-adding-preferred-pronouns-to-the-chat-boxes-possible/995336/4 "2023-12-30T20:05:31Z")
> [@pjd](#): > > - Show the user’s full name on their profile, user card, and emails. > - Show a user’s full name on their posts in addition to their @username. **Absolutely. Not. Ever.** In the time I have been on this board I have been subjected to doxing attempts AND people sending me PM’s telling me to kill myself (I have shown these to mods). There is no way in hell I am EVER going to use my legal name here. I will quit the board if that is ever required. Maybe you have never been subjected to internet bullying or harassment but I have . **What you are proposing is unsafe,** particularly for women and minorities but also for men who hold opinions other men disagree with or find “unmanly” or whatever. It seems innocuous until you have someone attempting to ruin your life because you dared to disagree with them on a message board. Frankly, I don’t care what pronoun people use in reference to myself. I want them to judge me on my words, not my gender. Fact is, I am frequently mistaken for a man on line. If anything, I find it amusing. My gender is usually not relevant to the topic I’m discussing, and if/when it is I can state I am a woman (or sometimes a cis gender heterosexual female, depending on context). Otherwise… it just doesn’t matter to me. What I have long found puzzling is why this matters so much to _other_ people who get incensed if I am “mis-gendered” on line and will get all twisted up about it. If I have a problem with how another poster is referring to me I will address it. I don’t need other people correcting other people on my behalf. Anyone who has ever read one of my dissertation-length posts knows full well I am very capable of speaking up for myself and going on at length about anything important to me. **Now, what _would_ work is a field that’s displayed along with the username/avatar listing preferred pronouns.** That option can still turn into a quagmire if it’s done poorly, but I’m on other boards where it works very well and keeps folks happy. For those for whom pronouns matter they can have them out there for everyone to use the proper ones. For those like me who don’t care… well, I don’t care, it affects me not at all. ---
**Author:** ![nightshadea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7ba0ec/32.png) [@nightshadea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nightshadea)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2023, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-adding-preferred-pronouns-to-the-chat-boxes-possible/995336/5 "2023-12-30T20:16:31Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > Now, what _would_ work is a field that’s displayed along with the username/avatar listing preferred pronouns this is what i was trying to inquire about ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2023, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-adding-preferred-pronouns-to-the-chat-boxes-possible/995336/6 "2023-12-30T20:20:54Z")
The list of popular pronouns is so long. Changes regularly. I think it’s a mistake to do it. If you wanna identify do it with your avatar in a way that’s understandable. If you don’t, go with a blank. Some posters already do it. ---
**Author:** ![pjd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pjd/32/3009_2.png) [@pjd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pjd)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2023, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-adding-preferred-pronouns-to-the-chat-boxes-possible/995336/7 "2023-12-30T20:32:19Z")
You don’t have to enter your name at all if you don’t want to - i wouldn’t either. You can just put pronouns in. If you want to. AFAIK, the SDMB/Discourse don’t know real names. > [@nightshadea](#): > > > [@Broomstick](#): > > > > Now, what _would_ work is a field that’s displayed along with the username/avatar listing preferred pronouns > > this is what i was trying to inquire about I think this would achieve it. > [@Beckdawrek](#): > > The list of popular pronouns is so long. Changes regularly. > I think it’s a mistake to do it. You’d only put in any pronouns you want applied to you, and it’s optional. ---
**Author:** ![thorny\_locust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thorny_locust/32/431_2.png) [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2023, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-adding-preferred-pronouns-to-the-chat-boxes-possible/995336/8 "2023-12-30T21:25:06Z")
> [@pjd](#): > > I think this would achieve it. So what you’re trying to suggest is something along the lines of this board’s instructions for flagging posts, which say in effect “don’t do what Discus tells you to do here, do something else instead”? In other words, for this particular case, “this field says ‘full name’. Do not put your full name here. Either put your pronouns here or just put in something else altogether”? Is there a way for this board to include those instructions in the profile form itself? Because if not, I doubt it’s possible to get them across to everybody, and instead you’ll get a whole lot of upset people refusing to put their full names in. ---
**Author:** ![pjd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pjd/32/3009_2.png) [@pjd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pjd)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2023, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-adding-preferred-pronouns-to-the-chat-boxes-possible/995336/9 "2023-12-30T21:37:45Z")
> [@thorny\_locust](#): > > In other words, for this particular case, “this field says ‘full name’. Do not put your full name here. Either put your pronouns here or just put in something else altogether”? Or nothing. Yes. It’s a workaround. I don’t know if it’s possible to change the prompt for the name box (i’ll investigate further). It would just be another “feature” that people can use, or ask about if they don’t know, like all the other features that people still ask about (eg How do i blur spoilers ?, how do i post images ? etc). It would be very handy if there was a single SDMB user manual somewhere with all these Discourse features … ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2023, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-adding-preferred-pronouns-to-the-chat-boxes-possible/995336/10 "2023-12-30T21:42:13Z")
