# Is bouncing in a gay nightclub or strip club the same as bouncing in hetero club? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [July 7, 2008, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-bouncing-in-a-gay-nightclub-or-strip-club-the-same-as-bouncing-in-hetero-club/455509 "2008-07-07T01:54:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Mesquite-oh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a183cd/32.png) [@Mesquite-oh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mesquite-oh)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2008, 6:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-bouncing-in-a-gay-nightclub-or-strip-club-the-same-as-bouncing-in-hetero-club/455509/21 "2008-07-08T06:36:24Z")
The management at the straight friendly gay dance club I used to go to in the late 80’s were really careful at what went on in the club due to what they felt was unfair police harrassment. For the most part, people were self regulating and a good time was had by all, but the bouncers scrutinized ID’s like they were the FBI, guys showing a too much skin or getting too freaky were told to settle down, anyone looking like they were doing drugs were approached etc- they were like Senior Prom chaperones. Of course, all sorts of crazy things were going on out of sight, but outwardly they didn’t want the cops have anything so that they would shut down the lights and music. ---
**Author:** ![Illuminatiprimus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/illuminatiprimus/32/11520_2.png) [@Illuminatiprimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Illuminatiprimus)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2008, 8:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-bouncing-in-a-gay-nightclub-or-strip-club-the-same-as-bouncing-in-hetero-club/455509/22 "2008-07-08T08:49:10Z")
[QUOTE=astro] IIRC from the “Kids in the Hall” gay culture skits boinking a nominally straight guy is the Mt. Everest of hotness for gay men on the prowl. [/QUOTE] Which I don’t really understand. My experience of sex with “straight” men is that it’s pretty crap, they’re a mess of inhibitions. ---
**Author:** ![Odesio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/odesio/32/20003_2.png) [@Odesio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odesio)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2008, 12:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-bouncing-in-a-gay-nightclub-or-strip-club-the-same-as-bouncing-in-hetero-club/455509/23 "2008-07-08T12:05:30Z")
[QUOTE=Illuminatiprimus] Which I don’t really understand. My experience of sex with “straight” men is that it’s pretty crap, they’re a mess of inhibitions. [/QUOTE] There’s a difference between fantasy and reality. In fantasy I would love to have a threesome with two women but the mechanics of the act along with the emotional baggage might not be all it’s cracked up to be. Marc ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2008, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-bouncing-in-a-gay-nightclub-or-strip-club-the-same-as-bouncing-in-hetero-club/455509/24 "2008-07-08T16:03:13Z")
The bouncing is not quite the same in a gay strip club. The bouncing occurs somewhat lower on the body then it does in the hetero club. ---
**Author:** ![Giles](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giles/32/60_2.png) [@Giles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giles)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2008, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-bouncing-in-a-gay-nightclub-or-strip-club-the-same-as-bouncing-in-hetero-club/455509/25 "2008-07-08T16:11:50Z")
[QUOTE=Illuminatiprimus] Which I don’t really understand. My experience of sex with “straight” men is that it’s pretty crap, they’re a mess of inhibitions. [/QUOTE] It’s probably for much the same reason that many straight guys like virgins or very inexperienced girls: not that the sex is going to be better, but from the achievement of the conquest. ---
**Author:** ![drachillix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/48db29/32.png) [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2008, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-bouncing-in-a-gay-nightclub-or-strip-club-the-same-as-bouncing-in-hetero-club/455509/26 "2008-07-08T16:51:13Z")
[QUOTE=Patty O’Furniture] DC Police were either on site or very close by and could be summoned in the event that somebody needed to be tossed out on their ear. So I think the rule was: if the uncooperative patron won’t leave on his own, let the police do their job. [/QUOTE] This is a good way to get shut down IME here, you control your club, if you require contant police intervention you will get shut down. Having troblemakers cuffed and ready for PD is one thing, if PD has to intervene regularly you have big problems. ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2008, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-bouncing-in-a-gay-nightclub-or-strip-club-the-same-as-bouncing-in-hetero-club/455509/27 "2008-07-08T17:02:42Z")
I’d think that the majority of fights that a bouncer at a gay club would get into would be involving straight guys coming in to make trouble, ie try to start fights and using epithets. ---
