# Is any amount of physical contact ever appropriate in the workplace? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 7, 2019, 12:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-any-amount-of-physical-contact-ever-appropriate-in-the-workplace/833605 "2019-05-07T12:21:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2019, 12:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-any-amount-of-physical-contact-ever-appropriate-in-the-workplace/833605/1 "2019-05-07T12:21:51Z")
In GD, we are (yet again) debating [physical contact in the workplace.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=874974&page=7) Some people seem to believe that ANY intentional physical contact - no matter how minor - is inappropriate. Others seem to feel SOME DEGREE of physical contact is within the realm of acceptable human interaction. I was hoping to keep this simple, just to get a rough idea of how THIS group comes down on this issue. So I’ll as a simple yes/no question, asking whether ANY degree of intentional physical contact is ever appropriate in a standard workplace. At issue can be ANY physical contact: an all out hug, an ass grab, or a tap on someone’s shoulder or wrist to get their attention, or anything else along that continuum. If you think ANY (not necessarily all) such contact is normal and acceptable, vote YES. Just to be clear, if you say NO, then you are saying it is NEVER appropriate to tap a co-worker on the shoulder/arm to get their attention, express sympathy, etc. If you say YES, you are not necessarily approving of orgies in the breakroom. -I am NOT talking about inadvertent contact, such as accidently bumping into someone. -Nor am I looking for cute responses like, “What about porn actors?” -I’m not trying to argue about fine points. If you want to do that, the GD thread might be a better place. ---
**Author:** ![Slash1972](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slash1972/32/6461_2.png) [@Slash1972](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slash1972)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2019, 12:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-any-amount-of-physical-contact-ever-appropriate-in-the-workplace/833605/2 "2019-05-07T12:26:39Z")
I voted “Yes” because if a falling I-beam was about to hit a coworker, I would push them out of the way. Or if a coworker was about to walk into an empty elevator shaft, I would probably grab them to stop them. ---
**Author:** ![Defensive\_Indifference](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/defensive_indifference/32/6502_2.png) [@Defensive\_Indifference](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Defensive_Indifference)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2019, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-any-amount-of-physical-contact-ever-appropriate-in-the-workplace/833605/3 "2019-05-07T12:33:49Z")
I’m pretty touch-averse in the workplace. I doubt I’d tap someone on the shoulder to get their attention, unless it was a very noisy place and that was the only way to get their attention. But I voted Yes because I’m fine with handshakes and the occasional high-five. Maybe I’m OK with those because both parties have to agree to participate. It might be a little awkward, but if someone offers a handshake you can always ignore it. If someone walks up behind you and puts a hand on your back, you didn’t have a chance to consent. Not that I think a hand on the back is always bad, just that I don’t really like it. And I don’t want to run the risk of being misunderstood or making someone feel uncomfortable when I can just use my words (yes I have small children). If someone in the workplace touched me on the back or arm as a sign of encouragement or support or something, it wouldn’t bother me. A hug would be awkward for me though. I’m not really a hugger, except with my family. ETA: I’m a university professor. At graduation this weekend I shook hands with a bunch of my students. I didn’t hug any of them, but I guess if one had wanted a hug I would have. It’s a happy occasion! ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2019, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-any-amount-of-physical-contact-ever-appropriate-in-the-workplace/833605/4 "2019-05-07T12:42:24Z")
All or nothing is the best you could come up with? If someone votes yes, does this mean they think both tapping someone on their clothing-covered shoulder _and_ grabbing their ass are equally all right? Way to nuance. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Jasmine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jasmine/32/2964_2.png) [@Jasmine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jasmine)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2019, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-any-amount-of-physical-contact-ever-appropriate-in-the-workplace/833605/5 "2019-05-07T13:02:05Z")
Since you referenced “the other” thread on this topic, I’m simply going to copy/paste my last comment because I think it addresses this poll, which is based on the opinion of the “toucher” as opposed to the “touchee”. > [@](#): > > In the end, it comes down to this: It’s not about what is philosophically right or wrong, or the motivation behind the act, it’s about individuals having the right to define what is and what is not acceptable to them in terms of personal interaction. Everything else is irrelevant. > > “Jasmine, so sorry to interrupt, but we’re out of time.” Easy-peasy! Unless I’m deaf, why does someone have to make physical contact? > > Telling people that they are being unreasonable because the motivation behind the act was innocent and the act itself innocent is completely missing the point. The point is that every individual has a right to a defined personal space and a code of personal interaction. Virtually all the arguments defending the action as innocent and therefore okay are made irrelevant by that one basic right. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2019, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-any-amount-of-physical-contact-ever-appropriate-in-the-workplace/833605/6 "2019-05-07T13:19:54Z")
Depends on the location and the job. I’m in France; my coworkers would find it very strange if I refused to kiss-kiss. ---
**Author:** ![Jasmine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jasmine/32/2964_2.png) [@Jasmine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jasmine)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2019, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-any-amount-of-physical-contact-ever-appropriate-in-the-workplace/833605/7 "2019-05-07T13:23:55Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > Depends on the location and the job. I’m in France; my coworkers would find it very strange if I refused to kiss-kiss. Isn’t that almost like a handshake over there? ---
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2019, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-any-amount-of-physical-contact-ever-appropriate-in-the-workplace/833605/8 "2019-05-07T13:24:13Z")
