# Is being a picky eater inherently bad? **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [March 8, 2010, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-being-a-picky-eater-inherently-bad/531728 "2010-03-08T15:44:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![salinqmind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@salinqmind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/salinqmind)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2010, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-being-a-picky-eater-inherently-bad/531728/161 "2010-03-14T15:26:25Z")
I’ve got an adventurous vegetarian in my house who will sometimes eat chicken or certain cold cuts, and sometimes not. I also have the picky eater meat and potatoes man who will eat burgers, fries, and Doritos every night of the week. It’s my job to bring in the food and prepare it. In some ways it makes life easier. I buy for the veggie a weeks worth of salad greens, fruits, vegetables, hummus, cottage cheese, pitas, bagels, English muffins, and various sliced cheese. (If she doesn’t cook something suitably veggy for herself, she’s free to pick and choose from what’s in the refrigerator.) …I buy for the picky one a weeks supply of hamburger, american cheese, ketchup, hamburg rolls, and fries. (I cook the burgers ahead of time and wrap and freeze. When he feels hungry, the fries cook in the oven while the burger heats up in the microwave, and that settles that.) I refuse to worry or plan or agonize about it any more, I buy the food they can force down and dish it out without a lot of fuss…Pizza, spaghetti, and breakfast food like sausage, bacon, eggs, and pancakes is acceptable to all of us, to break the monotony…Me? I eat anything. I often cook what _I_ want for myself. And I can always go to a cafe, fast food place, or Chinese buffet with a friend! No picky eaters are cajoled to come along and “try it” or search and search for something they can bear to swallow. ---
**Author:** ![SteveG1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2010, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-being-a-picky-eater-inherently-bad/531728/162 "2010-03-14T15:31:38Z")
> [@elmwood](#): > > Bump to post this again. > > I’ve never heard this answered: are foodies with rarefied tastes considered picky eaters by the SDMB “I’ll eat anything!” crowd? You know; the people who refuse to eat at chains and claim to projectile vomit at just the thought of Applebee’s or Olive Garden, the ones who insist that every ingredient is organic, free-range and fair-trade, the folks who view simple, traditional meals as “pedestrian”, and so on. > > Okay, so you’re frustrated by picky eaters who only find limited offerings appealing at your favorite obscure ethnic cuisine restaurant. What about the people you can’t take to a neighborhood diner or a P.F. Chang’s? I guess they can eat alone. That’s not being picky, that’s being a food snob. I have no time for that. “Pedestrian” food is delicious. “Traditional” food is delicious. If they want to pay too much money for an empty plate with a quarter gram sprig of parsley on a dime sized piece of fish, good for them. I like a “real” meal. ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2010, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-being-a-picky-eater-inherently-bad/531728/163 "2010-03-14T16:48:48Z")
> [@elmwood](#): > > I’ve never heard this answered: are foodies with rarefied tastes considered picky eaters by the SDMB “I’ll eat anything!” crowd? You know; the people who refuse to eat at chains and claim to projectile vomit at just the thought of Applebee’s or Olive Garden, the ones who insist that every ingredient is organic, free-range and fair-trade, the folks who view simple, traditional meals as “pedestrian”, and so on. > > Okay, so you’re frustrated by picky eaters who only find limited offerings appealing at your favorite obscure ethnic cuisine restaurant. What about the people you can’t take to a neighborhood diner or a P.F. Chang’s? Yeah, I think they count as picky eaters. If what you will willingly eat excludes the vast majority of popular, widespread foods and restaurants, that’s every bit as picky as anything else described here. Refusing to go to 90% of the restaurants in town or talking about how the mere thought of the place makes you want to puke is being _at least_ as big a pain the ass as refusing to go to a handful of restaurants because they don’t serve chicken fingers or talking about how the taste of fish makes you want to puke. In a lot of ways, I find food snobs far more frustrating than the people we traditionally consider picky eaters, because they’re far more likely to weigh in on what I’m going to eat, and I quite frankly am not interested in their opinions. Picky eaters are far too focused on their own food to give a shit whether I put real butter or margarine on my baked potato, or how much better I would like my vegetables if I cooked them the way _they_ like them cooked. And picky eaters never, ever want to put the handful of things I hate in a dish. ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2010, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-being-a-picky-eater-inherently-bad/531728/164 "2010-03-14T17:05:35Z")
