# Is "Dyke" derogatory?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-dyke-derogatory/593108
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [August 18, 2011, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-dyke-derogatory/593108 "2011-08-18T02:53:32Z")
**Posts on this page:** 10
**Page:** 3
### Author:  [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)
#### Post date: [August 20, 2011, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-dyke-derogatory/593108/41 "2011-08-20T23:57:02Z")
> [@YaraMateo](#):
>
> I have to say I LOVE how everyone bitching about this isn’t lesbian. The lone lesbian (to answer so far) doesn’t have a problem with this.
>
> P.S. I know I started this thread was made because of a post I made. So, OP thanks for being an passive aggressive douche bag about it.
I actually haven’t encountered the word here in a while. I can’t remember what sparked it, but it was somewhere else on the internet, either a web show or a flash game or something.
ETA: I think I did see your post actually, but I don’t think I read that far in the thread (or at least only skimmed it and missed your post) until after I posted this thread, if your post is the one I’m thinking of.
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### Author:  [@YaraMateo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YaraMateo)
#### Post date: [August 21, 2011, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-dyke-derogatory/593108/42 "2011-08-21T00:26:47Z")
> [@Jragon](#):
>
> I actually haven’t encountered the word here in a while. I can’t remember what sparked it, but it was somewhere else on the internet, either a web show or a flash game or something.
>
> ETA: I think I did see your post actually, but I don’t think I read that far in the thread (or at least only skimmed it and missed your post) until after I posted this thread, if your post is the one I’m thinking of.
Don’t be a LIAR. Your post happened a few hours after mine did. I’m not stupid. I know I sparked the thread and a mod told me you (via PM) you reported me in the same thread that sparked that. YOU HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO BE OFFENDED, but don’t fucking tell me you’re doing it because of lesbians.
I can say whatever I want. If mods don’t like it, BAN ME.
EVERYONE HERE CAN GO FUCK THEMSELVES.
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### Author:  [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)
#### Post date: [August 21, 2011, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-dyke-derogatory/593108/43 "2011-08-21T01:02:29Z")
> [@YaraMateo](#):
>
> Don’t be a LIAR. Your post happened a few hours after mine did. I’m not stupid. I know I sparked the thread and a mod told me you (via PM) you reported me in the same thread that sparked that. YOU HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO BE OFFENDED, but don’t fucking tell me you’re doing it because of lesbians.
>
> I can say whatever I want. If mods don’t like it, BAN ME.
>
> EVERYONE HERE CAN GO FUCK THEMSELVES.
Maybe I got the time table messed up, and I may have reported you? I don’t know, but this thread was really spawned by something else entirely. If you don’t believe me, whatever. It may have been your post in tandem with something else, but if I had a problem with you specifically I would’ve put it in the pit and linked your post. I’m really, really sure that even if your post helped, I had also read/seen something else that day that mentioned it and sparked the question even before that.
I have no beef with you, and honestly, I don’t care what the fuck type of language you use. If I reported you, it’s only because I wasn’t sure and was telling the mods that there MAY be a violation of some of the few out-of-pit language regulation rules. I’ve reported people for plenty of other things “just in case.” I have no real problem with the word myself (unless you’re specifically mocking my friends), so I’m not being passive aggressive at you or whatever you think. Even if you inspired it (which is possible, but I don’t think so, and if it was it wasn’t you ALONE), the thread isn’t meant to disparage you in any way. It was a legitimate question, simply because sometimes I see it being used in a positive or neutral manner, and sometimes not, so I wanted to know what the general consensus was before I made an ass of MYSELF.
ETA: Oops, sorry, didn’t see he was suspended when I wrote that.
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### Author:  [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)
#### Post date: [August 21, 2011, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-dyke-derogatory/593108/44 "2011-08-21T01:15:10Z")
> [@Jragon](#):
>
> Oops, sorry, didn’t see he was suspended when I wrote that.
