# Is calling a woman THIS WORD okay? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 4, 2009, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-calling-a-woman-this-word-okay/495275 "2009-05-04T13:08:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2009, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-calling-a-woman-this-word-okay/495275/41 "2009-05-04T18:58:58Z")
> [@guizot](#): > > Why is “douche (bag)” such an insult? Simply because it has to do with female genitalia, as though there were something intrinsically negative about female genitalia, or being female. Come on, it’s so obvious. Douche isn’t so much really an insult as something naughty sounding that can be said on TV and the radio without fear of repercussion hence it’s current turn as the insult du jour. How do you feel about calling someone a “shrill harpy?” It’s still gender specific since you never hear it about dudes, but has nothing to do with the hoo ha, so as long as I avoid disparaging the holist of holies I’m in the clear? ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2009, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-calling-a-woman-this-word-okay/495275/42 "2009-05-04T19:12:47Z")
> [@guizot](#): > > I realize, however, that some words get used so much that they lose their sexual connotations, such as “pussy,” meaning the opposite of “aggressive.” “Bitch” hasn’t lost its sexual connotation; nobody calls a heterosexual male a “bitch” to say that he’s a jerk or asshole. They don’t? Where have you been for about the last 20 years? Have you ever heard a rap song? Do you ever watch TV? “Bitch” gets used against men more often than women these days. ---
**Author:** ![hroark2112](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6a8cbe/32.png) [@hroark2112](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hroark2112)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2009, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-calling-a-woman-this-word-okay/495275/43 "2009-05-04T19:21:44Z")
That’s one of those words that, if you’re using it, you’re probably using it to elicit a response. Personally, I only use it if I’m really trying to piss a woman off. It’s very effective, especially if she’s drunk. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2009, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-calling-a-woman-this-word-okay/495275/44 "2009-05-04T19:32:32Z")
> [@guizot](#): > > Then why do we need a different word when the asshole is a woman? We don’t. “Cunt” is an equal-opportunity sobriquet, just like “dick,” “prick,” and “asshole.” While I think that it’s perfectly okay to bust these words out on women as appropriate, in practice I find that they are all usually reserved for men – probably because it’s much less common for me to be _obliged_ to interect with women that are cunts, pricks, dicks, or assholes. On the other hand, I’ve worked plenty of jobs where the various groups of (male) cunts, pricks, dicks and assholes each had their own reserved seating in the cafeterias. ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2009, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-calling-a-woman-this-word-okay/495275/45 "2009-05-04T19:56:20Z")
a.) No, never. b.) I once met a woman who called herself one. In talking about her, I might refer to the fact that she called herself that, but I won’t call her that. c.) I’m a man, and no. On the comparison to dick or prick, I see cunt as a much harder word. A man who’s a dick is a jerk. A man who’s a prick goes out of his way to be a jerk, and he enjoys it. Cunt is a word I might someday call a woman when I couldn’t think of another word vile enough to be appropriate. I have a large vocabulary, so I’ve never been in that situation. ---
**Author:** ![guizot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guizot/32/3636_2.png) [@guizot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/guizot)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2009, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-calling-a-woman-this-word-okay/495275/46 "2009-05-04T21:32:09Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > They don’t? Where have you been for about the last 20 years? Have you ever heard a rap song? Do you ever watch TV? “Bitch” gets used against men more often than women these days. “to say that he’s a jerk or asshole” ---
**Author:** ![dangermom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e274bd/32.png) [@dangermom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dangermom)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2009, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-calling-a-woman-this-word-okay/495275/47 "2009-05-04T21:35:05Z")
> [@Cluricaun](#): > > So is “Bitch” off limits to you too, or just that one word, because it qualifies as to pushing your button. What about “twat” or “pussy”? I certainly wouldn’t tolerate any of them. I guy I was dating in college once called me that as a joke, but he promptly learned not to do that again. ---
**Author:** ![guizot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guizot/32/3636_2.png) [@guizot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/guizot)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2009, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-calling-a-woman-this-word-okay/495275/48 "2009-05-04T21:36:02Z")
> [@Cluricaun](#): > > How do you feel about calling someone a “shrill harpy?” It’s an antiquated version of “bitch.” I don’t really feel that must about any of these terms of address, one way or the other. I just recognize the semantics involved. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2009, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-calling-a-woman-this-word-okay/495275/49 "2009-05-04T21:51:52Z")
> [@guizot](#): > > “to say that he’s a jerk or asshole” Yes, that exact use for men is ubiquitous. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2009, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-calling-a-woman-this-word-okay/495275/50 "2009-05-04T22:16:13Z")
Many moons ago, I knew a woman who enjoyed being called ‘cunt.’ Well, _enjoyed_ is probably the wrong word. But she could only have an orgasm during sex if she were verbally abused, and part of that was being called a dumb little cunt. She wasn’t well, as you imagine. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2009, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-calling-a-woman-this-word-okay/495275/51 "2009-05-04T22:41:55Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Calling someone a prick is gender-specific too. Is prick a sexist and oppressive word? As much as ‘cracker’ carries the same weight as ‘nigger.’ Like I wrote, context is everything. And really I’m of two minds – shouting offensive words form the rooftops to drain them of their power (which, I believe, is Quentin Tarantino’s advice), or try not to use them. As it is, I’m trying to fit as many ‘dicks’ as possible (yeah, I said it) into my speech just to even things out, what with all the ‘bitches’ going around. And while I love that douchebag is the term du jour (there was a thread about it – I support its usage in reference to someone/thing that is bad for vaginas), I’ve stopped using ‘pussy’ to mean weak – that one just never made any sense at all. As Dan Savage says, scrotums are weak. Pussies are ridiculously resilient. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2009, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-calling-a-woman-this-word-okay/495275/52 "2009-05-04T23:36:11Z")