> [@starwarsfreek42](#): > > I’m late to this thread, but I do have a question I’d like answered as well. I am incredibly picky. It’s easier to list the things I will eat than the things I won’t. Every week I go to the grocery store and buy the same things. I try new things maybe once a year, and usually I don’t like them. (This year it was quiche, and I did like it, incidentally.) Anyway, if I go to a restaurant with friends and there isn’t anything on the menu I will eat, I order some bread and a drink, and I am fine with that. No problem. So why do people feel the need to INSIST that I eat something, that I MUST try something, that I can’t POSSIBLY leave without eating? Why does it bother them for me to sit and eat a roll and drink some Sprite? I don’t complain about the food, I don’t whine, I don’t force us all to go to another restaurant. There’s no drama from my side, but other people want to create some for me. If I’m not making a big deal out of how picky I am, why should they? I’d really like to know. Anybody? I have no answer for you other than to commiserate. I’m not picky, but my wife is–extremely. But she never makes a big deal about it. She never vetoes restaurants or anything like that. She simply orders the plainest food on the menu and she’s perfectly happy with that. She _genuinely likes_, for example, a bowl of plain rice. But if she orders this, the people we are with invariably decide to make her the center of attention (absolutely the last place she wants to be when it comes to discussions about food) and try to cajole her into ordering something else. Then there gets to be this huge discussion about her tastes, and it just becomes far more of a big deal than it needs to be. Just let people eat what they eat! ---
**Author:** ![Snert](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Snert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snert)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2010, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-being-a-picky-eater-inherently-bad/531728/165 "2010-03-14T18:39:09Z")
I am a picky eater. I won’t eat what I don’t like. If I’m invited to a meal with friends they know abut my pickiness and deal with it. Don’t offer me shrimp or crab. Thank you, but no thanks. I don’t see this as a problem. I’m being picky and if you don’t like it, tough, don’t invite me for supper. As I said, my friends know, so they don’t serve me crustrations. I will eat all the steamed aspargus, broccoli and cauliflour I can get. Fry me some meat and make a sannich with pill dickles, mayo and some Chinese mustard and I might fall in love. I’m an omnivouir, but I’m a picky omnivouir. ---
**Author:** ![CandidGamera](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/candidgamera/32/2878_2.png) [@CandidGamera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CandidGamera)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2010, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-being-a-picky-eater-inherently-bad/531728/166 "2010-03-15T14:06:43Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > Well, it’s like the guy whose only reading is confined to one magazine. Or the lady who has never left her hometown and sees no reason not to. Or the girl who likes one movie and only one movies and plays it over and over again. > > To me, it just seems sad. There is such a big beautiful world out there, and its a shame to miss out on so much of it. :rolleyes: Great, a foodie fundamentalist ready to pity the unenlightened. _That’s_ useful. Your analogies are flawed and irrelevant. I am not better than John Doe because I’ve seen more movies than John Doe. My life experience isn’t richer. He’s just focused on things other than movies. Incuriosity may be a bad thing in the most general sense - if you are incurious about everything. But incuriosity on any specific topic is no vice. It’s like a linguist who speaks a dozen languages pitying the people who speak two or fewer, because of all the richness they’ll miss out on - but not realizing that for other people, things are valued differently and have found other sources of richness. It’s an ego affirmation bias - whatever \*\*you \*\*like is **important**. ---
**Author:** ![Ravenman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ravenman/32/2929_2.png) [@Ravenman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ravenman)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2010, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-being-a-picky-eater-inherently-bad/531728/167 "2010-03-15T14:24:08Z")
> [@elmwood](#): > > Bump to post this again. > > I’ve never heard this answered: are foodies with rarefied tastes