# Is anal bleaching for you? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 16, 2007, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-anal-bleaching-for-you/419387 "2007-09-16T14:12:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![saoirse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@saoirse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saoirse)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2007, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-anal-bleaching-for-you/419387/101 "2007-09-19T14:42:43Z")
[QUOTE=Larry Mudd] “You love that one, Barry!” [/QUOTE] If that’s a reference to a Billy Mays commercial, I think we need go no further. ---
**Author:** ![chowder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/977dab/32.png) [@chowder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chowder)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2007, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-anal-bleaching-for-you/419387/102 "2007-09-19T15:49:32Z")
[QUOTE=Ponder Stibbons] I smell a new Olympic event! [/QUOTE] Bronze Medal…San Marino with a splatter distance of 62.5 meters with 3 splash marks Silver Medal…Liechenstein with a splatter distance of 62.9 meters with 1 splash mark Gold Medal and new Olympic Champion and record holder…The Vatican with a splatter distance of 75.7 meters and a clear passage ---
**Author:** ![akira5822](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/53a042/32.png) [@akira5822](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/akira5822)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2007, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-anal-bleaching-for-you/419387/103 "2007-09-19T15:52:42Z")
[QUOTE=Thudlow Boink] :rolleyes: Just what the world needs: more white assholes. [/QUOTE] Are you going to come and clean coffee off my keyboard ??? lol 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Ian\_Rey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/77aa72/32.png) [@Ian\_Rey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ian_Rey)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2007, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-anal-bleaching-for-you/419387/104 "2007-09-19T17:27:15Z")
It’s interesting to note, at this moment, Uranus is at its brightest and most visible, and the rotation of Uranus had made its rings visible for the first time in 40 years. ---
**Author:** ![Madstylist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4af34b/32.png) [@Madstylist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Madstylist)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2007, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-anal-bleaching-for-you/419387/105 "2007-09-20T15:05:13Z")
Anal bleaching? In the atypical American fashion of “take an idea, run with it, make it bigger and better, and beat it into the ground” I wonder if people are doing anal (or anal proximity) tattooing. This really has my brain working, is it possible? And what might Anal tattoing be like. The words “Circle of Trust” neatly scribed around the anus comes to mind. Or perhaps one could make it look like a flower. Can you imagine the healing process? What about those afraid to commit to any one design? Could you do anal henna? I’m willing to bet, somewhere, someone has done it. ---
**Author:** ![Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ccd318/32.png) [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_in_Qatar)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2007, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-anal-bleaching-for-you/419387/106 "2007-09-20T15:38:19Z")
I wonder if they offer Mother’s Day discounts. (I am _so_ going to hell for that. ---
**Author:** ![Duke\_of\_Rat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Duke\_of\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke_of_Rat)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2007, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-anal-bleaching-for-you/419387/107 "2007-09-20T15:39:35Z")
[QUOTE=Ian Rey] It’s interesting to note, at this moment, Uranus is at its brightest and most visible, and the rotation of Uranus had made its rings visible for the first time in 40 years. [/QUOTE] Not if you have a hand mirror. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2007, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-anal-bleaching-for-you/419387/108 "2007-09-20T15:47:38Z")
[QUOTE=Madstylist] And what might Anal tattoing be like. [/QUOTE] I always thought [this](http://home.pacific.net.au/~ahw/eye_bill.jpg) eye would look better winking. Maybe it’d be appropriate for the backside of a Bill. ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2007, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-anal-bleaching-for-you/419387/109 "2007-09-20T16:36:16Z")
[QUOTE=Ian Rey] It’s interesting to note, at this moment, Uranus is at its brightest and most visible, and the rotation of Uranus had made its rings visible for the first time in 40 years. [/QUOTE] Wow, that’s interesting! So can I see Uranus with the naked eye or do I need some special equipment? ---
**Author:** ![Spiff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiff/32/9852_2.png) [@Spiff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiff)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2007, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-anal-bleaching-for-you/419387/110 "2007-09-20T17:37:19Z")
This thread is SO bookmarked! Carry on. Please! I’d comment now, but: 1. All the good lines, puns, etc. have already been taken AND 1. I can’t read the article in the OP due to a workplace filter But … you can **bet your sweet ass** that I’ll be back here after reading the article tonght from home. (Hey, I guess I did just make a joke, sorta.) ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2007, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-anal-bleaching-for-you/419387/111 "2007-09-20T18:41:50Z")
Not only is anal bleaching for me, I’m having it done _right now_, while I type this. So far, so good. Wait a minute… OW! That stings…! Uh. Gotta go. ---
