# Is calling a woman THIS WORD okay? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 4, 2009, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-calling-a-woman-this-word-okay/495275 "2009-05-04T13:08:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Half\_Man\_Half\_Wit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/half_man_half_wit/32/21766_2.png) [@Half\_Man\_Half\_Wit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Half_Man_Half_Wit)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2009, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-calling-a-woman-this-word-okay/495275/21 "2009-05-04T16:07:47Z")
Isn’t the idea behind words this offensive pretty much that they’re _not_ OK? That they in and of themselves constitute a transgression of acceptable social rules? If calling somebody a ‘cunt’ in some circumstances were OK, it wouldn’t make any sense to do so, since presumably causing offence is what’s being aimed at. That said, sometimes it may be OK to do something that’s not OK. ---
**Author:** ![Mister\_Owl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/919ad9/32.png) [@Mister\_Owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mister_Owl)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2009, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-calling-a-woman-this-word-okay/495275/22 "2009-05-04T16:15:45Z")
Use the word gash instead. Since it’s relatively uncommon in this context they usually have to think about it to understand the meaning. That often increases the impact. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2009, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-calling-a-woman-this-word-okay/495275/23 "2009-05-04T16:20:31Z")
Answer me this: How does a woman act thusly and what is the corresponding word for men? ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2009, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-calling-a-woman-this-word-okay/495275/24 "2009-05-04T17:13:35Z")
[quote=“Audrey\_Levins, post:1, topic:495275”] I do not want to unfairly prejudice the results of this survey, so I will not ask anything but a.) No. b.) N/A c.) Completely and deeply not okay with it, to the point that if someone ever called me that IRL I probably would never speak to that person again. d.) N/A ---
**Author:** ![TheMerchandise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b487fb/32.png) [@TheMerchandise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheMerchandise)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2009, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-calling-a-woman-this-word-okay/495275/25 "2009-05-04T17:19:41Z")
a.) Yes b.) When she is being one. Which is a fairly non -descriptive, I admit. c.) If I am being one, sure. d.) Anecdote as explanation! When I was 16 and in the hold of a bout of a super-teenagery-angsty public tantrum, my sainted mother turned to me and calmly said, “TheMerchandise, you are being a cunt.” And it was so out of the norm, it shocked me out of my terrible behavior and made me think, “You know, I am.” And then I stopped. Sometimes it’s necessary to call a cunt a cunt. For the public good, if nothing else. ---
**Author:** ![Roland\_Orzabal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c2a13f/32.png) [@Roland\_Orzabal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roland_Orzabal)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2009, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-calling-a-woman-this-word-okay/495275/26 "2009-05-04T17:28:43Z")
> [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](#): > > a) Yes > > b) When you want deliberately to insult her by reducing her to her genitalia. > > c) when appropriate > > d) It’s a word, people generally know what it means, it serves a purpose, and I don’t think much of officious rules dictating, allowing, forbidding, etc. the use of words. So as to avoid unintentional conveyance of offense toward our community’s outspoken contingent against the use of the discussion board shorthand “This” as a response suitable in its entirety to communicate the notion of total agreement with the above-quoted passage in intent, phrasing, and corresponding ideology, I shall construct this awkward, artificially elaborate sentence to convey precisely the same notion, in the hopes that those whose sensibilities preclude recourse to such brevities might deem my submission worthwhile. As for referring to a woman that way myself, I’ve only done it once…and in that situation, it communicated the intended (and richly deserved) idea perfectly. ---
