# Is Cecil dead? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cecil's Columns/Staff Reports\ **Created:** [May 24, 2001, 11:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-cecil-dead/66377 "2001-05-24T11:16:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Dijon\_Warlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9a28c/32.png) [@Dijon\_Warlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dijon_Warlock)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2001, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-cecil-dead/66377/21 "2001-05-28T23:43:59Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by Chronos \* \*\* > [@](#): > > Well, Cecil is alive, but not as we know it. Rumour has it that he’s actually a hyperintelligent shade of the colour blue. \*\* [Ah-HAH!!](http://www.blueman.com/) ---
**Author:** ![Irishman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@Irishman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Irishman)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2001, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-cecil-dead/66377/22 "2001-05-31T20:33:43Z")
Wow, I can’t believe I’m the first person to bust woolly on this. You are aware that Cecil only does one new column a week, posted to the web on Friday? Monday through Thursday they run either a classic column or a Staff Report. So the only pertinent observation is that Cecil’s column the previous week on flamingo color was previously presaged by JillGat claiming she was researching the topic and was going to write it for a staff report. And Jill has now answered that. And Jill, I was going to insert a joke here about you not writing your staff report and saying you must be lazy or something, there’s a reason you were booted from moderating Cecil’s Columns, but then I figured some hack would take my teasing remark, drop the joke, twist it out of context, and throw it back in your face later in one of the various and sundry moderator attacks. And I wouldn’t do that to you. So the joke is officially cancelled. 😉 dantheman asked: > [@](#): > > Whoa! So the poor, harried, much-abused Staff does both its own reports and the grunt work for The Mighty One? I thought originally the SDStaff were just for doing Cecil’s grunt work, and the mailbag thing came later? ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2001, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-cecil-dead/66377/23 "2001-05-31T21:24:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Irishman \* > \*\*I thought originally the SDStaff were just for doing Cecil’s grunt work, and the mailbag thing came later? \*\* Yup, far as I know, that’s the case; I’m just saying it seems like the poor staff’s pulling some double-duty, the poor sots… 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2001, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-cecil-dead/66377/24 "2001-06-01T16:51:50Z")
Triple duty. Remember, many of us moderate, too. Of course, I’m still relatively new to the job, so I don’t know which came first. ---
**Author:** ![woolly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ebca7d/32.png) [@woolly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/woolly)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2001, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-cecil-dead/66377/25 "2001-06-01T21:23:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by Irishman > Wow, I can’t believe I’m the first person to bust woolly on this. … and aren’t you just the sharpest tool in the shed. Several dopers, including three mods and an administrator, post in the thread and blow me down if all of us weren’t barking up the wrong gum tree til you saved the day. [sub]… walks away slowly shaking head, and I was going so well too [/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Mercutio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/51bf81/32.png) [@Mercutio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mercutio)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2001, 7:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-cecil-dead/66377/26 "2001-06-02T07:20:42Z")
He might be dead. I tried to lure him out with a thread about him at ATMB, but he never showed. All I wanted was for him to welcome me to the boards. ::sobs:: ---
**Author:** ![Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/50afbb/32.png) [@Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duck_Duck_Goose)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2001, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-cecil-dead/66377/27 "2001-06-02T14:32:51Z")
Well, I for one am happy to have the flamingo column clarified, because when _ **I** _ saw it, my first reaction was, “Cecil you bastard, you took Jill’s column away from her! Get your _own_ nifty topic, you greedy wordhog!” So. Cecil’s evidently not a greedy bastard? And he’s not dead either, 'cause I’ve been sitting here playing the _Abbey Road_ album backwards for a while now, and it only keeps telling me that Paul is dead. [sub]can’t do that with a CD, kids–vinyl rox 4-ever![/sub] ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2001, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-cecil-dead/66377/28 "2001-06-02T16:43:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Duck Duck Goose \* > \*\*And he’s not dead either, 'cause I’ve been sitting here playing the _Abbey Road_ album backwards for a while now, and it only keeps telling me that Paul is dead. > > [sub]can’t do that with a CD, kids–vinyl rox 4-ever![/sub] \*\* All you need to do is read **Triumph of the Straight Dope** backwards. Then you see this hidden message: “Oh yes,” said **C K Dexter Haven**. “I buried Cecil. Want a cite?” ---