**Author:** ![supervenusfreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@supervenusfreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/supervenusfreak)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2007, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-anal-bleaching-for-you/419387/112 "2007-09-20T21:39:08Z")
Oy. All I can think of now is how popular Crest Whitening Strips and big hole punchers are going to be in the gayborhoods. ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2007, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-anal-bleaching-for-you/419387/113 "2007-09-20T22:24:55Z")
[QUOTE=Elendil’s Heir] Not only is anal bleaching for me, I’m having it done _right now_, while I type this. So far, so good. Wait a minute… OW! That stings…! Uh. Gotta go. [/QUOTE] I’d be real careful about “going” while getting your anus bleached if I were you… …what? ---
**Author:** ![coffeecat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/coffeecat/32/3405_2.png) [@coffeecat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/coffeecat)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2007, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-anal-bleaching-for-you/419387/114 "2007-09-21T01:32:35Z")
No bleach for me, thanks, but after reading that article, I could go for relocating my genitals onto my head. After I did that, I’ll bet no one would dare disagree with me again. Actually, no one would dare speak to me after that. > [@akira5822](#): > > Are you going to come and clean coffee off my keyboard ??? Can you prove it’s coffee? ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2007, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-anal-bleaching-for-you/419387/115 "2007-09-21T02:11:48Z")
[QUOTE=Otto] That’s Doc Mercotan’s Anal Bleaching Emporium, where every tunnel ends with a light! [/QUOTE] “Put a light at the end of YOUR tunnel.” “Don’t be a sucker! Bleach your pucker!” “Now the sun shines THERE too!” “Make your hiney all nice and shiny!” “You can’t make it tighter, but as least it’s whiter.” ---
**Author:** ![Mtgman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2007, 9:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-anal-bleaching-for-you/419387/116 "2007-09-21T09:26:03Z")
[QUOTE=Green Bean] Well, if they ever decide to advertise anal bleaching on a large scale, I have a campaign all worked out. \*Scene: A swingers party or some such. Camera pans around the room. Everyone is naked. All sorts of couples and threesomes and more-somes are going at it. We can see that these people are of all shapes, sizes, and ages (at least by the standards of tv-land…but they’re not all perfect model-types) Camera stops on one woman, dejectedly sitting alone on a bench by a wall. She’s a knockout by any standard. But she’s obviously a wallflower. She looks out at all the people having fun. We hear her thoughts: “I don’t know why nobody wants to play with me. I used deodorant. I brushed my teeth. I’m freshly shaved. And I think I’m pretty enough! I wish I knew what the problem is!” The camera pulls away a bit, and we see a somewhat matronly older woman sit down next to the pretty young thing and look at her with knowing sympathy. The pretty young thing tearfully blurts out “Why am I so unpopular!?” The older woman says “It’s not you, dear. It’s your dingy old asshole.” The pretty young thing looks surprised and hopeful, and a hot young stud comes over and leads the older woman away. We hear the older woman giggling off screen and saying “oh, you want me to bend over…again??” Cut to screen with “DR. MERCOTAN’S ANAL BLEACHING CLINIC” with contact information, and voice-over saying “Could your sex life be a little more lively? Call Dr. Mercotan’s Anal Bleaching Clinic today!” \* [/QUOTE] With all the waiting room(and telephone hold) muzak played tastefully on [Qadgop’s musical, medical anoscope](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=415892). Enjoy, Steven ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2007, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-anal-bleaching-for-you/419387/117 "2007-09-21T16:46:20Z")
Heloise’s hints for the homemaker: If you attempt this procedure in the comfort of your own home, be sure to verify in advance, before you begin application of the bleach, that the post in the center of the washing machine will fit up your butt. ---
**Author:** ![Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troy_mcclure_sf/32/4150_2.png) [@Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troy_McClure_SF)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2007, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-anal-bleaching-for-you/419387/118 "2007-09-21T17:17:33Z")
[QUOTE=Madstylist] Anal bleaching? In the atypical American fashion of “take an idea, run with it, make it bigger and better, and beat it into the ground” I wonder if people are doing anal (or anal proximity) tattooing. [/QUOTE] “Is that… Jesus, Frank! Did you install a _Sarlacc Pit_ in your asshole?!” ---
**Author:** ![chowder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/977dab/32.png) [@chowder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chowder)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2007, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-anal-bleaching-for-you/419387/119 "2007-09-21T17:53:38Z")
[QUOTE=coffeecat] No bleach for me, thanks, but after reading that article, I could go for relocating my genitals onto my head. After I did that, I’ll bet no one would dare disagree with me again. Actually, no one would dare speak to me after that. Can you prove it’s coffee? [/QUOTE] You do realise that whenever someone calls out “Hey fuckface” it’s you they mean ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2007, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-anal-bleaching-for-you/419387/120 "2007-09-21T18:44:07Z")
If he relocated his anus, “shithead” would have a whole new meaning. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-anal-bleaching-for-you/419387.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-anal-bleaching-for-you/419387.md?page=7)