**Author:** ![guizot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guizot/32/3636_2.png) [@guizot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/guizot)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2009, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-calling-a-woman-this-word-okay/495275/27 "2009-05-04T17:31:23Z")
I don’t see any reason for having a different word for a woman who annoys from a man who annoys. Usually it’s not because she is a woman that she annoys, unless the speaker is a man who has some kind of hang-up about women. A jerk is a jerk, and an asshole is an asshole. When men say “bitch” or “cunt,” it’s because they think women have a lessor right to be confrontational than men–“How dare she cause me problems!!! And she’s a WOMAN, no less!” When women use these words, they’re drawing on male dominance. It’s one thing to be a “jerk.” It’s a lot worse to be a “bitch,” because women have less right to annoy. ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2009, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-calling-a-woman-this-word-okay/495275/28 "2009-05-04T17:36:37Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > A. Yes > B. If she is one > C. Completely comfortable > D. Sometimes you need something stronger than “bitch.” Dio and I see eye to eye on this one. I’ll give the caveat that I’ve given on this topic before, a great deal of my family is Irish, and that word seems to be used a great deal more by them than by a lot of others. It comes up in casual conversation pretty often (most often referring to someone as a “daft cunt” or a “decent cunt”) so I don’t attach the A-bomb level of severity to the word as lots of other people. ---
**Author:** ![Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleeps_With_Butterflies)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2009, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-calling-a-woman-this-word-okay/495275/29 "2009-05-04T17:38:31Z")
**a.) is it ever OK to call a woman a cunt?** Ever? Sure. **b.) if that is OK, under what circumstances?** If they’ve really, really pissed you off. Name calling seems fairly childish to me unless you’re joking, but to each their own. **c.) if you’re a woman, are you okay being called this? and if you’re a man, are you okay with calling her that?** I’m okay with it as much as I am okay with being called any other name. **d.) If you’re a woman who is OK with it, why? And if you’re a man, why are you OK with saying it?** It’s actually my favorite swear word, but I’m careful to use it only when I’m around people I know won’t be offended because some people have such a strong reaction to it. I’m also trying to do without swearing at all lately. ---
**Author:** ![Claire\_Beauchamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ec9cab/32.png) [@Claire\_Beauchamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Claire_Beauchamp)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2009, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-calling-a-woman-this-word-okay/495275/30 "2009-05-04T17:55:51Z")
> [@guizot](#): > > When men say “bitch” or “cunt,” it’s because they think women have a lessor right to be confrontational than men–“How dare she cause me problems!!! And she’s a WOMAN, no less!” Exactly. You want to call me a jerk or whatever, that’s one thing. To use a female-specific epithet takes it to a whole 'nother level. It’s insulting AND misogynistic, and THAT I won’t tolerate. And if a woman uses the word to describe another woman, that makes it no less misogynistic. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2009, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-calling-a-woman-this-word-okay/495275/31 "2009-05-04T18:00:09Z")
> [@guizot](#): > > When men say “bitch” or “cunt,” it’s because they think women have a lessor right to be confrontational than men–“How dare she cause me problems!!! And she’s a WOMAN, no less!” > > When women use these words, they’re drawing on male dominance. It’s one thing to be a “jerk.” It’s a lot worse to be a “bitch,” because women have less right to annoy. This is a complete load of crap. It has nothing to do with any perceived right to be confrontational. It has to do with being an asshole. ---
**Author:** ![guizot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guizot/32/3636_2.png) [@guizot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/guizot)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2009, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-calling-a-woman-this-word-okay/495275/32 "2009-05-04T18:11:46Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > This is a complete load of crap. It has nothing to do with any perceived right to be confrontational. It has to do with being an asshole. Then why do we need a different word when the asshole is a woman? ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2009, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-calling-a-woman-this-word-okay/495275/33 "2009-05-04T18:11:51Z")
> [@Claire\_Beauchamp](#): > > Exactly. You want to call me a jerk or whatever, that’s one thing. To use a female-specific epithet takes it to a whole 'nother level. It’s insulting AND misogynistic, and THAT I won’t tolerate. And if a woman uses the word to describe another woman, that makes it no less misogynistic. So is “Bitch” off limits to you too, or just that one word, because it qualifies as to pushing your button. What about “twat” or “pussy”? ---
**Author:** ![Claire\_Beauchamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ec9cab/32.png) [@Claire\_Beauchamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Claire_Beauchamp)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2009, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-calling-a-woman-this-word-okay/495275/34 "2009-05-04T18:18:54Z")
> [@Cluricaun](#): > > So is “Bitch” off limits to you too, or just that one word, because it qualifies as to pushing your button. What about “twat” or “pussy”? I’ll repeat: “To use a female-specific epithet takes it to a whole 'nother level.” ---
