# is gray hair less attractive? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 20, 2012, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-gray-hair-less-attractive/635336 "2012-09-20T23:54:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![JackieLikesVariety](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackielikesvariety/32/296_2.png) [@JackieLikesVariety](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JackieLikesVariety)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2012, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-gray-hair-less-attractive/635336/1 "2012-09-20T23:54:23Z")
I am only 51 but have enough gray hair that it makes me feel old. also, I think people in our culture get less respect if their hair is gray. my Mom told me this was her experience so she colored her hair right up until she retired. she said she absolutely got more respect. so, I should color it, right? I _want_ to. but, I have been trying to reduce the amount of toxins I expose myself to: buy organic food when I can and so on. if you think it makes no difference (had a coworker tell me, we all live in a toxic soup anyway) then read [Slow Death By Rubber Duck](http://www.amazon.com/Slow-Death-Rubber-Duck-Everyday/dp/1582437025/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1348184855&sr=1-1&keywords=slow+death+by+rubber+duck), which explains, yes you _can_ make a difference by choosing to avoid toxins. and hair color is pretty toxic; it just is. the “clean” option is henna - which gives a warm red color that won’t flatter me. but I hate my gray hair. should I leave it? get a wig? or color it and say, OK, toxins - in this case it’s worth it. you know what I want to know? do men my age find gray hair less attractive? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2012, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-gray-hair-less-attractive/635336/2 "2012-09-21T00:04:27Z")
Yes. It means you’re old. Dye your hair. It ain’t doin’ men any good either. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2012, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-gray-hair-less-attractive/635336/3 "2012-09-21T00:08:46Z")
> [@JackieLikesVariety](#): > > but I hate my gray hair. If you hate it, color it. It’s _your_ hair after all. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2012, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-gray-hair-less-attractive/635336/4 "2012-09-21T00:09:53Z")
> [@JackieLikesVariety](#): > > the “clean” option is henna - which gives a warm red color that won’t flatter me. Henna actually comes in a variety of shades from red to auburn to dark brown - I’m not sure if any of those would work. I think if your hair goes grey _attractively_ and you get a very good hair cut it can look good but if either of those things are missing it can look dreadful. ---
**Author:** ![VernWinterbottom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/c67d28/32.png) [@VernWinterbottom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VernWinterbottom)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2012, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-gray-hair-less-attractive/635336/5 "2012-09-21T00:09:57Z")
> [@JackieLikesVariety](#): > > I am only 51 but have enough gray hair that it makes me feel old. also, I think people in our culture get less respect if their hair is gray. my Mom told me this was her experience so she colored her hair right up until she retired. she said she absolutely got more respect. So Mom started to let her hair go gray, noticed she was getting less respect, then colored it and people began to respect her more again? If she just colored it all along, how does she know they would have stopped respecting her? ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2012, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-gray-hair-less-attractive/635336/6 "2012-09-21T00:11:40Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > It ain’t doin’ men any good either. Actually a bit of salt at the temples is pretty attractive on many men. Well, I think so, anyway. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![rsat3acr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/a3d4f5/32.png) [@rsat3acr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rsat3acr)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2012, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-gray-hair-less-attractive/635336/7 "2012-09-21T00:12:00Z")
I’m 54 and gray hair doesn’t bother me a bit. Would rather see all gray than gray roots. However what makes you happy is what matters. ---
**Author:** ![JackieLikesVariety](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackielikesvariety/32/296_2.png) [@JackieLikesVariety](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JackieLikesVariety)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2012, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-gray-hair-less-attractive/635336/8 "2012-09-21T00:12:15Z")
the sweet young man who cuts it very much wants to use a color he calls “iced cappuccino” I may have to give in when it sounds so yummy. _blush_ ---
**Author:** ![JackieLikesVariety](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackielikesvariety/32/296_2.png) [@JackieLikesVariety](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JackieLikesVariety)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2012, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-gray-hair-less-attractive/635336/9 "2012-09-21T00:13:26Z")
> [@alice\_in\_wonderland](#): > > Actually a bit of salt at the temples is pretty attractive on many men. Well, I think so, anyway. 🙂 see, I think gray or white hair looks fine on a man as long as it is clean and tidy. but on me? not so much. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![JackieLikesVariety](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackielikesvariety/32/296_2.png) [@JackieLikesVariety](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JackieLikesVariety)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2012, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-gray-hair-less-attractive/635336/10 "2012-09-21T00:15:00Z")
> [@VernWinterbottom](#): > > So Mom started to let her hair go gray, noticed she was getting less respect, then colored it and people began to respect her more again? > > If she just colored it all along, how does she know they would have stopped respecting her? she let it go gray, then colored it and noticed the difference. she was (she passed away about 7 years ago) a very short woman and she said it was hard to get respect anyway. I don’t know. anyway, she noticed a difference. and I look just like her, all short and going gray. ---
