# Is "butt hurt" an anti-gay slur?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-butt-hurt-an-anti-gay-slur/652597
**Category:** Factual Questions
**Created:** [March 11, 2013, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-butt-hurt-an-anti-gay-slur/652597 "2013-03-11T02:09:42Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@JerseySwamps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JerseySwamps)
#### Post date: [March 11, 2013, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-butt-hurt-an-anti-gay-slur/652597/1 "2013-03-11T02:09:42Z")
I don’t understand why someone having their feelings hurt is referred to as “butt hurt”.
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### Author:  [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)
#### Post date: [March 11, 2013, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-butt-hurt-an-anti-gay-slur/652597/2 "2013-03-11T02:14:38Z")
Think “pain in the ass”.
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### Author:  [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)
#### Post date: [March 11, 2013, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-butt-hurt-an-anti-gay-slur/652597/3 "2013-03-11T02:27:36Z")
> [@Clothahump](#):
>
> Think “pain in the ass”.
Ok, then what? 😕
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### Author:  [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)
#### Post date: [March 11, 2013, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-butt-hurt-an-anti-gay-slur/652597/4 "2013-03-11T02:33:05Z")
I always read it to mean “pissy in the manner of a small child who just got spanked and is acting indignant over something that was both petty and well deserved”.
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### Author:  [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)
#### Post date: [March 11, 2013, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-butt-hurt-an-anti-gay-slur/652597/5 "2013-03-11T02:33:49Z")
> [@Clothahump](#):
>
> Think “pain in the ass”.
When someone is a pain in the ass they’re super irritating to you. Butthurt is used in the sense of having one’s feelings hurt instead, so I don’t think they’re connected.
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### Author:  [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)
#### Post date: [March 11, 2013, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-butt-hurt-an-anti-gay-slur/652597/6 "2013-03-11T02:33:56Z")
Huh. I always thought it was an anal rape reference.
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### Author:  [@EatTheSun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EatTheSun)
#### Post date: [March 11, 2013, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-butt-hurt-an-anti-gay-slur/652597/7 "2013-03-11T03:03:05Z")
I was also under the impression that it was an anal rape reference, initially used in gaming to refer to a sore loser who “got raped”.
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### Author:  [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)
#### Post date: [March 11, 2013, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-butt-hurt-an-anti-gay-slur/652597/8 "2013-03-11T03:04:11Z")
I always thought of it as anal rape as well.
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### Author:  [@Dave\_Hartwick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dave_Hartwick)
#### Post date: [March 11, 2013, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-butt-hurt-an-anti-gay-slur/652597/9 "2013-03-11T03:13:29Z")
A site called Know Your Memes has it as originally referencing a spanked child, or just being a crybaby.
> **[Butthurt](https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/butthurt)**
>
> Butthurt is an online slang term used to describe a strongly negative or overemotional response. It is used to draw attention to a person who shows signs of being irritated due to a perceived insult, an unfavorable situation, or a lack of decent...
Please note this form for reporting your butthurt, and how it has no tick boxes for “I was raped in my butt.”
[ ](http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/060/713/butthurt-form.jpg)
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### Author:  [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)
#### Post date: [March 11, 2013, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-butt-hurt-an-anti-gay-slur/652597/10 "2013-03-11T03:24:18Z")
Um… wow no I never associated it with being anally raped. I always thought it was just referencing having gotten a spanking and feeling all sad and like life was unfair and all that, about it.
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### Author:  [@JerseySwamps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JerseySwamps)
#### Post date: [March 11, 2013, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-butt-hurt-an-anti-gay-slur/652597/11 "2013-03-11T03:37:34Z")
> [@MandaJo](#):
>
> I always read it to mean “pissy in the manner of a small child who just got spanked and is acting indignant over something that was both petty and well deserved”.
This makes a lot of sense. Thank you.