considered picky eaters by the SDMB “I’ll eat anything!” crowd? You know; the people who refuse to eat at chains and claim to projectile vomit at just the thought of Applebee’s or Olive Garden, the ones who insist that every ingredient is organic, free-range and fair-trade, the folks who view simple, traditional meals as “pedestrian”, and so on. > > Okay, so you’re frustrated by picky eaters who only find limited offerings appealing at your favorite obscure ethnic cuisine restaurant. What about the people you can’t take to a neighborhood diner or a P.F. Chang’s? Yeah, I’d call them snobs and say they are very difficult to deal with… except that I’ve never actually met anyone who literally would not eat at a casual dining restaurant. Let me be clear: I probably tend toward membership this group, as would a lot of people I know, in that we generally think much of the casual dining menu is overdone, what with huge portion sizes, excessive fat, and general uncreativity. Me and my ilk would virtually always prefer to get a $10 falafel from some hole-in-the-wall rather than a $10 cheeseburger from Chilis. That being said, we end up eating at fast food or casual dining restaurants now and then, and I suppose the general feeling is more, “It’s just not-great food, it isn’t going to kill me, we’ll crack a few jokes about needing our blood strained from all the cholesterol and needing a long workout,” then we’ll immediately get on with our lives. And I’ll add that I’m sometimes very pleased with the meals at these places. I think Outback does quite an appetizing steak, especially for the price, and I had some tilapia thing at a PF Changs (I’ve only been there once) that was very good. ETA: and on the other side of the ledger, I’ve only been to Olive Garden a couple times, but the stuff I had was terrible. I just think it’s a bad restaurant. ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2010, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-being-a-picky-eater-inherently-bad/531728/168 "2010-03-15T14:55:24Z")
> [@Martini\_Enfield](#): > > I didn’t say “Everyone must love seafood!” But, in Australia & New Zealand, seafood is a popular and widely consumed food (There are Fish & Chip shops everywhere for a reason) and anyone saying “I don’t like seafood” for non-religious (maybe) or health reasons would run a very high chance of more or less be labelled a picky eater because of that. It’d almost be like saying “I don’t drink water”. I thought you Aussies drank beer or wine, not water. 😉 > [@elmwood](#): > > You know; the people who refuse to eat at chains and claim to projectile vomit at just the thought of Applebee’s or Olive Garden As most of us learned around age five, vomit is not a suitable topic of conversation for mealtimes. That’s a separate etiquette issue from picky eating. Of course, you should never pressure someone to eat something to the point where they feel they have to tell you they might vomit if they did. “I can’t eat that” should be sufficient. People who do have physical reactions to eating certain types of food should refrain from describing those reactions during mealtimes. > [@Frylock](#): > > She simply orders the plainest food on the menu and she’s perfectly happy with that. She genuinely likes, for example, a bowl of plain rice. But if she orders this, the people we are with invariably decide to make her the center of attention (absolutely the last place she wants to be when it comes to discussions about food) and try to cajole her into ordering something else. Then there gets to be this huge discussion about her tastes, and it just becomes far more of a big deal than it needs to be. What someone is or is not eating is another topic that is not suitable for conversation. It’s rude to try to draw attention to what you are or aren’t eating, and it’s rude to call attention to what someone else is or isn’t eating. Always. Period. As some of us learned by about age eight or so, it is always impolite to say anything about what anyone else is eating, unless it is “That looks good” or something similarly inoffensive. It’s not OK to talk about how that food would affect you physically. It’s not OK to say how gross that food looks. It’s not OK to say how bad that food is for you. Sounds like some people never learned some very basic table manners. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2010, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-being-a-picky-eater-inherently-bad/531728/169 "2010-03-15T15:13:06Z")
