# Is Cecil dead? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cecil's Columns/Staff Reports\ **Created:** [May 24, 2001, 11:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-cecil-dead/66377 "2001-05-24T11:16:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![woolly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ebca7d/32.png) [@woolly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/woolly)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2001, 11:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-cecil-dead/66377/1 "2001-05-24T11:16:57Z")
From the SDMB home page We’ve got [Does “in like Flynn” refer to Errol Flynn’s success with women? 06-Sep-1996](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a980911a.html) … then we have [What does “kumbaya” mean? 11-Sep-1998](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a980911a.html) … and we also have [Are flamingos pink because they eat shrimps? 18-May-2001](http://www.straightdope.com/columns/010518.html) … which appears to this newbie as an official release of a thread foreshadowed in a Staff Report by JillGat and summarily thrashed out by the TMs in [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=64055](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=64055) back on March 19th 2001. Is this just an example of judicious economy, nea parsimony in the distribution of wisdom? Or does anyone else feel an eerie parallel with the Soviet Union practices when the Great Leader was on his death bed, normal programs were suspended and classical music (read threads) was played in their place? ---
**Author:** ![Starbury](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f04885/32.png) [@Starbury](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Starbury)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2001, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-cecil-dead/66377/2 "2001-05-24T13:02:31Z")
Interesting…from that thread you mentioned (in reference to the pink flamingos): > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by JillGat_ > > I didn’t ask you people to fucking research the answers to these questions. I already have them. I just need encouragement to write them up. Now you’ll take credit for my answers. **Whitetho** _almost_ had me convinced that **Ed Zotti** was essentially the Clark Kent to **Cecil’s** Superman, but now I’m not so sure. Did Cecil plagerise JillGat, or is JillGat the real Cecil? ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2001, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-cecil-dead/66377/3 "2001-05-24T13:13:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Starbury \* > **Whitetho** _almost_ had me convinced that **Ed Zotti** was essentially the Clark Kent to **Cecil’s** Superman, but now I’m not so sure. Did Cecil plagerise JillGat, or is JillGat the real Cecil? \*\* I dunno if His Eminence is dead, but I did find out something I Did Not Know. **Whitetho** has a file in the [FAQ](http://www.straightdope.com/faq/index.html#faq), the one asking if Cecil and Ed are one and the same. How cool is that! Hope some day I get a FAQ in there, too! 😃 [Hope it’s the same **Whitetho** , tho.] ---
**Author:** ![JillGat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9fc29f/32.png) [@JillGat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JillGat)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2001, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-cecil-dead/66377/4 "2001-05-24T18:42:07Z")
No, no, NO! I _was_ gonna do the pink flamingo thing as a staff report, but gave up and sent my notes to Cecil, who said Jeez, coulda saved you a lot of time and effort since I already know the answer to this… When will I learn? ---
**Author:** ![woolly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ebca7d/32.png) [@woolly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/woolly)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2001, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-cecil-dead/66377/5 "2001-05-24T21:45:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by JillGat \* > \*\*…sent my notes to Cecil, who said Jeez, coulda saved you a lot of time and effort since I already know the answer to this \*\* Sounds reasonable to me. From this would it be fair to assume this is standard procedure and therefore all the published staff reports are on a topic Cecil doesn’t know? ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2001, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-cecil-dead/66377/6 "2001-05-24T22:06:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by woolly \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by JillGat \* > > \*\*…sent my notes to Cecil, who said Jeez, coulda saved you a lot of time and effort since I already know the answer to this \*\* > > Sounds reasonable to me. From this would it be fair to assume this is standard procedure and therefore all the published staff reports are on a topic Cecil doesn’t know? \*\* No, of course not. Cecil knows all, he just doesn’t tell all. Of course, sometimes he has to be _reminded_ about stuff he already knows. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![DRY](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a87d85/32.png) [@DRY](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DRY)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2001, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-cecil-dead/66377/7 "2001-05-25T03:16:18Z")
Hey, they made **Coldfire** a mod, after Cecil told him: > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Cecil Adams \* > \*\*Eat shit and die, you loser. Sorry, wrong forum, but it IS my message board. \*\* It happened here: [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=23950](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=23950) My thinking is, they NEVER would have made “Rush Boy” a mod if Cecil’s power wasn’t ebbing, given what the opinions oof the great god himself about the individual in question. 😉 So, do we suck up to **Coldfire** now? As Pompey once said to Sulla, “More people worship the rising sun than the setting sun” :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Dijon\_Warlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9a28c/32.png) [@Dijon\_Warlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dijon_Warlock)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2001, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-cecil-dead/66377/8 "2001-05-25T04:16:34Z")
I’m betting after using language like that, the admins banned the crotchety old buzzard. They just didn’t want to upset people. Note the title under his name: Perfect Master. Isn’t there some martial arts tradition about not bestowing a tenth degree black belt upon someone until they have passed on? The theory being that as long as they are alive they can still learn, and thus have not achieved perfection? Just trying to soften the blow, I’m thinking… ---