**Author:** ![pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pseudotriton_ruber_ruber)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2009, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-calling-a-woman-this-word-okay/495275/35 "2009-05-04T18:23:38Z")
> [@Claire\_Beauchamp](#): > > I’ll repeat: “To use a female-specific epithet takes it to a whole 'nother level.” If you prick a cunt, does she not bleed? ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2009, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-calling-a-woman-this-word-okay/495275/36 "2009-05-04T18:27:13Z")
> [@guizot](#): > > Then why do we need a different word when the asshole is a woman? That’s the way the language evolved. A lot of the words typically used against men (“asshole,” “bastard,” “son of a bitch,” “cocksucker,” "dick, “prick,” etc.) are unsuitable or just sound strange being directed against women. “Bitch and cunt” are really all we have. The range of vocabulary for imprecations againt men is rich, nuanced and varied. The range for words which don’t sound weird when used against women is very small. You have no basis at all for saying that guys who use the words “bitch” or “cunt” or doing it becayuse they’re misogynist or have a problem with women. I can assure you that I don’t. Try to use a little smaller brush. You sound like you just stepped out of a 1970’s Gloria Steinem column. The kind of tendentious extropolations you’re makin border on feminist self-parody. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2009, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-calling-a-woman-this-word-okay/495275/37 "2009-05-04T18:29:37Z")
> [@Claire\_Beauchamp](#): > > I’ll repeat: “To use a female-specific epithet takes it to a whole 'nother level.” No it doesn’t. It just shows that the range of vocabulary and nuance for imprecation is much larger for male targets than for female ones. ---
**Author:** ![Telcontar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3bc359/32.png) [@Telcontar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telcontar)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2009, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-calling-a-woman-this-word-okay/495275/38 "2009-05-04T18:37:41Z")
> [@Audrey\_Levins](#): > > I do not want to unfairly prejudice the results of this survey, so I will not ask anything but > > a.) is it ever OK to call a woman a cunt? > > b.) if that is OK, under what circumstances? > > c.) if you’re a woman, are you okay being called this? and if you’re a man, are you okay with calling her that? > > d.) If you’re a woman who is OK with it, why? And if you’re a man, why are you OK with saying it? > > I promise I will explain why I’m asking. 🙂 a.) Yes, to the extent that obscenity is ever appropriate. b.) Whenever obscenity in general is appropriate. c.) Man: Well, I don’t think I’ve ever used the word, but i’ve no special aversion to. d.) There is a tradition stretching back millennia for using references to sexual and excretory organs as insults. I don’t see this one as any different. I see “cunt” as being on level with “asshole,” “dick,” or “cocksucker” (thank you Deadwood) rather than “nigger.” ---
**Author:** ![guizot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guizot/32/3636_2.png) [@guizot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/guizot)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2009, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-calling-a-woman-this-word-okay/495275/39 "2009-05-04T18:45:24Z")
> [@Cluricaun](#): > > So is “Bitch” off limits to you too, or just that one word, because it qualifies as to pushing your button. What about “twat” or “pussy”? I don’t find it “off limits” so much as unnecessary. If someone is a jerk, they’re a jerk, whether man or woman. People (mostly men) will use “bitch” to say: “Not only is that person a jerk, but _she’s a female_ jerk to boot!” As if that makes it all the worse, so we need a special word. This is ordinary sociolinguistics at play, and it’s completely obvious. I realize, however, that some words get used so much that they lose their sexual connotations, such as “pussy,” meaning the opposite of “aggressive.” “Bitch” hasn’t lost its sexual connotation; nobody calls a heterosexual male a “bitch” to say that he’s a jerk or asshole. Why is “douche (bag)” such an insult? Simply because it has to do with female genitalia, as though there were something intrinsically negative about female genitalia, or being female. Come on, it’s so obvious. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2009, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-calling-a-woman-this-word-okay/495275/40 "2009-05-04T18:50:00Z")
> [@guizot](#): > > Why is “douche (bag)” such an insult? Simply because it has to do with female genitalia, as though there were something intrinsically negative about female genitalia, or being female. Come on, it’s so obvious. Calling someone a prick is gender-specific too. Is prick a sexist and oppressive word? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-calling-a-woman-this-word-okay/495275.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-calling-a-woman-this-word-okay/495275.md?page=3)