# Is anything \_NOT\_ the 'perfect christmas gift'? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 26, 2003, 6:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-anything-_not_-the-perfect-christmas-gift/215340 "2003-11-26T06:30:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2003, 6:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-anything-_not_-the-perfect-christmas-gift/215340/1 "2003-11-26T06:30:45Z")
EVERY SINGLE FUCKING THING IS BEING ADVERTISED AS ‘the perfect christmas gift’! Sorry. Move along, nothing to see here. ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2003, 6:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-anything-_not_-the-perfect-christmas-gift/215340/2 "2003-11-26T06:36:42Z")
You know, a copy of this thread would be the perfect gift for that hard-to-shop-for person on your list. ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2003, 6:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-anything-_not_-the-perfect-christmas-gift/215340/3 "2003-11-26T06:58:13Z")
I haven’t seen anybody advertising _ **Preperation H** _ as a Chrissy present yet. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2003, 7:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-anything-_not_-the-perfect-christmas-gift/215340/4 "2003-11-26T07:10:45Z")
A couple of quick Googles turn up a few items: [Pokemon is not the perfect Christmas gift](http://www.newsherald.com/archive/religion/ra121199.htm) [The Hydrogen Alarm Clock is not the perfect Christmas gift](http://www.halfbakery.com/idea/Hydrogen_20Alarm_20Clock) [_The Gift_ is not the perfect Christmas gift](http://wuk1.ciao.com/The_Gift__Review_5309984) ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2003, 7:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-anything-_not_-the-perfect-christmas-gift/215340/5 "2003-11-26T07:59:13Z")
Underpants. I hate getting underpants. Almost as much as I loathe socks. Which I loathe slightly more than the ill-fitting sweater one relative gets me on a yearly basis. And I don’t wear sweaters. Ever. ---
**Author:** ![Gamaliel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b487fb/32.png) [@Gamaliel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gamaliel)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2003, 8:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-anything-_not_-the-perfect-christmas-gift/215340/6 "2003-11-26T08:18:44Z")
Fruitcake. ---
**Author:** ![Nanoda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce73a5/32.png) [@Nanoda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nanoda)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2003, 11:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-anything-_not_-the-perfect-christmas-gift/215340/7 "2003-11-26T11:19:16Z")
Your outraged expletives make me realize I’ve been thinking this exact thing - specifically about this one [Hallmark](http://www.hallmark.com/) commercial I keep seeing .(click on “Gifts” or something if you really want to see it. Session IDs suck!). Its for this electonic singing snowman diorama. When I look at it, I feel sorry for my brother, 'cause he works at Safeway, and they’ll be stocking this crap _with batteries_ for the next two months. (And people push the buttons on those things more than you want to know). Anyhow - in the ad this lady buys one and gives it to this other couple, they push the button, and instead of jumping up and beating her with it in a murderous rage, they all _start laughing_. I mean… she practically gave them a whoopie cushion! To get any more tacky it’d have to be a singing bass! Whose idea of spreading holiday cheer is this!!! Ahem. He said keep moving! Stop staring! :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Erroneous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/71c47a/32.png) [@Erroneous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Erroneous)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2003, 11:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-anything-_not_-the-perfect-christmas-gift/215340/8 "2003-11-26T11:19:41Z")
I believe that a lemur, drowned in a vat of semen and urine, would make a poor Christmas present. ---
**Author:** ![Kiger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Kiger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kiger)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2003, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-anything-_not_-the-perfect-christmas-gift/215340/9 "2003-11-26T12:27:31Z")
Around here they are advertising Dunkin’ Donuts coffee as the perfect Christmas gift. Coffee. Yeah. ---
**Author:** ![Uvula\_Donor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e19adc/32.png) [@Uvula\_Donor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uvula_Donor)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2003, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-anything-_not_-the-perfect-christmas-gift/215340/10 "2003-11-26T13:18:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Nanoda \* > \*\*…this electonic singing snowman diorama… \*\* That _would_ make the perfect Christmas gift: I want to get one for my Sportsman’s Club, so we can set it up on the pistol range and _blow the living shit out of it._ The worst part about those goddamn things is that they’re gonna sell a million of 'em. ---
**Author:** ![Neidhart](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Neidhart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neidhart)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2003, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-anything-_not_-the-perfect-christmas-gift/215340/11 "2003-11-26T13:26:46Z")
A rib-eye steak with fuzzy green mold on it would not make a perfect Christmas gift. ---
