# Is basketball turning into Calvinball? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 15, 2004, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-basketball-turning-into-calvinball/269314 "2004-10-15T03:35:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2004, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-basketball-turning-into-calvinball/269314/1 "2004-10-15T03:35:38Z")
“NBA ponders alterations to 3-point rules” [http://www.azcentral.com/arizonarepublic/sports/articles/10143point1014.html](http://www.azcentral.com/arizonarepublic/sports/articles/10143point1014.html) No 3-pointers until the last five minutes? What comes next, bonus points if you say the secret word of the day when going up for your dunk? Brick a shot and you have to play the next 3 minutes blindfolded? Pantsing? > [@](#): > > Banning the three-point shot until late in the game might lead to a more up-tempo style and higher shooting percentages because players would be encouraged to take shots closer to the basket. It also would stop players on fast breaks from pulling up for a shot from the three-point line instead of going for layups. Was this really a problem that was bogging down the flow of the game? Or is the NBA just compensating for an increasing number of hot-dogging showoffs who can’t shoot from more than three feet away? Hoping to boost revenues by turning the entire game into a Playstation promo? Hell, maybe they’re just preparing an excuse for getting their lunch eaten at the next Olympics. “B-b-but… they were _shooting_! From far away, even! How can we compete with that? That’s not what basketball’s about! Those guys aren’t even grounded in the basic fundamentals of behind-the-back dunking and music video production!” ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2004, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-basketball-turning-into-calvinball/269314/2 "2004-10-15T03:58:28Z")
Even though the three-point rule is a relatively recent innovation (1979 IIRC), this is just plain stupid. The game seriously does not to sped up even more and brought closer to the basket. If anything, I find far more elegance in a well executed 3-point shot than some friggin half-travelling drive into the basket dunk. Less dunks, more outside shots _please_. I may be in the minority, but this is why I just don’t watch NBA basketball anymore. It’s just not basketball. ---
**Author:** ![furt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/439d5e/32.png) [@furt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furt)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2004, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-basketball-turning-into-calvinball/269314/3 "2004-10-15T04:18:31Z")
Make three shots in a row and the ball gets set on fire. ---
**Author:** ![BraheSilver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecccb3/32.png) [@BraheSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BraheSilver)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2004, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-basketball-turning-into-calvinball/269314/4 "2004-10-15T04:55:35Z")
Then press L R L R A B X Y Select for a turbo boost! ---
**Author:** ![Keapon\_Laffin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e274bd/32.png) [@Keapon\_Laffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Keapon_Laffin)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2004, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-basketball-turning-into-calvinball/269314/5 "2004-10-15T04:56:19Z")
I vote for **PSYCH OUT!** during the free throws. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2004, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-basketball-turning-into-calvinball/269314/6 "2004-10-15T06:10:33Z")
I hope fan outcry will avert this embarrassment. Really, though, doesn’t the first line say it all? > [@](#): > > The NBA is considering a plan to abolish the three-point shot until the end of games to increase shooting percentages and make the sport more aesthetically pleasing. Translation: “Our guys can’t shoot, so we’ll try to stop them from even bothering.” If the NBA does that it might be a long time until the USA wins another basketball medal. ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2004, 7:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-basketball-turning-into-calvinball/269314/7 "2004-10-15T07:51:45Z")
> [@Keapon Laffin](#): > > I vote for **PSYCH OUT!** during the free throws. > 😛 Steeeeeeeeeeeve Perry! ---
**Author:** ![GrizzRich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7ba0ec/32.png) [@GrizzRich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrizzRich)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2004, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-basketball-turning-into-calvinball/269314/8 "2004-10-15T14:16:01Z")
How about… -five-pointers from half-court? -Touched the rim? two minute penalty. -teams start with a decifit in points equal to the number of tattoos sported by the starting lineup. -foul shots must be made underhand. -basket height raised to twenty feet. -players that miss layups when no opponent in in the paint must immediately complete a twenty pushup penalty right there on court -The rim is electrically charged every odd second. -shot clock reduced to twenty seconds. -The only shoes that can be worn on court are old-school Converse Chuck Taylor All Stars, high-top, black, with white laces. Certainly not all of these could be instituted. But it’d make for some enjoyable play if a few were made rules! ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2004, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-basketball-turning-into-calvinball/269314/9 "2004-10-15T14:52:49Z")
> [@Sublight](#): > > Hell, maybe they’re just preparing an excuse for getting their lunch eaten at the next Olympics. “B-b-but… they were shooting! From far away, even! How can we compete with that? That’s not what basketball’s about! Those guys aren’t even grounded in the basic fundamentals of behind-the-back dunking and music video production!” Hmm… perhaps, this is indeed a semi-deliberate move in the direction towards creating NBAball, an exclusively American form of Sports-Entertainment that nobody else plays, that has as much in common with Basketball as NFL Football does with Rugby; and international competition becomes irrelevant. ---