[Moderating]
Yeah, I’ve given **YaraMateo** a time out while her long-term prospects on the boards are being discussed in the mod loop. Since she’s not around to respond, and since it’s a hijack in the first place, I ask that posters not respond to **YaraMateo** ’s post any further in this thread.
[/Moderating]
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### Author:  [@usedtobe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/usedtobe)
#### Post date: [August 21, 2011, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-dyke-derogatory/593108/45 "2011-08-21T04:34:57Z")
BINGO!
I will add that some “outsiders” are allowed to use certain words _amongst immediate friends_. When I lived in SF, I had some gay friends who would self-identify as “queer” (“fag” was much less likely to be so used) - among certain circles, I (straight male) had “permission” to use “queer”. There have been 2 women who would permit me to call them “dyke” as a term of affection.
I don’t see any white person easily getting permission to use “nigger” - “darkie” might be permitted, but I was never close to blacks - even in SF, even among people who worked closely together, the races still self-separated socially.
> [@Annie-Xmas](#):
>
> It’s known as the “Insider/Outsider” rule:…
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### Author:  [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)
#### Post date: [August 21, 2011, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-dyke-derogatory/593108/46 "2011-08-21T04:44:04Z")
> [@usedtobe](#):
>
> BINGO!
>
> I will add that some “outsiders” are allowed to use certain words _amongst immediate friends_. When I lived in SF, I had some gay friends who would self-identify as “queer” (“fag” was much less likely to be so used) - among certain circles, I (straight male) had “permission” to use “queer”. There have been 2 women who would permit me to call them “dyke” as a term of affection.
> I don’t see any white person easily getting permission to use “nigger” - “darkie” might be permitted, but I was never close to blacks - even in SF, even among people who worked closely together, the races still self-separated socially.
You can get “nigga privileges.” It’s an instantly revocable, non-transferable pass. I had a black friend force me to call him it once… was kinda uncomfortable. I still retain the “right” to use it, but refrain from doing so because I don’t feel like it (and if I get used to doing it in private, I don’t want to think what could happen if I accidentally did it in public).
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### Author:  [@ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies)
#### Post date: [August 21, 2011, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-dyke-derogatory/593108/47 "2011-08-21T05:04:35Z")
> [@usedtobe](#):
>
> I don’t see any white person easily getting permission to use “nigger” - “darkie” might be permitted, but I was never close to blacks - even in SF, even among people who worked closely together, the races still self-separated socially.
That seems like a pretty broad brush to paint with, and that has not been my experience. My social circles are quite diverse, at least when living in an area with enough people to actually have a social circle, unlike here. And when I had a non-vampire schedule, unlike now. Thanks. Now I’m feeling all isolated and shit…☹
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### Author:  [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)
#### Post date: [August 21, 2011, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-dyke-derogatory/593108/48 "2011-08-21T20:35:47Z")
> [@gaffa](#):
>
> My understanding was that “baby dyke” referred specifically to newly out lesbians who get all caught up in the politics of it, with the implication that they are tiresome bores on the subject and who will be much better company once they calm down some.
Yup, and sometimes Baby Gays (also the former name of Q-Tips, somehow). I don’t think it always carries a negative connotation, sometimes it just means they’re starting, perhaps tentatively, to navigate the big lesbo universe.
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### Author:  [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)
#### Post date: [August 23, 2011, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-dyke-derogatory/593108/49 "2011-08-23T15:03:49Z")
I just “The Other Side of the Hill,” a fictionalized account of the life of Laura and Almanzo Wilder’s daughter Rose.
Apparently she rode a donkey named “Spookendyke.” 😃
(For those who need an explanation, “spook” used to be a derogatory word for a “colored person.”)
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### Author:  [@Johanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johanna)
#### Post date: [September 15, 2011, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-dyke-derogatory/593108/50 "2011-09-15T18:46:15Z")
> [@tumbleddown](#):
>
> Absolutely used for self-identification as reclamation, but otherwise a slur and not to be used.
+1
Succinct & accurate.
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