> [@Slash1972](#): > > I voted “Yes” because if a falling I-beam was about to hit a coworker, I would push them out of the way. Or if a coworker was about to walk into an empty elevator shaft, I would probably grab them to stop them. And that is exactly the sort of ridiculous response I was hoping to avoid. But I’m sure you knew that. Thanks. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2019, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-any-amount-of-physical-contact-ever-appropriate-in-the-workplace/833605/9 "2019-05-07T13:24:54Z")
> [@](#): > > Telling people that they are being unreasonable because the motivation behind the act was innocent and the act itself innocent is completely missing the point. The point is that every individual has a right to a defined personal space and a code of personal interaction. Virtually all the arguments defending the action as innocent and therefore okay are made irrelevant by that one basic right. Everyone has the right, as long as it is reasonable. Phrasing it as an absolute is what misses the point IMO. Some things that people want to define their personal space and their code of personal interaction are not reasonable. You can’t, for instance, say “my cubicle is my personal space, so nobody is allowed to come into it” or “it makes me uncomfortable when you make eye contact with me, so nobody can look at me for more than five seconds without looking away” or “my culture doesn’t allow me to talk to women unless they have their faces covered”. Those aren’t reasonable. “Nobody can slap my ass without permission” is reasonable. And there is a difference, which most people can recognize. Touching a person, male or female or other, on the wrist, is different from sexual harassment and from assault. Most people can recognize that too. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2019, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-any-amount-of-physical-contact-ever-appropriate-in-the-workplace/833605/10 "2019-05-07T13:26:02Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > All or nothing is the best you could come up with? If someone votes yes, does this mean they think both tapping someone on their clothing-covered shoulder _and_ grabbing their ass are equally all right? > Way to nuance. :rolleyes: Of course not. But some folk in the other thread seem to equate a touch on the shoulder w/ an ass grab. ISTM, that all of the folk saying SOME contact is OK were also saying ass grabs were NOT. ---
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2019, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-any-amount-of-physical-contact-ever-appropriate-in-the-workplace/833605/11 "2019-05-07T13:28:16Z")
> [@Jasmine](#): > > Isn’t that almost like a handshake over there? Fuck - I meant to specify “other than a handshake” in my OP. Sorry - I’ll ask mods to close this thread. This effort is worse than useless. ---
**Author:** ![Eonwe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eonwe/32/240_2.png) [@Eonwe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eonwe)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2019, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-any-amount-of-physical-contact-ever-appropriate-in-the-workplace/833605/12 "2019-05-07T13:28:57Z")
Ditto **Jasmine**. The OP does a poor job of defining/understanding what “no touch in the workplace” means. The question ought to be: “Is any amount of physical contact without advance permission appropriate in the workspace, and is it ever appropriate for a coworker to even ask in the first place?”, to which I say “no” (hence my vote in the poll) and “rarely”, respectively. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2019, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-any-amount-of-physical-contact-ever-appropriate-in-the-workplace/833605/13 "2019-05-07T13:37:32Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > Depends on the location and the job. I’m in France; my coworkers would find it very strange if I refused to kiss-kiss. > [@Jasmine](#): > > Isn’t that almost like a handshake over there? > [@Dinsdale](#): > > Fuck - I meant to specify “other than a handshake” in my OP. Sorry - I’ll ask mods to close this thread. This effort is worse than useless. But that’s the thing: if my job involved, say, one or more male Orthodox jews, I wouldn’t try to even shake hands much less do _le baiser_. Even something which may at first sight seem universal and innocuous, such as salutations, changes by context. ---
**Author:** ![Oredigger77](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oredigger77/32/3181_2.png) [@Oredigger77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oredigger77)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2019, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-any-amount-of-physical-contact-ever-appropriate-in-the-workplace/833605/14 "2019-05-07T13:46:36Z")
Aside from shaking hands when I meet someone new I can’t think of a time I’ve touched or been touched by a coworker in a professional setting. I went with its not appropriate. Sure if there is an active shooter in the building and to tap my shoulder to silently point me to safety I’m down with that but in a normal day in the office it just doesn’t make sense. Maybe its because I’m an engineer and the vast majority of my coworkers are dudes we just don’t touch it always seems to be the few women who get tapped on the shoulder or steered by their waist. ---
**Author:** ![Slash1972](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slash1972/32/6461_2.png) [@Slash1972](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slash1972)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2019, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-any-amount-of-physical-contact-ever-appropriate-in-the-workplace/833605/15 "2019-05-07T13:51:32Z")
> [@Dinsdale](#): > > And that is exactly the sort of ridiculous response I was hoping to avoid. But I’m sure you knew that. Thanks. :rolleyes: Hey, you’re the one who made a poll that said ANY amount of physical contact. ---
**Author:** ![thorny\_locust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thorny_locust/32/431_2.png) [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2019, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-any-amount-of-physical-contact-ever-appropriate-in-the-workplace/833605/16 "2019-05-07T14:02:53Z")
> [@Dinsdale](#): > > Of course not. But some folk in the other thread seem to equate a touch on the shoulder w/ an ass grab. Nobody is doing that. And the poll, as phrased, is absurd. There is no way I can vote flat out yes or no on that statement as you gave it. You seem to be the one who’s trying to lump all touch into the same category. ---
**Author:** ![engineer\_comp\_geek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/engineer_comp_geek/32/504_2.png) [@engineer\_comp\_geek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/engineer_comp_geek)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2019, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-any-amount-of-physical-contact-ever-appropriate-in-the-workplace/833605/17 "2019-05-07T14:10:39Z")
**Moderator Action** > [@Dinsdale](#): > > Fuck - I meant to specify “other than a handshake” in my OP. Sorry - I’ll ask mods to close this thread. This effort is worse than useless. Closed at the OP’s request so that a more clearly worded poll can be created.