# Is "Every Breath You Take" about love or stalking? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 24, 2011, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-every-breath-you-take-about-love-or-stalking/583062 "2011-05-24T20:39:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2011, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-every-breath-you-take-about-love-or-stalking/583062/1 "2011-05-24T20:39:44Z")
I feel oddly concise today. Somebody should do a quantum phasing technobabble test to make sure it’s me and not Mirror Skald. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Excellent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f19dbf/32.png) [@Mr.Excellent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Excellent)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2011, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-every-breath-you-take-about-love-or-stalking/583062/2 "2011-05-24T20:43:10Z")
Hasn’t Sting stated explicitly that it’s about stalking? [Every Breath You Take - Wikipedia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Every_Breath_You_Take) Sure, “the author is dead”, and if you can come up with a reasonable interpretation of the lyrics as a simple love song, then I’m not going to tell you that’s less valid than Sting’s interpretation. But the “love song” interpretation does need to be reasonable, and I’m not really sure how you make the case with these lyrics. ---
**Author:** ![Lobohan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobohan/32/79_2.png) [@Lobohan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobohan)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2011, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-every-breath-you-take-about-love-or-stalking/583062/3 "2011-05-24T20:43:19Z")
Yes. ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2011, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-every-breath-you-take-about-love-or-stalking/583062/4 "2011-05-24T20:44:23Z")
Stalking. Folks can identify with it as a love song, but the lyrics are pretty unambiguous. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Excellent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f19dbf/32.png) [@Mr.Excellent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Excellent)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2011, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-every-breath-you-take-about-love-or-stalking/583062/5 "2011-05-24T20:44:52Z")
Also, you’re clearly Mirror Skald. Our own universe’s Skald is the evil version, and wouldn’t bother suggesting that he might have replaced his doppleganger. I don’t know why you replaced our own Skald, or what you did with him, but I’m sure you had good reasons. More power to you! ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2011, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-every-breath-you-take-about-love-or-stalking/583062/6 "2011-05-24T20:44:56Z")
Looking at the lyrics, it’s definitely a stalker song: Since you’ve gone I’ve been lost without a trace I dream at night, I can only see your face I look around but it’s you I can’t replace I feel so cold and I long for your embrace I keep calling baby, baby please… Oh can’t you see You belong to me How my poor heart aches With every step you take She LEFT. And he’s still watching her! ---
**Author:** ![Skammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skammer/32/143_2.png) [@Skammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skammer)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2011, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-every-breath-you-take-about-love-or-stalking/583062/7 "2011-05-24T20:47:39Z")
I pegged it as creepy/stalkerish the first time I heard it. \*Oh can’t you see You belong to me… Every move you make Every vow you break Every smile you fake Every claim you stake I’ll be watching you\* Clearly the singer has a love/hate relationship with his target, whom he sees as phony and untrustworthy yet is the focus of his obsession. _shudder_ ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2011, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-every-breath-you-take-about-love-or-stalking/583062/8 "2011-05-24T20:55:07Z")
While I too fall in the _The speaker’s got a handkerchief and chloroform in his pocket, probably a knife too, for God’s sake shoot him now while we have the chance!_ camp, I know some reasonably intelligent (if somewhat over-romantic) listeners who see it as a genuine love song. I could make some guesses why, but I’d like to hear from persons who hold that opinion first. ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2011, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-every-breath-you-take-about-love-or-stalking/583062/9 "2011-05-24T21:39:14Z")
Well, you won’t get that from me. Every single day, every word I say, every move I make, every breath I take some jagoff I left will be watching me? That’s not love. That’s Mark David Chapman territory. ---
**Author:** ![classyladyhp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b5ac83/32.png) [@classyladyhp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/classyladyhp)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2011, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-every-breath-you-take-about-love-or-stalking/583062/10 "2011-05-24T21:42:37Z")
It is actually a song about obsessive love/borderline stalking. ---
**Author:** ![WOOKINPANUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wookinpanub/32/132_2.png) [@WOOKINPANUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WOOKINPANUB)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2011, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-every-breath-you-take-about-love-or-stalking/583062/11 "2011-05-24T21:47:02Z")
I said “I go back and forth” because I’ve known for years that it’s about a stalker but only because Sting has said so many times. I used to think it was about love - obsessive, obnoxious, clingy, pathetic love- but love nonetheless. What I never got about people using as a wedding song is that even if they believe the narrator is singing about his love, hasn’t the object of his affection dumped him? That’s not very romantical. ---