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### Author:  [@moriah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moriah)
#### Post date: [March 11, 2013, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-butt-hurt-an-anti-gay-slur/652597/12 "2013-03-11T03:45:03Z")
Just because it originally meant ‘spanked’ doesn’t mean chan4 hasn’t changed it into meaning ‘anal rape.’ Cf. ‘[surprised butt sex](http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/surprise-buttsecks).’ It’s also (now) meant to indicate someone ‘taking it’ in the manner of gay anal sex, adding in that extra bit of homophobia and feminization for good measure to belittle someone.
It’s an insult with many layers. It’s very deep.
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### Author:  [@TSBG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TSBG)
#### Post date: [March 11, 2013, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-butt-hurt-an-anti-gay-slur/652597/13 "2013-03-11T04:16:30Z")
Even if it is a reference to unwanted anal sex, I’m not sure it’s homophobic–I assume most if not all male homosexuals are against anal rape.
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### Author:  [@EatTheSun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EatTheSun)
#### Post date: [March 11, 2013, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-butt-hurt-an-anti-gay-slur/652597/14 "2013-03-11T04:23:15Z")
I’ll second that, despite thinking it was implying anal rape, I never picked up any homophobic undertones.
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### Author:  [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)
#### Post date: [March 11, 2013, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-butt-hurt-an-anti-gay-slur/652597/15 "2013-03-11T04:30:37Z")
I never thought it was an anal sex reference. I thought it meant somebody had their butt clenched up - the old Freudian thing about somebody being anal retentive. It’s the equivalent of saying somebody is a tightass or has a stick up their ass.
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### Author:  [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)
#### Post date: [March 11, 2013, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-butt-hurt-an-anti-gay-slur/652597/16 "2013-03-11T04:34:51Z")
I’m curious as to why the OP thinks it’s a gay slur. Don’t straight people have butts? And don’t they sometimes use them for sex? And isn’t that sex sometimes nonvoluntary, as in rape?
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### Author:  [@Snarky\_Kong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snarky_Kong)
#### Post date: [March 11, 2013, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-butt-hurt-an-anti-gay-slur/652597/17 "2013-03-11T04:56:03Z")
> [@moriah](#):
>
> Just because it originally meant ‘spanked’ doesn’t mean chan4 hasn’t changed it into meaning ‘anal rape.’ Cf. ‘[surprised butt sex](http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/surprise-buttsecks).’ It’s also (now) meant to indicate someone ‘taking it’ in the manner of gay anal sex, adding in that extra bit of homophobia and feminization for good measure to belittle someone.
>
> It’s an insult with many layers. It’s very deep.
What does your cite have to do with “butthurt?”
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### Author:  [@Aji\_de\_Gallina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aji_de_Gallina)
#### Post date: [March 11, 2013, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-butt-hurt-an-anti-gay-slur/652597/18 "2013-03-11T05:31:42Z")
> [@panache45](#):
>
> I’m curious as to why the OP thinks it’s a gay slur. Don’t straight people have butts? And don’t they sometimes use them for sex? And isn’t that sex sometimes nonvoluntary, as in rape?
I imagine that if we combine the fact that for many people (including me) it has an anal-sex reference, and that the percentage of gay men engaing in anal sex is much, much higher that the percentage of striaght men doing it, we get a not-really-gay-friendly phrase.
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### Author:  [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eyebrows_0f_Doom)
#### Post date: [March 11, 2013, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-butt-hurt-an-anti-gay-slur/652597/19 "2013-03-11T05:41:40Z")
No. It’s not.
[QUOTE=Manda JO]
I always read it to mean “pissy in the manner of a small child who just got spanked and is acting indignant over something that was both petty and well deserved”.
[/QUOTE]
Bingo.
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### Author:  [@Mr.Slant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Slant)
#### Post date: [March 11, 2013, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-butt-hurt-an-anti-gay-slur/652597/20 "2013-03-11T05:44:36Z")
> [@Aji\_de\_Gallina](#):
>
> the percentage of gay men engaing in anal sex is much, much higher that the percentage of striaght men doing it
The quoted part above is actually controversial.
In recent years, anal sex has gotten a lot more popular with straight people.
Engaging in anal sex is NOT a universal thing among gay men.
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