I’ve never heard any of those rules. I don’t accept that their are any such rules. Who decided on those rules? Picky eaters are immature and childish pains in the ass who need to spend some time in third world countries and learn what fucking babies they really are. ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2010, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-being-a-picky-eater-inherently-bad/531728/170 "2010-03-15T15:20:11Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > I’ve never heard any of those rules. I don’t accept that their are any such rules. Who decided on those rules? If you’re talking about the rules in **Anne Neville** ’s post, I can assure you that in my household there certainly are such rules, and as for who decided them: I did. And I am in charge, in this house. Just ask my kids. > [@](#): > > Picky eaters are immature and childish pains in the ass who need to spend some time in third world countries and learn what fucking babies they really are. Agreed. ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2010, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-being-a-picky-eater-inherently-bad/531728/171 "2010-03-15T15:35:17Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > I’ve never heard any of those rules. I don’t accept that their are any such rules. Who decided on those rules? You really think it’s acceptable behavior to talk about vomit at the table? Or to call attention to what other people are or aren’t eating? Or to say that something someone else is eating looks disgusting? You must have grown up learning very different manners than I did. ---
**Author:** ![EvilHamsterOnCrack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/3ab097/32.png) [@EvilHamsterOnCrack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilHamsterOnCrack)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2010, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-being-a-picky-eater-inherently-bad/531728/172 "2010-03-15T15:35:49Z")
I am a picky eater. Maybe that makes me immature and childish, but there are a boatload of foods that I can try to eat and makes me want to vomit all over the place. I just can’t continue to eat them. I’m one of those picky eaters mentioned here that knows what they like at every type of restaurant (except for seafood, I can’t eat seafood, same gut reaction, but most seafood places have non-seafood dishes), and I just order that. I like trying things, but I don’t like most things I try and can barely stomach them. Yes, the foods I do like are generally the more “children’s menu”, “junk food” type foods. I wish it weren’t so, but it is. How can I get to like all these foods I don’t right now? All you people that are talking shit about picky eaters… what can I do to stop being a picky eater? I can’t change how my taste buds react to things. I hate being a picky eater. I hate going to dinner at someone’s house and barely eating. They always turn it into drama. I try to be polite, try everything and eat a little bit, but I just won’t eat the food if I don’t like it. I can’t stomach it. I hate being a pain, but it is what it is. ---
**Author:** ![Algorithm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/algorithm/32/12204_2.png) [@Algorithm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Algorithm)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2010, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-being-a-picky-eater-inherently-bad/531728/173 "2010-03-15T15:41:38Z")
Being a picky eater isn’t bad, it’s when someone constantly makes their pickiness a problem for me that it’s bad. Or when someone (like person B, below) can’t see how their ruleset of culinary preferences applies to new foods they haven’t tried. Two of my college roommates were very picky eaters: Former roommate A eats a slimmer variety of food than anyone I’ve met, but never shies away from unknown/new restaurants because he’s not sure he’ll find something he likes there. Former roommate B eats a similarly slim, though possibly slightly wider variety of food than A, but stresses out over being able to find something he likes to eat at Wendy’s. This is someone who eats at Jack in the Box regularly. You really couldn’t give A any crap about his preferences or habits. He doesn’t make them a problem for other people. However, don’t even think about taking B to that new restaurant you wanted to check out - he’s going to whine about it on the way there and whine while he’s looking at the menu that he can’t find anything he’ll like. ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2010, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-being-a-picky-eater-inherently-bad/531728/174 "2010-03-15T15:48:09Z")
> [@EvilHamsterOnCrack](#): > > How can I get to like all these foods I don’t right now? All you people that are talking shit about picky eaters… what can I do to stop being a picky eater? I can’t change how my taste buds react to things. I hate being a picky eater. I hate going to dinner at someone’s house and barely eating. They always turn it into drama. I try to be polite, try everything and eat a little bit, but I just won’t eat the food if I don’t like it. I can’t stomach it. I hate being a pain, but it is what it is. If you can’t, you could do what I do. I keep kosher, and I am not willing to eat non-kosher food. Before I go to dinner at somebody’s house, I make sure they know what my food restrictions are. (Do this one-on-one, not in a public setting) That way, they know far enough ahead of time to make something I can eat, if they want to do that. If they can’t or won’t accommodate my food restrictions, I decline the invitation. I try to find ways to socialize with those people that don’t involve meals, or maybe that involve going to a restaurant where they and I can order our separate things. ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2010, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-being-a-picky-eater-inherently-bad/531728/175 "2010-03-15T15:50:41Z")