**Author:** ![ouryL](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ouryl/32/6067_2.png) [@ouryL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ouryL)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2008, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-bouncing-in-a-gay-nightclub-or-strip-club-the-same-as-bouncing-in-hetero-club/455509/28 "2008-07-09T20:05:25Z")
[QUOTE=Illuminatiprimus] In all my years of going to gay clubs I’ve only ever witnessed two fights, and both of those were started by straight men. In my experience gay men don’t get violent when tanked up, just witness events like gay pride/mardi gras where there are thousands of people, free flowing booze and virtually no police incidents (compare that to your average football match). Obviously gay clubs have security staff but they’re fairly unobtrusive, most of the time they’re more on the lookout for people dealing drugs/people getting out of control due to drugs. [/QUOTE] Evidently, you haven’t witness two over six-foot tall Samoan tranvestites get into a knockdown drag out fight before. :dubious: The skinny bouncer was remarkably fleet of foot and was able to break them apart sans his aloha shirt. ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2008, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-bouncing-in-a-gay-nightclub-or-strip-club-the-same-as-bouncing-in-hetero-club/455509/29 "2008-07-09T20:14:28Z")
[QUOTE=ouryL] Evidently, you haven’t witness two over six-foot tall Samoan tranvestites get into a knockdown drag out fight before. [/QUOTE] No, but it’s on my list of things I must see before I die. ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2008, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-bouncing-in-a-gay-nightclub-or-strip-club-the-same-as-bouncing-in-hetero-club/455509/30 "2008-07-09T20:28:11Z")
[QUOTE=Patty O’Furniture] I remember one of the superclubs in DC called Tracks\ [/QUOTE] I used to go there, and it was a very mixed club. There was a sign on the door reminding people it was a very gay-friendly place so chill out about it, but straight girls do drag their straight homophobic boyfriends in sometimes and after a few drinks, some of those straight guys just can’t handle getting flirted with by another guy. I used to hang out at a gay bar in Sacramento that had a large lesbian crowd and they always had lesbian fights. I don’t know why, but lesbians can get very testosteroney. ---
**Author:** ![Snarky\_Kong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a183cd/32.png) [@Snarky\_Kong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snarky_Kong)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2008, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-bouncing-in-a-gay-nightclub-or-strip-club-the-same-as-bouncing-in-hetero-club/455509/31 "2008-07-09T20:52:05Z")
[QUOTE=levdrakon] I don’t know why, but lesbians can get very testosteroney. [/QUOTE] The San Francisco treat? ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2008, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-bouncing-in-a-gay-nightclub-or-strip-club-the-same-as-bouncing-in-hetero-club/455509/32 "2008-07-09T21:01:57Z")
[QUOTE=jayjay] Didn’t you know lesbians only do girls because they know men think it’s hot? [/QUOTE] We do now. 😃 Is it fair or not fair to say that there is an entirely different politic…vibe…what have you, in gay bars in terms of aggression, looking for a fight, etc? ETA: In **Snarky Kong** , we have a winnah ! Cartooniverse ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2008, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-bouncing-in-a-gay-nightclub-or-strip-club-the-same-as-bouncing-in-hetero-club/455509/33 "2008-07-09T21:04:37Z")
[QUOTE=Cartooniverse] We do now. 😃 Is it fair or not fair to say that there is an entirely different politic…vibe…what have you, in gay bars in terms of aggression, looking for a fight, etc? Cartooniverse [/QUOTE] I’ve only been in a couple of straight bars so it’s hard for me to compare. But I’ve been in many many gay bars, many many times and would say the number of times that I thought there might be a fight were maybe a dozen or so. The actual fights…probably three. But they all occured outside the bar. ---
**Author:** ![Illuminatiprimus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/illuminatiprimus/32/11520_2.png) [@Illuminatiprimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Illuminatiprimus)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2008, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-bouncing-in-a-gay-nightclub-or-strip-club-the-same-as-bouncing-in-hetero-club/455509/34 "2008-07-09T21:28:29Z")
[QUOTE=Antinor01] I’ve only been in a couple of straight bars so it’s hard for me to compare. But I’ve been in many many gay bars, many many times and would say the number of times that I thought there might be a fight were maybe a dozen or so. The actual fights…probably three. But they all occured outside the bar. [/QUOTE] I’ve been to plenty of straight bars/clubs and can say that aggression and the potential for violence is much higher there than in gay clubs. ---
**Author:** ![Sleel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/73ab20/32.png) [@Sleel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleel)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2008, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-bouncing-in-a-gay-nightclub-or-strip-club-the-same-as-bouncing-in-hetero-club/455509/35 "2008-07-11T03:24:19Z")
A biology teacher I had in high school referred to stress response (usually called fight–or–flight) as the three Fs: Fight, Flight, or…being very friendly. That could be why there aren’t many anecdotes about gay bar brawls. Fucking is usually more fun than fighting. Besides, it’s not like gay culture puts a high value on macho behavior, and clashing egos are usually what cause fights in straight crowds. I’ve got next to no first-hand experience with large groups of lesbians, but you’d expect there to be more problems than with a group of hetero women or gay men just because of the cultural push to act butch. ETA: a bi friend who was a male stripper said that women get way more scandalous, pushy, and sometimes just plain mean than an equivalent crowd of men at a straight strip club. In his experience, the women were allowed a lot more leeway, and took advantage of it, whereas a man who acted up in a titty bar would be ejected almost immediately for the same behavior. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-bouncing-in-a-gay-nightclub-or-strip-club-the-same-as-bouncing-in-hetero-club/455509.md?page=1)