# Is Cecil dead and replaced? **URL:** \ **Category:** About This Message Board\ **Created:** [February 17, 2001, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-cecil-dead-and-replaced/54910 "2001-02-17T21:00:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![PlanMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/2bfe46/32.png) [@PlanMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlanMan)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2001, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-cecil-dead-and-replaced/54910/21 "2001-02-19T02:20:27Z")
I know the answer … CA was not only “removed with extreme prejudice” by the cigarette smoking man, but was also REPLACED by him. Now, this doesn’t mean the Cecil is dead, but he might be part of an ongoing experiment 33 levels below Area 51. Now that I have revealed THE TRUTH, even tho’ it seems to be Out There, I will have to kill you all. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2001, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-cecil-dead-and-replaced/54910/22 "2001-02-19T04:18:22Z")
Well I for one find the existence of Cecil a heckuva lot more plausible than this supposed **handy** character. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2001, 9:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-cecil-dead-and-replaced/54910/23 "2001-02-19T09:10:02Z")
Actually, Cecil is really a sentient grove of trees in New England. They bio-engineered a T-3 line into it’s cellular systems, which is how it communicates with everyone. Apparently, the larger the grove of trees, the smarter it becomes. ---
**Author:** ![Fiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e274bd/32.png) [@Fiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fiver)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2001, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-cecil-dead-and-replaced/54910/24 "2001-02-19T13:42:05Z")
Golly, **TVeblen**. I’m amazed to see a moderator, of all people, admitting that Cecil is a committee or a ghostwriter and not an individual. I thought you were all onboard with the myth. ---
**Author:** ![C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b2d939/32.png) [@C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C_K_Dexter_Haven)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2001, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-cecil-dead-and-replaced/54910/25 "2001-02-19T13:54:45Z")
OK, OK, we will nag Cecil again and see if we can get him to post a bit. As Lynn says, he dislikes it, but every so often we can push him. ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2001, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-cecil-dead-and-replaced/54910/26 "2001-02-19T15:32:47Z")
TVeblen, drive by posting? I like that idea. FYI, I did a fresh search for Cecil marks just a minute before that post. It might be old to you; but you haven’t nor has anyone else explained about the mark registration. If you can answer why they dropped the mark in '89 & if they have a new one, I’d be most happy to read. No, I don’t think its a conspiracy, as a matter of fact, there are at least 4 people in IL with the name of “Cecil Adams” which verifies such a person exists. ---
**Author:** ![Montfort](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Montfort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Montfort)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2001, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-cecil-dead-and-replaced/54910/27 "2001-02-19T16:24:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by handy \* > \*\*TVeblen, drive by posting? I like that idea. \*\* This isn’t the first time you’ve been accused of being a drive-by poster. Of course, the last time you simply ignored it. ---
**Author:** ![TVeblen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2001, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-cecil-dead-and-replaced/54910/28 "2001-02-19T17:10:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Five \* > \*\*Golly, **TVeblen**. I’m amazed to see a moderator, of all people, admitting that Cecil is a committee or a ghostwriter and not an individual. I thought you were all onboard with the myth. \*\* I’m not admitting _anything_ for the simple, cogent reason I don’t KNOW–or care a damn. I haven’t the faintest idea who Cecil is; never met the man, though he did (smirk) once mention me in one of his rare posts. On my list of things to worry about, this doesn’t even make the top ten grand. Sheesh, it’s perfectly possible to enjoy the hell outta something fun and worthwhile without dissecting it into quivering goo. Don’t know and _don’t care_. > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by handy_ > \*\* It might be old to you; but you haven’t nor has anyone else explained about the mark registration. If you can answer why they dropped the mark in '89 & if they have a new one, I’d be most happy to read.\*\* Tell ya what, **handy** , if you want to pitch technicolor hissy fits over trademarks, have a ball. I somehow never assumed my mere presence here entitled me to demand explanations about the inner workings of The Reader and the SD. They provide the place–for free. If you assume more entitlements, your choice. Veb ---
**Author:** ![Wild\_Card](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ba9def/32.png) [@Wild\_Card](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wild_Card)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2001, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-cecil-dead-and-replaced/54910/29 "2001-02-19T19:26:17Z")
Why are you being such a s about this. It’s interesting information. It’s apparently true. And you’re going out of your way to make a federal case that it should never be discussed, at all, ever? That’s not right. ---
