# Is conventional/literary wisdom true that . . . **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 29, 2011, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-conventional-literary-wisdom-true-that/590700 "2011-07-29T04:36:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Koxinga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4af34b/32.png) [@Koxinga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Koxinga)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2011, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-conventional-literary-wisdom-true-that/590700/1 "2011-07-29T04:36:29Z")
. . . a person who knows himself to be a coward is so terrified of being found out that he will deliberately run into a flurry of machine gun fire to avoid letting other people discover what a coward he is? . . . that attributes we hate to see in others are what we secretly despise most about ourselves? . . . that you must be true to yourself in order to be happy? . . . that this thread will die after three posts? Your answers and/or contributions? ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2011, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-conventional-literary-wisdom-true-that/590700/2 "2011-07-29T04:42:10Z")
> [@Koxinga](#): > > . . . that attributes we hate to see in others is what we secretly despise most about ourselves? In many cases I think so. Look at all the anti-gay guys who are caught having gay sex. And all the anti-sex “family values” types who have affairs in general. For that matter, watch America and France get mad at each other for being arrogant and stuck up. > [@Koxinga](#): > > . . . that you must be true to yourself in order to be happy? Probably true to a degree; you are certainly less likely to be happy if you are constantly going against your nature since that pretty much precludes you doing anything you actually enjoy. ---
**Author:** ![Postariti](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Postariti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Postariti)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2011, 9:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-conventional-literary-wisdom-true-that/590700/3 "2011-07-29T09:09:11Z")
> [@Koxinga](#): > > . . . a person who knows himself to be a coward is so terrified of being found out that he will deliberately run into a flurry of machine gun fire to avoid letting other people discover what a coward he is? I doubt this one. I’m a coward, and I’m not afraid for people to know it. I’m actually quite vocal about what I’m afraid of, and the fact that I won’t do certain things. (I’m afraid of heights.) > [@](#): > > . . . that this thread will die after three posts? We’re about to find out… ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2011, 10:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-conventional-literary-wisdom-true-that/590700/4 "2011-07-29T10:20:58Z")
> [@Koxinga](#): > > . . . that attributes we hate to see in others are what we secretly despise most about ourselves? I think this one depends a lot on the level of self-awareness. As an example, my brother used to get very worked up about people being disorganized - he’s become a lot more tolerant of it (and much better at helping people be organized about the parts he really cares about/needs) once he’s accepted that he’s a Chaos Node himself. > [@](#): > > . . . that you must be true to yourself in order to be happy? What **Der Trihs** said. > [@](#): > > . . . that this thread will die after three posts? No, but we’ll see whether it goes beyond three responses. ---
**Author:** ![BobArrgh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bobarrgh/32/2881_2.png) [@BobArrgh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobArrgh)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2011, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-conventional-literary-wisdom-true-that/590700/5 "2011-07-29T15:43:33Z")
I got nothin’ 😃 ---
**Author:** ![drpepper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8baadc/32.png) [@drpepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drpepper)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2011, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-conventional-literary-wisdom-true-that/590700/6 "2011-07-29T16:33:21Z")
> [@](#): > > .. . that attributes we hate to see in others are what we secretly despise most about ourselves? I’m not sure about specific attributes, I think that probably has some grain of truth to it (the anti-gay example is a good one). But in my experience people who are all around misanthropes generally don’t like themselves. I found this to be true of myself as a teenager (I either hated or had no respect for everyone; in retrospect it’s crystal clear to me that I didn’t like myself), and I see it as plain as day in others who constantly find things to be unhappy about in others. ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2011, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-conventional-literary-wisdom-true-that/590700/7 "2011-07-30T02:07:37Z")
> [@Koxinga](#): > > . . . a person who knows himself to be a coward is so terrified of being found out that he will deliberately run into a flurry of machine gun fire to avoid letting other people discover what a coward he is? I can’t say I’ve ever heard of this one before, so I’ve got to question whether it’s actually conventional wisdom or a common trope in fiction. > [@](#): > > . . . that attributes we hate to see in others are what we secretly despise most about ourselves? This is true at least some of the time, although it’s certainly possible to dislike attributes that one does not possess. Anecdote: A good friend of mine has remarked that President Obama’s manner of speaking reminds her a lot of her own father. Her father is a Republican so it’s no surprise that he’s not a huge Obama fan, but she says he’s specifically mentioned that he loathes Obama’s speaking style! > [@](#): > > . . . that you must be true to yourself in order to be happy? Sounds about right. Being true to oneself doesn’t _guarantee_ happiness, but I don’t see much chance for happiness if one is _false_ to oneself. Where one might go wrong would be in taking “be true to yourself” to mean “never change in any way”, but it’s not the same thing.