**Author:** ![ModernRonin2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c37758/32.png) [@ModernRonin2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ModernRonin2)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2001, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-cecil-dead/66377/29 "2001-06-03T19:43:04Z")
**Arnold:** _I think it’s pretty safe to say that you can only be sure Cecil Adams is dead when you see him on a US Postal stamp._ **Dijon:** _Yeah, that’s what they said about Elvis…_ Sing it with me, now! “Cecil is everywhere! Cecil is everything! Cecil is everyone! Cecil is still the king!” 😃 Actually, as a slight hijack… I’m officially “Cecil agnostic.” I don’t know if Cecil actually exists, and I’m not sure I care. As long as someone keeps writing columns, I’m happy. Whether it’s really the world’s smartest individual, Cecil Adams, or not, isn’t terribly important to me. Someone writes, I read. That’s all. It’s all very Zen, or something. -Ben ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2001, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-cecil-dead/66377/30 "2001-06-03T22:43:03Z")
ModernRonin2 - if you’re quoting Mojo Nixon/Skid Roper, I can correct you since I was listening to that album in the car just a few days ago. Its “Elvis is everywhere, Elvis is everything, Elvis is every_body_, Elvis is still the King!” Though why Mojo and Skid picked on Michael J. Fox for being the evil anti-Elvis is still a puzzle for me. ---
**Author:** ![Irishman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@Irishman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Irishman)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2001, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-cecil-dead/66377/31 "2001-06-04T21:12:52Z")
Originally posted by woolly: > [@](#): > > Several dopers, including three mods and an administrator, post in the thread and blow me down if all of us weren’t barking up the wrong gum tree til you saved the day. Duh, that’s why I said I can’t believe I was the first to mention it. Or perhaps you can explain why you refer to a column dated 06 September \1996\, and one dated 11 September \1998\, as if they were the latest columns off the Cecil mill. ---
**Author:** ![JillGat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9fc29f/32.png) [@JillGat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JillGat)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2001, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-cecil-dead/66377/32 "2001-06-05T05:28:53Z")
[[And Jill, I was going to insert a joke here about you not writing your staff report and saying you must be lazy or something,…]] …yeah, and here I’ve written about 90 staff reports. Bout time Cecil took the load off… ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2001, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-cecil-dead/66377/33 "2001-06-06T13:04:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mercutio \* > \*\*He might be dead. I tried to lure him out with a thread about him at ATMB, but he never showed. > > All I wanted was for him to welcome me to the boards. > > ::sobs:: \*\* You were using the wrong bait. Try cash. Used, unmarked twenties work well. ---
**Author:** ![hawthorne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@hawthorne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hawthorne)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2001, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-cecil-dead/66377/34 "2001-06-06T14:51:43Z")
Luring him out is not an easy task **Mercutio** and not without its risks if money is not involved. He posted seven times in [Why the lame columns lately?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=37435&pagenumber=1), stopping at one point to request other posters stretch my anus for me. ---
**Author:** ![woolly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ebca7d/32.png) [@woolly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/woolly)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2001, 6:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-cecil-dead/66377/35 "2001-06-09T06:45:42Z")
picmr, I’ve got nothing to add, but just couldn’t allow such a tawdry episode against your goodself to be a threadkiller. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2001, 7:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-cecil-dead/66377/36 "2001-06-09T07:05:19Z")
Now this is a shock! They tell me Cecil is dead. I never knew that he was alive. ---
**Author:** ![jab1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ee7513/32.png) [@jab1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jab1)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2001, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-cecil-dead/66377/37 "2001-06-10T00:49:22Z")
I don’t know if Cecil is alive or dead, but I know he used to be an [electrician’s apprentice.](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a3_292.html) (Read the final paragraph.) ---
**Author:** ![Mercutio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/51bf81/32.png) [@Mercutio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mercutio)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2001, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-cecil-dead/66377/38 "2001-06-11T06:06:04Z")
::leaves a breifcase marked with “TO: Cecil Adams” filled with unmarked twenties in the Chicago Reader mailroom:: ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2001, 11:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-cecil-dead/66377/39 "2001-06-11T11:33:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jab1 \* > \*\*I don’t know if Cecil is alive or dead, but I know he used to be an [electrician’s apprentice.](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a3_292.html) (Read the final paragraph.) \*\* Nice find! You know what would be a great project for some altruistic (and completely bored) Doper would be to go through all of the archives and see how much we can find out about the Great Exalted One. Would make some great reading! [Of course, it might also allow us to catch him in a misstatement!] ---
**Author:** ![jmonster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/dbc845/32.png) [@jmonster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jmonster)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2001, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-cecil-dead/66377/40 "2001-06-11T14:17:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Duck Duck Goose \* > **can’t do that with a CD, kids–vinyl rox 4-ever!** Sure you can; just dump it to a .wav and reverse it with a basic sound editing program. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-cecil-dead/66377.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-cecil-dead/66377.md?page=3)