**Author:** ![Montfort](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Montfort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Montfort)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2001, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-cecil-dead-and-replaced/54910/30 "2001-02-19T19:37:18Z")
Umm, no, **Wild Card** , she’s not being such a s (?) about this. She’s being such a s (?, again) about **handy** ’s crusade to reveal that the name Cecil Adams has been trademarked. She doesn’t care. I don’t care. 10,000 other dopers don’t care. ---
**Author:** ![Soul\_of\_the\_Machine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a183cd/32.png) [@Soul\_of\_the\_Machine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soul_of_the_Machine)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2001, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-cecil-dead-and-replaced/54910/31 "2001-02-19T20:18:09Z")
I guess I’m one of the other 2937 posters who find Cecil trivia fascinating. Actually, I’m guessing the total would be nearly everybody here but you. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2001, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-cecil-dead-and-replaced/54910/32 "2001-02-19T22:12:03Z")
Well, as **TVeblen** notes, we moderators don’t know anything more about Cecil than the rest of the members. However, the very fact that we don’t know says something right there. It’s all well and good to claim that the “Cecil” answers are all ghostwritten by his staff, but _we moderators are all on his staff_, and I can say with certainty that I, for one, have never ghostwritten one of Cecil’s articles, nor have I been approached to do so, despite having written a few Staff Reports and being approached constantly for more. Perhaps there’s some other secret staff? Then what’s the purpose of the publicly-acknowledged one? It just doesn’t add up. The simplest explanation is that there is a single person, who writes under the name “Cecil Adams” (which is probably, admittedly, a pseudonym, and hence trademarkable), who happens to have phenomenal intelligence, insight, and research skills and who works for the _Chicago Reader_. ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2001, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-cecil-dead-and-replaced/54910/33 "2001-02-20T00:51:21Z")
Well, I thought that I might be looking for him in an incorrect area of the Trademark Office & that I should search for him another way, but why bother if people just going to get all pissy about it? I’d rather just ask Ed what he thinks. Montfort: The word you are looking for me, perhaps, is ‘Laconic’? I love that word. ---
**Author:** ![Montfort](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Montfort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Montfort)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2001, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-cecil-dead-and-replaced/54910/34 "2001-02-20T05:17:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by handy \* > **Montfort: The word you are looking for me, perhaps, is ‘Laconic’? I love that word.** This not being the Pit, **handy** , I’ll politely avoid using the word I was looking for in reference to you. And, if you want to know, you know where to ask. ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2001, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-cecil-dead-and-replaced/54910/35 "2001-02-20T13:31:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Chronos \* > \*\*…phenomenal intelligence, insight, and research skills and who works for the _Chicago Reader_. \*\* And he’s humble, too, on some subconscious level. He works for the _Chicago Reader._ ---
**Author:** ![C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b2d939/32.png) [@C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C_K_Dexter_Haven)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2001, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-cecil-dead-and-replaced/54910/36 "2001-02-20T15:03:53Z")
Moderators work for Ed Zotti, on behalf of the Chicago Reader, and therefore have no reason to have contact with either Cecil or Slug. Cecil is a bit of a recluse and he values his privacy, and he doesn’t want every stupid newspaper interviewer in the country sticking a microphone in his face and asking, “Are you really the world’s smartest person?” … Nor does he want some of the people whom he’s insulted to be able to get his address. Ed says that Cecil gets a real kick out of the speculation. While Cecil does enlist the help of various researchers (some of whom get credited in specific columns, some of whom do not), he does it all. Many of the questions that he doesn’t want to tackle himself, for whatever reason, he gives to Staff for possible use in a Staff Report. Since I do some of the admin for the Staff Reports, I can state very firmly that Staff Reports are written by Staff and edited by Ed, and Cecil has no involvement (with perhaps one or two exceptions.) ---