**Author:** ![zev\_steinhardt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/97f17d/32.png) [@zev\_steinhardt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zev_steinhardt)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2004, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-basketball-turning-into-calvinball/269314/10 "2004-10-15T14:59:31Z")
I always liked George Carlin’s suggestion: 25 points for any ball that goes into the basket off of another player’s head. 😃 Zev Steinhardt ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2004, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-basketball-turning-into-calvinball/269314/11 "2004-10-15T16:37:08Z")
> [@zev\_steinhardt](#): > > I always liked George Carlin’s suggestion: > > 25 points for any ball that goes into the basket off of another player’s head. Which would result in the establishment of minor league basketball full of Globetrotter teams. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Wartime\_Consigliori](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/9d8465/32.png) [@Wartime\_Consigliori](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wartime_Consigliori)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2004, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-basketball-turning-into-calvinball/269314/12 "2004-10-15T17:01:47Z")
Update from ESPN. > **[NBA: No changes to 3-point shot rules](https://www.espn.com/nba/news/story?id=1902007)** > > The NBA has no plans to change its rules for the 3-point shot, though it will proceed with an experiment for its developmental league in which all field goals will be worth two points until the final five minutes of regulation and overtime Looks like this change will only apply to the developmental league (NBDL). ---
**Author:** ![MacTech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2004, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-basketball-turning-into-calvinball/269314/13 "2004-10-15T17:06:26Z")
i’m not a team sports fan, but i think these ideas could liven up the game; moving hoops randomly electrically charged floor house lighting cuts out and strobe lighting turns on at random mascot fights ---
**Author:** ![Exgineer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@Exgineer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exgineer)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2004, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-basketball-turning-into-calvinball/269314/14 "2004-10-15T17:21:01Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > Translation: “Our guys can’t shoot, so we’ll try to stop them from even bothering.” If the NBA does that it might be a long time until the USA wins another basketball medal. Actually, they’re trying to force them to shoot. The problem with way things currently are is that every shot seems to be either a 3-pointer or a dunk. The rule change is supposed to encourage more 12 to 16 foot jumpers, but I’m not exactly sure how. NBA (and development) players need to learn how to shoot again, if only to spread defenses out a bit. The constant “drive to the hole and dunk” crap is starting to get old, but I’m not sure killing the three is the way to accomplish this. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2004, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-basketball-turning-into-calvinball/269314/15 "2004-10-15T18:42:45Z")
How about this? Keep the 3-pointer throught and reduce slam-dunks to one point each. ---
**Author:** ![joazito](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@joazito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joazito)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2004, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-basketball-turning-into-calvinball/269314/16 "2004-10-15T19:44:55Z")
An alley-up counts as 3 points! ---
**Author:** ![z\_z\_z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b2d939/32.png) [@z\_z\_z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/z_z_z)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2004, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-basketball-turning-into-calvinball/269314/17 "2004-10-15T21:02:46Z")
> [@Exgineer](#): > > \ > > The constant “drive to the hole and dunk” crap is starting to get old, but I’m not sure killing the three is the way to accomplish this. That´s true. The way to cut that down it to enforce the rules that are already in place. Almost every “drive to the hole and dunk” move is first a palming violation and then traveling, but nobody seems to care. Especially the palming thing drives me crazy. All guards do that (you can´t blame them, they do what they can get away with), but it´s such an obvious violation of the rules that it makes you wonder why they even have this rule. Most of the “ankle breaking” crossovers are ridiculous; they just put their hand under the ball and carry it with them. ---
**Author:** ![Fern\_Forest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/71c47a/32.png) [@Fern\_Forest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fern_Forest)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2004, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-basketball-turning-into-calvinball/269314/18 "2004-10-15T21:12:23Z")
Here’s one for the ladies. Every missed 3-point shot requires the played to remove an item of clothing. ---
**Author:** ![chukhung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e79b87/32.png) [@chukhung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chukhung)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2004, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-basketball-turning-into-calvinball/269314/19 "2004-10-16T01:47:12Z")
Put in a penalty box like hockey. 5 on 4 power-plays would be a lot more fun to watch than boring old free throws. ---
**Author:** ![Odinoneeye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/97f17d/32.png) [@Odinoneeye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odinoneeye)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2004, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-basketball-turning-into-calvinball/269314/20 "2004-10-16T02:20:01Z")
Each time is allowed to hire a sniper that hides somewhere in the audience and picks off members of the opposing team. The ball has a small bomb inside that will explode at some point during the game. Landmines. The hoop is filed down to a rozor sharp edge. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-basketball-turning-into-calvinball/269314.md?page=2)