I have to admit that, as someone who has hosted dinner parties in the past, I’m much more amenable to people telling me, “I keep kosher” or “I’m vegetarian” or “I’m allergic to corn” (all things I have actually dealt with from guests) than I would be to, “I really don’t like seafood or fruit or pork or chicken with skin that is too crispy or raw vegetables or anything that has mayonnaise or whole-wheat bread, so could you avoid those things, please?” Not that anyone has ever made such a request, of course. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2010, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-being-a-picky-eater-inherently-bad/531728/176 "2010-03-15T15:54:04Z")
> [@Anne\_Neville](#): > > You really think it’s acceptable behavior to talk about vomit at the table? Or to call attention to what other people are or aren’t eating? Or to say that something someone else is eating looks disgusting? > > You must have grown up learning very different manners than I did. Vomit, no, everything else, yes. My father is Italian. Family dinners were all about everybody yelling and insulting everybody else. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2010, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-being-a-picky-eater-inherently-bad/531728/177 "2010-03-15T16:27:27Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > Vomit, no, everything else, yes. My father is Italian. Family dinners were all about everybody yelling and insulting everybody else. 🙂 But you wouldn’t keep at it if it was clear that it really was making someone uncomfortable, right? You try to make other people comfortable, that’s the basic law of etiquette. You were all used to it and comfortable with it, so it’s fine in that circle. But I’m sure you had company manners for dealing with people who were not used to that sort of thing. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2010, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-being-a-picky-eater-inherently-bad/531728/178 "2010-03-15T16:34:47Z")
> [@Anne\_Neville](#): > > But you wouldn’t keep at it if it was clear that it really was making someone uncomfortable, right? You try to make other people comfortable, that’s the basic law of etiquette. > > You were all used to it and comfortable with it, so it’s fine in that circle. But I’m sure you had company manners for dealing with people who were not used to that sort of thing. No, not really. Insulting people’s culinary choices was normal. “You really eat that shit? Are you insane?” was a typical conversation starter. I don’t think it made anybody uncomfortable, they would just swear back. It was also extremely normal to try to get somebody to eat stuff they didn’t want to eat. Kids didn’t even have a choice about it. We had to finish our plates, no matter what was on them, before we were allowed to leave the table. ---
**Author:** ![Hazle\_Weatherfield](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Hazle\_Weatherfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hazle_Weatherfield)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2010, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-being-a-picky-eater-inherently-bad/531728/179 "2010-03-15T18:32:36Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > No, not really. Insulting people’s culinary choices was normal. “You really eat that shit? Are you insane?” was a typical conversation starter. I don’t think it made anybody uncomfortable, they would just swear back. It was also extremely normal to try to get somebody to eat stuff they didn’t want to eat. Kids didn’t even have a choice about it. We had to finish our plates, no matter what was on them, before we were allowed to leave the table. Really? If you were out with friends (non-relatives, at least,) you would actually make a rude comment about what they were eating? That’s what A. Neville was asking. I get acting that way around your family, but would you really impose that on others? ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2010, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-being-a-picky-eater-inherently-bad/531728/180 "2010-03-15T18:45:54Z")
I disagree that it’s rude. It’s just table conversation. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-being-a-picky-eater-inherently-bad/531728.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-being-a-picky-eater-inherently-bad/531728.md?page=10)