a. Yes b. When she is one. c. Yes d. Why not? Any term has an example. I’ve met a couple examples in my life. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2009, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-calling-a-woman-this-word-okay/495275/53 "2009-05-05T00:22:43Z")
Adding that I’m another person who tends to be joyously gender-neutral in the application of such terms. I’ll call a woman a dick, a guy a bitch, a cunt, whatever. > [@dangermom](#): > > I certainly wouldn’t tolerate any of them. I guy I was dating in college once called me that as a joke, but he promptly learned not to do that again. Right, but this is a thread about insults, in essence. I don’t think you’re supposed to be all cool and happy about being called **any** of these words. But what if a friend used the Very Bad Words about someone else, maybe someone who was awful and dangerous and all of that. Well, actually, I don’t mind “bitch” that much. It means I pissed someone off, and typically it seems like when that word gets trotted out, it’s more their problem than the target’s. ---
**Author:** ![guizot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guizot/32/3636_2.png) [@guizot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/guizot)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2009, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-calling-a-woman-this-word-okay/495275/54 "2009-05-05T01:35:23Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > Yes, that exact use for men is ubiquitous. I suggest you listen or read more closely, especially to [definition #2](http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=bitch) here. ---
**Author:** ![dangermom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e274bd/32.png) [@dangermom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dangermom)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2009, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-calling-a-woman-this-word-okay/495275/55 "2009-05-05T01:47:18Z")
> [@Ferret\_Herder](#): > > Right, but this is a thread about insults, in essence. I don’t think you’re supposed to be all cool and happy about being called **any** of these words. But what if a friend used the Very Bad Words about someone else, maybe someone who was awful and dangerous and all of that. In that case I’d call them an awful, dangerous person. I don’t like hearing language like that used for human beings, and most of my friends know it. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2009, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-calling-a-woman-this-word-okay/495275/56 "2009-05-05T02:23:30Z")
> [@guizot](#): > > I suggest you listen or read more closely, especially to [definition #2](http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=bitch) here. I think you need to take your own advice. I repeat, the word “bitch” is used ubiquitously against men with the exact same range of meaning that it’s used againts women. Your perception of misogyny in these words is exaggerated at best. ---
**Author:** ![DaphneBlack](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daphneblack/32/5389_2.png) [@DaphneBlack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DaphneBlack)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2009, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-calling-a-woman-this-word-okay/495275/57 "2009-05-05T02:51:15Z")
I’m far more likely to call a man a cunt than a woman, but that’s just the way it’s used in the UK. I wouldn’t call anybody a cunt to their face, but that’s just the way I am. It’s not that offensive to me, and neither is calling a guy a ‘prick’ or whatever. It’s a (they are) nice visceral word(s). ---
**Author:** ![ToeJam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dfb087/32.png) [@ToeJam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ToeJam)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2009, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-calling-a-woman-this-word-okay/495275/58 "2009-05-05T02:57:01Z")
To me- GASH is WAAAY worse to me. That one actually gives me a visceral reaction. I would NEVER call a female that word just because it icks me out. I could easily call her a cunt vs. that word if I HAD to pick a word or some crazy Hilter trapped in a burning car with my son scenario. I think that’s the problem for me, this sort of question/issue only comes up in discussions with my good female friends, and then we end up calling each other cunts and then laugh about it. It’s never really had a “negative connotation” because I’ve never thought to use THAT particular word when I have negative thoughts or reason to use negative words. That one never really crosses my mind WHEN the time comes, it’s only after the fact in descriptions or such. I’m more likely to call a woman a dick or a bitch or a pussy or an asshole or even just prickish depending on what she’s doing. Cunt is just a silly word to me. It makes me think of Punting field goals honestly. Or Cunning Stunts. ---
**Author:** ![firstname](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/7ab992/32.png) [@firstname](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/firstname)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2009, 12:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-calling-a-woman-this-word-okay/495275/59 "2009-05-05T12:06:14Z")
1. Sure, its just a word. 2. Any circumstance where name calling is appropriate. 3. Why not. 4. Just a word, get over it. I don’t really understand why people get upset over words. ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2009, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-calling-a-woman-this-word-okay/495275/60 "2009-05-05T12:33:59Z")
I swear like there’s no tomorrow in company I know swears similarly…in polite company, I keep my blaspheming to **bugger** and **damn** in keeping with the tone of my peers. 😃 I’ve rarely needed to invoke CUNT, and prefer to keep it safe and sound for those times when it is really needed. I have never used it to refer to a woman, but HAVE used it for other reasons when the circumstances required its utterance. IOW, Cunt is the word of last retort when I am REALLY fucked-off. 😛 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-calling-a-woman-this-word-okay/495275.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-calling-a-woman-this-word-okay/495275.md?page=4)