**Author:** ![JackieLikesVariety](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackielikesvariety/32/296_2.png) [@JackieLikesVariety](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JackieLikesVariety)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2012, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-gray-hair-less-attractive/635336/11 "2012-09-21T00:16:56Z")
> [@](#): > > Henna actually comes in a variety of shades from red to auburn to dark brown I’ve been looking into it - they are all lovely warm colors…that don’t flatter me. IMHO! ---
**Author:** ![RedFury](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ec9cab/32.png) [@RedFury](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RedFury)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2012, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-gray-hair-less-attractive/635336/12 "2012-09-21T00:17:23Z")
Gray hair/bald and beard for years now – 56 and it never occurred to me to dye any of it. It is what it is. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2012, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-gray-hair-less-attractive/635336/13 "2012-09-21T00:18:35Z")
> [@JackieLikesVariety](#): > > see, I think gray or white hair looks fine on a man as long as it is clean and tidy. but on me? not so much. ☹ Well, I do think there is a limited number of styles that look sophisticated if your hair is gray - if it’s shortish you’ll look like a granny. If its long (past your chin, probably) you’re likely to look homeless. I always find a sleek, chin length bob in grey or silver looks fantastic, and the super short spikey do you see on older arty ladies with can look good, but other than than, it all tends to look a bit frumpy. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2012, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-gray-hair-less-attractive/635336/14 "2012-09-21T00:22:18Z")
Meril Streep in The Devil Wears Prada has _AWESOME_ grey hair - she looks like a total foxy bitch. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![sisu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@sisu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sisu)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2012, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-gray-hair-less-attractive/635336/15 "2012-09-21T00:24:04Z")
Depends some woman can carry it off, some not so much. It’s up to you but as a man I will go grey naturally. On women coloured hair is kind of normal. ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2012, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-gray-hair-less-attractive/635336/16 "2012-09-21T00:26:08Z")
I keep hearing all this rubbish about toxins. What the fuck are toxins? Hair dye has some strong chemicals in it, sure. How else would it change your hair color? That’s why you use gloves, ventilate well, and throw it away when you’re done. The time people spend dithering about ethereal, poorly-defined life-shortening toxins causes anxiety which actually DOES shorten their lives. That said, gray/white hair ONLY looks good on men with dark tans or brown/black skin colors. Light-skinned guys can rock the salt and pepper for a while, but once the pepper is gone, it looks like shit. Gray/white/salt and pepper is NEVER a good look on women, though, except those who play grandmas on television. If you’re a working professional woman, then you should absolutely dye it. If you leave it au naturel, you’re going to look at least 10 years older than you would if you dyed it. Occupational age discrimination is already rampant, you don’t want to increase the likelihood of it happening to you. I have a lot of respect for older women who rock their natural color, but it would be a mistake to call it a professional look. There’s only \*one \*woman in my entire department who doesn’t dye her hair. And my department is at least 75% female and skews heavily toward middle-age. But hey, it’s your hair. Do what you want. ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2012, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-gray-hair-less-attractive/635336/17 "2012-09-21T00:31:30Z")
Did you see Sebelius at the Democratic Convention? Didn’t she look a hell of a lot more authoritative than Pelosi? Fair hair is kinder to mature skin, and only very expensive dye jobs can cover gray attractively. If you have lovely silver hair like Sebelius, spend the money on the cut. ---
**Author:** ![JackieLikesVariety](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackielikesvariety/32/296_2.png) [@JackieLikesVariety](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JackieLikesVariety)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2012, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-gray-hair-less-attractive/635336/18 "2012-09-21T00:35:32Z")
if it’s toxic or not is another thread, I guess. I have no doubt it is & if you want to get something into your body, putting it on your skin is a good way to do it. and it wouldn’t be just once - it would be once a month from now until…well, I could dye until I die! does nobody think a wig is a good option? I wonder if they make your head sweat? ☹ ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2012, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-gray-hair-less-attractive/635336/19 "2012-09-21T00:38:04Z")
> [@JackieLikesVariety](#): > > if it’s toxic or not is another thread, I guess. I have no doubt it is & if you want to get something into your body, putting it on your skin is a good way to do it. > > and it wouldn’t be just once - it would be once a month from now until…well, I could dye until I die! > > does nobody think a wig is a good option? > > I wonder if they make your head sweat? ☹ Without getting too personal, if you’re starting to get to the point where hot flashes are an issue, a wig is a BAD idea… ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2012, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-gray-hair-less-attractive/635336/20 "2012-09-21T00:40:49Z")
It depends on the person and how you style it. It’s possible to have very striking gray hair. And, more importantly, it’s possible to do such a horrible job at dying it that you look worse. [These images](http://fromgoldtosilver.blogspot.com/2011/03/its-silver-not-grey.html), for example, look rather attractive. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-gray-hair-less-attractive/635336.md?page=2)