# Is "Every Breath You Take" about love or stalking? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 24, 2011, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-every-breath-you-take-about-love-or-stalking/583062 "2011-05-24T20:39:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2011, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-every-breath-you-take-about-love-or-stalking/583062/61 "2011-05-27T05:52:01Z")
> [@Hippy\_Hollow](#): > > Color me surprised that people consider R.E.M.'s “The One I Love” as a love song. It has the word “love” in it, true, but nothing in this song sounds loving. It’s brooding and threatening, and the lyrics starkly indicate that the narrator has moved past the conquest of the one he loves. I don’t agree. But for the one giveaway line the song could well be mistaken for a love song. Yes, it is dark but absent the crucial line it could be about someone mourning someone they love but have been forced to leave behind for reasons outside their control. After all, the standout line is “this one goes out to the one I love”. Not loved, but “love”. And they are singing the song “to” them. The “prop” line is much harder to pick up than the repeated line about “this one” going out to “the one I love”, which sounds pretty caring, on its own. ---
**Author:** ![tim314](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim314/32/3468_2.png) [@tim314](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tim314)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2011, 6:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-every-breath-you-take-about-love-or-stalking/583062/62 "2011-05-27T06:56:04Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > I happen to know one woman who actually helped out her stalker, because she realized how completely pointless being scared of him was. She gave him some of her shampoo so he could smell her. > > She thinks the idea of being creeped out by someone who likes you and wants to watch you is silly, and that the animosity is what leads to stalkers who wind up doing something violent or destructive. I envy her ability to overcome such emotions. Your friend is (at best) ridiculously naive. Someone is (a) obsessed with her, and (b) doesn’t have a problem violating normal societal boundaries, and she thinks it’s “silly” to be creeped out? Maybe her stalker really is harmless, but at least the way you phrased it, she thinks it’s a silly thing for someone to be concerned about _in general_. That’s just ignorant. There are numerous, well documented cases of this sort of behavior escalating to violence. And suggesting that it’s the stalkee’s lack of acceptance of this behavior that causes it to escalate is a serious case of blaming the victim. ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2011, 11:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-every-breath-you-take-about-love-or-stalking/583062/63 "2011-05-27T11:52:23Z")
> [@tim314](#): > > Maybe her stalker really is harmless, but at least the way you phrased it, she thinks it’s a silly thing for someone to be concerned about _in general_. That’s just ignorant. There are numerous, well documented cases of this sort of behavior escalating to violence. And there are numerous well documented cases of people being hit by lightning twice, also. Unless you consider it quantitatively, whether fear of a stalker is actually significantly justified cannot be judged. ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2011, 12:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-every-breath-you-take-about-love-or-stalking/583062/64 "2011-05-27T12:23:11Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > She LEFT. And he’s still watching her! Bingo. If that “Since you’ve gone” hadn’t been there, I could have bought the “dead lover watching from beyond” interpretation. But it is, so I can’t. The PoV character is in the bushes with binoculars, and you really don’t wanna know what he’s doing with his other hand. ---
**Author:** ![Irishman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@Irishman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Irishman)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2011, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-every-breath-you-take-about-love-or-stalking/583062/65 "2011-05-27T15:34:59Z")
> [@Princhester](#): > > I don’t agree. But for the one giveaway line the song could well be mistaken for a love song. Yes, it is dark but absent the crucial line it could be about someone mourning someone they love but have been forced to leave behind for reasons outside their control. After all, the standout line is “this one goes out to the one I love”. Not loved, but “love”. And they are singing the song “to” them. The “prop” line is much harder to pick up than the repeated line about “this one” going out to “the one I love”, which sounds pretty caring, on its own. See, the “simple prop” line could be interpreted to applying to someone else, not the one he loves. He’s saying “This one goes out to the one I _love_. The one I’m with is just a simple prop to occupy my time, as opposed to you, who I had to give up. That one, she’s just another prop, to occupy my time, but this song goes out to the one I love.” But I don’t know what to make of the line “Fire”. I don’t know what that is trying to say in any context. ---
**Author:** ![cain7](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/2acd7d/32.png) [@cain7](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cain7)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2011, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-every-breath-you-take-about-love-or-stalking/583062/66 "2011-05-29T22:21:25Z")
More recent than The Police, U2, or REM was Hinder’s _Lips of an Angel_. Granted, it’s simply within the category of songs that are frequently misinterpreted rather than implying anything sinister, but lyrically it sends a clearly dysfunctional message. I can’t count how many girls I knew thought that it was a sincere love song. ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2011, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-every-breath-you-take-about-love-or-stalking/583062/67 "2011-05-30T03:18:27Z")
> [@Irishman](#): > > See, the “simple prop” line could be interpreted to applying to someone else, not the one he loves. etc… I probably wasn’t clear. I’m not saying the song _is_ a love song. It isn’t and I agree with your interpretation. I was just disagreeing with **Hippy Hollow** ’s apparent suggestion that it was \*obviously \*not a love song. I think it is a song that because of the strong line “this one goes out to the one I love” line, and the more obscure “prop” line can easily be mistaken for a love song. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2011, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-every-breath-you-take-about-love-or-stalking/583062/68 "2011-05-30T03:22:49Z")
Love or stalking. Doesn’t matter, because they’re both beautiful. ---
**Author:** ![Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slow_moving_vehicle/32/291_2.png) [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slow_Moving_Vehicle)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2011, 11:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-every-breath-you-take-about-love-or-stalking/583062/69 "2011-05-30T11:08:23Z")
> [@Princhester](#): > > I probably wasn’t clear. I’m not saying the song _is_ a love song. It isn’t and I agree with your interpretation. I was just disagreeing with **Hippy Hollow** ’s apparent suggestion that it was \*obviously \*not a love song. I think it is a song that because of the strong line “this one goes out to the one I love” line, and the more obscure “prop” line can easily be mistaken for a love song. Haven’t listened to the song in years, but I always thought that the “a simple prop/ to occupy my mind” line referred to the song itself - “this one” that is going out to the one I love is “a simple prop/ to occupy my mind”. ---
**Author:** ![Irishman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@Irishman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Irishman)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2011, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-every-breath-you-take-about-love-or-stalking/583062/70 "2011-05-30T17:52:24Z")
**Princhester** , I was agreeing with you. **Slow Moving Vehicle** , it’s "_time"_, not “mind”. ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2011, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-every-breath-you-take-about-love-or-stalking/583062/71 "2011-05-30T23:40:39Z")
> [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](#): > > Haven’t listened to the song in years, but I always thought that the “a simple prop/ to occupy my mind” line referred to the song itself - “this one” that is going out to the one I love is “a simple prop/ to occupy my mind”. Never thought of that. Even if you are right, though, the other less kind interpretation is so clearly possible that I’d struggle to call it a love song. Also, Michael Stipe has said in interviews that it is a brutal song and that interpreting it as a [love song is a mistake](http://www.songfacts.com/detail.php?id=1254), for what that is worth. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-every-breath-you-take-about-love-or-stalking/583062.md?page=3)