# Is being chronically, habitually late an act of aggression? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 6, 2009, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-being-chronically-habitually-late-an-act-of-aggression/509088 "2009-09-06T20:32:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2009, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-being-chronically-habitually-late-an-act-of-aggression/509088/121 "2009-09-17T14:40:05Z")
> [@Ruby](#): > > In the same vein, I totally don’t understand those of you who get angry because I’m not “on time”. Don’t hold dinner for me. Don’t change your plans. I’ll be along shortly and will make do. This is fine, in situations where I don’t have to wait and it doesn’t impact my plans. My wife and I are members of a gourmet club. We have been getting together to cook dinner for each other for the better part of twenty-five years. There was a couple that we essentially had to kick out of the group, because we couldn’t handle them. The straw - okay, the big honking bale of hay - that broke the camel’s back was the time we were partnered with them to make dinner for the five other couples in the group. We called them beforehand to set the menu. We agreed that my wife and I would do the appetizer, salad, and dessert. They would do the entree and bread. The dinner was at their house. The invitations said guests should arrive at 6:00pm, and dinner is served at 7:00pm. We showed up around 5:00, with everything packed and ready to be reheated as necessary. I asked what the entree was going to be. _They said they hadn’t decided yet._ They hadn’t bought anything, and they asked us for suggestions. We wound up eating stuffed mushrooms, strawberry-spinach salad vinaigrette, _creme caramel_, and cheeseburgers. They were offended when we told them that nobody wanted to partner with them the next time. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2009, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-being-chronically-habitually-late-an-act-of-aggression/509088/122 "2009-09-17T15:59:20Z")
> [@Ruby](#): > > Since this thread started, I’ve read all of the “reasons” for being late and none of them are very logical. For me, it’s not a conscious decision to be an asshole but rather years of bad behavior. My parents were v.e.r.y. punctual and I think my lateness started as a rebellion of sorts. I’ve watched this week and I do take cues from those around me as to when it’s time to get ready. Inevitably, they are watching for me to get started and consequently no one is ready on time. :smack: > > So, I’m turning 50 in a few weeks and it’s time to turn over a new leaf. See? You really can teach old dogs new tricks. 🙂 You’re being utterly reasonable and gracious. That’s not how we roll at the SDMB. We argue with people, adopt a position, fossilize it, and refuse to be pried out of it! We are frequently persuasive, but never persuaded! Remember: SDMB love means never having to say, “I’ve thought about it and you’re right and I’m wrong.” 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Ruby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/13edae/32.png) [@Ruby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruby)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-being-chronically-habitually-late-an-act-of-aggression/509088/123 "2009-09-18T03:01:13Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > This is fine, in situations where I don’t have to wait and it doesn’t impact my plans. \ Which is what I meant when I said I didn’t understand all of the ire from the OnTimeClub when I’m running late. I would be totally pissed in your situation > [@Jodi](#): > > You’re being utterly reasonable and gracious. That’s not how we roll at the SDMB. We argue with people, adopt a position, fossilize it, and refuse to be pried out of it! We are frequently persuasive, but never persuaded! Remember: SDMB love means never having to say, “I’ve thought about it and you’re right and I’m wrong.” 😉 Damn, does that mean I have to turn in my coffee mug? Frankly, I’ve become attached to the squid. \ I don’t think I can leave now. \ My name is Ruby and I’m addicted to the Dope. OK, I’ve re-evaluated my position and I WON’T change, I WON’T be reasonable, I WON’T be considerate of others! Can I come back now? ---
**Author:** ![Labrador\_Deceiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7c8e57/32.png) [@Labrador\_Deceiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labrador_Deceiver)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-being-chronically-habitually-late-an-act-of-aggression/509088/124 "2009-09-18T14:27:24Z")
I’ve got as severe a case of ADHD as anyone on the planet. Really bad. I lose track of time, get lost in certain tasks, easily distracted from others, and often have no concept of time. On top of it, my organization skills are total shit. I mean, miserable. I’m never late. Ever. If I am, then something really damn bad has happened, or the time to meet wasn’t really set in stone to begin with. Even in the latter cases, I’m still usually the first one there. I use my phone timer and/or alarm sometimes, but usually I just get ready extraordinarily early. I keep a book in the car at all times, and my new iPhone comes in very handy also. Being on time is extremely important to me, and I treat just about every engagement as if it were a plane about to depart. ---
**Author:** ![honestlady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/5fc32e/32.png) [@honestlady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/honestlady)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2014, 7:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-being-chronically-habitually-late-an-act-of-aggression/509088/125 "2014-02-04T07:28:00Z")
Waiting for people makes me feel very stressed. I tell people who are habitually late about this and if it changes nothing I drop them from my life if it is possible. To me they are passive aggressives and passive narcissists…I prefer friends who are thoughtful and considerate. Habitually late people are lacking basic decent behavior… ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2014, 7:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-being-chronically-habitually-late-an-act-of-aggression/509088/126 "2014-02-04T07:56:21Z")
> [@honestlady](#): > > Waiting for people makes me feel very stressed. I tell people who are habitually late about this and if it changes nothing I drop them from my life if it is possible. To me they are passive aggressives and passive narcissists…I prefer friends who are thoughtful and considerate. Habitually late people are lacking basic decent behavior… Good thing you weren’t posting late to this thread or anything, then! Otherwise, one might think you are a wee bit hypocritical. ---
**Author:** ![honestlady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/5fc32e/32.png) [@honestlady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/honestlady)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2014, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-being-chronically-habitually-late-an-act-of-aggression/509088/127 "2014-02-04T12:42:23Z")
Just venting [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-being-chronically-habitually-late-an-act-of-aggression/509088.md?page=6)