**Author:** ![Deegeea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Deegeea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Deegeea)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2011, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-every-breath-you-take-about-love-or-stalking/583062/12 "2011-05-24T21:47:14Z")
I’m of the opinion that unrequited love is not necessarily a dangerous thing. No more than romantic love in general is. And that deranged violent obsessive strangers/exes who attack the object of their obsession “stalker” is to mooncalf lovesick can’t get over the person who said no/who they never asked “stalker”, as abusive jealous raging spouse is to honeymooning sickeningly romantic spouse. Love can go bad, but it often does not. I’m not sure when society started equating unrequited love with violent creepiness, but I’m pretty sure it’s some kind of category error. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5f8ce5/32.png) [@The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Peyote_Coyote)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2011, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-every-breath-you-take-about-love-or-stalking/583062/13 "2011-05-24T21:57:09Z")
It’s you, Skald. I just summoned one of my demons to possess you. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Satchmo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/satchmo/32/4223_2.png) [@Satchmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satchmo)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2011, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-every-breath-you-take-about-love-or-stalking/583062/14 "2011-05-24T22:17:11Z")
> [@Mr.Excellent](#): > > Also, you’re clearly Mirror Skald. Our own universe’s Skald is the evil version, and wouldn’t bother suggesting that he might have replaced his doppleganger. I don’t know why you replaced our own Skald, or what you did with him, but I’m sure you had good reasons. More power to you! On the other hand, our Skald might be trying to make us think he’s the Mirror Skald. he is very tricksey. I go back and forth on the interpretation. It’s clearly over the line so far as admiring someone from afar, though many of the Rom-Com movies for the last 30 years have involved basically stalking until the stalkee realizes how much in love they are with the stalker. Even “Sleepless in Seattle” only reversed the genders on the stalker and victim. Also, I just saw this earlier today: [http://www.theonion.com/articles/you-know-i-used-to-be-kind-of-cool-once,10932/](http://www.theonion.com/articles/you-know-i-used-to-be-kind-of-cool-once,10932/) ---
**Author:** ![Sierra\_Indigo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f0a364/32.png) [@Sierra\_Indigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sierra_Indigo)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2011, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-every-breath-you-take-about-love-or-stalking/583062/15 "2011-05-24T23:18:29Z")
It is about “love”, but the twisted love a stalker has for his victim. Two birds, one stone. Baroo. ---
**Author:** ![Peremensoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ce7236/32.png) [@Peremensoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peremensoe)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2011, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-every-breath-you-take-about-love-or-stalking/583062/16 "2011-05-24T23:24:23Z")
> [@Deegeea](#): > > I’m of the opinion that unrequited love is not necessarily a dangerous thing. Yeah, but believing you _own_ the object of your attentions? ---
**Author:** ![miss\_elizabeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/838e76/32.png) [@miss\_elizabeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/miss_elizabeth)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2011, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-every-breath-you-take-about-love-or-stalking/583062/17 "2011-05-24T23:43:33Z")
> [@Deegeea](#): > > I’m of the opinion that unrequited love is not necessarily a dangerous thing. No more than romantic love in general is. And that deranged violent obsessive strangers/exes who attack the object of their obsession “stalker” is to mooncalf lovesick can’t get over the person who said no/who they never asked “stalker”, as abusive jealous raging spouse is to honeymooning sickeningly romantic spouse. > > Love can go bad, but it often does not. I’m not sure when society started equating unrequited love with violent creepiness, but I’m pretty sure it’s some kind of category error. Why don’t you ask someone who has dealt with a stalker, and had their concerns brushed off with this sort of nonsense? It’s more common that a lot of people know, and even if it doesn’t end in violence, it is so upsetting to live though. Un-creepy unrequited love should only be known to the person in love, and maybe one or two close friends. If the object of that “love” knows about it, you’ve crossed a line. ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2011, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-every-breath-you-take-about-love-or-stalking/583062/18 "2011-05-24T23:45:34Z")
> [@Deegeea](#): > > I’m of the opinion that unrequited love is not necessarily a dangerous thing. No more than romantic love in general is. And that deranged violent obsessive strangers/exes who attack the object of their obsession “stalker” is to mooncalf lovesick can’t get over the person who said no/who they never asked “stalker”, as abusive jealous raging spouse is to honeymooning sickeningly romantic spouse. Maybe so, but the narrator of this song is explicitly stalking the woman he is “in love” with. He says he’s watching everything she does. That isn’t cute, it’s psycho. And it’s not that he just wants to gaze upon her because he thinks she’s so wonderful. The narrator says that he will watch her as she breaks vows and fakes smiles. He believes she’s a dishonest person, and I would take this to mean that he feels she deceived him in the past and that he hasn’t forgiven her. With some minor changes to the lyrics this song could be turned into a more typical “I still love you even though you broke up with me, won’t you take me back?” song, but that’s not the song that Sting wrote. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2011, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-every-breath-you-take-about-love-or-stalking/583062/19 "2011-05-25T00:25:10Z")
I voted the first three options. It is a kind of a love song. It is also a stalker song. And I also think it’s somewhat purposefully constructed so if you’re not paying enough attention to the lyrics, it gives the impression of being a standard pop love song. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2011, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-every-breath-you-take-about-love-or-stalking/583062/20 "2011-05-25T00:32:59Z")
> [@Sierra\_Indigo](#): > > It is about “love”, but the twisted love a stalker has for his victim. > > Two birds, one stone. Baroo. I would not say that the emotion a stalker feels for his or her victim is best described as love. Love is the state of mind in which the well-being of another person is essential for one’s own peace of mind. Doesn’t apply to stalking. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-every-breath-you-take-about-love-or-stalking/583062.md?page=2)