**Author:** ![JillGat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9fc29f/32.png) [@JillGat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JillGat)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2001, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-cecil-dead/66377/9 "2001-05-25T04:19:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by woolly \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by JillGat \* > > \*\*…sent my notes to Cecil, who said Jeez, coulda saved you a lot of time and effort since I already know the answer to this \*\* > > Sounds reasonable to me. From this would it be fair to assume this is standard procedure and therefore all the published staff reports are on a topic Cecil doesn’t know? \*\* He humors us. Having our name in lights keeps us around and working for coffee cups. ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2001, 8:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-cecil-dead/66377/10 "2001-05-25T08:24:43Z")
I think it’s pretty safe to say that you can only be sure Cecil Adams is dead when you see him on a US Postal stamp. ---
**Author:** ![Dijon\_Warlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9a28c/32.png) [@Dijon\_Warlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dijon_Warlock)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2001, 8:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-cecil-dead/66377/11 "2001-05-25T08:40:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Arnold Winkelried \* > \*\*I think it’s pretty safe to say that you can only be sure Cecil Adams is dead when you see him on a US Postal stamp. \*\* Yeah, that’s what they said about Elvis… ---
**Author:** ![C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b2d939/32.png) [@C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C_K_Dexter_Haven)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2001, 12:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-cecil-dead/66377/12 "2001-05-25T12:05:08Z")
\<\< From this would it be fair to assume this is standard procedure and therefore all the published staff reports are on a topic Cecil doesn’t know?\>\> Heretic! Cecil knows all, but some stuff he thinks is less interesting than other stuff. What he thinks is less interesting, that’s what he usually tosses to us for Staff Reports. Often, the stuff that Cecil puts together has not been done by anyone before, while Staff Reports are rarely primary research. When we do get asked to do primary research (like squeezing mosquitoes), it’s usually for Cecil’s column, not for a Staff Report. ---
**Author:** ![woolly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ebca7d/32.png) [@woolly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/woolly)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2001, 12:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-cecil-dead/66377/13 "2001-05-25T12:13:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by C K Dexter Haven \* > \*\*Heretic! \*\* Don’t you just love the wiff of hagiocracy in the morning. ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2001, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-cecil-dead/66377/14 "2001-05-25T12:58:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by C K Dexter Haven \* > Often, the stuff that Cecil puts together has not been done by anyone before, while Staff Reports are rarely primary research. When we do get asked to do primary research (like squeezing mosquitoes), it’s usually for Cecil’s column, not for a Staff Report. \*\* Whoa! So the poor, harried, much-abused Staff does both its own reports and the grunt work for The Mighty One? The problem with this OP is that in order to die, one must first be alive. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b2d939/32.png) [@C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C_K_Dexter_Haven)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2001, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-cecil-dead/66377/15 "2001-05-25T13:06:40Z")
\<\< So the poor, harried, much-abused Staff does both its own reports and the grunt work for The Mighty One? \>\> Yep. And as a reward, we not only get a free mug, but we get to be yelled at by Ed Zotti every once in a while. (Officially, Ed is in charge of the Staff Reports.) ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2001, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-cecil-dead/66377/16 "2001-05-25T13:12:06Z")
And when you say that the stuff He puts together has not been done by anyone before, you mean by anyone not on the staff, right? 🙂 But then again, that whole flamingoes-eating-shrimp thing has been done before by others… ---
**Author:** ![C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b2d939/32.png) [@C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C_K_Dexter_Haven)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2001, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-cecil-dead/66377/17 "2001-05-25T13:21:06Z")
I didn’t say that **everything** Cecil writes is primary research, only that **some** things are: like the origin of “kemo sabe”. I probably should have said that a lot of stuff written for Staff Reports is pretty much “readily available”, while Cecil tends to report stuff that’s harder for the ordinary shmoe to find. ---
**Author:** ![woolly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ebca7d/32.png) [@woolly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/woolly)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2001, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-cecil-dead/66377/18 "2001-05-25T13:37:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by C K Dexter Haven \* > \*\*Cecil tends to report stuff that’s harder for the ordinary shmoe to find. \*\* Ah, enlightenment … so venerable Perfect Master’s reputation is based on who he knows rather than what he knows? ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2001, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-cecil-dead/66377/19 "2001-05-25T17:39:34Z")
> [@](#): > > Yep. And as a reward, we not only get a free mug, but we get to be yelled at by Ed Zotti every once in a while. (Officially, Ed is in charge of the Staff Reports.) And we also get yelled at by Dex every twice or thrice in a while. ( **Un** officially, Dex is in charge of Staff Reports.) Quoth **dantheman** : > [@](#): > > The problem with this OP is that in order to die, one must first be alive. Well, Cecil is alive, but not as we know it. Rumour has it that he’s actually a hyperintelligent shade of the colour blue. ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2001, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-cecil-dead/66377/20 "2001-05-25T17:45:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Chronos \* > \*\*Well, Cecil is alive, but not as we know it. Rumour has it that he’s actually a hyperintelligent shade of the colour blue. \*\* Ah, that explains the report on [the blue people,](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a980724.html) doesn’t it? Hmmmmmmm. Did you guys have to help him research himself? 😃 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-cecil-dead/66377.md?page=2)