# Is dressing like a slut "asking for it"?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-dressing-like-a-slut-asking-for-it/581519>\
**Category:** Great Debates\
**Created:** [May 11, 2011, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-dressing-like-a-slut-asking-for-it/581519 "2011-05-11T14:30:18Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 1\
**Showing post:** 226

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**Author:** ![Stanislaus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stanislaus/32/3391_2.png) [@Stanislaus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stanislaus)\
**Post date:** [May 17, 2011, 10:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-dressing-like-a-slut-asking-for-it/581519/226 "2011-05-17T10:21:43Z")

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> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#):
>
> 1. If you find yourself walking the tightrope between consent and rape, you’re an evil person. That line you think is fuzzy? Staying on the correct side of the line is easy: you just don’t go tightrope walking along it.
> 2. If you need to imagine the world around you as a softcore fantasy in order to have sexual self-esteem, you’re a sad, pathetic, dangerous little person. Sad and pathetic because the real world is too harsh for you; dangerous because you project your fantasies onto other people instead of dealing with them as they really are.

This post finally jogged the memory that had been nagging at me when I first read TWTTWN’s post: in an [earlier thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=10541610#post10541610) on “pick up”, \*\*Lamia \*\*started digging through the “Mystery Method” book and discovered it was essentially a manifesto for date rape:

> [@Spinoff thread: Mystery Method (Pick-Up Artists): Manipulation or No?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spinoff-thread-mystery-method-pick-up-artists-manipulation-or-no/475588/181):
>
> Okay, now for the passage from _The Mystery Method_ that takes the creepiness prize from the passage about using a gun that I quoted before. I read this late last night and, although this may sound silly to some of you, it almost made me cry.
> 
> Late in the book Mystery discusses the “End Game”, and has a section on “Overcoming Last Minute Resistance”. (I have no doubt that Mystery encounters a lot of last minute resistance, as the woman thinks “Wait a minute, do I really want to have sex with this guy I just met and who’s really kind of a creep?”) These are his instructions for a man who is about to have sex with a woman, but then the woman says “We should stop”. On p. 202 he says that the man shouldn’t disagree with the woman, he should “just agree with her…and then keep going.” The ellipses is from the original text, I’m not omitting anything there.
> 
> **When a woman says “stop”, Mystery says the man should keep going.**

Read the whole post to see just how creepy it is. (_“The best seduction location is one that allows you complete control, such as the bedroom of your own apartment or house.”_) I can well believe that if the pick up artist movement is founded on the attitude and behaviour encouraged here that many of it’s adherents do find themselves “walking a fuzzy line” or having to worry about “Buyer’s Remorse” (lovely terminology, by the way). Because these are the attitudes and behaviour of a date rapist.

Here’s a hint: If, during sex, you find yourself wondering how you’re going to make your partner feel good about it afterwards, you’re doing something very badly wrong.

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