**Author:** ![sirtonyh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ad7895/32.png) [@sirtonyh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sirtonyh)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2003, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-anything-_not_-the-perfect-christmas-gift/215340/12 "2003-11-26T13:46:39Z")
I believe buying the lady in your life an ironing board is unlikely to illicit a favorable response. ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Kumquat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4491bb/32.png) [@Gary\_Kumquat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Kumquat)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2003, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-anything-_not_-the-perfect-christmas-gift/215340/13 "2003-11-26T13:52:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by sirtonyh \* > \*\*I believe buying the lady in your life an ironing board is unlikely to illicit a favorable response. \*\* Damned right - I’d never be so tacky as to buy the missus the same thing for two years running. This year I thought an iron might be a winner? ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2003, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-anything-_not_-the-perfect-christmas-gift/215340/14 "2003-11-26T14:20:51Z")
I was in the Amtrak train station in Albany NY this weekend. At the little lunch counter they had a sign proclaiming this shop to be the actual ‘Holiday Headquarters’. So if you don’t get some sort of travel coffee mug or some T-Shirt that reads “Albany NY – Not so bad, when you think about it” then your gift did not come from the Holiday Headquarters. ---
**Author:** ![NotMrKnowItAll](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/6bbea6/32.png) [@NotMrKnowItAll](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NotMrKnowItAll)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2003, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-anything-_not_-the-perfect-christmas-gift/215340/15 "2003-11-26T14:35:31Z")
Any present with a Christmas motif is definitely not the perfect Christmas gift. You get it, maybe wear it that day, then put it away until next year. Unless you’re me, who ran out of undie-wear last July and wore flannel Santy-Clauses one day. ---
**Author:** ![flodnak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/838e76/32.png) [@flodnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flodnak)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2003, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-anything-_not_-the-perfect-christmas-gift/215340/16 "2003-11-26T14:40:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Uvula Donor \* > **That [electronic singing snowman diorama] _would_ make the perfect Christmas gift: I want to get one for my Sportsman’s Club, so we can set it up on the pistol range and _blow the living shit out of it._** Will this be on pay-per-view? You guys could make a fortune… ---
**Author:** ![Chastain86](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Chastain86](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chastain86)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2003, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-anything-_not_-the-perfect-christmas-gift/215340/17 "2003-11-26T14:44:34Z")
Giving a single man a gift certificate good for a threesome with Oprah Winfrey and a one-eyed, bitter sea captain is decidedly **NOT** a good Christmas present. Glad I regifted that one last year. ---
**Author:** ![cuauhtemoc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecb155/32.png) [@cuauhtemoc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cuauhtemoc)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2003, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-anything-_not_-the-perfect-christmas-gift/215340/18 "2003-11-26T14:46:24Z")
There are very few people for whom a steel-wool eyeball-brush would be the perfect Christmas gift. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2003, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-anything-_not_-the-perfect-christmas-gift/215340/19 "2003-11-26T14:47:07Z")
How about Adam Sandler’s “_8 Crazy Nights_”? Did one of the voice talents quit on him or something, because it is Truly Terrible. One of the characters voices is Adam talking in falsetto with his fingers up his nostrils. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad, except that 90% of the movie is his normal voiced character conversing with this other character. ---
**Author:** ![whiterabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/cab0a1/32.png) [@whiterabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whiterabbit)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2003, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-anything-_not_-the-perfect-christmas-gift/215340/20 "2003-11-26T14:47:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Kiger \* > \*\*Around here they are advertising Dunkin’ Donuts coffee as the perfect Christmas gift. Coffee. Yeah. \*\* I don’t know about their coffee, but I would never argue with somebody giving me nice coffee. Mmmm. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-anything-_not_-the-perfect-christmas-gift/215340.md?page=2)