**Author:** ![John\_Corrado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a88e4f/32.png) [@John\_Corrado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Corrado)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2001, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-cecil-dead-and-replaced/54910/37 "2001-02-20T15:14:05Z")
Actually, what they don’t want you to know is that Cecil **did** die in a car crash on Wednesday, March 23rd, 1997. Since then, a look-alike has been acting out the role of Cecil Adams, both in regular appearances and in the writing of the column. All of this is explained in detail through the ‘clues’ found in the cover art of the Straight Dope Books. For example, on the cover of “More of The Straight Dope” is an obvious picture of Elvis, used to represent the opposite of Cecil, in the sense that Elvis is alive but everyone thinks he’s dead, while Cecil is dead but everyone thinks he’s alive. The other pictures also contain elements of the story- the punch on the nose represents the steering wheel impacting Cecil’s face and causing his death, the three people eating Spaghetti O’s represent Ed Zotti (the Roman), The Devil (the weird French-kind-of-looking guy), and the International Opium Conspiracy (the Oriental) all making a pact over dinner to hide Cecil’s death from a public that couldn’t take the news. Want more clues? Buy the books, and you’ll be able to find them out for yourself. But Cecil’s death is a well known fact to all _true_ Teeming Millions. [sub]Cranberry sauce.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2001, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-cecil-dead-and-replaced/54910/38 "2001-02-20T16:40:26Z")
“Nor does he want some of the people whom he’s insulted to be able to get his address.” I must concur with that. ---
**Author:** ![whitetho](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whitetho/32/1059_2.png) [@whitetho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whitetho)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2001, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-cecil-dead-and-replaced/54910/39 "2001-02-20T18:04:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by John Corrado \* > \*\*Actually, what they don’t want you to know is that Cecil **did** die in a car crash on Wednesday, March 23rd, 1997. Hmm, a tragic event like this would be a public record. Cite, please? (I thought so…) > [@](#): > > **Since then, a look-alike has been acting out the role of Cecil Adams, both in regular appearances and in the writing of the column.** Not to cast doubt on your veracity, but of course Cecil _never_ makes personal appearances. So, where is he making these so-called appearances? In your dreams? Visions? Hallucinations? > [@](#): > > **All of this is explained in detail through the ‘clues’ found in the cover art of the Straight Dope Books. For example, on the cover of “More of The Straight Dope” is an obvious picture of Elvis,** Elvis? That’s clearly Waylon Jennings! > [@](#): > > **used to represent the opposite of Cecil, in the sense that Elvis is alive but everyone thinks he’s dead, while Cecil is dead but everyone thinks he’s alive.** Again, not Elvis, but Waylon, who is famous for giving up his seat to The Big Bopper on the 3-stars-death-plane. Thus, this is symbolic of Cecil’s continuing good health. (Anyway, this cover dates back to 1988, so you’re claiming it foretells Cecil’s demise 9 years later.) Unca Cece’s 1999 dedication in _Triumph of the Straight Dope_ reads: _To Little Ed, in hopes that someday we’ll be able to figure out what it is with him, bratwurst, and rain._ If that doesn’t complete disprove these silly “Cecil is dead” rumors, then I don’t know what will. (Also, how do you explain the drawing of turkey-Cecil blowing smoke rings on the cover of _The Straight Dope Tells All_?) ---
**Author:** ![TubaDiva](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tubadiva/32/507_2.png) [@TubaDiva](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TubaDiva)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2001, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-cecil-dead-and-replaced/54910/40 "2001-02-20T18:20:29Z")
I buried Cecil. your humble TubaDiva The walrus was CKDexterHaven. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-cecil-dead-and-replaced/54910.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-cecil-dead-and-replaced/54910.md?page=3)