Yeah, as it is right now, I think Discourse requires that there be something in the “Full Name” field, but it defaults to being the same thing as the username. We don’t require anyone to put their real name in there, and even if we did, we couldn’t enforce it. I think that the only connection this board ever had to anyone’s real name was way back in the day when we briefly charged for membership, and your credit card would have had your real name on it, but even then, I think we used a third-party credit card processor, and the real name never even reached this site. If we did use the “Full Name” field for pronouns, one implication would be that ever email notification would tell you that “He/him” or “She/Her” or whatever was replying to your thread, since email notifications, for whatever reason, use the “Full Name” field, not the “Username” field. ---
**Author:** ![thorny\_locust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thorny_locust/32/431_2.png) [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2023, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-adding-preferred-pronouns-to-the-chat-boxes-possible/995336/11 "2023-12-30T21:43:53Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > If we did use the “Full Name” field for pronouns, one implication would be that ever email notification would tell you that “He/him” or “She/Her” or whatever was replying to your thread, since email notifications, for whatever reason, use the “Full Name” field, not the “Username” field. Ack! that would be a mess. ---
**Author:** ![pjd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pjd/32/3009_2.png) [@pjd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pjd)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2023, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-adding-preferred-pronouns-to-the-chat-boxes-possible/995336/12 "2023-12-30T22:04:54Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > I think Discourse requires that there be something in the “Full Name” field, That doesn’t appear to be the case … but > [@Chronos](#): > > ever email notification would tell you that “He/him” or “She/Her” or whatever was replying to your thread could be a problem ! Oh well… it was just a thought. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2023, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-adding-preferred-pronouns-to-the-chat-boxes-possible/995336/13 "2023-12-30T22:19:49Z")
So if that field is empty, what do the email notifications say? Edited to answer my own question, since @pjd has that field blank and just replied to me: It looks like Discourse resolves that one by just not sending email notifications for people with blank names. ---
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2023, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-adding-preferred-pronouns-to-the-chat-boxes-possible/995336/14 "2023-12-31T04:48:35Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > If I have a problem with how another poster is referring to me I will address it. This. The only one who has a right to worry about misgendering is the person misgendered. If they’re bothered, they can raise it. If they’re not bothered, no-one else should worry about it. No need for mods to get involved, unless the person in question raises an issue. No need to tinker with board software and try to make other posters do something. ---
**Author:** ![commasense](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/commasense/32/3017_2.png) [@commasense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/commasense)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2023, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-adding-preferred-pronouns-to-the-chat-boxes-possible/995336/15 "2023-12-31T05:11:48Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > since email notifications, for whatever reason, use the “Full Name” field, not the “Username” field. This explains a little mystery I was wondering about. I recently received an e-mail notification that @LSLGuy had replied to one of my posts, but the e-mail subject line said “Retired has replied…” Apparently LSLGuy has put “Retired” in the Full Name field. It also shows up following his handle when you tag him with an ampersand and Discourse shows you all the possible user names starting with @LSL. (His is the only one.) ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2023, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-adding-preferred-pronouns-to-the-chat-boxes-possible/995336/16 "2023-12-31T05:25:10Z")
Yep. When we moved from vBulletin to Discourse I moved my then-motto into the “full name” field so it would appear just below my username when you clicked my avatar. I neither knew nor cared what other uses that field might have. Over time my motto has changed and is currently “Retired”. Similar oddities with “full name” occur for folks who’d changed their username, either as part of the migration or back under vBulletin. It appears their prior UserID is loaded into the “Full name” field. ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2024, 6:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-adding-preferred-pronouns-to-the-chat-boxes-possible/995336/17 "2024-01-01T06:58:40Z")
That’s why I have “Mr. Atama”. It should inform people of my pronouns and if I message them, it shouldn’t be too difficult to figure out who it’s from. ---
**Author:** ![I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/i_love_me_vol.i/32/521_2.png) [@I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_Love_Me_Vol.I)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2024, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-adding-preferred-pronouns-to-the-chat-boxes-possible/995336/18 "2024-01-04T01:32:14Z")
Before we settle the question of pronouns can we make it so the user info boxes are viewable for everyone? So we can see any pronouns and everything else, too? I don’t understand allowing this information to be hidden, especially by brand new users. Thats not exactly Fighting Ignorance. Rather the opposite, actually. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2024, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-adding-preferred-pronouns-to-the-chat-boxes-possible/995336/19 "2024-01-04T02:57:09Z")
Agree completely. Since everything in the User Profile can be left blank, and is left blank by default, the hidden/not-hidden switch should default to not-hidden. ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2024, 6:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-adding-preferred-pronouns-to-the-chat-boxes-possible/995336/20 "2024-01-04T06:41:58Z")
I see zero benefit for allowing private profiles, [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-adding-preferred-pronouns-to-the-chat-boxes-possible/995336.md?page=2)